《Smash Gal & Esvanir》Issue 27: I Do

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=== Cindi ===

It was finally happening. After what seemed like months of planning, logistics, and things going awry and being corrected, today was the day. I was going to get married; it wasn't being forced on me; it wasn't a surprise; it wasn't some ploy to get anything. I would be married to a man who had never asked me for anything unreasonable. Who all but worshiped the ground I walked on but was more than willing to call me out when necessary. Someone strong and capable and delightful. I sat in the chair as one of my attendants did my hair. It took a while, but the effect was worth it.

I carefully donned the dress. It was a very custom piece. The primary fabric was sheer white nylon, and you could see everything. It was accented with little black feathers that prevented it from being too lewd. I had worked with the tailor for days to get it right. To make sure that it was true to my brand and to myself but to also allow it on the live-stream platforms. Because this was going to be a spectacle. For everyone. Everyone was going to see me and Curt, the only Buck Cherry and the only Esvanir, devote themselves to each other. My bridesmaids walked through. They were decidedly less showy than me. Which was not my request. I asked them to fit the theme to the best of their ability, but I didn't set their dresses. There was my maid of honor, Alia Danson, the Copycat. A small, red-headed woman who was capable of copying any inanimate object she understood well enough. She had helped me sell several copies of the same paintings I had stolen. She was bone thin and didn't stand out at all usually, but when it came down to party, she brought it to life. And not just because she had started her career by copying and selling every variation of drug that one could imagine and, despite my pulling her into the world of art forgeries, kept her ear to the ground to the latest developments. She was wearing a gorgeous black dress with a white stripe down the middle and had crafted her own mask to match. And cat ears. Since I suggested her villainous name, she had gone wholly into the theme. And it was perfect for her. Aloof but playful.

One of my other friends that I had traded some statues to, Tierra, was my second choice for maid of honor. And she only lost out because Alia was much more excited about it. She was another thief and a good one. She didn't get shot at nearly as often as I did. If only because she also had a power. She could push people's emotions, and she could outright change them when she focused. So, what she did when she was caught was cause her prospective captors to be paralyzed with fear or overjoyed to the point of distraction. If someone pissed her off, she'd force the worst anxiety or depression on them. She always kept it light around me, though. And she had also dressed perfectly to match. She had chosen a tuxedo coat and a blouse that was low-cut enough even for my standards, with tight black pants. Her short-cropped red hair and artful black mask hid her features delightfully. Each of those girls had filled out the rest of the party with some friends or family or associates. They were dressed fine, but I didn't know them, and honestly, I didn't care to. They seemed too civilian to really keep up with me. I don't have many people in my life. But those I do have are the only ones I need.

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Des opened the door and walked up. The sounds of guests chattering away in anticipation of the main event poured into the room, only to be cut off as they closed the door behind them. The good doctor was dressed to kill in their combination tuxedo dress. It was white with the little buttons going down the chest, only to be wrapped up with a cumberbund around their rather shapely waist, to end in a poofy, thigh-length skirt. And the whole thing was tied together with black thigh highs and a tuxedo jacket. Their brown skin and eyes contrasted delightfully with it. I do wish they had done something different with their hair. It was still in the high ponytail that they constantly favored. But they had switched out the scrunchy for a decorative, studded one. Their mask actually had their glasses built into it. I assume Curt had helped with that. Once inside, they stopped in their tracks, and their eyes scanned the room. They looked at me for a moment but then went to the bridesmaids, stopping on Tierra for longer than most, then moved on only to stop again on Tierra. Des was always so cute. I brought her back to the real world by asking, "Des, darling. How is our little Essy?"

"Huh?" They jolted back to reality. "Oh, yeah. He's an absolute wreck. He's been going over everything he's in charge of all morning."

"Is he getting cold feet?" Tierra asked me. "I could go calm him down if you want."

"Thank you, dear. But no. Curt's not going to run away now that we're at the finish line, isn't that right, Des?" Des pretended to look at one of the girls' dresses, but I traced their eyes back to Tierra. "Des?"

"Hm? Oh, well, I don't think he will run."

"Oh, well, you don't sound certain, now do you?" I said with a grin; I had an absolutely devious idea. I looked back to Tierra. "Let's just be sure. Des, why don't you take my friend Tierra here and check on him? After all, it would be such a shame if this all fell apart, wouldn't it?"

Des stiffened, and Tierra just smiled and nodded. She walked over to them and held out an elbow. Des was shorter by a head and looked up at her before wrapping their arm around hers and stiffly walking off. As they exited, I added, "Do have fun, now."

From there, I got my makeup done. I wasn't really minimalist when it came to this ordinarily, but now I made sure that it was perfect. My attendant helped a lot. We prepared a deep eye shadow and cherry red lips. And then I picked up my mask and put it on. It was an ornate, black masquerade mask that incorporated faux diamonds and a full crown. And with that, we were finished. All of the preparations were done. Months of planning, more than I've ever done for a job. And the day was perfect.

=== Kari ===

I stood in a room with a collection of other heroes. Bion and another tech hero worked through the systems and tried to hack into the live-stream feed that had started hours ago. They had vastly different approaches, both of which seemed to be failing miserably. I didn't have anything to do, really. Not yet. Not until we figured out where they were.

"Damn it!"

"What?" I asked the man hunched over a desk. He had long blonde hair that was a little thin and scraggly in places.

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"Whoever set this stream up is insane! They brought paranoia to a whole new level," he said, gesturing to the screen. "He not only seemed to create his own VPN with its own set of incredibly robust defenses but is running his VPN through three other top tier VPNs, each with their own unique security measures."

"Not only that but he's also distorted the background of the live-stream interviews to make sure that we can't use that as a clue to find him."

"Interviews?"

"Yeah, it seems that anyone who wants to is giving a little speech congratulating the couples on the nuptials," Bion responded, sighing. "Mr. Reese is being exceptionally cautious."

"Oh. What are we going to do?"

"We can continue to try and brute force it," the blond man said, "but I have no idea if we'll get through before the ceremony ends."

"We have to, though. If we don't, they may disappear until the next time they poke their heads out to steal something, and then they will be expecting an attack."

"It seems like they're expecting an attack now," the blond man said.

"Yeah, Curt is smart enough to realize that this is a big event and would be the exact time that you or I would attack, Mr. Wan," I said, crossing my arms over my chest. I watched the screen with a large man who was giving what seemed like a very long speech and screwed up my face. "So, his security is really good, right?"

"He's thought of a lot of contingencies at the very least."

"What about the guests?"

"What about them?"

"Well, if you've ever been to a movie theater, there are always like a thousand requests to turn off your cellphones, but half the time, there's still someone whose phone goes off, and they take the call, right?"

"Yeah, so?"

"So, what if we found someone we recognized and did a thing with their cell phone?"

"That's. . . Not a bad idea, actually," Mr. Wan said. I tried not to frown at the 'actually'. They were the tech geniuses, and they hadn't thought of it.

"But they are all still wearing masks."

"Yeah, but they're like ballroom masks. We could still probably get a partial match in the system if any criminals are present. And with that, we would have a chance. We can just automate the rest of the processes and try to get through in as many ways as possible."

They started running everyone they could see through a bunch of facial recognition software and kept trying to do the other things to try and crack Curt's system. That seemed like a lost cause, though. I looked around the room at the rest of the task force. There was Bion, Chuck, Jenny, the blond man who apparently was also some kind of tech hero, and myself. I stepped away from Bion and his friend and closer to Chuck and Jenny.

"How are you guys doing?" I asked.

"Oh, you know. Can't wait to get started. Can't believe I wasn't invited. I was the one that broke the story, after all!" Jenny laughed.

"Yeah, I hope this goes well. We have a lot of manpower," Chuck said, eyeing the screens over the duo's shoulders. "But Esvanir and Buck Cherry are tricky. And I doubt they're going down without a fight."

I swallowed, trying to suppress a shiver as memories of the last time I had seen Curt bubbled up into my mind. Chuck put a hand on my shoulder. "It'll be okay. You've been training. You're way more prepared than you were last time."

"Yeah, we got this," Jenny said with a fist pump.

An hour or so later, Andrew jumped up and cheered, then bent over and started coughing heavily. When he recovered, he looked back at the group. "We got them! They're in a garden in Spain!"

"Spain? How are we going to get there on time?"

"Well, I can," I said with a grin. "What about the rest of you?"

"I have the fastest jet in the world. It even makes you look slow, rookie." Bion said. "We can be there in thirty minutes. Suit up, everyone!"

"Yeah, get your game faces on," Jenny said.

=== Curt ===

I stood on the altar, surrounded by people. I looked out into the crowd. Our wedding had ballooned well past what I had expected. There were two hundred people here. But Des was here with me on the altar. Their comforting presence had been the only thing that had stopped me from collapsing. So were Cindi's friends. I had never met them before last night, but they all seemed like fantastic people. For a bunch of amoral thieves. Which, to be fair, were the exact kind of people I belonged with.

We decided on a greenhouse wedding; it was hot and humid, and the altar was surrounded by beautiful flowers and plants. The guests were in their seats. I had to admit, this was a gorgeous scene. I had my friend here. I was about to get married. We had found a lovely secular officiant to marry us. The documents were ready to be signed, and the only part of the official ceremony we had left was the most important. Not counting the reception and the cake cutting and all that. While that would all be fun, it wasn't what I cared about. I tugged on my tuxedo and the silk shirt underneath. I fiddled with the diamond cufflinks absently. Des put their hand on my shoulder, and I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

I was also wearing one of the black masks. A special one that had a crown designed into it to match Cindi's, apparently. I had retrofitted it with the same technology as my glasses. I had my rig in one of my pockets. Cindi and Des both tried to convince me to leave it behind, but I couldn't. I couldn't risk it. I had triple-checked my security measures the night before and quadruple-checked them this morning, but I just couldn't take the risk of something happening. I also had Cindi's rig in my pocket. We had spent a little time training her on it so that she'd actually be able to use it. I had given Des a popper that I would force them to use if anything happened. God, I wish I believed in any gods so that I could pray that everything would be okay.

The music started, and I glanced around and saw her walking down the aisle. My breath caught as the light hit her directly for the first time. Cindi is gorgeous. A supermodel super-villainess. But I had never seen her so . . . done up. She had long, dark eyelashes, and her hair fell in a delicate pile on her shoulders and had an incredible luster to it. Her blue eyes focused on me as she walked, and she smiled through her veil that was even sheerer than her white dress. You could see the hint of every curve, and with every step, her hips swayed. She wore sheer black stockings under her thin, vaguely translucent white dress to match her shiny black shoes. She was perfect. She was always perfect, but she was more perfect right now. I eventually remembered to breathe.

It took her what seemed like an eternity to get to the altar with me, but I wouldn't have dared to speed it up for an instant. I took in every detail. I wanted to remember this forever. If I was on my deathbed, my brain rotted from dementia, I wanted this to be how I remembered her. After forever had finally passed, she stood across from me, and the music died down. The officiant started her presentation.

"We are gathered here today to celebrate and cherish the union between Curtis' Esvanir' Reese and Cindi' Buck Cherry' Drei. This is not the start of their relationship, but it does mark a beginning for them. An evolution. You two have been through many struggles and much strife, if the news is any indication to go by," the officiant grinned at us. Some people laughed. "And you have come through it, and this ceremony will bind you officially together. Marriage is a promise to cover for each other's weaknesses and reinforce each other's strengths. And you two have already been doing that for so long. It is a promise to grow with each other and cherish the life you have built for yourselves. No matter what challenges you face, you face them together. And no matter what successes you create, you create them together. I am honored to be witness to your declaration. Now, I understand that the bride and groom have a few words for us."

"Curtis Reese," Cindi began. I could see tears brimming in her eyes as she did. But she also wore the biggest smile I had ever seen on her. "Essy. My Essy. You are one of the most special, important people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. You are unlike anyone I have ever known. You are the smartest dumb man I have ever met and the dumbest smart man I will ever know. You can see so much and give so much to anyone that isn't you. And it is my goal, my life's dream, and my pleasure to give you what you always deny yourself. Whether that be credit or pleasure or joy."

Des gave a huge sniff from behind me, and a small part of me wanted to look behind to see if they were crying, but I couldn't bear to break my gaze away from Cindi. Cindi smiled over at them before continuing. "As of today, you will be officially mine, and I will treat you exactly as well as you deserve. Not how you treat yourself. Not how you think you should be treated. You are mine, and what you will not give yourself, I will give you."

I laughed and shook my head. I was definitely blushing. I couldn't have been any less red than half of the roses around us. I swallowed and leaned forward. "I- uh. I've never been one for words. Or even grand gestures. And I don't have a kingdom or a castle to give you. But, I mean, anyone can give you those things. So, instead, what I promise is to be there. I will be there for you when everything is going down and when nothing is. When you need to hear a dumb joke because those are the only ones I know how to tell. But most importantly, when you come home, I'll be there. Not waiting. Not because I need you there. But because I want to be there. And when you're back with me, I'll love you just as much, if not more, than I did the last time you graced me with your presence."

Cindi let go of my hands for a moment to dab at the tears in her eyes. She was still smiling. The officiant beamed between us and began again. "Curtis Reese, do you take Cindi Drei as your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do," I responded, still never looking away from Cindi's eyes.

"And Cindi Drei, do you take Curtis Reese as your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do."

"And if no one objects to this union," the officiant began. Glass shattered from above and rained down on the guests. A bright, pink figure slammed down onto the ground. Kari. Fuck! I thought. Four more figures came down from above. Bion, Professor Mind, the Cannoneer. Another person I don't recognize.

"I do," Kari shouted. "I object!"

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