Shin slept, but the System did not.

The voice that came from some infinite distance high in the sky was clearly agitated, its terse voice the sound of clouds boiling. “Enough of this radio silence shit, okay? This is your monthly. You are contractually required to talk to me today.”

The voice that echoed out from the emptiness between every space that ever was chuckled, its amusement like the lordly shadow of a condescending moon. “I’d bet you’ve had to say that last line more times in your life than you ever anticipated.”

“Ha-Fucking-Ha.” Sky Voice seemingly shuffled some papers, the scrape of the material brushing against itself sheering the sky from dawn to dusk and back again. “Okay first and foremost: What’s their status in regards to the Ring? Because when they hit Level Three, that stupid lake is probably gonna–”

“No, no; it’s fine.” Empty Voice waved its hand dismissively, each nonexistent finger swiping ethereal through the souls of all beings. “There’s no danger there.”

“Oh. So you don’t think it’ll turn into–”

“Nah it definitely will. Fucking Doug. If he’d just finished that river or pond or whatever it was the design doc called for, there’d have been no chance for an issue like this.”

“Jesus.” Sky Voice drummed its fingers, each tap the explosion and rebirth of an entire star. “What happened to that guy, anyway?”

“What do you think happened? Like Mundi’s gonna pay severance or whatever.” Empty Voice scoffed, the stone of the earth quivering in blissfully wicked humor. “I’m sure they just suspended his Keycard and then looked the other way until the issue solved itself. He’s probably still in the Emulsion somewhere.”

“Right. So why isn’t this an issue again?”

“The same reason it’s not an issue for any other assets near the Ring? The Edge is still there, doing its thing, so even if they somehow managed to make it that far that’s where they’d stop.”

“Okay sure, I can sell that. Fine, next issue.” Sky Voice flipped to another paper, a new iteration of reality reknitting itself over the tatters of the old one as it did. “Alright, Big Picture Time: Is this interesting yet?”

Empty Voice shrugged, the mountains surging into the heavens and down into the depths in tandem with the motion. “You’re the one with the outside perspective. Do you think it’s interesting?”

“I mean…sure? But…”

“But what?”

Sky Voice sighed, the heavens unfurling with its consternation. “Why are they named wrong?”

“Named wrong?” Empty Voice queried, trees bursting from the ground to tilt in confusion. “What do you mean, ‘named wrong’?”

“Kobolds aren’t dog people. They’re lizard people. Shouldn’t they be gnolls?”

“Gnolls are hyena people, you mouth-breather. We already have those. We already have lizard people, too, like two dozen of them.”

“Rat people, then?”

“Those are kobolds in some other game; Mundi’s not gonna get their ass sued over this shit. Besides, kobolds are dog people sometimes, too. Coach Wanwan in Doki Doki Monster Gakkou is a dog girl and she’s called a kobold.”

Sky Voice huffed, its exhalation displacing galaxies. “Fine whatever; I’m not gonna look up whatever furry hentai you just linked me to try and win a point. What about them joining with the hobgoblins, then?”

“Seriously? I thought that was one of the better bits.” Empty Voice raised an eyebrow at Sky Voice, the air solidifying in a show of challenge. “You’re honestly going to sit there and claim samurai hobgoblins aren’t cool?”

“It’s not about them being cool, it’s that Civilized hobgoblins never work out. They’re a designated Monster race. The Players get confused, and the Player solutions to whatever confuses them are invariably apocalyptic.”

“Mm.” Empty Voice seemed unimpressed, every motion in the world ticking slower. “Sounds like a ‘Next Update’ problem to me.”

Sky Voice stuffed its papers back into a file, inverting all directions across existence. “Look, it doesn’t even matter. This whole Alliance whatever could be the most interesting thing we’ve ever done and it wouldn’t matter. We’ve got existing investment in that sector, and these not-lizard people are already pushing up against that investment. Do you really think that a greedy piece of shit like Agent Dickhead will be willing to just play nice and share?”

“That code name is hilarious.”

“That is so beside the point.”

“Well, who said I expected him to share?” Empty Voice’s smile curled catlike, all life shrinking inward to avoid being noticed by the devilish gleam in its invisible eye. “I just think the kobolds are interesting. D.H. has been stagnant lately anyway; he gets lazy. Doesn’t this seem like a gift-wrapped opportunity to spice things up?”

“Oh. Ohhhh.” Sky Voice fumbled its notes back out, possibilities cascading chaotically against one another. “You sneaky little bitch; I should have known. Have you been pushing them in this direction?”

“No need. Not yet, anyway. Besides, I wanna see how the face-to-face with D.H. goes before really sinking my hooks in. If they even get that far; Big Dog’s probably going to miss his chance to cut off his revenue stream. Either way, I’m just a bit player for now.”

“You’ve definitely got a big picture concept though, right? You always do. What’s it gonna be? Meta-Event? A new Pathway? Ooo, a permanent Festival?”

“You’re underestimating the amount of juice this has. I was thinking something with a little more…oomph.”

“Whoa, you mean–?”

“That’s right. I’m thinking RAID.”

That word RAID echoed in on itself endlessly, all things both thinking and otherwise cowering away from the utterance’s horrible power. It was so overwhelming that Sky Voice’s otherwise godlike tones could barely be picked out. “Hey, who’s the anon listening in?”

“Eh?” Empty Voice’s speech was likewise almost indecipherable. “I thought it was one of your interns or something. It’s probably just a passing Shell or whatever.”

“Sure. Well, we’ve still gotta talk for another…fucking three hours I guess. I think Mundi counts this as a therapy session for HR purposes.”

Both voices began to fade away, that unspeakable curse RAID continuing to blare out like a shrieking thunder blast. “Fine, whatever. What are you doing for lunch?”

RAID

RAID

RAID

“I was thinking Olive G–”

RAID

RAID

RAID

RAID

RAID

Shin burst awake with a gasp, only the comforting weight of the drowsily-stirring kobolds he was entwined with keeping him from thrashing himself back unconscious.

What the fuck.

————————————————————————————————————

The brisk work of the crafters and workers as they hammered away at the destroyed waystation wasn’t nearly enough to distract Shin from his profoundly fascinating and deeply upsetting dream. Not even close.

The spectacle should have intrigued the Schemer; the System didn’t seem to particularly care what sort of repair work was done, simply that it be done inside the Conquest Node itself. So a few Villagers restitched tents, some pounded pointless nails into the still-smoldering wall, and one seemed to be fruitlessly tapping a saw against the ruins of the firepit. And still the Repair Bar went up and up, bringing the waystation that much closer to repair and their Tribe that much closer to Level Three. That much closer to potential Sanctuary. So strange. So cool.

But Shin couldn’t marvel at the oddities of his world at the moment. He was too busy being terrified by the oddities of his world. Those were the voices from before, right? From when he changed from a mongrel? The ones that had casually suggested deleting them was an option? The kobold had assumed that was some fever dream concocted by his evolving mind, but this seemed to be clear and frightening evidence that it was simply not so.

Okay. Stop tail tucking, and start sniffing out treasures. There was a lot of potentially useful information in that nightmare, between all the weird nonsense and hideous declarations. This dream wasn’t just a threat, it was also a gift.

Also he suspected his codename was ‘Big Dog’, and despite his best efforts Shin couldn’t help but find that incredibly flattering.

Alright, So. ‘Agent Dickhead’ was definitely someone in the Oaken Elves, right? And the two voices seemed to imply they had some form of contact with him? Was D.H. a normal person like Shin, or was he also some sort of otherworldly being, like a Player or one of the Voices? And what was that about a revenue stream?

Ugh, Shin almost felt like he knew less now than he did before he didn’t know anything. Still, there was one thing he absolutely had to know before he went any further. Fortunately for him, there was someone on hand who might have the answer to all of his questions.

“Hey, Bex?”

“Hm?” The honorary kobold looked over from where she was nailing a tent to the side of a tree. “What’s up, Shin?”

The Schemer carefully stepped over the pile of late-sleeping kobolds, nearly tripping over the snuggling pile of Mimasi, Karikari and Hanbun as he approached the curious girl. Shin glanced over his shoulder, then leaned in and kept his voice low.

“What’s a Raid?”

The Player blinked. “Oh! Wow, I’m surprised you’ve heard of those.” She tilted her head, trying to decide how she could explain it. “Well, a Raid is like a whole zone that’s always set to a specific story, and a big group of players goes through to complete its challenges?”

Shin squinted in confusion. “What do you mean, ‘always set to a specific story’?”

“Okay, um, it’s like this: In the Harpy Queen’s Revenge, it always starts with the Flock Knights setting the town of Rockhaven on fire, and the Players have to, like, kill the harpies and put out all the fires that are on the buildings and townspeople and stuff. But then when the Raid is finished, everything goes back to the start.”

“The townspeople are on fire?”

“Sure, but the Players put them out.”

“Yeah, but what about when they finish the Raid?”

“Oh.” Bex considered that. “Well, I guess they go back to being on fire.”

“They go back to…” Shin shook his head, trying to process the concept. “So when no one is doing this Raid, all the people are just endlessly on fire?”

“Um. Yes.” The Player furrowed her brow. “And actually, no one really does that one anymore. The stats on the Boss Loot are bad. So, uh, Rockhaven and the people who live there probably spent most of their time burning down.”

Fucking Hell. “What is a Boss?”

“Oh!” Bex brightened up again. “That’s like a big fight against a special NPC that’s really tough, and after you kill them you can get weapons and armor and stuff.”

“So…and then what? They’re just dead?”

“What? No, no; they respawn so the…er,”–Bex slowly began to reconsider her excited expression–”...So the next group of players can kill them.”

Shit Fucking Hell.

Bex awkwardly tapped her fingers together, ears drooped as she tried to fill the silence. “Um, you know, when I was telling my friend who plays the game about you guys? He said that you and Gero and Momo kinda sounded like a good Council-Type Boss. That’s where–”

“Stop, stop, please stop.” Shin waved a hand, the other pressed to the bridge of his nose. “I don’t think I want to hear anymore.”

“Right, sorry.” The girl shrugged sheepishly. “It’s not like you have to worry about that, though. Raids are all super high level stuff. Waaay on the far end of the Path of Destiny. Those kinds of things don’t happen at this level.”

“But what if one did?” Shin asked insistently. “Wouldn’t that spice things up?”

“A lowbie Raid?” Bex paused. “I mean…yeah? That actually sounds kinda great?”

Shin suspected the Empty Voice, whoever that was, thought so as well. Just as he suspected that self-same Voice was watching them from somewhere very close. He could only thank his lucky stars that Sky Voice and Empty Voice were still obligated to talk for another hour or so, or else he may not have had this opportunity to get these horrifying answers out of Bex.

And that was the most important thing. Shin had to pretend like he hadn’t heard anything. If he could keep himself from being caught, maybe he’d have a chance to eavesdrop on another backroom chat. But if he was found out? The kobold shivered. He didn’t want to think about it.

Particularly not when there were other, more pressing issues at hand. A shout had gone up from the zone barrier, and that could only mean one thing: the Oaken Elves were sending their response to Bittercup’s letter.

That was fast. According to the relay of Wild Children hiding out at the entrance and exit of every zone between Shinki Itten and Quercus, the message had only just now reached the city. And they’d already sent back their response? Shin had hoped they’d be at Level Three well before the letter worked its way up to someone with enough pull to organize the reply.

Well it was done now. The only question was, what was that reply? Shin tuned out the din of the reconstruction effort to focus on the howls the relay kobolds used as shorthand. Hm. Well they weren’t sending just a letter, but there also wasn’t an army on the way. It sounded like…three elves coming? Was that–

No. Shin had missed a touch of the nuance in his first listen. The Oaken Elves hadn’t sent three of their own. Their reply was three Players.

Well he definitely agreed with Empty Voice on one matter: This had certainly gotten interesting.