The Player shot to her feet before Shin or the equally stunned Ceril could comment on her unexpected appearance, bounding over towards the sleeping quarters and snatching a mirror off of the bed stand. “Aw dang it,” she pouted, tilting up her chin as she gave her face a critical inspection. “Crap.”

For better or worse, something compelled Shin to speak. “What’s, uh, wrong?”

“Oh! Um, quick OOC,” She crossed her fingers, holding them out like some sort of ward or signal as she continued investigating her visage. “Sorry, you can’t ever see all the angles in the Character Creator. I gotta fix this; BRB!”

Without further explanation she dropped the mirror back on the table, her jaw falling slack and her eyes rolling back in their sockets as she limply wobbled in place. Shin watched in fascination as her shape and features began to shift and morph, subtle changes playing across every aspect of the Player’s newly formed body.

Shin’s captivated spectating was interrupted by Ceril, the Oaken Elf brazenly grabbing his captor by the lapel of his robe. “Players can spawn here?! I thought this was a Lowbie Zone, not a Starting Zone!”

“Let go of me.” Shin batted Ceril’s hand away, giving the agitated prince a flat look. “And I have no idea. As far as I know, this has never happened before.”

Mimi murmured in agreement. “What are the chances of a Player appearing here so soon? Very low; they’d have to be very low. I don’t understand it at all.”

Ceril bit his lip, staring at the transforming Player with trepidation. “Well you’d better figure it out fast, because Quercus cannot be next to a Starting Zone. You’re going to get my home turned into a godsdamned Instance or something.”

“A what?”

The elf shuddered. “I don’t want to talk about it. Just...you have to handle this. Okay? You have handle this.”

Any further questions Shin might have had were shelved when the Player snapped back to life, eagerly flouncing back to her seat at the table. “Okay, there!” She folded her hands primly over each other, adopting a coquettish look. “How’s that?”

Vain as they might have been, her efforts certainly weren’t in vain. A piquant, heart-shaped face with large, sparkling green eyes, a cute little nose, pertly expressive ears…she’d even swapped her hair to a fetching chestnut-colored bob. Shin particularly liked the freckles; he’d always been fond of freckles. “I just hope you’re prepared.”

The Player blinked. “Huh? Prepared?”

“Prepared for all the flowers and poems you’ll be receiving from lovestruck villagers.”

She gasped in delight, flushing pink as she gave Shin’s arm a playful slap. “Omigosh, the NPCs can even flirt?! This is so much fun.” She took a quick breath, making a steadying motion with her hands. “Okay, okay. Right.” She exhaled, adopting a serious expression. “Back in character.”

She plopped her elbows onto the table, entwining her fingers to prop up her chin as she expectantly looked back and forth between Shin and Ceril. When nothing happened, she furrowed her eyebrows. “Um, start Quest? No?” She tried again. “Begin Storyline?”

Shin tilted his head, his deep curiosity overriding any potential concern. “What are you doing?”

“I’m trying to start the…” She trailed off, a memory flitting behind her emerald eyes. “Oh, wait. I’m not supposed to say.”

“Why not?”

“Um, isn’t this an RP Required Zone?”

“A what?” Shin glanced towards Ceril, finding the elf unwilling to join the conversation. “What’s that?”

The Player made a thoughtful noise. “I guess it’s not, if you can even ask that…Status?” She flicked her fingers in the air, flipping through an invisible screen until she found what she was looking for. “Oh! Okay, no; this is just an RP Welcome Zone. That’s not…exactly what I asked for, but whatever I guess.” She waved away her screen, offering Shin a bashful look. “Right, well, I was trying to start the Storyline? But I guess I don’t know how? This is my first time, sorry.”

This time Shin tried Mimasu, but the scribe wasn’t any more help than Ceril had been. It seemed as if this was going to fall on him. “I don’t think we have one of those here?”

“Eh? Really?” The Player furrowed her brow, then drew in an astonished breath. “Wait. Do you mean this whole zone is Procedural? Is your whole race Procedural?!”

“I don’t know what that means?”

She leaned forward excitedly. “It means you didn’t have a Writer! Do you not have a Writer?”

Shin had to consider that for longer than made him entirely comfortable. “I...guess not? I really was not prepared to consider and prove my own free will tonight.”

“No no, it’s cool; this is completely awesome.” She bounced excitedly on her cushion,her eyes glimmering. “My friend told me Magica’s storylines all suck anyway. So what’s the deal here, then? Crafting Hub? In-Game Resort? Ooo, is this a new Housing Space? I looked those up; the vibe here is kinda like Hijiki but way less casually racist.”

“I feel like I’m saying this a lot, but I don’t really know.” Shin couldn’t help a little smile in spite of himself; this was going very differently from his first Player encounter. “We’re…pretty new here.”

“So cool.” She extended an arm. “Um, my handle is BexMex, but you should just call me Bex.”

Shin took her proffered greeting, giving a small bow over her hand. “My name is Shin.”

“I’m Mimasu, but please call me Mimi~!” The peppy scribe stopped writing long enough to wave. “I’m getting all of this down for posterity! So exciting~!”

“And our other guest,” Shin gestured towards Ceril, who was still pointedly attempting to ignore the whole situation, “Is Ceril. He apologizes for being rude.”

“Prince Ceril,” The elf couldn’t resist mumbling, “That’s Prince Ceril.”

“Well it’s really great to meet you guys!” Bex clapped her hands together. “So what now?”

Shin considered that for a moment. “Well, I have a few questions for you…maybe I could bribe you with dinner?”

The Player gasped theatrically. “How did you know that bribes are my very favorite thing?”

Hm. Maybe certain Players weren’t so bad after all.

—————————————————————————————————————

Bex was deep into her fourth rice bowl before Shin felt he was even close to understanding the circumstances of her arrival. “...So okay. So Players…make bodies for themselves? And they use those bodies to explore our world?” The Player nodded, still chewing away, so Shin continued on. “Then where do you come from?”

She gulped, offering a rueful shrug in the pause between between bites. “Sorry, I definitely can’t tell you that. Like literally; I physically can’t say.”

How fascinating. And deeply, deeply unsettling. So Players were…Shin still didn’t entirely know what they were. But what he did know was that whatever they were, and wherever they came from, his world was essentially a playground for them. Woof. “Are there going to be more of you appearing here, then?”

“Prolly not,” Bex offered around her mouthful before swallowing. “Kobolds don’t even show up on the main Player Race selection? I only found the option because I used a really specific Preferences Search parameter.”

Something in that finally caught Ceril’s attention, the recently reticent elf raising his eyebrows. “Preferences Search? You’ve got the Collector’s Edition?”

“Oh. Um, no? I mean, kinda? I’ve actually got the Tenth Anniversary Palladium Special Collector’s Edition: King Majesty’s Inner Circle Bundle.” Bex seemed a bit embarrassed. “It, um, came with a plush.”

Ceril was suddenly very interested in the conversation, offering Bex his most ingratiating smile. “My most esteemed young miss. Why are you wasting your time in a backwater like this? You simply must allow me to escort you to the court of my father, King Glandem. I’m a Prince, you know.”

Bex’s eyes widened. “Uh, really?”

Shin didn’t say a word, too entertained by Ceril’s sudden shift in demeanor to remind the elf that he was still very much a prisoner.

For his part, Ceril burst from his cushion and extended his hand to Bex with a gallant bow. “Of course! Come with me, my dear Lady Bex, and I will show you the sylvan wonders of the Quercus, the Ever-Growing City! In that wondrous land, we can–”

Bex cut him off. “Quercus? Wait, you mean Oaken Elves?”

Ceril had not anticipated an interruption, stumbling over his speech before he could regain his verbal footing. “Well yes, I’m a Prince of the noble Oaken–”

“Yeah no thanks.” The Player turned away from Ceril with a frown. “I’ve already seen enough of Quercus on DeviousArt.”

The elven prince sucked in an affronted gasp at that, his ears wriggling with insulted fervor. “I am going to bed. Good night.” And with that, he turned and stomped out of the room.

Shin tilted his head back, giving Mimi a look. “Find a room for Prince Ceril, and please lock him inside until morning.”

“Right~!” The scribe bowed, and then marched after Ceril to find the tantrum-throwing elf a bedroom slash prison cell.

Well there was simply no avoiding the next question. “What was that all about? What’s wrong with Quercus?”

Bex huffed, stirring her chopsticks through her rice. “I don’t wanna talk about it. I just think the way some people play this game is super gross.”

No question on that score. Shin had seen that first hand himself. “I guess we won’t have to worry about that here, if it’s just going to be you.”

“Well I don’t know about that.” Bex stacked her empty bowl with the three others. “You guys are super new, so the System just hasn’t sorted you yet. Eventually, you’re gonna show up to everyone.”

That was not what Shin had hoped to hear. “I see.”

“So maybe you could find a way to spice things up a bit here? Like, some sort of quest or story or something?” Bex stood up, giving her legs a stretch. “Oh, I don’t mean for me. This place is, like, perfect for me! But I think other Players might find it kinda boring? And if you guys got Pruned it’d suck really hard.”

“Pruned?” Shin felt his ears beginning to flatten of their own accord. “What’s that?”

“Oh. Well, you remember how I said Procedural stuff was pretty rare?” Shin slowly nodded, so she continued on. “Well that’s ‘cause if the Mods think the Players won’t like it, they delete it. And their taste is, like, famously bad.”

It was a strange thing to listen to a cheerful young woman casually discuss the utter erasure of oneself and their entire people. Shin found that he very much did not like it. “Well. I’d like to officially vote against Pruning, then.”

“Me too! You’ve definitely got my vote of approval.” Bex shrugged regretfully. “It’ll be up to the Mods, though.” A furtive look shimmered across her eyes as she motioned for Shin to lean in, dropping her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “You’ve probably already got one watching, I bet.”

Shin raised his eyebrows, the hair on the back of his neck pricking up. “Really?”

“Oh yeah, for sure. I bet there’s totally a Shed in this zone right now, disguised as a tree or something and taking a bunch of fussy notes.” Bex tsked. “Those guys are like if you gave Omniipedia admins the ability to personally alter space and time. Real power trip nightmares.”

“I don’t know what any of that means. But I do know I didn’t like any of it.”

“Well I’m rooting for you, Shin!” The Player gave her new kobold friend a thumbs up before opening up an invisible Screen. “Hey listen, I gotta go. But you’ll show me around tomorrow, right?”

Shin nodded distractedly. “Sure, of course.”

Bex grinned. “Awesome. ‘Kay thanks byee~!”

And then she was gone.

For a long moment, Shin simply remained seated at the table as he worked through what he’d learned. Everything had seemed so simple when he was a mongrel. They just needed to defeat the outpost monsters, and then life would be good. Only now, he knew that wasn’t the case. Even if the kobolds had won some measure of control over their lives, their lives would never truly be their own. If what Bex said was true, then every aspect of Shin’s world served one ultimate purpose: amusement for the Players.

And if they weren’t amusing enough? Pruned. Cast aside. Deleted. Gone.

Something would have to be done about that. But Shin knew that was a goal for a later day. For now? He needed to figure out how to make the pleasant little lives of a small village of honest people exciting.

Hopefully Players really liked colorful fish.