10-7-18

Kaylor and I had left behind the Igidoe border, no longer within sight of the patrols and made some progress towards the Bowl when an alert chirped in my head. The familiar sounds brought confusion and trepidation to me as I froze and tried to locate the source. Kaylor stilled next to me, crouching a little as he prepared to defend us. It was coming from the west and I turned slowly, pivoting on the spot to face in the right direction. Just as I stilled, a faint, prolonged rustle alerted me to the presence of others. They must have received a ping alert too, and would be making their way cautiously towards us to find out who was here. We were always careful whenever we got a ping on the off chance that a rogue signal set it off or the other group was in some sort of trouble. The last thing we wanted was to go merrily traipsing into the middle of a tense or dangerous situation and cause more conflict. It took a while, both of us slowly creeping forward to try and assess the situation but eventually, they emerged slowly, visibly wary and peering around with caution, their defensive postures mirroring ours. I recognised the face of the leader and had to fight the joy that leapt up in me.

“Na’We?” I blurted in surprise. I still held my defensive stance, but managed to relax a little. It could have been a lot worse, depending on which of the leaders I encountered, but I wouldn’t have to handle anything. This would be interesting though, Na’We was quite the character.

“Sierra.” Na’We stared at me as if trying to figure out how I fit into this situation before grinning and straightening up, no longer defensive. “It’s so good to see you cub! I’ve missed you.” She strode forward and swept me into a bone crushing hug, shooting questions at me with no time to answer, just like she always did and I laughed happily. She always called me cub, ever since she used to keep an eye on me when my father had to do some task that was too dangerous for me to join him on. “How are you? Is Seth well? Have you been eating enough? What’s the Capital like? Are you happy?”

Na’We was part Fae and part Ibrenday, a rare shifter race that most believed had gone extinct. The Ibrenday liked to keep it that way. If they ever left their small city, they disguised themselves as Myath to preserve their secrets. It was hard to imagine anyone who wanted to pose as a Myath but the Ibrenday had their reasons and, inevitably, those who travelled with us ended up making their own Myath families. This made Na’We very tall and strong but she was a sweetheart who always had room for one more. She made an excellent community leader.

“Na’We, I missed you to but I need to breathe.” I wheezed and the crushing hug went on. She finally relaxed her grip and lowered me back to the ground but kept her hand on my upper arms so she could look me in the eyes. “Seth’s fine, he’s spending time with his fathers and getting to know our kin. I’m well too.” I smiled up at her a little sadly. “It’s so good to see you Na’We. I’m so sorry I haven’t been around recently.”

Na’We stopped me before I could try to explain. “Sierra, you may be a Leader of Leaders for the Myath, but that cannot be your everything. We understand that your life has taken an unexpected turn and we support you in this. Well, most of us understand and support you in this but let’s not talk about the Idiots right now.”

“Na’We, you shouldn’t call them that.” I chided but it was hard to argue with her on this point. There was a great deal of illogical and ridiculous behaviour from the two trouble communities in the Myath race. Still, I had to hope that they’d improve one day, even if it was unlikely.

“Oh hush, we can debate this another time. Like I was saying, we understand that you’ve found kin who accept you, like almost all Myath dream of, and we support your attempt to find a place with them. We know how dedicated you are to the Myath, just like your father was, and we trust you to find the right balance between the two. We also trust you to keep our secrets until we are ready to speak of them. So stop worrying. You’re not too old for me to teach you a few more things cub.” She teased me gently.

It was a relief to know that those I was closest to supported the path I had taken and it must have been evident in my face because Na’We naturally teasing demeanour fell away and she spoke seriously.

“It’s definitely odd, coming out from the shadows and putting our trust in those who have ignored or persecuted us for so long, but most of us believe the time is right. This… thing that’s going on has reminded us all that there are bigger things out there to put our energy in to. Nothing is going to change overnight and we won’t fix all the problems that caused the divide between the races but we can have real positive change. We finally have hope for a better existence and that began with you and your kin. We are always here for you and we are grateful to be your friends Sierra.” She said gently. “So, you have us all behind you, keep pushing and forge your path. We’ll do whatever we can to help. Except the Idiots. Ignore them.”

I laughed at the flippant ending to her serious speech but a weight lifted from my chest. They understood and they didn’t blame me or resent me for the choices I’d made.

“Thanks Na’We. And don’t call them Idiots. Please?” I asked. “Anyway, what are you doing outside of the travel paths? It’s not safe Na’We, especially not so close to the Igidoe border. Has something happened?”

For the first time, Na’We’s confident air fell away and I saw the worry and tiredness she hid behind her mask. “I know, but we didn’t know what to do Sierra. We had to go around Igidoe territory rather than through it, like normal, because the patrols have increased. What’s more, we’re avoiding the paths because our people are scared. The change in routines and the odd things going on, flooding, the debris fall… it has them questioning if the paths are safe anymore. We’re struggling to reassure them. There just isn’t a lot of information on the network right now. And…” She hesitated.

“What Na’We? What is it?” I asked, searching her face for whatever troubled her.

“We lost a community and we aren’t even sure how. They’re just gone Sierra. The Emergency Team is working to track down their last communication now.” Na’We confided, sorrow clear in her voice.

“What? I checked the Network less than a quarter ago, there was nothing about this there. Who was it?”

“It was only two rotations ago that we knew anything was wrong. Thisop was late for the Moonly check in. When we investigated further, we found that no one had heard from him in nearly a half moon, so we triggered the emergency measures. We can’t even find their beacons at the moment, the Emergency Team are having to go from their last known location. And, before you ask like I know you will, it was nowhere near any of the known debris falls or any other phenomena. We can’t explain it.”

“Red Claw activity?” I asked, my mind immediately switching to emergency mode.

“Red Claw activity has dropped recently. We aren’t sure why. No sightings in that area anyway, not for at least an orbit.”

I fell silent as my mind raced to figure out what to do. Thisop was the leader of one of the more cantankerous communities and fell under Na’We’s label of the Idiots for his stubborn refusal to take anything from a non-Myath, causing him to take a more primal view to survival harking back to an ancient way of life. His community thrived, being one of the larger groups, but he had a lot of dependants. An ominous feeling twisted to life in my stomach.

“All we can do is let the Emergency Teams do their work. I’ll dive into the Network and see if I can boost the receiver to try and find their signal.” I commented before turning my full attention back to my friend. “Na’We, it’s not safe off the paths. My team walked straight into an Itbit nest not far from here. We got hit with terror in the Dew drops. I had no idea it was there. You did the right thing not going into Igidoe territory, they’re on high alert right now.” I consoled, knowing how difficult it was to reroute at all, let alone when you’re so unfamiliar with an area. We always encourage our people to take the vetted paths because the alternatives always brought more danger and death.

“Why weren’t you using the paths Sierra? I know you and your father are used to forging your own path through the wilderness but is now the right time to take risks? I’m sure your Icanthie kin would not be pleased if you disappeared.” Na’We asked, the concern clear in her voice.

“I didn’t want to risk meeting one of the more… difficult communities on the paths when I’m travelling with Icanthie guards. Any of the communities would overwhelm us with numbers and I didn’t want to upset younglings in these already difficult times. I had no idea the paths were being avoided at the moment. It would have made things a lot easier.” I lamented, a little weary. Ah well, it was still a sound decision I think. “As far as I know, the paths haven’t been affected by the flooding or the debris fall. The sensors show a little increase in fauna activity but nothing overwhelming. The way markers will keep the worst of the wildlife away. With regards to other threats, I made sure not to reveal anything specific about the Myath to the other races, not our systems, how we operate, where we camp. Nothing. They may not be perfect or even safe really, but the paths are still the least dangerous option for now. I know it’s unsettled at the moment, but we’ve never really been safe. If anything, we may be a little safer if the races ignore us more than usual in favour of dealing with other issues.” I paused so see if that sunk in. One of the hardest things about being a Myath leader is trying to reassure our people when we all know we don’t have a lot going for us, so we often looked for the silver lining in everything. “I’m going to put the Itbit nest on the Network right now so you can see it. If you choose not to use the paths, stay far away from the border and the nest. I haven’t been in the area long enough to know more than that.”

I directed my attention to my screen, tapping away to fill in all the details along with a marker so that they could be uploaded to the Myath Network. I couldn’t delay it if Na’We was going to take her community through the wilderness here and it would give her time to analyse everything we’d discussed and decide her next steps. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Kaylor standing stoic and watchful, far enough to give us a little privacy but close enough to intercede if her felt I was in danger. Na’We hadn’t said anything about him even though he was clearly visible. She knew that I wouldn’t talk so openly around someone I didn’t trust and if he was with me, he was probably alright. She probably thought he was an ally as no one would mistake Kaylor for a Myath. We had a varied and complex relationship with our allies in the races so Na’We would take my lead when it came to dealing with him.

Each ally was different. Some never even set eyes on us, just leaving supplies or information in locations they knew we would come across having used their ID’s to withdraw a little more from the synthesisers than the default. Some met with us and offered skills or supplies while we were in an area. Some gave up their normal lives to live with us for various reasons, justice, compassion, love. They were the ones that had families and children, creating more Myath like me, second, third and fourth generation Myath who were closer to the general idea of acceptable. Some were so nondescript, they lived in the cities undetected. MACC probably had something to do with that. Then there were the various allies in positions of power that helped us do the impossible, like obtain nanites, access the Global Network without ID, even get a legitimate ID for a few lucky younglings. Yet always there was the question of trust. Even the staunchest ally, if caught, could let something slip, so we were careful to compartmentalise the allies, restricting how much they knew, how many they interacted with and keeping tabs on their lives to make sure nothing changed that would jeopardise us. If an ally became unreliable, we never saw them again. The exception were those who came to live with us. They gave up so much to join us, we made sure to protect them with all our power. It was the least we could do. After a while, they were no longer allies, just kith and kin.

Once I had finished setting up the new marker and details for the Itbit nest, I turned back to Na’We, waiting to see what she’d decided. It looked like she was still torn, her brow furrowed as she talked quietly with her two sub-leaders. They looked like they were struggling to come to a consensus so I decided to see where they had become stuck.

“What have you decided?” I asked into the tense atmosphere.

Na’We looked up at me and I could see the frustration on her face. “We’ll have to take it to the community to decide. Ultimately, if they refuse to use the paths, we can’t make them but I’m sure your reassurance will help settle their fears.” she said, turning back to face me again. “We miss you and your capable leadership Sierra. You always had a way of soothing things over and keeping everyone calm.” I looked away, a familiar guilt rising in me as I questioned again if I’d made the right choice by going to the Capital. “We don’t regret it you know. We know what you’re doing now is much bigger than just us. It may not be more important than your work with us, but it’s just as important and we can cope until this crisis is over. I hope, when it is, we can see a little more of you.” She smiled and I let out a sigh, my feelings complicated. The guilt shrunk a little and I was grateful that my people didn’t feel abandoned.

“You know you can always contact me, anytime for whatever reason.” I said.

“We know. Welp, best get moving. The light won’t last forever and I’ve got a community to wrangle.” Na’We picked me up into another crushing hug. “Stay safe hun.” She whispered, putting me down.

“Stay safe.” I answered quietly and simply watched as they disappeared back into the foliage, leaving no sign that they had been there. I’d still see them on my personal mapping programme until we were out of range, now that we had identified each other and made contact. It was sad, watching them disappear and not knowing when or if I’d see them again. There weren’t many, but it was one of the things I detested about this way of life. The people you cared about, the connections you forged, were fragile. At any moment they could be gone.

I turned away, reorienting myself to face in the direction of the Bowl and set off to find my team. My own little mix and mash community. Kaylor followed behind me, silent as always so I was surprised when he spoke softly.

“How did you come to be on first name basis with the Igidoe Primes son?”

I stared at him, a bit non-plussed before I choked off the laugh that bubbled up my throat.

“That’s what you want to ask me after everything we’ve seen and experienced this rotation?” I asked mirthfully. Kaylor just waited, keeping on eye on me and one on our surroundings. “Alright. You must not share this with anyone, his safety is at stake if this gets out. Understood?” I asked and waited for his confirmation. “Well, we met as children. I was looking for some younglings who had wondered off from the community but when I found them, we were attacked by a scavenger. I was trying to protect them and hold it off when he just appeared. I was more scared of him than the scavenger but he helped us. I tried to thank him and get the younglings out of there quickly, so they’d be safe when he realised we were Myath, but he wouldn’t let us travel alone. He said it was too dangerous. As we got closer to the community camp, I urged the younglings to run home and stayed behind to tell the Igidoe boy that I was a Myath, that I was actually really nice if he wanted to get to know me but if he didn’t, or his parents wouldn’t let him, I understood and hoped he’d just let me go home to my dad. He was so surprised, he tripped over a branch and bloodied his arms and legs. If felt so bad, I rushed over to him and pulled out my medical kit that dad made sure I always carried and started to patch him up.” I smiled as I retold the story, the memories still clear to me. “He just stared at me the whole time, watching me deftly handle his cuts. Some of them were deep but he didn’t make a peep. Finally, when I was done, he stood up and announced that I couldn’t be too bad if I was willing to help someone I was afraid of. He told me I needed looking after because so many people wanted to hurt me and that he’d be my big brother and protect me whenever I was on his land. He insisted on swapping contacts and made me promise to contact him whenever I was close, even if it was just a thought or a quick hello. He really is like a big brother to me. We saw each other a lot when I was young but as I got older and when he went through his Maturity, it was harder to hide our meetings and what I am so we didn’t see each other as much. The Igidoe Prime is very opinionated and stubborn. Even though the Igidoe customs mean I’m protected by Kenji-sans declaration of kinship, his dad wouldn’t see a reason to honour that when I’m a Myath.”

I finished speaking, once again a little saddened by the complex dance I had to perform to make sure I could stay in touch with my loved ones. But it was short lived as I reminded myself of the gratitude and joy I felt to have so many good friends and family. All in all, it was all worth it when I knew so many wonderful people and got to be a part of their lives.

By the time I’d finished explaining how I’d met Kenji-nii, we could see the odd effect of the camouflage as we approached our temporary camp in the Bowl. A whistle that sounded like a Blue Breasted Warbler had me looking up and I spotted Merrick sat in a tree branch keeping look out. He smiled at us and hopped down to join Kaylor and I as the barrier parted to allow us entrance. I noted with relief that the camp had a lighter feel to it than when we left, with more energy, smiles and banter. The shadows in their eyes, put there by the Terror, wasn’t completely gone but you wouldn’t notice it unless you were specially looking for it. And looking hard. That was a weight off my mind. Hopefully, once we returned to the capital and were seen by the best Healers, my team and I would be no worse for wear after our brush with Itbit Dew. Even the two worst cases were participating in the talk around the fire as Eecee cooked some of the protein she’d procured from our supplies. It really was well made and I couldn’t taste the difference between it and wild caught meat, though it was rare we ever resorted to eating that. It was messy and not sustainable for extremely large carnivorous populations like ours.

“Hello everyone.” I greeted them. “That smells good Eecee, do you have any spare? I haven’t eaten since we left.”

“Sierra! Brother! Welcome back, there’s plenty to go around. How was your trip?” Eecee asked as she offered me a hot protein slice from the fire.

I took the time to take a bite, blowing air in and out to help cool it before it burnt my tongue and humming happily at the delicious taste and the warmth that spread through me as I swallowed. I needed that.

“Everything went well, we met my contact no problem and made it back across the border in good time. This is delicious Eecee thanks!” I mumbled around another tasty mouthful, though I made sure to swallow before I continued. “Kaylor, get some rest and something to eat. I’m going to grab Mathias and contact Kine before I crash for the night. We’ll pack up in the morn and set off for the next destination. Not sure where it will be yet but I’ll let you know.”

They cheerfully answered me and I waved jauntily back at them all as I turned to find Mathias and a quiet area for the call. Mathias wasn’t far, having been watching for me since I arrived. I hugged him tightly and savoured the scent of kin as he hugged me back. I’d been worried for him ever since I’d left, knowing that theTerror had affected him but not sure how bad it had been thanks to his stoic facade. Those with difficult pasts were either really good at dealing with this kind of thing because they already faced their shadows and overcome them, or really badly affected because they hadn’t. I looked closely at him, asking with my eyes if he was okay. To my surprise, he answered my unasked questions aloud, his deep rumble enveloping me in peace.

“Thank you for your concern for me little one. I am well. The Terror unearthed old, painful memories and cruel images of losing you and Kine and my other nieces and nephews but I managed to perceive the falseness of them. My pain is eased knowing the truth of my past and by your presence here, safe and well. Do not worry for me anymore.”

It was rare for Mathias to say so much but I listened to every word, weighing each one and searching them for the truth. By the time he had finished, I was satisfied that my sweet, kind gruff uncle was no worse for our encounter with the Itbit Dew.

“Okay.” He raised an eyebrow, as if to say ‘that’s it? Okay?’. I nodded. “Okay.” We smiled at each other until I remembered we were supposed to be calling Kine. “Let call Kine. I have a lot to tell him.”