Chapter 22

“I just died in your arms tonight”

The synthesized notes play on the airwaves as the sounds of a bygone era echoed through the halls outside of Jack and Barry’s. Within these dark grimy hallways lies a secret, being passed from one person to another as the whispers get louder as the secret unravels. Word per word. Sentence by sentence. Her ears grew more concerned the more she heard as she tugs her bow tighter. Her hands started to grow weary with each detail that entered her ears, feeling the need to keep them busy, otherwise she might hit something that might reveal her position.

Pai looked confused as he continued to hear his friend out, venting his story that he had kept for long as they both hid themselves from the world behind the fire exit door. The cold August air blowing in their faces helped in calming the both of them down while the cigarette smoke coming from the exhaust grounded them to reality. But in the midst of it all, he couldn’t help but think that the story he was hearing was leagues more different than the one he heard earlier that week. When a certain girl that he had taken a liking to, broke down in his arms and opened her soul to his unsuspecting heart.

‘No one can ever know about this Pai…’ Neil said as his legs bounced anxiously while talking to him. ‘This is our secret to keep…’

‘But Neil… If that wasn’t your intention then why don’t you talk to her about it?’ Pai responds, his arms folded around his chest from the cold or from something else as he tries hard to see Neil’s eyes. Which had avoided his gaze ever since they hid themselves in their little corner of the world.

‘I’m trying to!’ He replied, his voice had risen in frustration. ‘But everytime I make an effort to do so she just runs the other way!’ Pai can sense Neil’s temper as he finally met his gaze. This was the first time Neil had looked Pai in the eyes and he felt immediate regret as all he could sense was judgement from him. Or rather, his guilt is making it look like so.

Pai fell silent as he could not find a way to help his friend. All he could do now was listen and take his emotions in like a sponge. It was all he could think of doing as he felt helpless when it came to taking action, but he knew all too well that he’d fare way better as a punching bag.

Neil sighs deeply as he turns away and leans on the metal rails. He reaches for his jacket pocket and pulls out a hard pack as he lights one up and blows smoke into the cold breeze. Pai was slowly getting unsettled with what he was witnessing. At first he felt honored that Neil and his friends have taken him in as one of their own, but right now he was seeing a completely different side of him. He had never seen Neil smoke a cigarette before nor did he thought that he was the type to do so, but there he was huffing and puffing clouds of toxic air into the wind as Pai started to feel alienated with what he was witnessing. In his mind he thought that it felt similar to that time when he saw a hermit crab change shells by the beach. It was unsettling but fascinating to see. He also started to feel curious about smoking. What it was and how it affected the people who use it. If somehow it has some mind altering capabilities that make the user cooler after they started using it. He always saw Neil as this cheerful opinionated person that can somehow make friends with everyone but seeing him in this dark, stressed out form made him think differently of Neil. It was making him look vulnerable and uncool in the eyes of Pai, but at the same time the way Neil was handling the uncoolness differently from how he would do it was making him look even more cooler than Pai initially thought. This conflicted him and he wanted to know why and how it was different from how he did things so he could ponder on how to improve himself and be a cooler version of his weak old self. Sadly Neil had to cut the moment short. He had enough of the silence that Pai was giving him even though he was seeing it from a different light. His own unease and guilt was clouding his thoughts and he was interpreting his fascinated gaze as a blank cold stare and it was piercing him in the chest.

He shook the frail rusty rails that separated them from the sheer drop to streets below and threw his half used cigarette on the metal grates, stepping at its embers to kill the heat as he stormed out of the fire exit door and into the neon colors of the hallway ahead. It was only at this moment when Pai realized what he had done and felt remorse for his silence as he rushed out to follow Neil back into the J&B. But as he swung the door open he was greeted with a terrified surprise as he came face to face with Tisha’s shocked expression.

…

‘Hey can I get a reload?’ Denzo’s blank expression was starting to aggravate Val’s mood as it was the seventh time he had asked her the question that evening. A few days prior to their scheduled trip to Jack and Barry's, Keeno had mentioned that Denzo needed to practice more for the tournament finals that she was going to organize in a month's time. But, since for some reason the “Parochial Offices” were closed, she had told him that he could use the “Attack 8” Machines at the J&B for free. But only for that weekend.

This wouldn’t be much of a problem had Yukino actually told Val in advance that this would be the case. But for some reason Keeno forgot, only being able to notify her after seeing Denzo and Val on the brink of a fight and her breaking it up and clearing the air. The original plan was that Keeno would wire ‘funds’ in advance into the system server to enable free games on Denzo’s game card. But since she had forgotten this step, Val is now forced to shell out the cash for Denzo’s games. Even though Keeno promised to reimburse, with interest, the money she would be losing due to Denzo that night. She still hates the fact that she was being forced to pay for a snotty little kid on their first day back from a long hiatus.

‘I hate this… oh so much…’ She whispered as she grinds her teeth watching Denzo walk away with another 3000 peso ($60) worth of game credits to spend on the machine.

‘But aren’t you getting the money back tho?’ J2 asked.

‘Yeah… in like two weeks. When Keeno visits again for the monthly thing.’

‘No not that…’ He replies. ‘I mean it’s your machine Val… Aren’t you just putting your cash in the system that you own? Like depositing it in an ATM or something?’

‘If I actually owned the system then we would be disgustingly rich wouldn’t we?’ She answers, now gritting her teeth at J2. ‘The thing feeds into a neutral account, and “then” we get our share. Which is why we have the monthly thing… you get it???’

J2 paused for a moment before getting a lightbulb as he replies: ‘Oh’

‘So we’re not going to get groceries this weekend?’

…

Pai had finally made his way back into their table at Tally Alley where Casper, Julian and Aida were already talking and laughing at their table full of empty tally mugs. They had just announced to Pai that they had already ordered their fourth round of drinks and were already looking half buzzed when he sat down with them in the booth. Although he can’t help but notice the absence of Keeno when he returned as he asked them where she had gone.

‘Oh Keeno had to run by the counter to stop a fight from breaking out. I think it was that hothead kid again, forgot his name tho.’ Julian said.

‘You mean Denzo?’ Pai inquired.

‘Umm yeah I think… the scruffy hair kid. He was getting into a shouting match with the staff until Keeno stepped in to clear the air.’ Julian answered. His speech was already getting slurred from the Tally.

‘I knoow righhtt?’ Casper chimes in. ‘We actually had bets ready but, ugh… bummer.’ He said as he slurped the final drops from his mug. His mind clearly already up in the clouds. Pai rolled his eyes but smiled seeing as his friends were actually having fun with his other friends. He was feeling a bit nervous at how the two would get along with the rest of the group but seeing them clicking with Aida was looking like a good start as Pai joins them timingly just as the waiter serves them their next round of drinks.

‘Oh shoot guys, guys!’ Aida peps up as her phone starts to ring on the table. She picks it up as the three boys look on a bit curiously at her sudden urgent tone. They listened and listened to her ooohs and ahhs with the occasional excited replies, but nonetheless no one else in the table was able to decipher the context of what the conversation was or who she was conversing with. Alas after a few minutes she finally set the phone down on the table as the three anticipated what the fuss was all about.

‘Ok so!’ Her eyes gleamed as she looked at them while the other three were looking back frozen at their seats, waiting. ‘Keeno had been gone a bit longer than she should cuz she had some biz she wanted to take care of…’

‘Okay??’ Julian replies hand on mug, ready for whatever toast she might be offering.

‘And… I must say she succeeded! And she’s now bringing another “VERY” elusive guest!’

‘No way?!’ Said Casper and Julian, both speaking in perfect unison.

‘Nica’s coming?’ Pai said with a smile as Aida sits back and nods with a wide grin on her face.

The whole table ended up clinking their glasses repeatedly, drowning themselves in laughter as they finished and ordered another round of Tally which Aida declared her treat, much to the delight of everyone in the booth. Although deep inside Pai can’t help but feel sorry about everything as he knows all too well there’s more to this than what Aida was trying to portray in these moments.

‘Woah what’s happening here?’ Pete said as he arrived with Tisha wrapped lovingly around his arms. Though Pai noticed a slight change in her expression as she grazed her gaze across him and Aida as she pushed Pete away and into Pai’s side of the booth while she hurriedly sat besides Aida and gives her a tight loving hug while pushing the Tally away from her grasp following up with: ‘Dibs on your drinks!’ As Tisha gulps down the poison halfway down before her throat had given up.

‘Hey I ordered that!’ Aida responds like a pouting child, crossing her arms after her Tally had been taken away from her.

‘You can have mine!’ Said Casper as he slides his drink over. An act that made Tisha’s eyes flare with the flames from the underworld as Aida snatches it up before Tisha could grab it. Giving her a dirty look as she says something under her breath towards Tisha, which made her calm down a notch.

‘Pai what’s happenin here? You guys seem to be having too much fun without us.’ Pete asked as he slaps Pai in the back with his gigantic palm, which almost made Pai spill his drink.

‘Oh yeah umm Keeno’s out but she's returning with Robbie in tow!’ Aida replies with glitter in her eyes as Pete responds in surprise.

‘Really now?’ Wow… Keeno really has a gift of gab… I’ll toast to that.’ Pete said as he waves over to order another round of drinks for everyone, including Keeno and Nica, who have yet to arrive.

Meanwhile from across the floor, Val was ordering a snack from the Tally’s to - go counter as she watches the kids from Keeno’s group having fun in their little corner of the establishment.

‘Enjoy it while it lasts kids… Those get rarer the older you get.’ She said with a sigh as a bittersweet smile escaped her lips. Her mind retreating back to her own memories as she looks over to the one kid who seemed to be missing it all.

…

Denzo exhales heavily after he has crossed the finish line. He had been driving in the game for almost four hours and his eyes were getting stingy from fatigue, but he remembers he still had some credits in his game card and felt it was a waste not to use it. Making up his mind to get another round of games under his belt before retiring to where Pai and his friends were at the Tally. But just as Denzo was about to put in another swipe from his card, he heard the class prez within an earshot of him as she walked to where he sat pulling someone behind her in tow.

‘Denzo!’ She shouts, trying to upstage the volume of the other game machines around them. ‘How long have you been there? Come!’ She said as she nods her head in a come hither expression, trying to get him go with her.

He hesitates for a moment but he gets a glimpse of Robbie waving him from behind. He sits back and grabs his card on the dash, pondering on whether or not to continue as Yukino comes around to his side urging him to come with them. He exhales, pauses and looks back at her before grabbing his card from the dash.

‘I thought you wanted me to practice?’ He said as he stood up from the machine.

‘Oh I’m not stopping you… but you still have time, besides this place is gonna be here for as long as we want it to exist.’ She said as they walked through the colorful halls of the J&B.

‘But this night…’ Keeno said as she tugs on Denzo’s shirt, pulling him closer. ‘Who knows when you’ll get good people like this together in the future?’

Denzo felt a sharp ping within the depths of his mind as he heard what she had to say. He never really thought about being with other people before. Nor did he find it fun or entertaining to be with anyone in anyplace. Afterall he barely even knew the group that Pai hung out with, nor did he think that he’d be at home within their company. But he does remember what Uncle Thor had said to him before he got transferred from his old school.

‘The world is fair at being hated by everyone. So if you hate everyone yourself, you're no better than the world that you’re trying to defeat…’

There was a period of silence between the three when Yukino opted to break the ice. Mostly due to her own discomfort with the tension around her.

‘So… You guys already know each other?’

‘W-what?’ Denzo stammers his reply, snapping out of his own silence. ‘Uh… Yeah we bumped into each other in the hospital after the raids.’

‘Hmm… Interesting… ‘ Yukino answered with an eyebrow raised in doubt. ‘Also do you know it’s forbidden to smoke inside the campus grounds?’

Denzo’s eyes flared wide as he turned his face towards Nica who was now cowering beside Yukino trying to use her as a shield.

‘You told her she could do what she wants, right?’ Yukino said with a sly smirk on her face. ‘I asked if Nica knew anyone in the group and it seems that she had more fun stories to tell of you than she has with Neil or Tisha.’

‘Well… just don’t suspend me for smoking…’

‘I won’t… take it as a first warning…’ She replies while she looks at Nica as her face turns beet red from being exposed to Denzo as a tattletale. The whole table turned their faces towards them as they arrived. The two girls almost leapt up from their seats to give Nica a warm welcoming hug, as it is the first time they had gotten her out anywhere. Tisha pushed Pete further inside the booth so that both Yukino and Nica could sit. And Aida unknowingly pulled Denzo’s arm to sit beside her. It is the first time anyone had ever been in a group like this in a long time. Besides the annual freshman initiation that Neil or Yukino holds for select students, this is the only time they had been able to hang out in the tally without any obligations to entertain or whatsoever. In Pai’s case this is the only time he’d experience being in a large group before. As he tries his best to smile and laugh naturally along with Pete and Aida’s banter, while trying not to shed a tear for finally feeling accepted. This is also the first time Julian and Casper had been inside Jack and Barry’s even though they were also invited in the freshman initiation as they had to cancel since they lived outside the city center. As for Denzo, his mind was still inside the game that he played, trying to wrestle his thoughts away from it as he awkwardly tried to fit in the group that he rarely spent time with. And as he looked at Nica from across the table, he can see she was struggling with the same feelings as well.

‘Hey Nica weren’t you invited too at the start of the school year?’ Yukino butts in.

They were talking about the fight that happened during that time and were contemplating if it was some early sign that the raids were starting. Yukino sensed that Nica was feeling off from the topic and decided to break their conversation.

‘Oh yes I was, but.. I was on a curfew that night so I had to leave early.’ She replied.

‘Oh I remember…’ Said Pete, as he munched on his pizza. ‘We didn’t get a chance to pull you here at the tally back then. But how bout now? You fine stayin up late?’

‘Well no, but I can stay a bit later… Keeno called my parents, promised she’ll give me a ride back and it was all it took.’ She said as Aida slaps the table in her tipsy state.

‘There we go! And all it took was your political powers! You should use it more often, you know?’ Aida said as she took another swig from her mug. Adding to Tisha’s dismay.

‘But I saw you leaving just after the fight happened. I can’t help but think you stayed for only a couple minutes.’ Said Pai, he himself was already starting to slur his words as he spoke.

‘Oh not at all we were organized in waves if remembered correctly…’

‘Oh yeah, It’s umm…’ Tisha paused as she caught herself from spilling any words that might hurt. ‘It’s an idea from… our group… yeah.’ She added nervously as she tried to navigate the minefield around her sentence. The others however, understood what it was, as everybody felt a ping of awkwardness in their chest.

‘Yup your group came last Pai, cuz we were waiting for these two but never showed.’ Aida said whilst pointing at Casper and Julian sitting beside her.

‘Well it’s… yeah fuck.... Julian said the message was sent but he didn’t double check.’

‘What?’ Said Julian who almost sprayed Casper with a face full of Tally.

‘Wait you guys were together that day?’ Tisha asked, leaning towards the two as she tries to dissect the both of them.

‘Yeah we always go home together since we’re the only people we know who lives down south.’ Casper replies.

‘Where south?’ Asked Tisha

‘Deep south…’ Casper replies with a cheeky smile.

‘Keeno can I borrow the fork for a sec?’

‘Nah-uhh no!’

‘Wait guys waaaaiiit!!!’ Aida slurly interjects, her face all red and jolly, as she tries to butt in to stop the playful fight about to happen.

‘Listen, the song… finally good music....’

‘Aida how old are you really?’ Pete jokingly asked. ‘Don’t tell me you’re secretly a senior?’

‘FUCK YOU PETE!’ She shouts before swiftly swinging back into a happier state, swaying her shoulders to the beat.

‘Woa-oh here she comes…’ She sings the lyrics along with the opening riff as the other girls pick up on the song. Soon the girls were all bobbing their heads to the beat as the guys looked at each other with question marks on their heads. None of the girls knew the words in the verse but they all sang their hearts out when the chorus came to beat, pointing their fingers towards the guys as if they were mocking them.

‘Woa-oh here she comes...watch out boy she'll chew you up…

‘Woa-oh here she comes… she’s a man ea--’ ‘THOT!’

‘Both of you guys fuck you, really fuck you!’

Both Pete and Denzo knew what the song was and for a moment, shared eye contact right before the chorus hit. They knew what to do and were now joyfully reveling in the wrath from the girls beside them as they reached out for a bro fist from across the table. All while getting severely hit by the girls, taking in the pain as a trophy for their success.

As they got along, the night for the J&B got busier as more patrons from other schools started to fill up the games and tables around the Tally Alley. Even so as the hours rolled past, they were able to keep their record as the noisiest table in the whole arcade. But despite the chaos Val did not complain and J2 shared her thoughts as they both stole glances towards them throughout the night. For they both know all too well how beautiful these days were as they both sat back in their own little nook behind the counter. Offering their mugs up for a toast as they share a moment of nostalgia over a cup of coffee.

…

The clock had just ticked seven as Neil got home in time for dinner. He stopped by a dark alleyway beforehand to spray himself with cologne to hide the scent of cigarette smoke from his uniform. Wendy, his older sister, had greeted him as he entered telling him dinner had just been served in the back as he passed by her with a nod. His head he kept to the ground as he continued round the back hall and up the stairs to his room.

Wendy followed him as she sensed there was something wrong with Neil tonight, as she sought to try and help him with whatever the matter was. And as she had guessed it, it was girl trouble once again. It wasn’t the first time she had encountered this from him and she certainly knew it would not be the last. But this time it dawned on her that it might be more serious than she had anticipated. Neil brushes her off and tells her he needs a moment before dinner, something he would never do as he would always welcome her advice when it comes to those matters.

Realizing it might not be the time, she obliged and left him to his own devices. Only appearing later looking as if everything was fine once again. She had an inkling of a doubt as she watched him eat his supper, but denied all thoughts feeling like she might be overthinking things.

A little over an hour later, he finished his food and went back upstairs, but not without stopping by the storage to get some tools out of the maintenance locker. He closes the door behind him and goes straight for his closet. He looks down at something and contemplates on it.

It didn’t take long before he made up his mind to reach down to pull it out of the closet. He figured that he might as well fix it as he whispered indistinguishable somethings under his breath.