“You’re not tripping,”

Thank you for your input, and screw you.

“So does that mean that I’m just misinterpreting things?” That was surely the case. No doubts about it.

“I’m afraid that isn’t the case, Jeffrey,”

That-That isn’t the case?

“I’m afraid so,”

“Hehe, Laffer, why are you so insistent on lying to me?”

He gives me a strange look, “Are you… Are you actually hallucinating right now?”

Wow, what a prick. I say something he doesn’t agree with so now I’m on a mental trip. If so, then why didn’t you say earlier? Do you find my malaise funny?! Hah?!

I’m wholly prepared to start throwing hands at this moment and with my recent advancement, I’m sure I can get a hit or two in there.

“Let’s go!” Getting into a loose combat stance, I’m raring to have a go.

“Are you actually dumb?” He slaps a palm against his face, “We still have an enemy right here!”

“Nah nah! Screw you man!” I carp on, “Fight me!”

“Sigh, if you want the smoke that bad then you can have it!”

“Nah, I refuse,” I raise a placating hand, “I was just joking, don’t know why you're so insistent though,”

At his affirmative response, I cool off. I hate to admit it, but I still probably couldn’t even scratch him. I was just yelling to boost my ego a bit.

As well as to irk Laffer.

“Pft!”

Just seeing his bulging veins cracks me up.

“Your humour is sick,” He spits derivatively, but that was merely a feeble comeback.

My humour is most certainly in line with the majority gathered. I swear, even the brick man stifled back a chortle. Therefore, going by general consensus, my humour was in fact, in good nature and not sick.

“I actually hate you,” He grinds out. Very much to my amusement.

Now ignoring that, let’s get back to the task at hand.

Examining the brick man once more, I can find that he has not moved a single inch from his place. And I don’t think he will be moving anytime soon.

“Alright, you guys can handle this, I’m going back to sleep,” Thus, I promptly washed my hands off of this task and walked back through the hole I came out from.

“Hey hey! Don’t leave!” I dodge the hand extended toward me, “Think about the ramifications of this incident!”

I ignore him.

Walking through the threshold, the dead bodies and shiny blood are the first things I see. On a normal day, I would help out, but not now. I’m going to bed and nothing is stopping me! Not even the copious amounts of blood on my tunic.

Ten minutes pass and I’m still not in bed.

Hmm? You’re asking why I’m still not sleeping?

Okay, so about nothing stopping me… I lied.

Hey! Don’t judge me, we all make mistakes.

“Have a sip. Nice and slowly,” I nudge my water canteen against Lazari’s face.

She takes a sip.

I’m not too sure why, but she was crying a minute ago and I remember being given water whenever I cried.

“Are you okay now?” I whisper in a soft voice. But my fatherly impression is wholly ruined by the supreme flatness of my tone.

She nods. Her vacant expression very untelling of her true feelings.

I’m not sure whether I made the situation better or worse, but I can safely say she stopped crying. Because, well, she stopped crying… Hey, I'm no star struck therapist, so I don't know why yall are expecting so much from me!

I better be praised for this, you sick bastards.

Having a girl cry then making me deal with it? How cruel.

I’m profoundly bad at dealing with crying children y’know?!

“She’s your responsibility y’know? Plus, this is karma, you shouldn’t leave her all by herself like that,”

I know, I just want to rant. Couldn’t you have at least entertained me?

His blasé countenance is all the answer he gives. Not that I expected anything proper.

I take her hand and tuck her back in bed.

Good, now I can finally go to bed.

“How come you never treat me like that?” Lily whines.

“Hush birb, I’m sleeping,”

…

“You okay?”

It's morning now, and for the record, I am not okay. Frankly, I’m rather uncomfortable with that brick dream. Sigh, I need to find some stronger leaf juice.

Anyway, on the topic of bricks, “Did you beat the brick man yet?”

“Yesn’t,” Laffer confidently announces.

“So he’s still out there?” I confirm.

“Nah,”

“Wait what?” You managed to lose a man who is the legitimate epitome of a brick?

“No! That wasn’t what happened,” He tries to defend his pride, “We tossed him down a well,”

“Oh,” That was rather… underwhelming let's say.

“Hey it wasn’t like we were out of options or anything! It was just the easiest way to dispose of him, plus it was new guy’s idea, alright?”

Hmm, that seems like an excuse if I’ve ever heard of one. It wouldn’t be the first I’ve seen a superior make a subordinate take the blame, but the job was still completed so I halt my wave of vilification.

Laffer still tries to excuse himself, but fails… miserably, “I mean, we were thinking of dropping that divine brick on him, but, y’know… he has rather high thorns…”

Mhmm, very nice reasoning.

I pass some toast to Lazari, making sure she gets her share, because, apparently, she was my responsibility now.

“Ay man, I told you to stop doubting her didn’t I?”

You did, but I’m not doubting her, “I’m annoyed that you were the one that told me that,”

“Wow, I give a man some advice and this is the thanks I get?”

You should be proud I even acknowledged your sentiments.

“Also, Jeff, we gotta move so don’t go out,”

“Huh?” Isn’t that a bit sudden?

“You retard,” He shakes his head, “We’ve been compromised so of course we’re moving!”

“Oh yeah,”

“Sigh, I swear, you’re stupidity knows no bounds,”

Tsk, you know what? Screw you! I’m leaving, come now children.

Bringing Lazari with me, I plan to idle in the city square as I’ve done many a time before.

“Wait, don’t leave me with this brute!”

Hmm, I don’t remember accepting responsibility for this errant bird, though seeing Laffer’s face visibly scrunch up probably just made my day.

…

A fort stands tall. It’s warded brick stronger than any mortal material. However, its imposing majesty is smattered with the lifeblood of its proud sentinels, a marr on its grandeur. Though even when in the hands of the enemy, its pride shines unhindered.

A monument of the heretics.

The souls of its sentinels linger still fighting a ceaseless war against their new inhabitants. The heretics have finally done it. Their dead men are marching again.