"I was wondering what took you so long," Laffer has his arms crossed, "You nearly made the lass cry,"

I look to Lazari and she indeed looked like she was about to cry. I could see a faint redness in her eyes that struggles to hold back a torrent of tears.

Laffer smacks me on the back of the head.

“Be more responsible!”

Now I feel kind of bad for leaving her by herself for so long. But granted, I never claimed I was ever a responsible adult…

Nonetheless! I've done it. I got the brick!

"So you tellin' me, you done all that random junk and fought some blood cultists over a brick?"

"Well, yes,"

That was indeed the case, so I didn't see a need for the man to reiterate the story.

"Are you kidding me?"

"I guess, you are correct, it may not have been in our best interests to assault the blood cult like that," I admit, "However, this brick, feel it. It's something different,"

"There's no problem with offending the blood cult in fact, that's some pretty good information you gave us," He murmurs, "To think they set up shoppe in our territory, they must be lookin' for a beating,"

"And holy crap, what the heck is this brick?" His eyes widen as he tries to examine the brick, though, after a couple seconds, he gives up.

"So, is there really no problem with assaulting the blood cult?" I ask, "I thought, all the cults were like, in it together, y'know. Being allied to fight against the world or somethin',"

"Jeffrey, my boy, it looks like you have made a grave misunderstanding about us, and our doctrines"

Really? How so? I feel as I'm always somehow misunderstanding them and that stupid doctrine of theirs. Sometimes, I feel as if the vague wording of their credo is such that they can twist the meaning when they ever feel so inclined to.

"You see, although people call us the ‘heretic cult,' we aren't really a 'cult',"

"Meaning?"

"Okay, what do you think constitutes a cult?"

"I dunno man, worshipping evil gods or somethin',"

"Exactly, evil gods," Laffer grips my shoulders, "Gods, Jeffrey, gods! They worship gods!"

The man starts shouting like he's possessed as he shakes me. I really want to get out of his grip, but he's got me clamped in a vice, as I feel my shoulders creak under the pressure.

I swear I'll get you back for this!

"And do you know what we don't like here?!"

"Bread?"

"Br- No, GODS!!"

He finally lets go of my shoulders as he flings his hands in the air in a grandiose display.

Hmm, with moves like those, you could probably get a nice career in theatrics in the capital. I muse while rubbing my shoulders.

But wait, I feel like he let something important slip.

"Mkay, so does that mean that not only are we, the dark arts cult an enemy of all the orthodox states, but also an enemy of the unorthodox ones?"

"Sounds about right," He recovers back to his usual demeanour as if he wasn't going ballistic a second ago.

"So let me get this straight, we, the heretic cult, are enemies of the entire, undivided realm essentially,"

"We aren’t a cult, but aside from that you are absolutely correct my friend,"

AHHRHHHH! I'm internally screaming, but I keep a stern countenance. Many years of dealing with infuriating shrews and self engrossed pricks have bestowed me such a skill.

How the hell has this cult survived for so long? And why am I part of these deranged nutters?!

"We aren't a cult,"

I don't care about the details! I'm just asking how you guys aren't eradicated yet!

"Hah, that is because dying is for cowards, and we are not cowards," He mimics an empire accent.

That makes no sense! I've seen tons of brave people who've died!

"Being brave does not mean they aren't cowards,"

You know what? This tangent has gone on for long enough.

"Let's just go get me the win already,"

"Hah, you're counting your breads too early,"

I don't think that's how that phrase goes but I approve.

We like bread here.

"That, we do,"

…

"Mhmm, mhmm," Lacer inspects the items we requisitioned from the auction. Well, mainly Laffer's items, as I only got a brick and some money.

Though Laffer's haul was also nothing to scoff at, talismans, edicts, enchantment scrolls, crystal matrices, the lot. They were all surprisingly good things.

Which reminds me. In this realm, all items have a quality to them. The qualities that an item would usually be rated are Subpar → Standard → Rare → Unique → Epic → Legendary → Exotic→ Mythic → Deity. Diety being the greatest of items crafted by the gods themselves.

"Very close, but comrade Jeffrey wins,"

"Damnit! How?!"

From the loot Laffer brought back, it's mostly of the rare to unique grades which is not to say that it was a bad haul. In fact, it was probably worth a couple of small fortunes. But the brick had some secrets of its own. Not to mention its density of various unidentified essences, just having a touch of divine essence which really just pushes it up a couple grades. Possibly even making it a Legendary, perhaps even an Exotic graded brick!

"Don't act surprised mate, you knew you lost when I got the brick,"

"I'm aware, but that doesn't make me any less mad,"

"So you're gonna whine wike a wittle baby?"

"Say that again and I'll bust your head in," He leaks a bit of his presence as I sense a faint killing intent.

Yikes. Sometimes, I forget that all the people here are all godsdamned psychos.

"Ay ay, think about the children, man," I gesture toward the only child in the room.

He lets it go. After all, although he was quite serious about his aura, the threat itself was nothing more than common banter…

At least, I think it was banter.

Okay, now I'm second guessing that judgment.

Moving on!

"So what's special about the brick anyway?"

"Wait, you got the brick without knowing?"

"I mean, yeah,"

Laffer gives a meaningful look. And by that, his face looks badly constipated, like he's trying very hard to hold something in.

"If you need to go the bathroom, there's no need to hold back for my sake,"

He's speechless, and his face grows more constipated. And the sense of an impending danger looms.

Okay, I'm gonna stop now.

"So anyways, the brick?" I turn to Lacer.

"Ah, yes, the brick, it is a fine specimen, it's made of a rare material. A bunch of miscellaneous essences, but it also contains some essence of the gods,"

Wait, gods? Well, not that I didn't expect that, but I more so expected Lacer to go spastic at the presence of the essence of the gods. So seeing him so calm as he says that really throws me off.

"Yes, gods,"

"Don't we hate the gods here,"

"We do,"

"Then is this brick about to be destroyed or something?"

"Why would we waste a perfectly good brick?"

What? I thought these guys hated the gods down to their bones, so why would they want to keep a brick of the gods here? Aren't they even going to try and pretend that they stick to their doctrines?

"You have misunderstood our doctrines again, comrade Jeffrey,"

"Are you sure you're not just making them up as you go?" At this point, I'm certain of this point. The consistency has been all over the place and now they aren't even trying to mask the fickleness of their doctrines.

"We are very sure, nonetheless, even though we despise the gods, that doesn't mean we won't use their materials,"

"That doesn't seem right. Because, if you think about it, if you use the effects of your opponents then isn't it like admitting they're better than you?" What's even the purpose of going against them at that point? It would just be a futile resistance.

"You are too prideful, comrade. You must learn to put down any notion of superiority, or inferiority and use everything at your disposal, even if you despise it,

"As our forebears had once said and done, 'To defeat the lizards, we used the power of the lizards,' and likewise to contend against the acolytes of the gods, we will use their own power,"

I'm flabbergasted. I'm speechless.

That was a horrible proverb to follow. What kind of power did the lizards even have? But more importantly, the acolytes would most certainly be more adept at using this power than you would, so using it would only backfire on us.

"History says otherwise, our forebears have defeated many a foe using their own specialised powers against them,"

What is with this backward logic?!

"There is no such thing as backward logic, only backward people,"

Are you basically calling the rest of the world stupid?

"Yes, have you not seen the level of science here?"

Science? Is it that unique empire magic?

"Exactly like I thought,"

What? What does that even mean?

I-I can't be bothered dealing with this anymore. Thi-This is too much thinking. I nurse my head, feeling a headache stir, as it meshes my thoughts together. Urg, it might be backlash from that mind trap earlier.

"I-I'll be sleeping,"

"Oh, then have a good nap,"

Laffer waves me off with a grin.

I swear to the gods I'll stab you if you screw with my naptime.