It’s yet another morning. Funny how’s it’s only mid-September, and I’m already sick of school.

I’m a bit crankier today than my usual chipper self because today is the day that my Aunt Kierstyn is moving away. Last week, she got a call that she was needed somewhere else in the state, and she’s had to get up and leave in a hurry. It’s all rather sudden, so I haven’t had much time to try and process my emotions on this. I’m going to go see her once more before she leaves after school today, but I’m still rather down about it all.

But still, I show up at school and walk into our usual practice room. Neither Ashley nor Zoe are there, what are they up to? Nova is there, but unusually, he has a copy of To Kill a Mockingbird out and open and is looking down at it with a forlorn expression.

“Good morning, my fine fellow,” I say to him. “Doing homework?”

“Uh… no, not really.”

I sit down across from him. “Reading To Kill a Mockingbird for leisure, then?”

“…No. I’m supposed to be doing a reading log of this, but… problem is, I haven’t finished the book yet.”

“Oh. That is a problem.”

“Yep.”

“Well, that’s what SparkNotes is for, bud.”

He starts drumming his fingers on the table, as he sometimes does when he’s thinking. “The problem is, I kinda want to actually finish the book. It’s actually pretty good, and I’m trying to not slack off on this stuff as much.”

“Well, when’s the reading log due?”

“Tomorrow.”

“Oh. Uh, if you’re a fast reader, maybe you can burn through it during your other classes.”

He stops drumming, and instead starts feeling the spine of the book, looking at it intensely. “Maybe I can read some of it like that, but it’s so hard to focus in class when everyone is talking. Plus, some teachers get mad if you do that.” He sighs at his book. “But then, when I get home, I’ll probably just procrastinate it more, since that’s where my computer and games and stuff are. Too many things which are more fun to do.”

I ponder this for a moment, and then an odd idea springs into my mind. “That gives me an idea, actually. There’s an audio book for TKaM, right? Maybe you can listen to that while playing a video game on mute. It needs to be something just stimulating enough to make you sit still and pay attention, but not stimulating enough to make you stop listening to the book. So maybe like, a game you’ve already beat before, or like an RPG. I dunno, something relatively mindless.”

Nova goes still for a bit, staring into space. “Damn,” he says. “That might work. I’ll try that.”

“Tell me how it goes, man,” I reply, pleased that he liked my idea. “And if all else fails, ring me up and I could probably find my reading log from last year.”

“Nah. If I get all the answers wrong, I want it to be on my own terms.”

I frown at him. “Excuse me? What is that supposed to mean?”

After school that day, Ashley and I huddle together on her bed to do an English assignment. Specifically, the reading log for To Kill a Mockingbird. We both lay on our fronts with the reading logs in front of us, mirroring each other.

“Okay… protagonist. Scout Finch," Ashley is rattling off. "Though come to think of it, she really doesn’t do much… Shouldn’t Atticus be the protagonist, in a sense? Imagine that. A story that’s from the perspective of a young girl, but her parents are more important to the wider, overarching plot than she is. Anyways, antagonist. Bob Ewell."

We both write that down onto our respective papers.

“Well, that’s the easy part,” she says. “Alright, you think you can do the next one?”

I look down at the paper. The next thing we have to fill out is setting.

“Um… somewhere in the south.”

I look at Ashley, who just silently stares back at me.

“I’m sorry… I’m so tired, I can hardly think,” I admit to her.

“Understandable. All of the drama… constant schoolwork… and marching band. It wears you down,” she says. “Actually… can I ask you a personal question?”

“What is that?”

“What motivates you to do your schoolwork? Why do you keep at it?”

“Well, I really value getting my education,” I reply without thinking. “I try to be diligent in my schoolwork so that I can learn as much as I can.

“Hmm. That’s a pretty good reason, I suppose.”

“What about you?”

“Honestly, Zoe? I don’t really have a good reason at all. The only real reason I work so hard at school is because I just like seeing my numbers go as high as possible. It’s one of the few ways that I can prove my status.”

She lets out a large sigh. “And I guess I sort apply that to band as well. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I do really love music. And it’s when I feel that love of music that I have my best practice sessions. But then, there are other days where I only think about getting ahead at the next audition. Those are the ones in which practicing only fills me with frustration and hatred. Then again, I suppose that’s just how I spend most of my life…”

“What do you mean?” I ask, startled by this proclamation. “Hatred of what?”

“I don’t know. Myself. My life. The world around me. Does it matter?”

She puts down her pencil and sits up. “It’s stupid… to only want to succeed to rub it in other people’s faces. I wish I could do what I do just because I love learning or whatever…”

I feel a little guilty, so I decide to spill the beans. “Well… if I’m honest, that’s not really why I do schoolwork either. When I really think about it… I do it because I’m afraid. I’m always amazed when I hear about the nightmares that you have, and how it’s always about alien invasions, or wars, or big things like that. My nightmares are always so simple. They’re always about me failing a test… not getting good enough grades… disappointing my family in some way or another.”

“Wow, they really screwed you up,” Ashley comments.

“I wasn’t trying to lie to you. It’s just… I’m never supposed to talk about stuff like this. So I’ve sort of… trained myself to give answers like that when people ask me. Most people are happy with me just saying that I love learning, you know?”

“Well Zoe, I don’t want you to have to feel the need to hide who you are anymore. I mean… you’ve already ripped off the bandage, so to speak. Maybe sometime… we should go on a date together, and just talk. Just the two of us. No need to be afraid of anything.”

I can’t help but to blush a little bit. Which is stupid, because we literally already live together. “A date… I think I would like that. Where do you want to go?”

“I don’t know. Try and think of a good place. And I don’t mean tonight, we really need to finish this. But… whenever we can. Anyways, setting: Maycomb, Alabama, the 1930s…”

After band is over, I drive up to my Aunt Kierstyn’s place, for the last time. It looks like I got there in the nick of time- the moving truck has left already, and she’s packing the last few boxes into her car as I pull into the driveway.

I walk up to her as she is closing the trunk. “Hi there, Aunt Kierstyn…” I say.

“Oh, hey Anja.”

“I wanted to come and see you one more time before you left.”

“Yes, I will be leaving in a matter of moments, I nearly have everything packed up now.” She kneels down a little bit to be on my height and smiles at me. “You look really sad- don’t be so down, Anja. I’m not going far, I promise.”

“Yes, well, I’ll still miss you. I always enjoy it when I’m able to come over.”

“Well, I’m glad that there’s at least one person in the world who likes seeing me. You take care of yourself while I’m gone, okay?”

“I’ll try.”

She opens her arms to me, and I walk into them and give her a big hug, which she returns.

“And Anja… remember a while back? When we discussed a certain something?” she asks me after we finally break apart.

“Oh, do you mean the Met-“

“Yes, don’t say it out here please. I just wanted to tell you… I don’t know what that friend of yours might be doing, but please, for your own good, do not fuck around with any of that stuff. Can you promise me that, Anja?”

I gulp. Hopefully she didn’t hear. “Okay. I promise,” I lie.

We say our final goodbyes, and then I have to watch her drive away. I take a moment before I drive back home to wipe away my tears.

I know she’s not my mom. I know I can never replace her. But it was something, to have my mom’s sister around. And now that she’s gone, I feel so… alone.

The next day...

‘Sup fools. It’s Collin. You may remember me from narrating that one scene in the church. You know the one.

So, you know how parents lie to their kids a lot? Everyone has stories about how they waited in the living room on Christmas Day for Santa Claus to show up, only to see that “Santa” is actually just your dad. The best part about that whole charade is the whole milk and cookies thing. Like, they literally just make up this whole thing so that they have an excuse to give themselves cookies in the middle of the night.

Also, a lot of parents don’t want to tell their kids that their pets are dead, so they’ll say that the pet ran away to a “butterfly farm” or some shit like that. I know this because my parents actually tried to pull that on me when our old dog, Toby, passed away.

Oh, it’s okay Collin, Toby isn’t dead, he’s just on the butterfly farm, endlessly frolicking and enjoying life forever. You could at least tell me that he’s in Doggy Heaven or wherever. I’m not sure how accurate that is, because I don’t think the Bible explicitly says that animals go to heaven. But it’d at least be closer to the truth.

The punchline is that they’re doing it again. But instead of doing it with a pet, they’re doing it with MY SISTER!

You see, the reason why my parents say stuff like this is because they’re just trying to hide what really happened from me. And this time, I think it’s a lot more damning. And I don’t just mean because they’re trying to pull it with a human. I mean, at least when Toby died, that wasn’t really my parents’ fault. You see where I’m going with this?

Because nobody talks about it. Nobody wants to discuss the rather horrifying scene Derrick and I had to endure a week ago! Whenever I ask a question like, “Is she coming home soon” or “Do we need to move her stuff to the other house,” they just get angry and don’t give a straight answer. So it’s basically the equivalent of the “butterfly farm” thing.

Oh, it’s okay Collin, we didn’t massively fuck up. Zoe’s just on the butterfly farm. Well, I guess in this case, at least she’s not actually dead. YET! …No, that was a joke, I don’t think she’s gonna die anytime soon.

And so I’ve found myself getting dragged along in this… cover-up operation. Basically, my parents are trying to use their connections to somehow spin this in their favor. So that’s why we’re at the local courthouse today… probably.

“Why do Mom and Dad have to drag us along for their boring business shit,” I complain to Derrick in the hallway.

“Dude, shut up!” he responds to me angrily. “If that dude hears you swearing, it could ruin whatever deal they’re doing!”

Yeah, he’s really fun at parties. Actually, what the hell are they doing here, exactly? What’s this Pavia guy gonna do to help them? I decide to listen at the door.

“Why did you come to me, then?” The Justice guy is saying. “All kidnapping cases should be reported to the police, first and foremost.”

“Oh, don’t play dumb!” Mom snipes at him. “You know why we’re here. We need to know if we can count on you to take our side.”

He guffaws at them. “Oh, please. Don’t think that you can sway me by dangling cash in front of my face. I make my decisions based on the higher principles of law and order!”

“And by that you mean, you think you can win re-election just by being the incumbent!” Dad counters.

“I don’t need the help of people like you, Parker. I’ve served this locality for decades now.”

“You are truly an arrogant man!” Mom hisses at him. “Don’t be certain about your position. I’ve caught wind of a shadow campaign brewing against you. Something about denying a mother the chance to care for her own child… hmm, I wonder how a second count of that would speed things up!”

The Justice sighs heavily. “Already? That foolish woman…”

“Yeah. Uh-huh. You don’t even deny it!” Mom presses him.

“Um… honey, please don’t give away too much classified information,” Dad cautions Mom.

And then there’s a little more of my parents bitching at him and they get all pissy and they storm out and wow, that backfired on them. I thought that this guy was pretty much totally in their pocket, but it seems that he’s grown a backbone recently and is now actually gonna do his job. Good on him.

And I mean, I’m not even sure why this would go to court. I guess maybe Ashley’s parents could make some sort of case because my folks are neglecting their child, or maybe her parents will try to get legal custody of Zoe and they don’t want that even though they aren’t really making any attempt to get her back so I don’t know what their plan is. Anyways, clearly my parents were worried about something happening in the courts.

And dude, this is just stupid beyond belief. At least when Nixon fucked up, sure he tried to cover it up at first but eventually he resigned when he was caught in the act, sparing us from having to go through a lengthy and ugly Senate trial. But no, we’re dragging this out all the way, it looks like.

It’s time for another Skype lesson with Sarah today.

“Hello there, Ashley!” she greets me cheerily, as the video comes up on my laptop.

I’ve probably never mentioned it, but… Sarah is totally gorgeous. I always felt a little flustered being around her back when we did our lessons in person. I always tell people that she’s like my “cool aunt,” but thankfully she’s not like, actually literally my aunt or else being this attracted to her would be weird. I guess I just really like blondes…

“Hey. What’s on the menu this week?” I ask.

However, she tilts her head sideways at me and says, “You seem troubled.”

“Yeah, well, a lot has been going on with me recently,” I explain.

“Want to talk about anything? You know, we don’t always have to be strictly professional. If you ever need help with any personal issues, I’m here for you. Don’t tell my other students I said that, though…”

I think about this for a second. I don’t know, it still seems inappropriate to talk about stuff like that with her. And how would Sarah even react to me being a gay, anyway? Actually… maybe I can take this opportunity to ask her something I’ve always wondered.

Sarah has never married, nor even been in any sort of relationship as far as I can remember. It’s a little unusual for someone her age. I always kind of wondered if she might be a lesbian herself. I know that in the old days, most people who were gay would either pose as straight or would simply not marry.

“Well… can I ask you something?” I say.

“Sure thing!”

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but… why have you never gotten married?”

She chuckles a little. “Oh, I suppose I just haven’t met the right person yet.” She says that last part really sarcastically.

“You mean… you’ve never met someone you liked enough before?”

“Don’t get me wrong. I’ve met many great people in my life, whom I consider friends. But… I’ve always kind of felt like I’m not really the marrying type.”

She doesn’t really elaborate on that, but I’d like to get to the bottom of this now.

“But in our culture, there is a heavy pressure put on people to get married- especially women. Do you ever feel any shame that you’re defying that?” I ask.

“I wouldn’t say I feel shame about it… but it is aggravating. I won’t deny that I am very… sought after by men. It’s a chore to have to constantly turn people down. I’ve had to get really good at noticing when people are trying to flirt so I can put a stop to it quickly.”

“Is it just men? Do you ever get hit on by other women?”

She giggles at this. “Occasionally. More so recently, given how the times are changing. Are you bringing this up because you’re trying to figure out if I’m also a lesbian?”

Also, she said. She already knows.

“Well… I was curious. So you’ve figured me out, huh?

“I do maintain regular contact with your dad, so I know more or less what’s happening.”

“Ah, okay. Thanks for mentioning that earlier.”

“Sorry. I didn’t want to bring it up if you weren’t willing to talk about it. And so that we can quit dancing around this question- I’m not a lesbian. You’re not the first person to ask me that, you know. I just am not really interested in dating in general.”

“So, do you think you might be asexual?”

She gives me a perplexed look. “A sexual what???”

“No, ‘asexual’ as one word. It means you’re not attracted to people of any gender.”

“I’ve never heard that word used before, except in science class. What are you kids going to come up with next?”

“Oh, you don’t know the half of it. Trust me.”

She laughs at this. “Okay Ashley, I’ll take your word for it.”

“Actually, that reminds me,” I add, realizing something. “If you’re not interested in dating, the actual term for that is ‘aromantic.’ ‘Asexual’ is specifically not being interested in sex. And so, being interested in neither would make you ‘asexual aromantic.’”

“Whatever you say, Ashley. Anyways… anything else you want to ask me?”

“Nope. Let’s get to the music now.”