《The Eightfold Fist》36. The Microwave III - "The Krambambula"
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Season 1, Episode 4 - The Microwave III - "The Krambambula"
Sweating bullets and needing further answers, Lynn called up the street-smartest kid she knew.
“Aw, darn it, Reed!” Lynn placed the phone back into receiver when nobody picked up at Reed’s apartment. Sweating even more, Lynn called the most trustworthy guy she knew.
“Aw, darn it, Reed!” Lynn exclaimed into the phone when that dull voice answered from Isaac’s phone.
Lynn blinked and relaxed. “Wait, Reed! It’s you!”
“Yeah.”
“What are you up to right now?” Lynn curled the phone cord around her finger.
“Nothing much. Watching television at Isaac’s while he looks for a VHS tape at Audrey’s. You really oughta come here some time. Isaac’s got one of those Asiatic televisions. It’s in black and white, but it still looks better than reality.”
“Definitely!” Lynn blinked. “Wait, Reed! I need your help, urgently!”
“Can it wait? They’re playing Poliziotto a Sei Camere, Uomo Dai Due Pugni right now, and the Chief Inspector wants the cowboy cop's badge on his desk-“
“I’m sorry Reed, but I really need your help with this. It’s about Mackenzie!”
“Ah, my favorite leader of the popular clique. What about her?”
“I broke her – I mean, I was housesitting, and the microwave burst into flames on its own after I threw a watering can at it.”
“Relatable. I’m guessing you don’t want her to find out you broke it.”
Lynn shook her head, then remembered she was on the phone and said no.
“Understandable," Reed supposed. "Did you know I had to replace Isaac’s coffee table once? Had to replicate a Burger Pal Ribs Sandwich stain, and let me tell you, that was not the easiest thing in the world, especially considering the Ribs Sandwiches were out of season.”
“Um…ok?”
“I’m saying you oughta replace it with an identical one.”
“But Reed…it’s a New York Minute!”
Reed remained quiet for a moment. “She has a New York Minute? Hell, I could blackmail her about that-“
“Reed! Don’t tell her I told you!”
“Alright, fair enough.” Reed thought about it for a moment. “New York Minutes are hard to get nowadays. Ever since the Hayman smuggling ring was busted, anything from New York is tough to find. It’s all small dealers now, limited in size, and prices are skyrocketing. If I was you, I’d get one as soon as possible.”
“Where can I get one?!”
Reed sighed. “I know one source, but you’re not gonna like it.”
“Tell me.”
“Babs Moran.”
“Babs Moran?”
“Babs Moran.”
Babs Moran. Legendary in West Narragansett for her overwhelming beauty, fiery red hair, and leadership of a local youth bike gang. Even though she was just a Class 1, Babs was widely feared for kicking the butt of anyone who came across her, whether they deserved it or not.
Babs and Lynn were on opposite sides of cynicism vs idealism, being a jerk vs being someone decently nice. Truth be told, Lynn didn’t like it. But she owed it to Mackenzie.
Lynn gulped and steeled herself. “Where can I find her?”
“She and her gang usually hang out at Revere Arcade out near Manabi Station. Tell the girl at the Skeeball you’re interested in overclocking. She’ll understand.”
Lynn wrote it down. “Got it, thanks!”
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“And Lynn, be careful out there. Babs runs the underworld of Manabi like her own little kingdom of anarchist bikers. Watch out.”
Lynn felt her heart race with every word of concern out of Reed’s delicate little mouth.
“I’ll be careful. Thanks, Reed!”
Isaac stepped in front of Audrey’s door. That morning, Audrey told him to come by around nightfall, and judging from his view of the sunset from the apartment walkway, there was still about a half hour left in the day. Isaac had to smile, remembering how excited Audrey looked when she talked about the surprise.
Isaac wondered what the surprise could be. No offense to Audrey, but her surprises aren't exactly thrillers, Isaac supposed. A good surprise to me would be “look at this working television I found in the garbage!” Now that’s a good surprise. Audrey’s surprises are more like “look at this bunch of sunflowers I found!” or “doesn’t this rock look like Texas!”
Isaac exhaled, slightly amused. Maybe those aren't terrible surprises after all. They seemed to make Audrey happy, at least, and isn’t that what matters?
Still though, surprise or no surprise, Isaac had a VHS tape to find and he wasn’t going to wait around. Due to continually losing her keys, Audrey always kept her door unlocked – even while she was at school, something that always made Isaac wonder.
Isaac didn’t knock, instead going straight for the door handle like usual. “Hey Audrey, hope I’m not ruining the surprise-”
When he stepped inside, Isaac realized that things were slightly off. There was a girl in Audrey’s studio apartment, all right, but she wasn’t Audrey. This girl was taller, leaner, with long black hair to her shoulders. She was watering a plant, which was odd because Audrey, despite her powers being plant-based, didn’t own any plants because she’d always forget to take care of them.
But the main difference between this girl and Audrey could be found on their faces. Audrey always smiled wide, full of life and positivity; it was only in moments of extreme duress did that smile go away. In contrast, the tall girl’s face, despite looking similar to Audrey’s, expressed a gentle sadness, a quiet, forlorn look.
The girl noticed Isaac had entered and set the watering can down gently. That’s when Isaac remembered.
“Esther,” he greeted, remembering how she encouraged him in his own way in the fight against Alfie.
“Isaac,” Esther greeted politely, formally.
Isaac rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “I should’ve came and saw you after that fight to make sure you were alright, but I guess I just got caught up in things.”
Esther shook her head. “Don’t worry. I just got some bruises. You were the one who passed out. If anything, I should have come to you, but...”
Esther looked sheepish too, but her expression was mixed with self-disappointment. “I guess I got caught up in things, too.”
“Hey, we’re all okay now, right?”
Esther seemed to settle down, hearing that.
Isaac realized the real crux of the matter.
“So, uh...why are you here? Do you know Audrey?”
Esther gave a small smile. “Audrey’s my sister.”
Isaac supposed he didn’t expect that.
“Sister?” Isaac repeated, looking at Esther in a new light. Her face did look similar to Audrey’s after all. But Audrey’s hair was blonde, Esther’s black...Audrey acted cheerful, Esther acted subdued...and Esther stood a head taller than Audrey...
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“I can see it,” Isaac admitted. “I didn’t know Audrey had an older sister, though. I thought you were a first year.”
“Um, I am a first-year...I’m Audrey’s younger sister.”
Isaac supposed he didn’t expect that either.
“Audrey told me she mentioned it to you, in the hospital...after the fight.”
Isaac remembered drifting off to sleep while Audrey explained something to him, something important, but he didn’t hear the words.
“Oh, so that’s what she was telling me,” Isaac realized. “She told me you were her sister, but I was falling in and out of consciousness, so I guess I didn’t understand.”
“Well...that sounds like Audrey.”
“Hey, how come we never see you around here?” Isaac asked.
Esther looked away. “I live in an apartment right next to the Academy. But most of the time I’m at the school. They have a lot of work for me to do.”
“Oh yeah, you’re a genius, right?”
Esther shifted her weight from one foot to the other, feeling a little small with embarrassment. “Well, I wouldn’t say genius...”
Isaac slapped his fist on his palm, arriving at a moment of realization. “You must be the surprise!”
Esther didn’t understand. “Surprise?”
“Yeah, Audrey said she had a huge surprise to show us today. She was really excited about it.”
“Me?”
“Yeah, of course she’d be excited about you. You’re her sister!”
Esther kept shifting her weight, unsure of what to say, wishing she was in a backroom corner in the basement of the Academy than somewhere exposed like here.
The door to the apartment burst open.
“TADAIMA!” Audrey yelled, displaying the one phrase she knew from the Japanimations Isaac and Reed had shown her. Audrey threw her bags on the counter, which she realized seemed oddly clean. “Woah, Esther, did you clean the counter while I was gone-”
Audrey realized Isaac was in the room as well.
She put her hands on her hips. “Isaac! Are you getting it on with my sister while I was away?!”
Esther went beet red; Isaac just sighed.
Audrey waved her hand. “I’m sorry, I just always wanted to have a romantic comedy misunderstanding, you know?”
Audrey searched through her bags on the table.
“Check it! Cake!” From the first bag she pulled out a white cake. It must have looked like nice once, but as Isaac and Esther peered down at it, they saw the wear and tear that came from an Audrey delivery.
“And boom!” Audrey held out a thick bottle in her hands, labelled Крамбамбуля. The label was blue and the contents murky.
“Sis?” Esther said, looking at the bottle’s alcohol content.
“How did you get this?” Isaac asked.
Audrey shrugged smugly. “Me and Calvin got that Belarusian connection, you know?”
“Calvin? From Calvin’s Corner?” Isaac repeated. Calvin ran a cafe Academy students often frequented due to its proximity to the school.
“Yep!" Audrey exclaimed, waving her arms in excitement. "And get this! His name’s not even Calvin, that’s his American name he adopted. His real name is Станіслаў!”
“How’d you convince him to sell you this?” Isaac asked.
Audrey smiled fondly at the memories she made around fifteen minutes ago. “We started talking about Belarus, we sang ‘My Belarusy’ - and let me tell you, Calvin can carry a key – and next thing you know, he gave me a bottle of Krambambula!” Audrey hugged the bottle. “It’s always nice to see a fellow member of the diaspora.”
Esther slightly raised her hand. “Sis...we were born here...”
There was a new presence at the doorway as Reed stepped inside. “I heard someone say cake-”
Reed noticed the new girl in the room. “Who’s the babe?”
Esther went beet red again; Audrey stepped forward.
“It’s me, Audrey!” she exclaimed. “Did you forget who I am?”
“I said babe, not mildly attractive.”
“Right back at ya!” Audrey motioned toward the tall girl. “This is Esther, my sister.”
“Ah, the genius,” Reed said as she spun the cap off the Krambambula.
“This is Reed, my...Reed,” Audrey introduced.
Esther slightly ducked her head. “It’s nice to meet you, Reed.”
“Same here.” Reed seemed like she had more pressing matters on her mind. “So, Audrey, where’s the VHS I lent you?”
Audrey looked confused. “You never gave it to me. We watched it together and then you took it home. You were gonna give it to someone else.”
“Someone else?” Isaac questioned.
Reed felt a bead of sweat roll down her face. “I remember now, I remember now. I gave it to Derek.”
Isaac crossed his arms. “And I’m supposed to know who Derek is?”
“Derek Domino. The sword guy.”
Isaac knew that Domino was an old Rddhi great, the original wielder of Reed's sword which bore his name. Domino was legendary for his role in the Presidential Restoration that ended the Warring Township period and established the modern New England state some fifty-odd years ago.
That didn't impress Isaac at the moment.
“So you gave my VHS, which is due back this weekend, to an old sword monk expert guy?”
Reed didn't seem all that perturbed. “Relax, he lives in Elizabeth Pond. The other side of the Pond, but he’s here. We’ll just take a day trip tomorrow and get it.”
Isaac went to say something, but just shook his head. “Fine. But if we’re a day late in returning it, you’re paying the fee.”
“No, I won’t.”
“...fine.”
“Guys, guys, it’s alright,” Audrey interjected. “I got Krambambula, I got cake, and I got this!” From her third bag, Audrey pulled out a VHS tape.
Isaac and Reed looked excitedly at the cover. “When one week just isn't enough..." they read, their eyes aglow with wonder. But then the lights went dim.
“...Two Weeks in Vienna.”
Audrey crossed her arms and gave a nod full of wisdom. “It won 'participant' at the Berlin Film Exposition three years ago."
Isaac and Reed looked at each other.
“Well...” Reed shrugged. “At least we got the Krambambula.”
“That’s the spirit!” Audrey exclaimed, throwing her arm around Reed. She took the bottle and raised it high. “To my sister!”
Isaac and Reed looked at each other.
“To Audrey’s sister!”
They all looked over at Esther. She looked small and didn’t know what to say.
“Um...to me?”
The intrepid trio of Isaac, Audrey, and Reed, along with Esther, all cheered.
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