Handmade Black Leather Bound Journal

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omg ihml

they’re ruining this for me. ruining it. this is my place. i can be free here. be myself. do what I want. go where i want. be who i want. but not with them here. now it feels more like the regular world. their hovering. their wanting to help with everything. which makes me want to cry. i am crying. give me a minute.

and if we’re actually stuck, i realize we’re not the first. i mean, its the second half of the 21st century, there have been dozens, probably hundreds, of cases of people having trouble logging out of VRRPGs. i’ve even wished it would happen to me (did i cause this????). almost everyone makes it out and then they sell their game feed on a streaming service or they start a social media channel or they run for office or they marry a reality show star. they always get major $$$ somehow. sounds like a pretty good deal—you get trapped in a game you love, you have some epic adventure, and then you cash in and retire early. yeah, good deal, UNLESS YOUR PARENTS ARE WITH YOU

i can’t avoid the feeling i’m being watched. in a spotlight i don’t want. wondering what the current feed POV is. looking over my shoulder? close up on my dad as he falls over when his UI opens? or dies to a fodder monster? or falls over when his UI opens and then dies to a fodder monster?

i keep thinking about my birthday party at the escape room. i’d wanted to do an escape room because maeve had done one for her birthday and i hadn’t been able to go because my parents didn’t think i was ready. i was ready. i think i was ready. i thought it was going to be the best thing ever. almost all my friends could come. devon and millie talked about it for a week. and then we get there and my parents come into the escape room with us. they were still hovering over me all the time then. worrying about me. they still do, but it was super intense then. omg. omg! omg! !!!!!!!!! who wants to be trapped in a fake space station, trying to escape… with their parents? not me. and now this is a million times worse. like, literally a million times worse. i think we had maybe an hour to get out of the escape room. we could be trapped in here for months! ok, not literally a million times longer, but still a million times worse. i’m going to lose my mind. seriously. my chest is tightening up again ju

i've got to stop thinking about all that time ahead of us. i just need to focus on now.

i’ve been thinking about what could be causing the glitch. the only thi

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A soft chime sounded.