Thursday, January 13, 2022 - TriBeCa, New York City, United States

Ella sat across from the woman who remained so very calm - not even caring that Ella had a gun pointed under the table at her covered by her scarf.

“That was a nice move, when you dropped from the escape.” The woman poured two cups of the chai as they sat in the crowded restaurant. Ella had walked them over to Hudson to a place which she hoped would make it hard for any others to follow. She kept scanning past the woman for anyone else that entered.

“You do well for being untrained. This restaurant is quite busy, your back is to the wall, and I have poor mobility out of this booth side if I did decide to attack. You have the gun pointed at me, but keeping it under the table is a mistake as you won’t be able to track me very well. Also, this table is not as good as the one two over. That one would afford you another exit route, a slightly better view, and less exposure to a sniper across the street. Also, you should have picked a Chinese restaurant or another ethnic group - most of my compatriots have similar coloring to the both of us and won’t stand out as much.”

The woman took a sip of tea.

“Who are you? No who are you and what are you?”

“Me? I am nobody. A mere acolyte. We have been waiting for you for millenia. And now you are here. Sitting across from me in a very nice Indian restaurant. One I quite enjoy by the way. Can I assume this is your treat as my patron goddess?” The woman smiled disingenuously.

“No, I think you attacked me… so the bill is on you.”

The woman made a moue of discontent. “The High Priestess will probably kill me when I submit the expense report. Fine. But you don’t really need the gun. CZ, is it? A good choice for someone on a budget who needs a well crafted precision gun. A Glock would have been cheaper and easier to mod though - way more parts available. I am partial to the new Beretta striker, but it isn’t exactly small.”

A waiter came by and Ella ordered some selections from the prix fixe. The woman, this scorpion acolyte, across from her just said she would have the same.

“So what is your name? I can’t just call you acolyte.”

“But of course you can. When one’s goddess calls you, one answers despite the name. My name is… hmm… you know it has been over 8000 years since I used my real name? The High Priestess doesn’t even keep her name, she probably doesn’t remember it.”

“Your name?” Ella demanded.

“Bahu! It is nice to meet you Goddess and Empress-To-Be Eesha Jindal-Witten, Blessed Innana Reborn.”

“Stop that, and just call me Ella.”

“I hardly think I should be on such familiar terms with my own goddess. It would be unmannerly.”

“Eleanor then. And no more of that Innana stuff either. Just tell me what the hell is going on.”

“Eleanor… I can try. Eleanor. Eleanor. Eleanor. OK. Got it.”

And so Bahu began, starting with when her people served the Emperor Ekerri as Utu, their God on Earth. Until something happened and they were trapped in a cave next to a volcano, the sweltering heat, the water rations. Until Arcsa, the Prophet, found a way out. How they sallied out of that world and took over the nearest kingdom, Sumer, and ruled. Occasionally expanding or moving kingdoms, until Carthage. Whereupon they realized holding rule was not their purpose and was heretical. From then on, training and fighting wars throughout history and accumulating wealth.

“And now you are here. And it is all yours. We are all yours. To pillage the world in your name.”

Ella just stared at her. That was a bit too much. “You are joking, right? I am not going to pillage anyone.”

“Not even a little bit? Well I suppose this is because you are human. Do you know how upset the High Priestess will be that Innana was reborn as a human? She will just…” and Bahu giggled. Like a young teen girl.

Ella sat and thought. She felt like this woman’s bubbly nature and appearance were all a bit too pat. Too neat and disarming to be real. Especially for someone 8000 years old or whatever. Play along or cut through the bullshit?

“So… why did you and a bunch of your friends decide to beat the shit out of me?”

“Well…” and she held up her fingers and began to tick off points.

“First, you are human you know? So kind of like, well like a rat. But not as cute.”

“Second, well you have that glowy thing.”

“Third, there is a bounty out for you!”

Ella let the cute comment slide — Never mind they both looked human right now.

“Glowy thing? And bounty?”

“Well those eyes. And that crown. I told you how we hated Ekerri right? And you were his heir. You got your whole Barbie princess thing going on. And well if we find Ekerri we are going to crack his orc bones and suck the marrow right out of them.”

“And the bounty? For the People, there are now Internet forums. Can you believe it? And someone anonymously posted a rather tidy amount for your head on a bit more ‘private’ server and told everyone you were Ekerri’s heir.”

Her cheerful voice didn’t change the slightest, but Ella knew she meant it quite literally. Something about how she said it had an edge.

“And now?”

“Well you used magic. Like a lot. Fried old Ilgi right into dust. And it was his birthday next week. That’s more than what you get with a l crown from Ekerri!”

“So if you are trained so well, how did I get the jump on that guy?”

“L-O-L” She actually said the letters. What the hell? “Ah, he wasn’t expecting you to know anything. You are pretty resourceful. Not that we won’t give him shit over it. But getting blindsided by your goddess? Even if she is just a lowly human? I guess that is okay.”

The waiter interrupted to place a plate of papadam in front of them. And Bahu put her hands together to pray. But then looked up, “Ummm. Do I like pray directly to you? It feels kind of weird, you know? Like I suppose I could pretend you weren’t here. But that feels rude. Should I just say it out loud? I think I would blush.”

“Just eat already and let me think.”

They both took a papad. Ella was actually ravenous. She had begun to relax around Bahu, but she held to the gun anyway. She had been practicing shooting with her off hand anyway, even if she hadn’t anticipated it would be used to hold off a scorpion woman in a fancy Indian restaurant in Tribeca.

“So… what now? I still don’t know if I trust you or your people.”

“I know and it breaks my heart! Who knows that Ekerri’s heir and our goddess would be the same person? What are the odds. The same probably as me ever getting to rip apart that shitstain dwarf Kothin.”

Ella sat up and almost pulled the trigger in surprise. “Wait… what?”