《ODHM: Holst Curio and Convenience》55: Flies At A Barbecue
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I sat across from Queen Polymnia, matching her strong orange-green gaze with my yellow one. It was almost laughable how after all that pomp and ceremony the discourse between us had descended into something that sat somewhere in between a poorly-prepared-for job interview, and a so-so first date. Ridiculous as it is to say, we’d kind of run out of things to talk about after greeting each other and figuratively fellating each other’s trades, countries, and achievements.
I wasn’t overstating the matter when I said that Queen Polymnia just wished to see me and get my measure. The fact is, anything else that might have actually needed settling between us had been already dealt with by our respective underlings and proxies. Which I suppose is why the Queen had initially wished to have this meeting more privately. She’d seen me, she had my measure, our business for the day was essentially done. Unfortunately, someone on her side had loose lips and had decided to blow this matter up. And it would look strange if, after all this build-up, we just said “well, it was nice meeting you” and called it quits at this point.
Fortunately, this was the point where the social club’s staff came in carrying food and drink. We were able to wait in silence as the table was set. Then once all the food was gathered, one of Polymnia’s aids took a first bite and sip of all the offerings. Her other aides did the same. The senior aides and assistants such as my mother were the next to start eating. With the Queen finally taking her first bites and sips. An odd little ritual harkening back to the days when our nation took the concept of “quest rights” a bit more seriously. The Queen, the host, took the final sips and bites amongst her people, indicating that “I”, the guest, could safely eat.
I wasn’t too hungry by this point, because I’d just eaten, and this was basically a business meeting with someone I wasn’t too familiar with, and whose opinion I still more, or less, gave a damn about. Still, after all that to-do, I would have been remiss to try and say “no, thank you”. Plus, that would have implied that I didn’t trust my host. Which could have had problematic consequences if someone wanted to turn it into an issue. I didn’t think it would be the Queen who started hopping around, but based on the data I’d read prior to the meeting, there were more than a few interested parties who were hoping that this little tete-e-tete ended on a sewer note. Either to weaken the Queen, or myself.
“Well…I must say, as a ruler, I’m not entirely pleased with the fact it took me so long to be made aware of your presence and operations within my kingdom,” said the Queen. Looking up from the plate of crab sandwiches, and egg and cress sandwiches, that sat in front of her.
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“Ah…My apologies, your majesty…” I said. Simply choosing to apologize because it cost me nothing to do so. I hadn’t broken any laws, and even if the path I took to do so was a bit convoluted, I’d properly paid all my tax liabilities.
“...In my defense, when I began the various operations I didn’t particularly do so with the intent of getting involved in Eumelia…” I said. Deciding to be candid, because based on what I’d read of the woman in front of me, the one thing she’d appreciate was somehow who avoided playing unnecessary games.
“Oh? Is that so?” said Queen Polymnia. Sounding skeptical.
“It is so, you’re highness. The various corporations and groups that I’ve either gotten involved with, or started were made with the general purpose of acquiring funds in mind. After I got the various balls rolling, I didn’t particularly pay attention to where they’d roll to,” I said.
“You’d have me believe that you managed to take over two-fifths of not only Veleno-Rana’s markets but the markets of most of our server’s nearest known neighbors…purely without intending to?” said Queen Polymnia. Her tone was slightly sarcastic.
I considered my answer, made a somewhat sour face, and shrugged.
“More or less…”
“Tch…” the Queen. Sucked her teeth.
“Why in the nine hells do I feel like that’s the truth?… And if it is the truth, it makes you even more dangerous, because if that’s what you can do just doing what you do…I can’t help worrying about what would happen if you acted with purpose.
“If it makes you feel any better, none of my actions were made with ill-intent. Nor do I have any plans of aggression, or master schemes hidden up my sleeve…I am what I’ve always been…a humble shopkeeper,” I said. Giving the Queen a sincere smile.
“*Snrkt*...A humble shopkeeper he says…To my strongest rivals, and the two biggest pains in Eumelia’s collective-ass have suddenly turned as tame as lambs because of you…and you call yourself humble…Ah, well, I suppose I don’t mind that kind of cheek,” said Queen Polymnia. Shaking her head.
“Ah…Well, there were some special circumstances behind those two incidents…” I said. Laughing uncomfortably.
“I can imagine…” said Queen Polymnia. Narrowing her eyes at me.
“Mister Holst…You are something of a puzzle, you know?... Some details like the way you’ve dispersed the bulk of your wealth so that you actually make much less than you could, the way you pay your taxes without playing games, and the general lack of big movements make you look like you’d be safe to trust…Other details, like the events in Mirsada and Violet, and the fact, that as of a few years ago, you’ve built a big enough of a presence in my own nation’s economy that you could cause me all manner of headache simply by shuttering those businesses of yours…Details like those make you look exceedingly dangerous…” said Queen Polymnia.
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“So, I’d like to know exactly how I’m supposed to view you….” said Queen Polymnia.
“I can’t really control how I’m viewed…And you haven’t really said anything wrong…All, I can say, is what I have been saying…I’m just a shopkeeper…I have no grand ambitions, and for the most part, I already possess everything I want, and the few wants I still have aren’t the sort that you could give me…” I said. Hands folded on the table in front of me.
“Hm, you know what…I think I’ll trust you…based on what I’ve seen…what I’ve ‘seen’, and dear, sweet, Alanna here…I’m going to trust that you’re not some big scary monster of a man, who’s out to destroy my country…”
“So long as you don’t try to destroy me first anyway…” I joked, perhaps too soon. Taking a calculated risk.
“Indeed….Which as much as offends me to say so, sounds more or less fair…” sighed the Queen.
From there, things wrapped up. The rest of the people seated amongst us were brought into the conversation via a mixture of introductions and the natural flow of the goings-on of the tea party. I allowed myself to let my hair down a little bit, though I’d never let my guard down in this kind of environment. Then things rapidly wrapped up, because everyone seated here was the kind of person who had a million things they needed to get down in a single day.
“Well, it’s time that we call this evening’s tea to a close…Officially speaking, I thank you for taking the time to meet with me, Mister Holst…Non-officially speaking, could you at least try to make yourself more available, don’t think I don’t know that the only reason you’re here today was because I got your mother to plea on my behalf,” said Queen Polymnia. Half-joking. Her tone was simultaneously gracious and chiding. She was whining, but it was very regal whining.
“Heh…I’ll try. As you’ve repeatedly reminded me…That business of mine is a bit…overly voluminous…in many ways. And takes a lot of my attention. That being said, I’ll try not to be a stranger, your Highness,” I said.
The queen smiled. I smiled. Then the event was officially over. The other officials present as aides and assistants to the queen stepped forward to say a few words to me as well, since we all happened to be there, and it wasn’t like there were any camera’s present.
My mother, Alanna was amongst those who stepped forward to slip a few words in.
“Thank you for coming, dear…And thank you for playing ball,” said Alanna.
I ducked my head, and ignored the faint blush on my cheeks.
“Nhn…Well, there was only so long that I could postpone a meeting with royalty…anyway,” I mumbled.
“Still…I appreciate it. Are we still on for the week after next?” said Alanna.
“Ah…Sure. Why wouldn’t we?” I said. Realizing that I would have been more than a bit disappointed if we missed our monthly teas.
“Oh, good…Well, see you then I gue-...”
“Ah, lad…Glad to catch you before you set off,” said a voice that somehow managed to sound unbelievably annoying and grating, despite the speaker using the same high-common that was spoken by all of Eumelia’s upper-crust.
“Till next time, mo-...mom,” I said. Pushing myself. Partially out of annoyance.
“W-, wait, a minute. Youngster, don’t you remember me, I’m your Unc-...” continued the speaker I’d been doing a very good job of ignoring right up until this moment.
Imagine being in an open-air market, or barbecue. You try to ignore the all filthy, six-limbed, winged, “nature” buzzing around you. Then one of those troublesome bugs not only gets in your way, it crawls right onto your fork, just as you were about to put the last bite into your mouth. At that moment, I lost my temper and a bit of killing intent leaked out.
The temperature in the room sank by several degrees and everyone froze. The middle-aged stooge who’d so insistently been approaching me coughed blood and stumbled back as if struck. Then I caught myself, and retrieved the bit of my aura that had escaped me, despite my best intentions, hoping this little slip-up hadn’t just ruined all the work I’d done. Fortunately, it had only been a slip lasting a fraction of a second, so maybe, just maybe, this wouldn’t be too bad. If not, then at the very worst, I’d maybe need to avoid Eumelia for a bit. I was too annoyed to care right at that moment. My anger and fluster were clouding my thoughts.
Blushing, ashamed at my lapse, and murderously furious at the “fly” that caused it, I did my best to play that matter off…
“Whoops…Looks like now I “really” need to go. Till next time, mom. Till next time, your highness…” I said. Bowing once more in salutation. Feigning a boisterous laugh as if this was all some kind of prank, and allowing my figment retinue to hustle me away.
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