Omake 38: Avanti Divina Giovinezza

Warning: reference to an AU I’m writing in Alternate History. This character is democratic in that route.

“This is very awkward,” I muttered as I stood before a familiar face. A ‘twice’ familiar face at that.

Big office, it was particularly pleasant-looking as it reminded me of how I styled mine. It had numerous books, most of which focused on Economics, or from old Italian authors like Niccolo Machiavelli, Dante Alighieri, and even Giuseppe Petrarca and Giacomo Leopardi. The balding figure on the other side of the desk nodded in agreement, pouring a glass of wine for me to drink from. I hadn’t asked, but I didn’t mind sipping some now that I got hit by this shock.

“Likewise, Signor Joestar. I didn’t expect for a dual insertion of all possible ideas,” The Prime Minister of Italy, the leader of the Italian Socialist Party, argued. “Still, I suppose it’s only natural for us both to get the short end of the stick.”

“I picked a failed world-conqueror,” I pointed out and the politician shrugged.

“And I got the pasta dictator, turning him into the pasta staunchest democratic figure.”

…

I had to admit I was expecting another way to describe it, but I decided against causing ‘myself’ more trouble than he was dealing with. It was definitely hilarious, but that’s some dry humor only I could go for. But I couldn’t imagine anything else from someone like me, so I merely nodded at him.

“Europe is a lot more different. You’re changing things a lot.”

“Only for the betterment of everyone… minus anyone too dangerous.”

“Wrong. You’re doing this for the betterment of those countries you believe can be saved. Reach out for the rest,” I shot back and he snorted, giving me a long look. “You got the means, stop being a prick.”

“Only if the others stop being like that too. Still, I might reach out for Valentine if he is up for a trade deal. Wouldn’t say no to a supportive US,” The man admitted with some reluctance. Bringing up Bloody in the conversation as the one that approached Italy with the most tentative approach. My counterpart was particularly… intense, just like I am. I also wonder how he would react to having someone behaving similarly like me around himself. That would be an interesting scene. “Although, your UK still owes us an apology.”

Ah yes, the Foreign Ministry attempted to lure France into the war. To be fair, it was a clever move that was botched by a strange case of timing and previous planning. The French just didn’t want to deal with the crap that had happened in the Balkan. Not when some of their investigators got killed while the international commission was studying what happened in Sarajevo. An attempt, but a futile one that merely pissed the Rooster to find solace in isolation rather than take the bait.

“It sure does, and I heard that Italy is interested in a special manner of decolonization. Bringing ‘culture’ to the natives and giving them the means to establish their own self-government once the literary campaigns are over.”

The Libyan case came to mind. I was a bit stunned when I first heard of it as I could recognize ‘my’ blueprints being used about it. Decolonization was a hurdle that had to happen, and what really mattered was how to handle it. One couldn’t just ignore it, or try to drop the colonies out in the wild without give them preparations to survive the modern world. We both have seen how it went back in our original timelines.

“It’s better than just drop them out without any preparation,” The Prime Minister argued. “So, what’s your plan?”

I had to grin at this question as the answer was quite obvious.

“Follow yours. Two heads are better than one.”

The Prime Minister sighed, dryly glaring at me as it was just flagrant how I was just teasing him into this state of mind.

“You… are making me hate myself.”

“Likewise. But at least we can share the pain,” I commented joyfully. “By the way, I heard you have a few issues in Rome. Of the Pillar kind.”

“You can go and fix that. Right now we have found the site, but we will let you deal with it.”

“Much appreciated really.

“Fuck you, John.”

“That would be improper. To tell a John to do that, John.”

Ah yes, the worst enemies for each other. John Bukharin.