What causes powers? The answer is yet to be

known, but we can rest assured that it will be

found. After all, I have a pretty good eye.

-Savvria Ixen Âkil, President of the ISPC

The alarm rang, yet nobody moved to turn it off. Ludwig hadn’t paid attention to it since three days ago, and he didn’t find any reason why this time should be different. He writhed in his bed until he faced the wall to his right, trying to dampen as much as possible the noise while doing the slightest of movements. His sad attempt caused his blanket to make a tight noise as it scraped against his pants. New pants. He had burned the ones he used that day, with everything they had on them.

The continuous high pitched beeping wasn’t telling him to wake up. That time had already passed. It was now suggesting that he stopped his workout routine and headed home, which he of course wasn’t doing at the moment. And yes, it may have been an alarm, but it was more of a suggestion than anything else, mainly because Ludwig hadn’t paid attention to it even once, despite setting it up himself to try and please Logan. But basically, what it meant was that it was six in the afternoon. And he was still in bed. Not like it was going to change shortly.

The reason behind his long lasting stay in his chambers wasn’t sleep. In fact, that was the last thing Ludwig wanted, and luckily for him, staying still in bed wasn’t a good incentive for sleeping. Neither was depression. He had felt it before, and though it was horrible in of itself, he would probably have preferred it over his current predicament. No, the reason why he had stayed in bed for the past three days was a different one.

He was scared. Ludwig was terrified.

Ever since he became a murderer and a hero, this creeping sensation grew in his mind. It wasn’t because he had killed people, which despite causing some conflict, was manageable. What worried him was the process that he had experienced, the idea that his subconscious could appear again and reclaim control over him. In short, it was… It was frightening.

Ludwig could still feel the inner conflict, which had matured into a very exterior confrontation. His quiescent body, paralyzed muscles fighting for their inactivity against the aggressive strings that wrapped around them, forcing them to do their bidding. Nonetheless, those hadn’t been his threads. They simply couldn’t be.

His threads were that, threads. They were strings like the ones attached to kites, which were thrown into the air, hoping they would do their purpose without breaking. But what wrapped around him… Tendrils. Extremities moving with a natural ease, intensely caressing his body with strong muscles, making him feel a viscous sensation despite not being viscous. A menacing feeling when it meant to protect. An unnatural affection that creeped him out when it was supposed to comfort him. Those hadn’t been the threads and strings he wovened himself from his body. They couldn’t belong to Ludwig.

Yet they did, which was the worst thing of all. He couldn’t escape it, he couldn’t run from it. Wherever he went, that thing would follow him. Which, behind the fucked up lense that life decided to put on Ludwig’s eyes a couple of weeks ago, could benefit him. Despite how brutally, disgustingly, and awfully it had beaten and killed those people in the side street, it could also be useful when facing Armstrong, or at least to enact the same brutality and awfulness to her. The problem was that it did not care who was the victim. That beast was happy because it killed someone, regardless if it was a rapist, criminal or a bad guy. It had had five successful hunts, and it only cared for more.

Ludwig remembered how he approached the girl paralyzed by fear, how it made him approach her. The mixture of feelings from that time caused him nausea. An overflow of joy and hunger, mixed with a concoction of both paralyzing fears, the girl’s and Ludwig’s, and a dazzle of guilt. He could still feel it, the cocktail of different emotions, within which fear was the only ingredient of his own.

After some time had passed, the main conflict had changed its enemy forces. No, not changed. They had derived. It had been reduced to an oppressive guilt and a perverse happiness, both wanting to make a place of their own in the new blend. They weren’t his… But… They were? It didn’t feel like one of his own emotions, but it also didn’t feel like a feeling coming from someone else. Nevertheless, it made the experience worse overall. And enveloping that, like a fragrance wafting through the air, was his annoyance, seeping through the comparison of him and… That bitch. How he hated the fact that right now, they were more alike than ever before. It made him want to destroy something with his bare…

The anger dwelling in him was billowing.

Ludwig took a deep breath.

(One.)

He flexed every muscle in his body as hard as he could, then let them relax on his bed.

(Two.)

He blinked ten times, exhaling some air with each one.

(Three.)

Ludwig felt how the angry cloud calmed a bit, but it was still present at the red and orange horizon that was his interior, waiting for the storm to strike, which made him shiver as his imagination grew wild.

The conflict might have changed, but not because the loser had been decided. Both fear and anger had won, and he was beginning to worry that their offspring managed to achieve the same result with the current battle.

The phone rang, but Ludwig remained still. The ringing sound died soon after, but then appeared once again. Ludwig let it ring as much as it wanted. Afterall, he wasn’t going to pick it up. The process repeated about twenty times before his patience ran out. He grabbed the device and answered the call coming from an unknown number.

“Yes,” Ludwig said with an annoyed tone.

“Uh…” Came from the other end. “He-Hello, I… We’re calling from… Dude, what do I say?” The voice said as it moved the phone away.

“I don’t know! Tell him something about car insurance or something!” Another voice said, quieter than the previous one.

“Uh… We’re calling you for your car extended warranty?”

“I don’t have a car,” Ludwig said.

“Eh… We know, that’s why… We’re calling. We have a good deal for you, s-sir.”

“You just called twenty-two times.”

“It’s a very good deal.”

Ludwig hung up and lightly threw the phone to the other side of the bed. He then sighed.

This… Wasn’t going anywhere.

There was so much to do, and… This… Wasn’t leading anywhere. He didn’t want to be scared. It wasn’t nice, but what bothered him the most was that… It was tiring. Ludwig had to do a lot of things, too many things, and this fear didn’t let him do any of them.

How easy would it be to let go. Leave the anger, annoyance, guilt and fear away. Continue with that new life he was thinking of… But he couldn’t. It was too much, the unfairness. There had to be a limit, he had to put a limit. No one else was going to establish it for him, that he knew. He wouldn’t let his life be at the whims of circumstance, because that simply wasn’t living.

He had to do something.

After days of having ignored it, Ludwig reached out for it. It was the only thing he could do at the killing comfort of his bed. Or maybe not, but it was the only thing he was willing to do.

“Wagner,” Ludwig whispered.

(Yes?) Wagner thrummed, calmly as ever, as if nothing had happened these past days.

“I need your help.”

(You said I couldn’t help, and nothing has changed since that. I don’t understand how I would be able to help now.)

Ludwig closed his eyes.

The first day of his stay in bed had been filled with questions coming from Wagner. That day Ludwig learned that he hadn’t really assimilated what Wagner had told him long ago. That it hadn’t felt emotions for a good chunk of his entire life. Whenever Ludwig said that he felt some way, Wagner would ask him a bunch of questions to understand or try to fill the empty spaces in its experience, mostly inquiring him about how the emotions felt, which… It was impossible to describe them realistically. Every new question reminded him of what had happened, making his annoyance build up bigger and bigger, until it reached a point where it popped and Ludwig scowled at Wagner. He had screamed at it to shut up, that it was useless and it was incredibly incompetent.

Ludwig felt… Embarrassed for it, but the feeling got consumed by the oppressive guilt, instead fueling it.

“I was angry and wasn’t really conscious of my actions or the entirety of the consequences that they could create,” Ludwig explained. When speaking about emotions with it, Ludwig had to make sure to word it very precisely. It lacked that knowledge, and so it couldn’t feel the gaps on its own. He had learned that thanks to his stupidity. “I apologize for my behavior.”

(Did you do something wrong when you screamed at me?)

Ludwig was shocked at the words. If anyone else had said those words, they would have been infused with a venomous sarcasm, trying to make them burn as much as possible. Wagner… Wagner was genuinely curious. And that made him feel worse.

“I…” How could someone explain it? “People usually feel bad when someone screams at them.”

(I’m not a person.)

“But… It made you feel bad, right?”

(Not really.)

Mmh…

“Ah… I… Still, I want to treat you with respect.“

(What’s respect?)

Boy was this hard.

“Respect is… Is a noun used to refer to a certain level in a relationship with… Two or more people where everyone treats each other as equal.”

(Mutualism.)

“Yeah… Sort of.”

(But this element called ‘respect’ isn’t necessary for our established mutualism. You already get benefits, and so do I.)

“It is for me,” Ludwig said, already seeing how the conversation could extend to infinity.

(I understand.)

Silence took his turn to talk.

“Can you… Will you help me?” Ludwig then said, interrupting silence.

(I’ll do everything I can to help you. Though that isn’t much.) Wagner then reverberated for a moment. (How about if you ask the questions?)

“What do you mean?” Ludwig asked to the pillow, knowing that Wagner would hear him anyway.

(Last time, I was the one asking the questions, and it ended up being useless. Why aren’t you the one asking questions this time?)

“I don’t know…”

(I guess I now should motivate you to try, right?)

“I guess.”

(Come on, you can do it.)

Ludwig sighed.

“What happened the other day?”

(Do you mean the day where you murdered several people after having gone to the gym?)

“Yes,” Ludwig asked, starting to not feel as guilty as he had had just a moment ago.

(Well, we left the gym after being defeated once again by Logan, aiming to reach the closest bus stop to then go home. But once there, we saw how a bottle smashed against the pavement and a sudden fear and anxiety crept around us-)

“Wagner, I didn’t mean for you to recall out loud the events of that day. I was asking you why it happened, specifically the thing that took control over my body.”

(Oh. I apologize. About that…)

Ludwig knew this wasn’t going to prove fruitful either. If Wagner had known something about it, it would have told him, since it was so worried about his emotional health…

(I have an idea.)

Ludwig slightly jumped in his bed.

“You know what… Why did it happen?!”

(I have an idea.)

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?!” Ludwig asked as he turned around in his bed.

(You didn’t ask,) Wagner calmly thrummed.

“I didn’t think I was supposed to! Didn’t you say that you worried about my emotional health?!”

(... Does this affect you emotional heal-)

“Yes! It does!”

(...I apologi-)

“Oh my God! Wagner why are you-!”

Ludwig bit his tongue before he continued. He had to remind himself that it didn’t know better, and that it hadn’t done it on purpose.

“Why did you think it wasn’t affecting me emotionally?” Ludwig asked as calmly as he could.

(I didn’t know.)

“But I told you that I was afraid!”

(You did.)

“Then?”

(You didn’t mention the reason. You screamed at me before I could ask you about it.)

“What…” Damn. “What idea do you have?”

(What I know precisely is that the ‘thing’... Appeared just after I created a big amount of adrenaline.)

“You… You can create adrenaline?”

(I can. I’m fused with your brain, and therefore I have some control over some things. Since I’m starting to understand that you want details in addition to the surface information, I’ll tell you that I also used this tactic in our fight with Armstrong. I got what people call ‘inspiration’ from our encounter with the so-called shoplifters. Though they rob shops, not lift them, which I consider a-)

“You don’t need to give me that much. The previous detail was enough.”

(Mmh, I now understand why human relations are so complicated.)

“You only know a portion.”

(Oh boy… Did I use that expression correctly?)

“You did.”

Wagner reverberated happily.

“Please continue,” Ludwig then said.

(My presupposition is that one of the other ones used the threads.)

“One of the…? What are you talking about? What do you mean by other ones?”

(One of the other ones inside you.)

“Are… Are there more like you inside me?”

(No. They are similar to you, though they have a simple mind of their own.)

“What…?”

Others inside him? Similar to him? What was he referring to? Simple minds? Minds? Was it… Was it talking about schizophrenia?

His heart skipped a beat.

“Wagner are you talking about…?”

(Mmh, no, calling them minds is inaccurate. They’re more like entities which act instinctively.)

“Wagner…”

(Because if they had minds I believe we would have heard them already-)

“WAGNER!”

Wagner stopped thinking.

“Are there…” Ludwig continued. “Multiple personalities inside me?”

(No… Do you want me to expand on it?)

Fucking yes.

“Yes,” Ludwig answered.

(From what I’ve heard and learned from different people, the closest word to describe them would be ‘trauma’. Something like a subconscious reaction, though they’re not quite that. They’re more complex than that, but they do not reach the level of a thinking mind, alternate personality or similar.)

That didn’t calm him much.

“So, I’m fucking unstable? I could snap at any moment because I’ve gone crazy? Or because I’m becoming crazy? God I thought they were only anger issues…”

(Is that a problem?)

“Of course it is! What if I snap around civilians and innocent people and end up hurting them? What if… What if I snap around Laura and hurt her?”

Wagner thrummed thoughtfully.

(Would it calm you if I told you that you wouldn’t be able to hurt her?)

“And how… How do you know that?”

(She would-)

Something knocked on his bedroom door.

“Ludwig?” Laura’s voice came from the other side.

Ludwig sat on the side of the bed. Yet he did not move further than that.

(When had she entered the house?)

“Are you okay?” Laura inquired.

“I’m fine, but this isn’t the best moment to talk, Laura.”

“Can you please come out? I want to talk to you, and… I have something for you.”

“It’s really not a good time.”

“Please,” Laura pleaded. “Come out for a moment.”

“I… No, I can't.”

“Ludwig, please, I beg of you!”

“Laura…” Ludwig said with a tired tone.

“Have I done something wrong?”

“No, it… It’s just that I need some time-”

“I’m sorry,” Laura said, almost on the brink of tears. “I-I know I haven’t been doing a good job.”

“Laura, stop,” Ludwig said, his voice firm as he gripped under the bed.

“But it’s true. I can’t even help my brother when he needs it. I’m… I’m just so stupid.”

“Enough,” Ludwig said, his voice beginning to get some emotion to it.

“I’m… I’m pathetic. I just blame other things instead of myself, wishing it will make me feel better about how dumb I am-”

Ludwig got up with a jump and opened the door to the corridor.

“That isn’t tru-!”

Ludwig stopped at the sight of his sister. Slumped elbows, hunched back, trembling legs, a face filled with tears and a quivering lip, two oceans for eyes. And a chocolate cake in his hands.

“Happy birthday,” was all she said.

He stood there, his hands raised, knees bent, mouth opened. If being near to death had been a breaking point for his psychotic self, this… This was the one for his cowardly self.

Ludwig sprinted down the stairs, his bare foot clicking against the light brown wood. His body was moving against his own, but there weren’t any strings to blame this time.

Only him.

“Ludwig,” came a whisper from above.

He managed to grab the door frame before leaving, giving him a couple of seconds, “I need a walk.”

Ludwig then disappeared in the darkening day.

He didn’t run to the city. Too many people, too many lights. Instead, he ran to the forest behind his house.

(Stop, stop, stop. STOP. Please, go back! Don’t you dare leave her again,) he pleaded. But his body didn’t respond. It kept running and running, pebbles and leaves nailing to his sole. Until it finally stopped on his own. Ludwig was surrounded by trees and only had the moonlight to discern his surroundings.

It also reflected on the river that flew from Ludwig’s face.

Moments passed, and the only sound accompanying the occasional breeze was his sobbing, which he kept at a steady pace.

He hated himself. Hated how everything that was supposed to hurt him, hurt one of the few people he cared the most instead. If he hadn’t been born into this unfair world, maybe…

A light flickered behind him. Steps followed it shortly after, just like the thunder after the lightning.

“Sorry, Laura,” Ludwig said as he sniffed and wiped his tears. “I’ve just had a bad week-” He stopped mid turn, his mouth still open.

The figure behind him wasn’t Laura, but the young man from the side street.

He was holding his phone with his right hand, aiming it to the ground. The light reflected from the loose sticks and leaves let Ludwig see the young man’s face, with the two brown patches that were his eyes locked on him, and the dark green long sleeved T-shirt and black pants, which in other situation might have proven to have color.

Ludwig sniffed as he completely turned around.

He didn’t know what to do, and this… This didn’t make it easier. He had no idea what to say, and he didn’t want to say anything. He wasn’t in the mood for chatting with a stranger. His mind wasn’t coming up with a greeting, nor did it want to. But he had to say at least the slightest of things. So he forced his mouth.

“Hey,” was all that came out. Ludwig then began walking, hoping the curt acknowledgement deterred the young man from approaching him and establishing a conversation. Or at least to confuse him for enough time to make his exit. Unfortunately for him, the young man stepped out to the side, putting himself in the way.

“Um, sorry. You’re… You’re the guy from the uh, the side street, right?” The young man said.

Ludwig stopped.

“Yeah, what do you want?” He then spat, filled with annoyance.

That paid him a reaction. The young man stepped back, the light moving as he did. He had widened his eyes and was now looking around, his mouth slightly opened, surely searching the words. However, the gesture hadn’t been able to take away his desire to speak.

“I-I just wanted to thank you. You know, for saving me and that girl?”

Ludwig nodded, “That’s all?”

Even before he could faint a movement, the young man rushed another sentence, “Also, I wanted to know if… I could help you?”

Ludwig hesitated before even moving.

“What?” He then said with a tone of sincere confusion.

“I want to help you. You know, like you helped me.”

“Do you… What?”

“I want to help you save people. Do the… Uh, right thing,” the young man said, lightly punching the air.

“Do you think I’m a hero?” Ludwig asked, genuinely curious.

“No,” the young man said. “I think you’re a vigilante.”

Ludwig chuckled at the boy’s opinion, making him feel a little uncomfortable from what he could tell by his rigid body language.

“I’m not. You gotta find another.”

Ludwig began moving, but the young man stepped forward.

“But you saved me!”

“If I did,” Ludwig said. “It wasn’t on purpose. I couldn’t care less about you.” The young man widened his eyes. Ludwig himself could admit that what he had just said was harsh. Cruel, even. But it was also true. “Look, thanks and all that, but, no. Why do you ask me? I’m not an expert, but aren’t there official super heroes? Just the other day I learned about the Neighbor thing. Sign up for that!”

“I… I did. They didn’t accept me.”

“Then I don’t know what to tell you-”

“Teach me.”

Ludwig tilted his head.

“Look, I’m not going to say yes just because you’re incredibly stubborn.”

“Please!” The young man said. “You’re… Powerful. You took care of those guys like it was nothing! Teach me, please!!”

“No,” Ludwig said, even more annoyed than before. “I already told you. And what would be the point? You have powers, right?”

The young man nodded.

“Are they strings?” Ludwig said as he threw his right hand in the air, launching a set of red-orange threads. “No. Then how the fuck can I teach you? And how did you even find me?”

“I… Have a friend who’s good with computers. But, please, I-”

“The only thing I could teach you is how to fight. And I don’t even know how to do it. I take classes! Why don’t you do that, uh?!”

“Because I could defeat everyone in a gym. But I wouldn’t be able to defeat you.”

Ludwig grabbed his hair and pulled with both hands as he screamed,“WHY?! Why are you so obsessed?! Why don’t you leave me alone?! FUUUUCK! I don’t have time for this, or any of your stupid bullshit! Leave me alone! PLEASE! At least do me one favor!” That last scream was directed to the sky above, and to whatever fake and unearthly entity that was beyond.

The young man hadn’t retreated this time. He looked uncomfortable, with his wide eyes and hands slightly raised, but he retained ground this time.

“Because I have to be a hero,” he then said, as calm as he could.

“But why?! And why me?!” Ludwig asked, pointing at himself, the threads waving around with the movement, flickering with red light.

“Because you’re my only option, and you’re strong. And I have to make my girl proud,” the young man ended. He had put on the most serious face he could muster. Ludwig hoped that in addition to being crazy, he was deaf, Because that was some bullshit reason.

And that made him truly angry.

“You’re telling me that the reason you want to be a hero is to look good in front of your girl?” Ludwig asked, with a silent anger in his voice and a noticeable tension as he stepped forward.

“Well, yeah… K-Kind of,” the young man said as he nodded.

Ludwig gave another step.

“I’ve been through the worst time of my life due to criminals, unpowered and powered ones,” Ludwig said, the tension growing in his voice. “I’ve been almost killed twice now, broken several bones multiple times, and practically suffered mental trauma to which I still don’t know the full extent. And I’m not a hero,” he said, grabbing his shirt with his left hand. “And you're telling me, that you want to not only willingly enter head first into that kind of situation, but even worse, to make a girl proud?!”

Ludwig walked to the young man until his head was right next to his.

“You disgust me,” he said, barely resisting his urge to spit in his face. Ludwig then began walking just as the young man stepped once again in his way.

“Wait-”

The threads became red and weaved themselves around his right arm, in the same fashion the beast had done a few days ago. He smacked the young man in the face, using the full force of his arm and a little bit of the threads. The young man turned as he fell on the ground, leaves and dead branches cracking as they made contact with his body. Meanwhile the phone dropped with a thud, still shining light to the dark forest, making the trees look phantasmagoric.

“Enough,” Ludwig said, feeling the burning pain from the sensitive threads. “Leave me alone.”

He began walking, but something grabbed his shin. As he turned, he was able to see the young man, a small river of blood falling from his slightly brighter cheek, punching the ground with his free hand while he gripped Ludwig. The sound that the hand made on impact resembled that of a mechanical hammer. Ludwig readied his free leg to kick the downed young man, but he crawled to a crouch and punched him in the gut before he could do so.

He was sent flying two meters above the ground, spit and blood flying from his mouth as he agonized his pain. Ludwig then hit the floor, his two legs trembling and failing almost instantly as they made contact. He managed to stay bent over instead of prone thanks to the strings, which forced his hand to move. In the midst of the pain, he could feel anger. Half of it was directed at the boy, the other half at the fact that the beast had discovered an incredibly effective way of using the threads.

“I won’t go until you accept to teach me.”

“What the fuck is the point to teach you if you can beat me?!”

“That wasn’t you full-”

Ludwig aimed for the chin as he threw an uppercut with his threaded arm, his legs gathering as much balance as they could. The young man was surprised, but managed to move his head out of the way due to how slippery the punch had been. Ludwig coughed and let his lungs be filled with new air, while the young man retreated a pace back. He could feel the beast in the corners of his mind, creeping, waiting for an opening.

(Don’t you create adrenaline,) Ludwig thought as he took his usual combat stance. He put his left foot forward, his right one slightly behind, while his arms were close to his head, the left fist slightly inclined to the right and in front of him.

(I know you do not want it, and that you’re angry, and that you don’t want to talk to me-).

(What?) Ludwig ushered him.

(But it may be best to accept the young man’s offer. We could insist that he helped us in exchange for whatever-)

(No,) Ludwig dryly thought. (Wagner, the beast could kick his ass into oblivion, and we still don’t know if it could beat Armstrong. He would be a liability. Plus, I really dislike him. Just keep the other things at bay.)

It began thrumming, and Ludwig began thinking how he could manage to send him into oblivion.

Or even worse places.