《The Wild Touch》Chap.38 Formage Head To Healer
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A brief knocking could be heard from the door into the residence of the Loamwicker home. It was a abrupt and impatient rattle, as if the person beyond was not used to having to wait.
Pouring himself another cup of Fallridge tea into his fine china, Delm the headman then adjusted his posture, straightened his fine Benqmoth-silk waistcoat before he was finally ready to entertain.
“Enter,” beckoned the Gnorkling in his weaselly voice and deactivated the expensive locking artifact that barred the door.
Through the tiny door entered a pudgy foot that was quickly followed by the blue-robed healer before the venerated practitioner become stuck in the frame of the door. The Hebdican heaved and struggled like a trapped balloon before freeing himself and catapulting into the room. But with great control of his massive girth, he came to surprisingly quick halt instead of cannoning into the finery on display the room.
Both host and guest ignored the awkward entry, for it was one of many considering the Gnorkling’s fear of leaving his home has been worsening in his later years.
“It’s not very often that the ex-shadow minister calls upon my magnificent presence, what can I help you with today Delm?” asks Xerneg with a dramatic flourish of a blue and flowing sleeved arm before falling heavily into the biggest chair that sat opposite the Gnorkling. “And is that Fallridge tea?”
It’s not like you were here raiding my pantry just last week when you came to heal my neck you buffoon, thought Delm. But instead of speaking his mind the Gnorkling, without missing a beat, smiled before answering, “The one and only! Help yourself to some and any of the cakes I have out for you, Bettle made them just this morning.”
The village head continued to smile but frowned internally, as he watched the Healer eye the pleasantries on display upon the table before them. The healer was trying to play himself off as being coy, but Delm knew that the old Hebdican had already zeroed in on them since he stepped into his living room.
“Don't mind if I do Delm, don't mind if I do,” replied Xerneg before grunting as he leaned forwards to grab himself a plate that was heavily laden with delicious looking cakes and crumpets. With the whole dish in his lap, Xerneg then reaches down the front of the neck of his robe before producing a large bowl-like ceramic cup. Then, unabashed, he leans over once more before grabbing the whole teacup from Delm’s side table and proceeds to pour the whole brew of expensive Fallridge tea into his own container.
The tea barely came halfway to the Healer’s cup and to the Gnorkling’s horror, he watched as the foul Hebdican slurped up the whole thing in one go.
“Hrmm I always thinks it smells better than it tastes,” Xerneg commented offhandedly before grabbing more plates to pile on his lap.
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That was three silvers you just quaffed like some cheap ale you fiend! Delm screamed in his mind as a angry vein began to show on his impressive head and through his wispy white hair. Relax Loamwicker, you need his help today, relax….. you’ve dealt with bloodthirsty dragon princes, a greedy Hebdican is nothing to you.
“So my esteemed grandmaster healer, I have-,” Delm begun rehearsing his well prepared speech. But the Gnorkling could not help but slightly stutter and frown upon the horrific sight of the Healer, as the foul Hebdican began gorging on the cakes. With crumbs and small pieces of icing flying everywhere and all over his well-kept and expensive carpeting. Bettle would be very peeved indeed, probably enough to try and poison the healer if she was here to witness the Hebdican defile her well-kept home.
The village head was nothing if patient, so he waited for a lull in the Hebdican's feasting. For normal people needed to at least breath between mouthfuls.
But he waited and waited as he was proven resoundingly wrong. For the Hebdican had somehow transcended the mortal need to breath or barely even chew as he ate. With the small and comfortable living room playing host to the disgusting sounds of the healer grossly smacking his lips together, along with the squelching of saliva and moist chewing as he enjoyed the cakes. Delm waited as another vein began to throb upon his head.
The Gnorkling was then surprised to find that the sumptuous feast of cakes his wife had slaved over to host the healer, was decimated in but a few short moments.
I should've known better than to underestimate the grandmaster's abilities, he reflected before taking another huge breath as he felt a headache come on. Meanwhile the healer himself finally paid his host the attention he craved after he fruitfully searched for errant crumbs. As usual his leftovers were upon his lap and out of sight due to his large girth.
"As I was saying, my esteemed grandmaster healer. I have called upon you-" Delm begun before being cut off once more by a pudgy hand that was held aloft by his guest.
"Wait a moment Delm," requested the healer before grunting in exertion as he searched below his impressive gut. The healer was then delighted to be rewarded with a handful of cake crumbs in his pudgy hand, before popping the whole thing into his mouth, hand in all.
"Con- *chewing* -tinue," begged the healer as he spluttered more cake onto the carpet from his mouth.
"I have called upon you today Xerneg, because I wish to interrogate our beloved shopkeeper in matters regarding to some….. discrepancies…. Discrepancies that have risen to my attention as of late," whispered the Gnorkling conspiratorially as he touched the tips of his fingers before him with his feeble little elbows upon the armrest of his seat as he had practiced many times that day.
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But the performance was slightly ruined by a bulging veins on his forehead and how the Gnorkling gritted his teeth trough parts of his performance.
"My isn't that quite exessive of you Loamwicker! I thought that sort of life was behind you by now, having settled down and lay roots here in this peaceful little Pancreedy," the healer retorted. “I am fully aware of how the shadow-arm carries types out your interrogations.. with lethal results normally.”
“That is precisely why I need you here today Xerneg, because Bettle’s female Royaltoad has croaked years ago, leaving me with just Gost… the male, and therefore I have no antidote,” stated Delm before sipping his tea to calm his nerves.
“Alright, if we ignore that fact that it is extremely illegal, EXTREMELY ILLEGAL I SAY! To own a Royaltoad, I guess you need me here to counteract the poison, knowing full well I am one of the few capable of doing so in the whole continent,” replied the Healer with a dark visage overcoming his normally jolly features.
“Precisely,” happily replied Delm as they finally got down to business.
“I refuse! You know that it goes against the Healer’s creed,” replied the Hebdican before he started to get up to leave.
“Wait Xerneg! You’ve taken the boy as your apprentice did you not?” asked the headman as he was starting to get flustered. You were supposed to ask why!
“How did you find out so quickly?” the healer asked as he started to turn around with a green glow on his pudgy hand.
“Lem has already discussed with me of a matter, in confidence, about an issue of which I cannot speak off using a soul binding contract, of which I cannot divulge the information wherein… and in regards to the issue of you taking the boy as an apprentice, you forget so easily what I used to do,” replied the Gnorkling smugly before settling back into his chair.
“So what if you know? Do you wish harm upon the Brownwhiskers with this information?” asked the Healer seriously as he turned around with both of his hands now glowing.
“If I was another person Xerneg, I would think that you are now threatening me o’healer, with your creeds, but worry not, for I have no wont for such trifle dramas, such as whether Swallows were from another world or not,” replied Delm with a smirk that showed his sharp incisors and a gleam in his nearly wholly black tiny eyes.
Understanding that the Villagehead was going about and using a roundabout way of saying he didn’t care if Nosal was grafted or not, made the Healer also understand that Delm had drafted the contract with a few loopholes if he was able to reveal his information in such a way. But to be honest, he had to agree that it was beneath the ex-shadow minister who used to support the Union from the shadows, to meddle with some Unsung in a rancher’s family in the middle of nowhere. Plus he was definite that Delm was posted here to keep an eye on the monstrous Dwarf of all things.
“So why the cloak and dagger with the shopkeeper? I happen to have a very good relationship with the Firekin who procures my delicious meals from far and wide,” replied Xerneg who was not wholly convinced but he still let the glow fade from his hands.
“Well as you can no doubt see, Lem’s got a bit of an issue of trying to hide a certain somebodies class… and I happen to also handily have a amulet of confuscution, which I wish to give to him at an opportune time,” stated the Gnorkling before fishing out a tiny red amulet on a chain from the front pocket of his waistcoat. “But it just so happens to be, that our little shopkeeper here, has been making quite a more few calls than usual, using a level three communication tool, since somebody has recently woken up from his CLASSING.”
Xerneg was no fool as he quickly connected the dots. “But that doesn’t necessarily point to the fact that whomever young Shivalteek works for is out to get our little Nosal,” he refuted.
“Well that’s why you’re here Xerneg, so I don’t kill him after using the toad poison, plus Lem has been thinking of expanding into Tricorn RANCHING! *huffing* Which means we can produce Tricorn cheese the faster we get all these loose ends sorted!” shouted Delm with a fervour overcoming the normally composed Gnorkling.
The Hebdican’s eyes bulged at the mention of the Tricorn cheese. He then quickly composed himself before saying, “Well why didn’t you say so? I’ll be happy to assist in any way I can if he proves to be innocent, and if not… Shivalteek will be missed.”
“Great! Now my wife will be here soon with the poison pie and Shivalteek should be here shortly after, you can head over to the bakery to pick whatever you deem fit as.. payment,” replied the head in a sinister and overly dramatic fashion, having also practiced that final line, with a wave of his hand. Only to look up and find that the Healer was already squeezing through the door, having got up at the mention of bakery.
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