《A loose thread》{harsh realities}
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Orn placed the sword belt around his waist. He could hear Aunty saying something about his cousins. The thought of them getting in trouble.. and being mad at him made his shoulders slump. I hope I did not get them in trouble.
Shaking the thoughts away he rounded the corner of the building. What is all this? Orn walked along the narrow path between rows of plants in raised beds or pots. I hope there is more room in the back.
The rear yard was filled with plants as well, but the center was a cleared space of packed earth. But for the lack of grass it reminded him a bit of the garden back home.
Now I just need Kao. Some part of him expected her to just appear when he thought of her. The hope was dashed by emptiness of the silent garden. Looking around the empty garden he felt a tightness in his chest. He tried to shake off the feeling and began to walk around the space to get a feel for the room he had to move in.
Finished, he slowly drew his sword and knife, and took a comfortable position. He tried to imagine an opponent standing opposite him. The imagine Kao smirking at him behind her own sword seemed appear in his mind’s eye. He stepped forward and probed at his imaginary opponent. He tried to imagine how she would act and respond accordingly.
I am just flailing around. Without her here I cannot tell if I am actually doing anything, or just lying to myself that I could do this well. His shoulders slumped, and he muttered to himself. “It is just not the same without Kao.”
“Of course, it is not the same without me.” Orn’s eyes snapped up to see her standing a few paces away in her dueling outfit. She casually flicked her ponytail off her shoulder.
Orn could not keep the smile off his face. “Does the goddess make a habit of listening to everything I say?”
Kao placed her hand to her chest and mocked offense, “You make it sound as if I have nothing else to do but listen for when you need me.”
Orn laughed, “You came though.”
She rolled her eyes and walked closer to him, her expression becoming serious. “It is a duty of a goddess to take care of her servants. So,” she gently poked Orn in the chest. “What is the problem?”
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Orn was about to deflect te question, but Kao shut him down. Realizing that she had no intention of letting this go he explained.
“… so I used it as an excuse to come here. I know I should not feel bad that they are good. I just... It is just…” Kao nodded waiting for him to find the words on his own time. “I felt helpless again. My best was not good enough. I thought I was good with a bow, but compared to them it meant nothing. I was struggling to even pull the string back. I should not, feel like this but…” Orn trailed off as his head dropped so he could stare at his feet. This is so embarrassing...
“Feeling helpless or that you cannot do something is ok.” She placed a hand on his shoulder and cleared her throat, “The real issue is what you choose to do about it. Orn look at me.”
Orn slowly looked up to see her sword in her free hand. “Dodge this.” She said causally as she swung the sword down at him.
He tried to scramble out of the way, and putting his own sword between her blade and his head. For a moment he expected her blade turning to attack him from the side. Instead, Kao’s sword stopped a few inches above his, before she lifted it to rest on her shoulder.
“When you first picked up a sword, you would have been helpless in the face of that. Now you can avoid it and are even getting ready defend further. It is easy to feel helpless, you are going to encounter people with skills that exceed your own, especially now. My sisters’ blessings happen immediately, so those getting their paths will be better than you. But the real question is do you want to accept being helpless?” She asked the question softly, but her eyes bore into him.
How did I become helpless again? Orn’s feeling of helplessness shifted to one of irritation. I said I wanted to protect everyone, and I am running away.
Meeting Kao’s gaze evenly he asked. “How do I get better?”
His question caused her to smile.
“You do not give in to the feeling. Sometimes you will have to withdraw.” She pointed over her shoulder vaguely in the direction where the other boys were playing. “There was no way you were going to keep up with them. But if you keep trying you will get better and one day exceed them. Knowing when to choose between the two will take time.”
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Orn nodded, “So it was right to leave?”
Kao shrugged, “I will leave that for you to decide. But since I am here,” She grinned evilly. “I see not reason not to practice with these.” She waved her sword menacingly in front of her.
When Kao attacked him again he expected it, but this time she was moving faster. It was the speed Orn had grown accustomed to. The sparring went back and forth across the clear space in the yard forcing Orn to stop worrying about his cousins, and focus solely on Kao.
Hours past and Orn was exhausted.
“Feeling better?” Kao asked as Orn panted.
He nodded but his eyes watched her warily. She is getting rather fond of attacking me when I am not expecting it.
“Good. Now if you want to get better with a bow ask your uncle to go on hunts with him. You will get better.” Her smile took on a mischievous tilt, “And if you need me to beat you up again, you need only ask.”
“Eavesdropping goddess.” Orn muttered to himself as she disappeared, but he could feel the smile on his face. Then in a whisper as he turned to leave, “Thank you…”
[Out of sight Orn’s father’s POV]
He leaned against the wall as his aunt and uncle stepped away from the arrow slits in the wall. “So what do you think?”
“I think this is insane. You say he could not use a sword after his birthday but now,” his uncle gestured through the wall to the yard below. “he is using it better than some of those knights. I Still do not believe the goddess part though. It is too much to just accept.”
Aunty nodded, “It looks as if he was fighting someone. The idea that it is a goddess is disturbing, but also unlikely.” She then gave him an even look. “It is more likely that he has an imaginary friend long past the age for such things, because he never had anyone his own age around. I have seen it a couple times with families from remote corners of the forest.”
“Putting his imaginary friend aside. You said you want me to make him a hunter.” Uncle looked at him, then tilted his head toward the wall, “Whether she is there or not, it seems his goddess wants him to be a knight, if he took to a sword that fast.”
He shrugged, “If it is an issue Orn will tell you.”
Aunty watched him with narrow eyes, “I feel you are leaving something out. You were always too fond of your little secrets. You know something else but are not telling us.”
He could not help but smile inside. I am and I will tell you about Olrich’s reaction when I remember. Serves you right for not believing me.
Aunty sighed. “Why are you always like this?”
He grinned at her, “I do not know Aunty. Why are there secret places to watch the rear yard? I happen to recall everyone knowing that yard was the one private place in the village.”
“That is just so the young ones can feel alone, and we can stop them before they do something dumb.” Uncle replied matter-of-factly then stopped. “Wait! Is that the reason?…”
Uncle’s palm connected gently with his head, “That was the reason you always tried to sneak out of the village. You knew.”
He rolled his eyes, “Of course I knew. I still do not understand how no one else did.”
“It is because they were not raised by professional schemers.” Aunty replied smugly then looked quickly away, when he pointed at the hidden windows with a raised eyebrow.
Looking between his wife and nephew uncle cleared his throat. “So does that mean you really did just want to privately talk with Genna?”
“Yes.” He did his best to keep his voice level, and tried not to think about how he had been so infatuated with that girl. It is so embarrassing to think back to that time...
“That is a lie if I have ever heard one.” Aunty said laughing.
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