《The Blunderbuss Chronicles: Jon The Farmer》Book 3: Chapter 6
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Jon hadn’t eaten yet, so it was decided to take him back to the barracks to eat.
Hector had been in disbelief the entire time. He shook his head and muttered things under his breath that even Jon couldn't understand.
When they were finally inside, they were waved over by Lester.
“All hail the King,” Lester said as they approached.
“Shut up,” Hector said, taking his seat next to him.
Across from Lester was a thin figure Jon could only barely recognize as Avery. He had to be skinnier than even Hector, and yet, his armor was twice as large.
“Oh, you’re doing that face,” Avery said to Jon as Jon took his seat next to him. “The one where you’re like, ‘you’re so small under that armor’, and all that.”
“How do you even put it on?” Tallow asked. “Isn’t it too heavy for you?”
“It’s all in the shoulders, hun,” Avery answered, rubbing them. “We gotta look menacing while we’re outside the castle, but honestly, it wouldn’t do us very much good in a regular fight. Even Lester here fights as well as any of us, and he doesn’t wear anything."
“I wear something,” Lester responded. “Must I always be dressed to the nines when taking out my enemies?”
“People like Hector got all the good stuff,” Avery said. “It’s small, light, and just a little bit of magic. Perfect balance.”
“Yeah, whatever,” Hector grumbled.
“It’s not a diss on you, Hector,” Avery explained. “It doesn’t mean anything for your skill. You’re still a proper badass without the armor.”
“It’s dumb,” Hector said. “All of my equipment is dumb and magical. Other people should be using it.”
“Oh no, here we go,” Avery started. “Does he do this with you a lot?”
“Always,” Tallow said. “Mr. pity party here never know how to take a compliment.”
“I wear armor because I’m not very good at evading hits,” Hector said. “So… yeah. I suck.”
“Correction,” Mercy explained, “you wear armor because you charge into everything and take attacks head-on. That’s a legitimate strategy.”
“Hector’s foes get tired of swinging at him for so long that by the time it’s his turn, they’re already ready for a nap.” Avery chuckled. “Hector, you’re a brave and tough mate. That’s a good thing.”
Hector hadn’t responded. Jon could tell he was deep in thought.
“...Lester, has Amalia been going out with you on missions?” Hector asked.
“Sure,” Lester said simply. “She has. She’s been begging me.”
“It’s dangerous,” Hector said.
Lester continued eating without worry. “You don’t give her enough credit, mate! Besides, I don’t take her on anything incredibly dangerous.”
“Does my sister know?” Hector asked. “Cause if she did-”
“Your sister is my concern,” Lester said.
Hector didn’t seem to like hearing that. Jon expected a yell that never came.
“It’s not like you listen to your sister all the time anyway,” Lester explained. “If I didn’t take Amalia, she would probably go running off on her own anyway. Don’t you think it’s better if I’m there with her?”
“...Sure…” Hector grimaced. “I understand.”
“My, my, you are a pussy,” Tallow said. She shook her head in disappointment.
“What do you expect me to say!” Hector said, raising his voice slightly.
“Nothing! I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m gonna check out whatever they have on the wall.”
Tallow left.
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Lester patted down on the table. “I gotta get prepared. Let’s see what hottie number 1 has got for me today.”
He took out a red gem from a small bag on his leg. Jon could see Hector frown at the comment.
“Get it?” Lester asked. “Cause she’s fire, like-”
“I get it,” Hector said.
“...Do you want to say hi? Or…”
“It’s fine,” Hector waved him away. “Go take your call.”
“Be seeing you, my brothers! My sister!”
Lester pointed at Mercy before he left the table.
“A little abrasive, isn’t he?” Avery asked as he watched Lestor leave. He then saw that Hector had his head sinking to the table.
“...There’s something bothering you mate?” Avery asked. “Does it have to do with the fact that Mallory’s not here?”
There was suddenly loud knocking from the end of the barracks. All of the soldiers turned towards the noise.
“Ohh, excitement,” Avery said. “What’s being announced today?”
“Hear ye, hear ye!” a man said. He had on a flat hat and looked like he believed he was incredibly important. “The king has sent me, hie royal messenger-”
“Hurry it up, Jerry!” Some cried. “My eggs are getting cold!”
There were a ton of giggles. The messenger sighed.
There was a sudden chanting of Jerry from one of the tables.
The chanting grew and grew before everyone was chanting “Jerry” over and over in unison.
Jon saw that Avery had gotten in the fun and was slamming the table in sync.
“Alright, alright!” Jerry the messenger said. He was flustered, but he continued. “As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted…”
There were more chuckles from the barracks.
“The King has informed me, to let you all know that we shall be in preparation for a royal wedding.”
Avery turned to Hector. “Is that you mate? That’s awesome!” He patted Hector on the shoulder.
“I… uh…” Hector didn’t seem very comfortable with this.
“The King also wants you to know that you are to continue to do everything as normal until Lord Luther’s arrival.”
There were murmurs among the crowd. Hector put his head on his table and covered it with his arms. This was the first time Jon saw Hector hide away from something.
“And then, all shifts will be doubled accordingly…”
There were boos and lots of other responses.
“It’s for the wedding! And Lord Luther’s arrival.” Jerry called out to the crowd. “Things must be in tip-top shape!”
“What’s the problem?” Mercy asked quietly.
Avery leaned to the center of the table. “The organization of who takes what shift is pretty abysmal as it is. With double guards on duty, that means that it’ll be even more of a nightmare trying to figure out who goes well.”
Jerry continued. “We may have to prepare for another period of power, so everything-”
The murmurs stopped.
“What? Is that what stops you from talking?”
“Is the princess not getting married?” Someone asked.
“Who would be stupid enough to challenge Hector?”
“We haven’t had one of those in years!”
“We may, we may, we may,” Jerry the messenger sighed. “We’re expecting royal company from the other lands, so be prepared to take up arms somewhere new!”
“Who’s getting married?” The last question was unencumbered by the other amount of talking. Everyone seemed to be waiting for an answer.
“The royal marriage will be between Lord Hector Sufir Quartersire…”
“Someone kill me…” Hector said underneath his arms.
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“And…” the messenger opened up a large scroll he had in his hand and took a moment to read the paper.
“...Lady… Mercy Ninja Shark-Killer Highlander… of the Highlander clan.”
The barracks buzzed in excitement.
“He’s marrying a ninja?”
“He’s marrying a ninja.”
“A Highlander!”
“Highlanders are coming.”
Hector groaned.
“I hope that shall be enough information for now,” Jerry said. “I shall come back later with more-”
“Get some rest, Jerry!” Some yelled.
There were some more cheers.
“It’s funny to say because he has only one job,” Avery explained to whoever would listen. Jon listened.
He then noticed all of the faces starting to turn to Mercy. She seemed to be aware of it, but also didn’t care.
“Avery, could you help get Jon some food?” Mercy asked.
“Huh? Oh, right!” Avery stood up. “I got it. You know you’re getting a lot of attention-”
“I know,” Mercy responded. ‘It’s fine.”
Avery nodded. “That’s good on ya. If Hector can trust ya, then we can trust ya, too!.”
He looked at Hector.
“You’re marrying a ninja. When you hit him, you sure hit ‘em hard, don’t ya?”
Hector moaned once more.
Avery left the table.
Mercy took her seat next to Jon.
“What’s this period of power?” Mercy asked.
Hector didn’t respond.
“...I guess I’ll wait for Mallory to return,” Mercy said to herself.
Mallory finally did return after Jon got his plate. Avery had given them a send-off, as he was off to fulfill his patrols around the outside of the castle again.
Jon wanted to say “hi” as Mallory approached, but his mouth was too full of food.
“How was it?” Mercy asked. “Everything?”
“It’s about as much as it expected to go,” Mallory said. “There’s a bit of panic. Looks like your name inspires fear in the hearts of the men of Resden.”
“That’s… kinda nice…” Mercy said. “I mean, I don’t want to be feared, but-”
“Better for the circumstances at hand,” Mallory nodded. “I gotcha.”
“You finished talking pretty to the pretty people?” Tallow asked. She had returned as well. “Can you explain this War Minister thing?”
Mallory looked at Mercy.
“You do it,” Mercy said. “It’s stupid.”
“...The War Minister is the Highlander version of the foreign relations officer,” Mallory said. “They’re in charge of relations with other foreign powers, whether that be foreign relations, or…”
Mallory made a cutting sound as he used his hand to imitate his throat being sliced.
“You mean declaring war?” Tallow said. “That’s what you mean.”
“Highlanders don’t declare war,” Mallory said. “They just…”
He made the same motion and sound again. “But yes, the War Minister is in charge of deciding if the clans should go to war… or even put someone out on a hit list.”
“But, if they’re not at war with anybody, he’s just a foreign relations officer,” Tallow said. “What’s so bad about that?”
“You clearly don’t understand the Highlanders,” Mallory said. “They’re always at odds with someone. Foreign nations. The other clans. Rival business factions. It’s just a matter of whether they decide to deal with the situation at the moment.”
“So they’re not really on anyone’s side,” Tallow assessed. “No one really cares for them.”
Mallory nodded. “Yeah.”
“So, why not just take them out and be done with it?”
“You can’t just take out the Highlanders!” Hector answered. He hadn’t moved his head from the table since the earlier announcement of the wedding.
“...What Hector is saying,” Mallory said, “is that the Highlanders are an incredible force that not only offers some of the strongest warriors for sale, but they also keep many other political factions in check, while also being foreign to this part of the land. It’s fascinating actually.”
“Everyone keeps them there because they’re too lazy to do everything themselves?” Tallow asked. “That’s sounds right.”
“It’s not good or bad,” Mallory said. “It’s just how things came up. Mercy is the daughter of one of the highest members of power in the-”
“He’s not that powerful,” Mercy said. “He still as to adhere to the head of state, and the several advisors, and the rest of the cabinet members, and-”
“He’s the face,” Mallory added. “And that face is incredibly scary.”
Mercy didn’t say anymore.
“Do people know you're his daughter?” Mallory asked.
"He tried to let people know,” Mercy said. “I eventually stopped going with him to places and stayed inside with the clans. It was safer that way anyway, so I guess he didn’t try to stop me.”
“Then why?” Everyone turned to Hector.
“Why what?” Mercy asked.
He finally picked his head up off the table.
“Why wouldn’t he send his own people after you,” he said. “If he has access to some of the strongest warriors in the entire landmass at his hands, why not just send his own people?”
“...For a lot of reasons,” Mercy said. “One, because he doesn’t want to waste precious manpower just to try to get me back. It would look bad to the other clansman. Secondly, I’m also a Highlander, so even if he sent the best people, I would make a lot of noise regardless. “
“...You ran away, didn’t you?” Hector asked.
“A long time ago,” Mercy said. “He didn’t try to get me back ‘til now. So…”
“Keep in mind, Hector,” Mallory said. “They try to keep out of things they don't belong in. The channels we went through to get Jon were pretty public. Why send your own people through a foreign land when you could hire a group of cross-state mercenaries to do it instead.”
“We’re just a couple of his dancing monkeys,” Hector said. “I can’t believe it.”
“The King’s Guard are a whole bunch of dancing monkeys,” Mallory said. “We’re everyone’s dancing monkeys. But you know that.”
“I don’t want to be some political tool! I want to help people!” Hector responded.
“You do!” Mercy said. “You helped Jon, and his farm, and me, and Tallow-”
“Meh,” Tallow interjected.
Hector stood up. “Sure. I’ll be in my room.”
He stepped away from the table.
“While we’re at it,” Tallow continued, “could you explain this period of power thing to me?”
Mallory was about to talk when Hector cut him off.
“The period of power,” Hector said, “is a time period when all of the surrounding nations come together and can challenge either the bride or a groom to a match to take the hand of the other.”
“That’s a bit of an antiquated idea, isn’t it?” Tallow said with her eyes closed.
“Well…” Mallory began.
“Oh, you gotta have a good explanation for this, and how it doesn’t throw the entire country into political ruin,” she added.
Mallory took a breath. “Actually, if you haven’t realized, the group of powers that surround this land are really bad at voting on anything. They're self-sufficient, everyone works well enough on their own, But hashing things out through discussion is really tough, especially when trying to determine what lands get how much power in a vote. It’s much more easier to argue for power by… fighting.”
Tallow sighed. “Of course, that’s what it comes down to. So, we’re not out of the woods yet, are we?”
“Not by a long shot…” Hector turned back around. He looked at Mercy.
“You’ll be fighting for my hand in marriage against the other powerful woman in the land. Dignitaries, princesses, and the sort. Would you be okay with that?”
“Oh, of course,” Mercy said. “Not for the hand in marriage, part. But the fighting part.”
“Alright.” Hector looked up in thought. “Maybe this’ll work.”
“I thought Mercy was scary,” Tallow said. “Will the other woman want to fight him?”
“Are you kidding me?” Mallory asked. “Has that ever stopped you from fighting her?”
“...True,” Tallow said. “But these fancy folk really will give a challenge to Mercy?”
“The dignitaries often have the money to facilitate a higher level of training and equipment,” Mallory explained. “So, many of them are actually pretty good fighters.”
“But they all want to marry Hector?” Tallow shook her head. “I don’t believe it.”
“They don’t want Hector,” Mallory said. “They want Luther. The hero that saved all the lands back in the day. They also want all of his sisters. Lana, Major, and Charlotte. That’s a lot of political control.”
Mallory frowned. “And maybe the woman may not all want to fight. But they’ll do so by listening to whoever’s in charge.”
Jon looked at Mercy. She would have to fight everyone they sent at her before she could marry Hector. Jon didn’t know how many lands were out there. He had seen so much, and yet there was so much more that he wouldn’t be able to see.
“This should be so much more exciting, but I’m feeling incredibly bored.” Tallow yawned. “Is there anything I can do in the meantime?”
“You could probably join patrols,” Hector suggested.
“Haha, ah, no.” She answered.
Mallory looked at Mercy. “I actually came here to get you. We have to send a message out to your family.”
“...Right.” Mercy nodded. “I understand.”
She stood up. “I’ll see you guys later.”
Mercy followed Mallory out of the barracks.
“What’s there for you to do?” Tallow asked. “You have to talk to your family too, right?”
“Screw ‘em,” Hector said. “I don’t need to talk to anybody right now-”
“Hector!” Lester had made his way to the table again. “I just talked with your sister.”
“I don’t want to-”
“We’re a little short on manpower right now,” Lester continued. “As you can tell by the empty room Durranny uses for his playtime. So, your sister said that I can bring Jon and whomever else wants to come along.”
“Yes!” Tallow slammed the table as she stood up. “Now, that’s exciting.”
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