“Stop right there, Vampirellina! You have terrorized this city for too long! It’s time to meet your maker!”

The brave hero, an 8-year-old child, pointed his ‘sword’ towards his adversary. He stood on top of the kitchen counter with a cape hanging from his shoulders.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t The Judicator. You finally caught up to me, eh? Took you long enough. I was starting to think the Bringer of Justice was a coward who didn’t dare to face me, the Vampire Queen!”

A masked woman dressed in a black shirt and tight pants cackled as she stood on top of the couch, her hands placed on her hips in a confident pose and her glossy dark hair flowing down to her shoulders.

“Justice fears no Evil, you filthy beast! A dark spawn like you would never be able to snuff out the light of righteousness! My Sword of Justice shall cleanse your soul from the Evil that taints it! Here I come, foul beast! Huzzah!”

The young warrior jumped down from his perch and brandished his ‘Sword of Justice,’ a short wooden stick he found in ‘an ancient battlefield,’ otherwise known as the back garden of the apartment building.

“Hah! If you think your puny ‘sword’ can stave off the forces of Evil, then you are sorely mistaken! Your hubris will be your downfall!”

Vampirellina leaped from the couch and crossed the room in large strides with her long, slender legs. The Vampire Queen managed to tackle the young warrior before he could react, and she locked him into a tight embrace as she ‘bit’ him.

“Argh! No! The Corruption! It’s consuming me!”

“It’s too late, Hero! Your resistance is futile. The Corruption is now in your blood, and there is no turning back! You are now one of Us!”

Both woman and child giggled as they played around on the floor. The woman kept the child locked in her embrace, kissing him all over his face. The child just kept on giggling as he was being repeatedly ‘bitten’ by the Vampire Queen.

“Haha, stop, hahaha, it tickles!”

“It’s too late, Hero! There is no turning back! You are now mine!”

The hero finally succumbed to his enemy’s influence. The child hugged his mother as he laughed from the kisses she rained all over him.

●●●

???, 4:00 a.m.

My mind was groggy, and felt like a fog was covering my consciousness. I could feel weird sensations all over my body, and when I tried to move my arm, it felt like moving it through water. It was difficult to move, and a few wiggles were enough to make me tired. I couldn’t even open my eyes. Something was gluing them shut, so I had no idea what was happening around me.

Wherever I was, it was quiet. The only thing I could hear was the rustling of fabric as I flailed my limbs in an attempt to prop myself up, but to no avail. Where am I?

I made a conscious effort to suppress the anxiety welling up inside me. The last thing I wanted to do was panic in a completely unknown situation. I started regulating my emotions, a skill I picked up through the years of suffering severe depression.

I took slow and steady breaths as I tried to recall my latest memories. I remember going home after talking with Christine. I remember sitting on my couch while watching the television.

My head started to pound as an intense headache racked my consciousness. My mind was too muddled, making it harder for me to recall my memories, but I pushed through. I remember debating myself over something. I think it was about the advice that Christine and… the janitor guy gave me.

As I started running my mind, the fog that was covering my consciousness was starting to lift. I was starting to regain my awareness. I think I chose to heed the janitor guy’s— Mr. Frank’s— advice… What was it again?

My mind was starting to clear, but it was still a bit groggy and the headache was still coming on. It was even more intense than before. My mind was feeling constant stabs of pain that were making me lose my focus.

I suddenly heard the sound of rustling fabric near me. I still couldn’t open my eyes, so I flailed my arms all around me in an attempt to find the thing creating the sound. I heard the soft pattering of bare feet on hard ground as the thing got closer to where I am.

I tried to speak, but I can’t seem to formulate proper words, and what came out of my mouth was weird and garbled sounds.

“Bwah. Buh, gah.”

“Shhh, it’s alright sweetie, mommy’s here.”

My entire body suddenly froze the moment I heard the voice. The sound of the person’s voice was sweet and gentle. It was almost a whisper, as if she was afraid of scaring me. But what made me freeze wasn’t the sound of her voice, but what she just said. My heart started to beat faster and my voice trembled as I tried my best to enunciate my words properly.

“Bah, ba, mah. Mu, ma, ma? Ma,ma?”

I heard a sudden inhale of breath near me, as if the person was shocked by something I just said. But I didn’t pay it any heed. I put all my focus on the sound of her voice, to make sure my mind wasn’t playing games. My mother was supposed to be dead, but my ears were somehow telling me that someone was calling herself my mother.

“Oh, you finally called me! My Brogen finally called me Mama!”

The person that called herself my mother laughed in delight, but what I felt at that moment couldn’t be farther from the jubilance she was feeling. Before she spoke, I made sure to pay my full attention to make sure my mind wasn’t fooling me, but the moment I heard her voice, I knew it wasn’t the voice of my real mother. As I made that realization, my headache suddenly flared, making me cry out as my mind suddenly felt like it was being stabbed.

“Gwah!”

“Brogen?!”

I felt something wrap around my body as I was lifted up into the air, but my attention was focused elsewhere. The moment my head flared in pain, my most recent memories that I tried to recall earlier finally came flooding down in my mind. The helium tank, the plastic bag, the television. It all came down at once. My decision.

“Brogen, what’s wrong?! Speak to me, sweetie!”

I could feel something caressing my head gently, but my mind was still trying to comprehend everything I remembered. I turned the valve! I swear it, I turned the valve! But why am I still here?!

“Calm down, sweetie, mommy’s here, she won’t go anywhere.”

I felt my body sway from side to side. Am I in a hospital? Where the fuck am I?!

“Why is he still crying? He doesn’t seem to need to pee or take a poo… Oh! Silly me, his eyes are crusted shut!”

I felt myself moved to a different location. Suddenly, a wet cloth was being wiped on my eyes. Oh god, what do I say to Christine when she learns of what I did?

“There, it’s all clean now.”

I felt my eyelids become free enough to move. As I slowly opened my eyes, my vision was blurred by tears. After a few moments, my sight finally focused on the face of a smiling woman I never saw once in my entire life. She had long black hair and dark pupils, with a beauty mark near her left eye, and her round eyes gazed at me with gentle satisfaction. And she was carrying me with her arms.

My mind finally broke down from what I just witnessed. The woman currently holding me couldn’t possibly hold my 26-year-old body with so much ease. Dozens of possible scenarios flashed across my mind as I tried to comprehend my situation, and none of them were possible. Unless I was a baby. That would explain why the woman was cradling me as if I was her child. My mind immediately came to the conclusion faster than I could feel my tears finally starting to fall.

“Oh dear, what did I do this time?”

The woman had a look of panic and worry on her face, but it couldn’t compare to the despair I felt when the realization finally dawned on me. I died. I died, but I’m still alive! Why? Why?! Is this supposed to be some prank?! Of all the possible things that could happen after death, it had to be reincarnation?!

“Waaaah!”

“Shhh, come now, sweetie, are you hungry? Don’t worry, mommy will feed you.”

I was supposed to disappear into oblivion! I was supposed to cease to exist! Why am I still alive just to suffer again?! God, is this you?! Do you really love to watch me suffer that much?! Does my suffering give you satisfaction?! I was supposed to finally forget all my pain and guilt! My guilt… Oh God… Oh my God, what have I done?

“…”

“…Brogen?”

I abandoned Christine. I abandoned my friend. The person that understood my pain more than anyone. The only person I didn’t want to hurt. I inflicted so much pain on Christine just to escape mine.

I did it to get away from all the pain, but where did it lead me to? I ran away from Suffering, just to meet Despair.

●●●

February, the Year 1216 A.C., 4:21 a.m.

Helen Arte had no idea what to do.

When she suddenly woke up at exactly 4 a.m. with an uneasy feeling in her chest, she immediately decided to check on her baby, who was sleeping in a smaller cot in her room. She couldn’t really explain the feeling that washed over her, but she just knew that she needed to be there for her baby. I didn’t know motherhood could be this hard.

When Helen saw her baby flailing his limbs without uttering a sound, she thought her little Brogen was just having a nightmare, so she spoke to him in an attempt to calm him down. What she didn’t expect was for Brogen to suddenly cease moving the moment she spoke, his flailing limbs suddenly freezing in the air. She thought for a moment that her baby was scared of his own mother’s voice, a notion that terrified Helen.

But when Brogen spoke the word ‘mama,’ Helen’s heart immediately melted as she rejoiced her son’s ability to recognize her. A corner in her mind wondered how her newborn baby, who was just over a month old, was capable of speaking a word, but her overwhelming maternal joy easily dominated rational thought.

Brogen’s first word would have been enough to keep Helen smiling for the rest of the day, but his sudden change in mood turned her earlier excitement into growing concern. When her baby suddenly became unresponsive at the end, even when she tried to elicit a reaction by touching his face or tickling his tummy, her concern morphed into full-blown panic.

She immediately wrapped her precious baby in thick blankets and bolted out of the small thatched house that served as her home. The slight pain that coursed through her body that was still recovering from childbirth didn’t even register in her mind. The only thing that occupied her thoughts was her child’s well-being.

Helen rushed across the residential district of the small town that was still shrouded in darkness. It was winter, and the sun has yet to make its entrance. Lanterns that hanged by the sides of the road provided some measure of illumination, casting dark shadows that surrounded Helen as she ran in her thin nightgown and sandals. The flickering light made the shadows look as if they were alive, giving Helen the illusion that something was lurking within the darkness.

But Helen paid it no heed as she made her way towards the Church of the Holy Mother located in the middle of the residential district. A normal person would have gotten lost in the twisting pathways of the residential district without the sun illuminating the streets, but Helen knew the way by heart.

Thankfully, the Church of the Holy Mother always built their chapels in residential areas so that the common people could easily reach them. After a few minutes of running, Helen finally arrived in front of the Church.

In contrast to the dark surroundings, the Church of the Holy Mother was illuminated by dozens of lanterns and torches. The building was built out of white stone, its arched roof covered with a thin layer of snow, and it only reached two stories tall. The entire structure had simple arches and murals adorning its walls, giving the chapel a very minimalist appearance.

Helen climbed the stairs that led to the large double doors that served as the main entrance to the chapel and knocked.

●●●

Mother Betha Cowen got up from her bed as somebody knocked on the door of her room. She squinted her eyes at the wall clock hanging beside her bookshelf and grumbled.

She tried to keep the annoyance out of her aged voice, but having her deep slumber interrupted made it impossible.

“What is it?” the old pastor asked aloud.

“Sorry to interrupt your rest, Mother, but someone wanted to see you. They said it was an emergency.”

Mother Betha listened to Sister Lina speak through her door as she stood up from her comfortable bed. Even after many years of servitude, Mother Betha still wasn’t used to being called ‘Mother,’ the title used to address priestesses and female pastors of the Holy Mother Church. She didn’t know why the founders of the Church just didn’t use a much simpler and, in her own opinion, less embarrassing title. Every time somebody called her ‘Mother,’ she would be reminded of her failure to find herself a husband and create her own family, which was probably the reason why she was grumpy most of the time. That was why she always insisted that people call her ‘Pastor Betha,’ but nobody really paid her any heed and just addressed her as ‘Mother Betha.’

She dressed in her white clerical robes, a bronze pin attached to her chest. The pin featured the symbol used by the Church of the Holy Mother, a simple, unadorned figure of a woman kneeling beside a wounded person. All clerical attire in the Church of the Holy Mother was minimalistic, and any adornment or ornamentation on a priest or priestess’ body was strictly prohibited, the only exception being the pin, as it signified a clergyperson’s rank.

Mother Betha opened her bedroom door and saw Sister Lina waiting outside, already dressed primly in her white habit, but without a pin. Sister Lina had wavy brown hair that reached past her shoulders, and her almond eyes that usually shone with mischief were marred with worry.

Mother Betha became a bit more concerned when she saw the tension in Sister Lina’s eyes, so she immediately asked for the details as she walked towards the stairs that led to the nave.

“So, who is it and what’s the emergency?”

“It’s Helen, Mother. She went here in a hurry while carrying her baby. I didn’t get to ask for more details since I immediately rushed to wake you up.”

The pastor’s countenance worsened, the wrinkles on her face becoming even more pronounced as she processed Sister Lina’s words.

Mother Betha and the two nuns were the ones that personally saw to Helen’s childbirth more than two weeks ago, and they were also the ones that took her in temporarily when Helen had no income due to her pregnancy. They let Helen stay at the chapel and provided her food in exchange for her help with errands and chores. Spending several months with her inevitably resulted in emotional attachments being formed, so Mother Betha and the two nuns living in the Erfeld parish were genuinely worried for Helen.

As they reached the nave, Mother Betha saw Sister Tillie, her blond hair tied in a ponytail swaying back and forth, as she tended to a young woman wearing only a nightgown and carrying a child in her arms.

As Mother Betha and Sister Lina approached, the two women finally noticed them. The young woman stood up immediately and bowed her head reverently in the pastor’s direction.

“Sorry to disturb you so early in the morning, Moth—”

“It’s alright, Helen. Now, tell me what’s the problem.” Mother Betha immediately cut Helen off mid-sentence as she went and accepted the child the mother was offering desperately.

“I don’t know myself, Mother, but I woke up earlier this morning with an uneasy feeling, so I checked up on Brogen. When I got to him, he was acting unusual! I interacted with him for a bit, but in the end, he just stopped responding! No matter what I did, I couldn’t elicit any reaction from him! Mother, what is happening to my baby?! Is he gonna be alright?! What if— oomph!”

“Shhh, it’s alright Helen, your son is gonna be alright. Everything is going to be alright. The Holy Mother will make sure of it.”

Sister Tillie pulled Helen in a tight embrace before she could further fall into hysteria. Helen’s sobbing was smothered by Tillie’s chest as the gentle nun hugged her. The young woman trembled uncontrollably in Sister Tillie’s arms, her tears flowing down her face. Sister Lina also joined the embrace, offering comforting words to the shaken mother.

As Helen was being comforted by Sister Tillie and Sister Lina, Mother Betha assessed the child’s condition as she cradled him.

The child’s eyes were open, quietly staring at Mother Betha’s face as she placed her hand on his forehead, checking for a fever. Fortunately, there was none. She closed her eyes and cast a simple diagnostic spell.

A white glowing circle of magic formed from Mother Betha’s hand that was touching the child’s forehead and sank into his body. After a few seconds, the light pulsed and returned to the pastor’s hand. There doesn’t seem to be any problem, the pastor thought.

She learned this simple spell back when she still apprenticed as a healer, and since then, it helped her tremendously in her work as a pastor of the Holy Mother Church, although Mother Betha also knew that a simple spell like Diagnosis wasn’t all-powerful. It couldn’t detect diseases that were magical in nature, especially if the magic came from the occult. There was a chance that the child’s behavior was caused by magic, but she knew that it was very improbable. Erfeld was a backwater town far from the big cities, and no mage would come here for any reason.

Since there didn’t seem to be any physical abnormality that she could detect with her spell, Mother Betha opted to talk to the child.

“What’s wrong, child? You’re making your mother worry too much. If you keep doing that in the future, your mother would age faster until she reaches my age in no time.”

The child just continued staring at her.

“If you keep staring at me like that, you’re gonna make me blush, brat.”

Mother Betha tried waving her wrinkled hand and snapping her fingers in front of the child’s face. But not even that elicited a single reaction. Wait…

Mother Betha tried leaning her head away from Brogen’s line of sight, and the child just continued staring at the space where her face was just a few seconds ago. Looks like he wasn’t staring at my face. He’s just looking at empty space, the pastor thought.

Mother Betha wondered what led to the child’s weird behavior. She wanted to ask Helen whether anything unusual happened to Brogen after the mother and child left the chapel a few days ago when the mother finally recovered enough from childbirth. Unfortunately, with her current condition as it is, I probably wouldn’t be able to get anything useful from her.

The good thing was that the child wasn’t in any immediate danger. Luckily, Mother Betha had a possible solution in mind to elicit a reaction from the child. Let’s see if you’ll still have that deadpan expression on your face after this, little Brogen, hehehe.

The pastor slipped one of her hands into a little pocket hidden in her voluminous robes and retrieved a small wrapped object. Using only one hand, she unwrapped the object stored within.

The loud crinkling of the paper caught the attention of the three women currently embracing each other. Helen’s eyes were still red and filled with concern, focused only on her child, but the two nuns beside her had faces that slowly filled with relief. They saw the look on Mother Betha’s face and the mischief glinting in her eyes. If the pastor was going to do one of her usual antics, that probably meant the situation wasn’t as dire as they thought it would be.

Mother Betha finally finished unwrapping the object, which turned out to be a brown piece of candy. Helen had no idea what kind of candy it was, but the nuns’ faces suddenly paled. They knew what it was, but they didn’t stop the pastor. They saw it as a possible solution to Helen’s dilemma, although it wouldn’t be a pleasant one. They gazed at the child with eyes filled with pity.

Mother Betha broke the soft chewy candy into two pieces, putting the smaller piece into the child’s mouth. And then she waited.

●●●

I had no idea where I was or what was currently happening around me, but I didn’t care. I felt myself being jostled around for several minutes after I made my depressing realization earlier. I zoned out everything around me and wallowed in self-loathing.

My mind still wanted to grieve for myself, for everything I lost, but I couldn’t. Not anymore. I already cried all the tears I could, and now I only felt an emptiness inside me. I was starting to get numb from all emotions, but that didn’t mean the emotional pain I felt disappeared.

As I isolated myself in a little corner of my mind, I suddenly felt something being shoved into my mouth, but I didn’t give it any attention. The world can go fuck itself, and I’m not about to— Wait… what is thi— Holy shit, what is this?!

The moment I tasted the nasty thing inside my mouth, I immediately tried to spit it out, but the thing was too large for my baby mouth to expel! Who’s the bastard that put this shit in my mouth?! I swear I’ll shove this thing down your throat when I get the chance!

I tried bringing my hands to my mouth to manually remove it, but I suddenly realized that my entire body was wrapped tightly in thick blankets. Fuck me! Get this thing out of my— Oh god, I think I’m gonna puke.

My saliva was starting to accumulate in my mouth as I did everything I could not to swallow any of it. The taste was too overwhelming for my sensitive baby taste buds! The thing in my mouth tasted spicy and a bit sweet, and it tasted like ginger. Who in their right mind would feed ginger candy to a baby?!

As my mind tried to comprehend the reason why someone would want to put a candy for old people into a baby’s mouth, a large hand finally, finally, pried the candy out of my mouth. The moment it was out of my mouth, I bawled my eyes out.

●●●

Mother Betha chuckled as she watched Brogen’s chubby face morph into several different expressions in a span of a few seconds. When she put the soft candy inside his mouth, he didn’t react at first. His dead eyes just continued to stare into empty space. After a few seconds though, his face suddenly morphed into that of confusion, his eyebrows furrowing as he tried to comprehend what the thing in his mouth was.

When Brogen’s face finally transformed into disgust, she plucked the candy from his mouth as the child bawled.

“Waaaaaah!”

Mother Betha couldn’t hold her laughter anymore, and she cackled, a sharp ringing noise that reverberated across the chapel’s walls. A witch would have blushed in shame when she heard that laugh.

Even the two nuns had small smiles on their faces when they saw Brogen’s cute face showing different expressions. Only Helen wasn’t smiling, but the tension and concern that marred her face for the past hour finally changed into relief, and she immediately rushed to Mother Betha’s side to claim Brogen.

“Oh, my baby! What was that, Mother?” Helen asked as she cradled her crying baby in her arms.

“Don’t worry, Helen. It was just a piece of candy I usually eat when my throat gets sore from preaching.”

The pastor’s evil grin could have matched that of a villain, but Helen just chuckled in relief at Mother Betha’s obvious attempt at making her relax.

“Thank you again for your help, Mother. I didn’t know what to do earlier and just panicked! I had no idea motherhood could be so difficult.”

“It’s your first time raising a child Helen, so don’t blame yourself too much about these things. Little Brogen probably just had a quiet tantrum. Mind you, that’s a lot better than most babies when they bawl day and night.”

“I think you may be right, Mother. But sometimes I can’t help but think that Brogen is too quiet for a child. For the past two weeks, he never cried even once, so when he started wailing earlier, I just panicked!”

Helen had a look of worry on her face as she remembered Brogen’s strange behavior after childbirth. A look of concern also flickered across Mother Betha’s face, but it was gone as soon as it had come.

“Brogen is probably just one of those quiet types, Helen. Don’t worry, after a year or two, you’ll start hearing more from him, and then you’ll definitely miss the silent treatment he’s giving you now. ”

Mother Betha gave Helen a wink as she reassured the inexperienced mother. Brogen finally stopped crying a short while ago, opting to glare at Mother Betha, but the pastor didn’t notice.

“I guess you’re right, Mother. No use worrying about it now. Thank you again for your help. I always seem to find myself in your debt. I’ll definitely repay you in the future.”

“Bah! Talk about repayment once you finally move out of the hovel you call a house.”

“I will, Mother Betha. I won’t forget all the help you have given me.”

“Thank the Holy Mother, girl. It was Her will for Her servants to help all those in need.”

Helen just smiled warmly at the pastor. Helen knew how Mother Betha just shrugged off her good deeds as if they were nothing, but in fact, a lot of people in Erfeld felt immense gratitude for their pastor.

“Thank the Mother Brogen’s alright.”

Behind Helen, Sister Tillie sighed in relief as everything turned out okay. She was a gentle young woman who was empathetic with almost every other person, so when she answered the door earlier and saw Helen panicking while holding her baby, she almost lost her composure as well. Fortunately, her time spent as a nun helped her keep her calm and assist Helen to settle down.

Sister Lina, on the other hand, just broke out in a wide grin as she slapped Helen in the back casually like best friends, which they were. Several months of living together formed a strong friendship between Helen and the two nuns.

“Helly, you almost scared me to death! The next time you need something, just come when the sun’s already up, okay? Seeing an almost-hysterical woman emerging from the dark streets is too much for a beautiful young maiden like me!”

“I’m sorry for scaring you like that, Linny. But I don’t know about the ‘beautiful young maiden’ though. You should have seen your face when you opened the door earlier. You looked more like an ogre with how much your face distorted in worry and fear.”

Helen laughed as Sister Lina blushed and slapped her friend’s back again, this time with much more force.

“Oh yeah? Well, you should’ve seen Mother Betha’s face when I told her it was you knocking on the door,” whispered Lina in a soft voice.

“What’s that with my face, Sister Lina?”

Sister Lina’s face suddenly paled as she felt a sinister presence behind her. She made extra effort to make her voice as soft as possible, but she found out the hard way that the pastor had very sensitive hearing despite her age.

“I think what Sister Lina meant to say was that you looked very worried earlier, Mother, a testament to your genuine concern for Helen.”

Luckily for Sister Lina, Sister Tillie came to her rescue, as always. Between the two nuns, Sister Tillie was the responsible one, always doing her religious work diligently, while Sister Lina was the… inattentive one, to put it mildly.

“Uh-huh…” Mother Betha just eyed both nuns suspiciously. Sister Lina breathed a sigh of relief as she murmured a ‘thank you’ to Sister Tillie. Mother Betha turned to Helen.

“So, is there anything else you need, Helen?”

“Oh, there’s nothing else. I think I’ll head home now to get some sleep, and Brogen also looks like he needs some rest. I’m sorry for disturbing all of you so early in the morning.”

The women all looked at the child. Brogen had his eyes wide open, glaring at a certain pastor who loved to put ginger candies in childrens’ mouths.

“Oh, yes. He definitely looks like he needs some more rest.” Betha said as she chuckled.

“Thank you again, Mother, and also to the both of you, Linny and Tillie. I guess I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

“Bye, Helly!”

“Take care, Helen.”

“Make sure the brat eats properly.”

Helen smiled brightly at them as she left the chapel with a spring in her step, the three women watching her with smiles on their faces.

●●●

As the chapel doors finally closed, the three women stood still in the nave, the smiles on their faces finally replaced with concerned frowns.

“Mother, is Helen and the child going to be alright?” Sister Lina asked Mother Betha, concern evident in her eyes, as the pastor stared at the closed doors. “The way the child was acting was too unusual.”

“I don’t know Lina. I don’t know if the child was supposed to behave that way, but we have no way of finding out. All I know is the content of the message the Holy See sent. ‘Protect the mother and the child who goes by the name of ‘Arte.’”

The Holy See was the headquarters of the Holy Mother Church, located in the city of Mater, the capital of the Zarath Theocracy. It was responsible for overseeing the Church’s operation and makes sure that all its dioceses across the world functioned as it should, which meant that it had the authority to issue commands to all chapels and cathedrals under its authority.

But receiving direct orders from the Holy See itself was actually rare, as it usually released orders to Archbishops and Bishops, who were then responsible for disseminating those orders to the lower hierarchy of the clergy.

“There’s certainly something special about that child if The Holy See is putting its full attention on him. I just hope that the attention is for the good of the child.” Mother Betha said as she prayed for the well-being of the mother and son.

“They’re going to be alright. It’s Helen we’re talking about, after all.” Sister Tillie said with a confident face. Spending a few months living with Helen gave her the chance to witness the tenacity of the young mother, a tenacity she would surely use to take good care of her son.

Despite their initial worries, Sister Lina and Mother Betha both agreed with Sister Tillie’s statement.

“Let’s just pray you’re right.” Sister Lina said as she left for the kitchen to prepare the day’s meal.

●●●

I’m still depressed over my realization of being reincarnated, but the incident with the ginger candy earlier still lingered in my mind and in my taste buds. Crazy old hag.

I’ve eaten ginger candy before when I was still alive, er, in my previous life. I didn’t like it then, but I could tolerate the taste. But the ginger candy earlier was on another level. I don’t think they even put sugar in it. Get your recipe right, you senile crone.

The young woman carrying me, who was called Helen by the old hag and the other women earlier, was currently talking to me as she walked on a snow-covered street.

“You really got me worried there, sweetie. Don’t do that again, okay?”

Sorry lady, but I can’t guarantee that I won’t suffer another anxiety attack in the future. In fact, you should expect me to do this again in the future. Sorry, but that’s just me.

“Sorry if mommy panics at times, okay? I’m not used to being a mommy yet, but you can rest assured that I will take very good care of you.”

Helen was looking at my face with such a gentle and loving expression that it hurts. I don’t deserve this.

“Woah, calm down sweetie, stop squirming. The ground is slippery and you wouldn’t want to fall on the snow now, would you?”

When I heard what Helen said, I immediately stopped wriggling in my blankets. The last thing I wanted was to fall face-first into the snow with my arms restricted by the blankets wrapped around me.

When I looked at Helen’s face again, she looked shocked, as if she didn’t expect me to actually listen to her words. I can hear you just fine, lady. Carry on.

Helen stared at me for a few more seconds and just decided to hug me closer. The position of my head was raised so that I could see the place around us. And my jaw dropped.

It was still dark, but a few rays of the sun was finally illuminating some of the buildings around us. All the buildings and houses were made of wood, and they looked old. Not just the age of the houses, but the design of the houses itself was old. Do people even build houses that look like that?

Some of the nicer wooden houses looked normal with just a bit of weird designs I haven’t seen in modern housings, but the rest of the houses looked weird. Most of them were made out of what looked like cheap wood, and the roofs of the houses were built out of straw. I didn’t know if I’m being rude or nice enough with my description, but they looked more like barns than houses.

As Helen continued to walk through the crisscrossing streets, more houses with thatched roofs came into view, and I also noticed the lampposts, or more like lantern-posts. They were short, at just two meters tall, and at the top hanged a lantern.

As the sun’s rays finally illuminated everything clearly, people started coming out of the houses. And again, they looked old. Not the age, but their clothing styles. I guess I should call it ‘old-school.’ Most of the women wore clothes with large skirts that reached their ankles, while the men wore simple shirts that reached past their hips, leather boots, and medieval-looking trousers. Am I on some Medieval cosplaying town or something? If that’s the case, then these people must be very dedicated to their roles. Heck, that man even got the teeth right, all black and rotting.

As we passed by more Medieval cosplayers, I finally saw something that made me doubt my earlier conclusion of these people being cosplayers.

A group of gruff-looking men passed us by while carrying large bows strapped to their shoulders. Two of them were carrying a long wooden pole that skewered a… thing… that looked like a large boar. Except that it had four eyes, four big-ass tusks, and hooves made of what looked like metal. That’s just a prop… right?

But when the smell hit me, I realized it was not. Oh god, what is that thing?!

When I looked at the other people walking on the street, they just had passive expressions, not even sparing another glance in the boar’s direction. As if it was normal. Wait a minute. Wait just a goddamn minute.

Everywhere else, I finally saw other things which were not normal. I saw a cow with two heads, chickens that were as large as children, and a person that was definitely not a human. The green skin and sharp teeth gave it away. Oh God…

I looked at Helen, and her face still had the same stupid doting expression as she cooed over me, talking about making me her favorite soup or something. But my mind was on another thing. I’m not on Earth. There’s no way in hell I’m still on Earth… and I won’t ever see Christine again.

I should have felt sad, and I did feel a bit gloomy. But what I mostly felt was relief. I knew it was a shitty feeling to have, but I couldn’t help it. I don’t have to face her. I don’t have to explain myself to her.

I felt guilty, but the relief that washed over me overpowered that guilt as I finally managed to relax a bit, although I’m still dealing with the fact that I’m not on Earth. Come to think of it, the simple fact that I reincarnated should have been proof enough that I’m not on Earth. Reincarnation was in the realm of magic and religion back on Earth, and I’m pretty sure they haven’t proved it yet.

I just decided to relax back into Helen’s arms and listen quietly as she kept talking to me, this time about the stretch marks she got while giving birth to me.

●●●

Helen finally got back to her— I mean, our house, although calling it a hovel would be more apt. A small wooden house with thatched roofs stood in front of us, which looked very similar to the other barn-like dwellings I saw earlier.

When Helen opened the old wooden door with a loud creak, I finally saw the house I would be living in for the next few years. The ceiling was about two and a half meters from the ground, and the single-story house was partitioned into two rooms with thin wooden walls. The main room, which we just entered, had a dining table along with some wooden chairs. I assumed the living room also functioned as the dining room. On one corner of the main room was a messy collection of chests and fabrics, along with a smaller table with sewing paraphernalia scattered on top of it. Looked like Helen knew how to sew.

She continued walking to the smaller room on the other side of the house, which turned out to be her bedroom. It was a mess. The bed was unmade and the floor was littered with clothes and underwear. The small cabinet beside the closed window was wide open, spilling out various clothes and garments. I hope Helen learns to be more organized in her stuff as she gets more used to being a mother. I’m not exactly an organized person myself, and a single messy person is enough for a small house like this one.

Helen crossed the mess that was her room and placed me on the smaller cot beside her bed and buried my body in thick blankets, leaving my head peeking out of the sheets.

“Wait there for just a moment sweetie, I’ll make you some of my favorite soup so you’ll grow up big and healthy!” Helen said with a big grin on her face. You’re not supposed to feed vegetable soup to a newborn baby, woman!

Unfortunately, I couldn’t speak properly with my mouth yet and Helen just giggled at my ‘baby talk.’

As Helen left the room, I had nothing I could do to pass the time, so I just chose to sleep. My body was craving for it anyway. I was too tired from the emotional rollercoaster I just experienced earlier, and my young body demanded more sleep. I squirmed my body inside the thick woolen sheets that smelled like dust to get a comfortable position, and drifted off to sleep.

●●●

I woke up with a jolt as I felt something touch my nose. I looked up and saw Helen was carrying me again in her arms, her finger hovering over my fave after poking my nose with it.

“You’re finally awake, sleepyhead. I cooked up some soup for you,” Helen said with a big smile.

I looked over at the table and saw a steaming broth with floating vegetables. I couldn’t identify some of the things in there, which made me really reluctant to partake in any of them.

“Open your mouth, Brogen. Say aahhh.” Helen lifted a small wooden spoon filled with the vegetable soup towards my mouth. I tried shaking my head to tell her babies can’t digest that stuff, but she just giggled at me and pried my mouth open with the spoon. Wait! Be gentle! Be bleurgh—

“Now now, sweetie, veggies will make you strong, so you have to eat a lot!” Helen said as she stuck the spoon in my mouth.

The soup was dripping all over my mouth as she withdrew the spoon. I couldn’t swallow all of it, so the rest just spilled out of my mouth. What the hell is wrong with these people?! They just keep sticking any food they could find into my mouth!

I shook my head left and right as I struggled in Helen’s arms, but the insane woman wasn’t having any of it and just continued on sticking spoonfuls of soup into my mouth with a motherly smile on her face.

The only thing I was thankful for was the fact that she wasn’t feeding me the vegetables. I wouldn’t want my second chance at life to end shortly because of choking from a piece of veggie while being spoon-fed by an ignorant mother.

Helen didn’t register any of my complaints during the entire time, but she did receive the complaints from my tummy a few minutes later. And cleaned it up too.

●●●

For the second time this day, Helen Arte had no idea what to do.

When she was cooking her vegetable soup for Brogen earlier, she was pretty sure it was a good decision. Brogen was already a few weeks old, and Helen thought it was old enough for babies to digest food. Mother Betha only told her to not feed Brogen any solid food ‘for a while,’ and Helen was pretty confident that a few weeks was quite a long while. Up until Brogen started filling his cloth diapers at a rapid pace. That’s when she realized she messed up.

Right now, Helen was cradling her son in her arms with a guilty blush on her face as Brogen glared at her silently. She was sitting by the dining table, the same spot where she fed Brogen earlier with her ‘healthy’ soup. An hour had passed since then.

“Haha… sorry about earlier sweetie, I didn’t know babies had, er, sensitive tummies even after a few weeks after childbirth. But I know what to do this time!” Helen said confidently as she pulled her shirt up to reveal one of her breasts. When Brogen saw that, his eyes popped wide open as understanding dawned on his face. He squirmed in Helen’s arms, but Helen misunderstood it as reluctance after the incident earlier with the soup.

“Don’t worry Brogen, I know what I’m doing this time. Mommy’s milk will make you big and strong!”

As Helen pulled her son closer to her breast, Brogen squirmed harder in her arms in an attempt to get away from her. His reaction reminded Helen of what she did earlier and made her feel the guilt all over again. The possibility that Brogen was squirming out of embarrassment never crossed her mind since she had already been breastfeeding him dozens of times for the past weeks.

In the end, Helen had a satisfied smile on her face when Brogen finally started breastfeeding. Although she noticed that he was a bit too enthusiastic about it.

●●●

“Good morning Tillie! Is Linny not up yet?”

Helen greeted Sister Tillie as she entered the chapel doors. She was carrying me in her arms, as usual. Sister Tillie glanced at the two of us, her blond hair shining in the rays of the rising sun behind us, and smiled.

“Good morning, Helen. I believe Sister Lina is still drooling on her sheets at this time, although Mother Betha is already making her way upstairs. We will be hearing from them shortly.”

Sister Tillie had a gentle smile on her face even though she knew Sister Lina was probably gonna get a whooping from the old hag. Her calm and gentle demeanor was pretty creepy when I looked at her. I’m pretty sure it was just a facade to disguise the sadist hiding inside her. Note to self: don’t piss off Sister Tillie.

A week had already passed after my first experience with breasts. Er, I mean, breastfeeding. It was pretty embarrassing at first, but then my baby instincts took over every time and all I felt was hunger and the need to sate it. Plus, the fact that I go hungry without breastfeeding every few hours gave me all the chance I needed to get used to it.

During the past week, I learned several things during my stay with Helen back at the house.

First of all, I had no father. I didn’t know if he left Helen or something, but I’m pretty sure I won’t be seeing him anytime soon. Helen wasn’t mentioning anything about my father either, so it’s probably safe to conclude that Helen’s family only consisted of me and her.

Secondly, Helen worked at the local chapel, helping the old hag and her two nuns with everyday errands and chores. Apparently, this ‘Mother Betha’ took her in when she could’t find employment due to her pregnancy. In exchange for helping around the chapel, Helen never had to worry about going hungry. Looks like this ‘Mother Betha’ is a decent person after all. I’m still calling her an old hag, though. I’m not letting go of the ginger candy incident anytime soon.

Lastly, and the most mind-boggling thing, is that magic is real. When I saw the old hag perform some kind of magic on a random dude a few days ago, I was so shocked that I shit my cloth diaper. Luckily, Helen always brought spares.

After my first sight of magic, I immediately tried it myself by imagining light to appear before me, just like what happens when the old hag cast her spell. Unfortunately, it wasn’t that simple, and nothing happened even after I tried multiple times. I even tried concentrating my mind to sense the mana around me like what I usually read in some of the fantasy novels back on Earth. It only resulted in another soiled diaper when I ‘concentrated’ too much. But even with that failure, I wasn’t giving up on magic. It’s magic, for God’s sake!

My mind suddenly snapped back into the present as I heard a loud thud coming from the ceiling. The nave’s ceiling was made of wood, so it was actually easy to hear if a person was stomping upstairs. And judging by the volume of the thud I heard earlier, that was probably the sound of Sister Lina falling to the floor after being pulled out of bed by Mother Betha. Again.

“Looks like Sister Lina is finally ready for her work.” Sister Tillie said, still with that creepy gentle smile.

“Haaa, Linny never changes, does she?” Helen just chuckled as she and Sister Tillie proceeded to their daily work. I’m amazed how Helen is already up and about even though she just gave birth several weeks ago. Helen usually left me in one of the rooms upstairs every time she worked, which was fine by me. Sleeping all day with no other responsibility to worry about is heaven for me, and my young body needed a lot of it so I could grow. I only woke up when it was breastfeeding time or when Helen was done with the day’s work.

But this time though, Helen didn’t leave me in the usual place. Instead, she went to a small room behind the altar, which featured a statue of a woman with her arms stretched forward and palms facing upward, as if she was asking the observer to place their hands on top of hers. I’m assuming she’s the ‘Holy Mother’ that everyone seemed to be worshipping.

The room Helen entered was pretty bare, the only furniture being a small table and two chairs. There were no windows in the room, and the only source of illumination was a lantern placed atop the table. I first thought a few days ago that the lanterns used oil as fuel, but I later learned that they used these little magic crystals to power them. Magic is awesome.

Helen sat down on one of the chairs and waited. I had no idea what she was waiting for, but my confusion didn’t last as Helen started talking excitedly to me.

“We’re here to get your magic aptitude test, Brogen! Are you excited? If you grow up to be a mage, we can finally move out of our dingy little house and eat all the food we want!”

The excitement in Helen’s eyes was palpable, but she wasn’t the only one who was brimming in eagerness. Holy moly, will I finally be able to cast magic?! Wait, what’s a magic aptitude test? Judging by the name, it was probably a test to find out whether I could cast magic, but I wasn’t sure of it yet.

When that thought crossed my mind, I suddenly grew nervous. What if I can’t cast magic? Will Helen be disappointed in me? Wait, when the hell did I ever care about Helen’s opinion of me?

The door suddenly opened and Mother Betha walked in, carrying some kind of device with a single wire sticking snaking out of it. She placed the device on top of the table as she seated herself on the opposite chair.

“Good morning, Mother.”

“Good morning, Helen. I see that you came to the chapel quite early. Sister Lina isn’t even dressed yet. Excited for the test, are we?” Mother Betha said with a wry grin.

“Yeah,” Helen replied as she hugged me tighter. “Brogen’s aptitude is the only chance that could change our lives.”

“That’s not true, child.” Mother Betha admonished Helen with a wag of her finger. “A magical aptitude is not the only way to become successful in life. If it is, then only one in every one thousand people could be successful in the world. And that’s not the case, isn’t it?”

Helen blushed a bit at the Pastor’s rebuke. “No, not really. There are a lot of ordinary people who became rich without having the ability to use magic.”

“Being rich is not the sole indicator of success, Helen.” Mother Betha sighed as if she was talking to a child. “But anyway, we’re not here to talk about the meaning of success in life. We’re here for Brogen’s test.”

Helen nodded, but I could see that her eyes were still burning with curiosity, probably about what the pastor meant earlier about success in life. I have questions about her philosophy, and I don’t really agree with her. Although being rich was not an indication of success, it did make it easier for a person to achieve it. If I was rich in my previous life, I wouldn’t have been depressed and sad all the time. I think.

“This device will be measuring the mana pool that Brogen has,” Mother Betha said as she gestured to the device. “The glow of the light crystal will determine whether Brogen has the potential to qualify as a mage.”

I took a look at the measuring device. Sitting on the table is a black metal box with a clear spherical crystal placed on a slot. Connected to the metal box was a black wire whose other end held a small circular plate that looked just like a chest piece of a stethoscope.

“The brighter the glow, the more mana he has,” Mother Betha said as she started fiddling with what must be small buttons on the side of the metal box facing her.

“How will we know if he has the required mana to become a mage?” Helen asked the same question I had in my mind. I’m pretty sure measuring the brightness of a light by eye wouldn’t be accurate, especially if the one doing it was an old hag who probably had cataracts in her eyes.

“A smaller crystal attached here at the side will glow red if he has the minimum amount of mana needed.”

The pastor showed us a crystal the size of a pearl attached to the side of the box where the buttons to operate the device were located. The device strangely looked modern for a medieval world.

“So, are you ready?” Mother Betha asked. Helen hesitated for a bit and then nodded.

“Alright, then let’s start. I still have a mass to lead this morning.” Mother Betha walked over to our side of the table and placed the chest piece right over where my heart is. The piece of metal was cold on my skin, and the pastor was pressing it down on my chest. The silence of the room was making me nervous, and I involuntarily looked at Helen’s face. Her eyes looked worried, but she had her usual gentle smile, and it calmed me immediately.

Mother Betha turned off the lantern that served as the only source of light, plunging the room into darkness. I felt Helen tense as she cradled me. After a while, a dim white light started glowing. It wasn’t enough to illuminate the entire tabletop, but it was slowly getting brighter. The crystal on the device was finally showing me the amount of mana pulsing inside my body. My attention was focused on the light.

For a few more seconds, the light kept growing brighter, but after about half a minute, the intensity stopped increasing. The intensity of the light was similar to a smartphone with a half-brightness setting. And the smaller crystal at the side wasn’t glowing.

I failed the test.

I could feel Helen squirming a bit in her seat. My nervousness caused my heartbeat to go faster. A feeling of shame and guilt permeated through my body. Why am I feeling like this?! It’s just a test!

But I knew deep inside that it wasn’t just a test. Helen put all her hope in me so I could change our life for the better, but I was failing her. I already told myself that I didn’t care about Helen’s opinion of me, but my feelings didn’t lie.

When Mother Betha finally turned the lantern back on, I immediately looked down, making sure I couldn’t see Helen’s face. I didn’t want to see the disappointment on her face, especially if I was the cause of it. I couldn’t bear it. My eyes were tearing up, and memories of Christine were starting to surface. That was what I feared, wasn’t it?

I feared seeing Christine’s disappointment when she learned of my suicide. That was why I despaired when I realized I reincarnated. That was the same reason why I felt relief when I found out I was in another world because I knew I wouldn’t have to face her again. But why am I feeling this way with Helen? She’s not my real mother. My mother is dead. She’s not my real family.

My mind rejected Helen, but my feelings showed the opposite. Tears were flowing down my cheeks, and my lips trembled as I tried to hold back my sobs. A hand brushed away the tears, the same hand that caressed my head when I slept. A gentle voice whispered calming words to me, the same voice that reassured me every time I cried.

I looked up, and a young woman’s face was smiling at me, the same smiling face that greeted me when I woke up in this alien world. A mother’s smiling face. My mother’s smiling face.

And there was no trace of disappointment.