《Die, Dragon, Die!》55. Teatime
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Jet sat in a plush chair, a bone porcelain cup in one hand, fine steam curling off its surface. A low table laden with platters of tiny sandwiches and a teapot to match his cup sat before him, sandwiches untouched. Angel slouched beside him, still faintly green, and Elly sat upright beside her, as prim and proper as ever. Leo fidgeted in his chair, gripping his teacup tightly—it’s a small miracle he hasn’t shattered it, Jet noted. Backed into a corner beside Ravenna, Gideon sat in complete and utter silence, brows furrowed and arms crossed.
Opposite them, Ravenna perched on a white overstuffed armchair, sipping tea with a content smile on her face. Under her foot, a green dragon about as large as a pony laid, occasionally tensing. The dragon squirmed, and Ravenna pushed down with her foot. The green dragon quieted again, claws scraping impotently against the stone floor.
“Darling. You’ll scratch up the floor,” Ravenna purred.
The green dragon stiffened and laid still again.
Jet glanced at it from the corner of his eyes. That’s Kat, right? And… wasn’t she getting sent to the dungeon? Did Ravenna change her mind?
Kat stared back at him, a desperate plea in her eyes.
Jet looked away, joining the rest of the crew in pretending he saw nothing. You betrayed us. I’m not going to plead for your freedom. Do it yourself!
“So… what has my precious baby boy been up to?” Ravenna asked, looking around at them delightedly.
Elly sipped her tea and glanced at Jet. Angel stared dazedly into the middle distance. Leo stared at his feet, trembling. Gideon sunk deeper in his chair.
It’s on me to talk, huh? Jet thought. He took a deep breath, then sat forward and set his tea down. “Lady Rudine—”
“Please, call me Ravenna,” she interrupted him.
“Ravenna. Er… excuse me for asking, but… are you dragon nobility? I… forgive me for my ignorance, but I only just discovered that dragons have kings, after all,” Jet said, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment.
“Oh? However did you guess?” Ravenna asked, hiding a smile behind her hand.
Jet shrugged. “You never explained why the True Dragon wanted to kill Gideon, so I assume… Gideon must be in the running for the throne?”
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“In the running? Oh dear. I haven’t heard something so funny in a long time,” Ravenna said, chuckling. She shook her head, temporarily overcome by her laughter. “Oh, just a moment, just a moment, please…”
“Ravenna was the dragon king before the king… before the king. Two kings ago, she was king. The dragon king grandma,” Gideon explained, still slouched in his chair.
“Gideon, you can call me Mom, you know?” Ravenna said gently.
“Over my dead body,” Gideon grumbled.
She turned to Jet and sighed, shaking her head. “Ah, the rebellious phase.”
Gideon scowled and turned away. “This is why I want to kill dragons.”
Jet stared at him deadpan. Oh, really? It’s not because you’re jealous that dragons can fly, or getting revenge for your mom… who’s hardly dead. He glanced at the very alive Ravenna and shook his head slightly. Or, what else was it, a natural human desire? An inborn self-preservation instinct? What bullshit! Though… it isn’t exactly surprising.
“That’s your natural urge to dominate dragonkind and take your true place as our king,” Ravenna cooed dotingly, reaching out to tousle his hair.
“It’s my natural urge to kill dragons,” Gideon grumbled, leaning away from her hand.
Jet glanced between Gideon and Ravenna. “If Gideon wants to kill dragons…”
Gideon nodded.
“And you fully support him becoming king, as the previous… er, previous-previous king, with all your incredible powers of political manipulation,” he said, looking at Ravenna.
Ravenna nodded. “Former king is acceptable.”
“Then… why is Gideon hiding out in our country?” Jet asked.
Gideon scowled. “I don’t want to be king, that’s why. Who wants to be surrounded by stinky dragons all day? I’d rather die.”
Ravenna tutted. “Don’t be dramatic, dear.” Turning to Jet, she smiled. “The problem lies in Gideon’s father.”
“Gideon’s… father?” Jet jolted in his chair. No. I can’t take any more Gideons! Much less immortal Gideons!
“If you recall, I told you I became enamored with human politics. That… was a bit of a lie. I didn’t only become enamored with your filthy politics,” Ravenna said quietly.
Filthy is a bit unnecessary, Jet thought, then blinked. “You—you mean, you married a—”
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“A duke, yes, a duke. The king at the time was terribly tiresome. Otherwise, Gideon would have a chance at both thrones. Ah, what an oversight…” Ravenna sighed.
Jet closed his eyes and breathed a quiet sigh of relief. Thank the High God. My faith has been restored on this day! Whatever ancient king Ravenna found tiresome, you have my eternal thanks! Gideon as king… might as well detonate the entire country at once!
“Though the duke did have a place in the line of succession,” Ravenna mused, putting a hand on her chin.
Jet quickly coughed before Ravenna could fall deeply into thought. Glancing at Gideon, he continued, “The point is, Gideon is only a half-dragon. He has human blood.”
Ravenna nodded. “Dragons are such boring beings. I can maneuver all day long, but there’s still hundreds of rogue dragons out there. The second the word of Gideon’s human blood gets out, it’ll be chaos. Never mind that he also has my blood, and the strength enough to destroy any dragon out there… well, to put it simply, he’d have to personally kill half of dragonkind before we could bring the dragons under control. If nothing else, it sounds like a horribly dull life.”
“I don’t mind killing dragons, but there’s such a thing as too much of a good thing. Besides, I’ll have to live in the dragon country. Surrounded by dragons. No humans, no cooked food, no buildings, let alone mattresses or outhouses… I’d spend the rest of eternity surrounded by filthy beasts miring in their own shit,” Gideon complained, wrinkling his lip in disgust.
“It isn’t as bad as he makes it sound… but yes, dragons are a bit more, er, savage, than humans,” Ravenna said, shaking her head. She gestured around her. “As you can see, even an ancient dragon like myself far prefers human civilization to the wild mountains of dragonkind.”
A thought came to Jet, and he looked at Ravenna from the corner of his eyes. “I don’t mean to insult you, but…”
“Oh, go on. Only good things start this way,” Ravenna said, eyes twinkling.
Jet cleared his throat. “The previous king beat Ravenna, and this king beat that king. Doesn’t that mean we stand no chance?”
Ravenna and Gideon exchanged a glance. A long beat of silence stretched, while the both of them stared at Jet. At last, Ravenna began to chuckle. Beside her, Gideon shook his head, smiling slightly despite himself.
“W-what? It’s a valid concern!” Jet replied.
“Oh, you sweet child. No, no. I stepped down. I could defeat the current boor whenever I pleased, and I could the one before him, too,” Ravenna sighed, almost bored.
Jet sat forward. “Then—”
“You have Gideon, no? It’s time for him to step up and take his place as king. After the Dragon King’s come to these desperate measures to draw him out, attracting everyone’s attention, if Gideon kills him… well, once they all see that raw strength for themselves, how could anyone doubt Gideon’s role as king?” Ravenna said.
Jet stared. She… she orchestrated all of this? This is nothing but an elaborate debut for her son? Our entire country… everyone’s deaths… Figaro! Images flashed before his eyes: bloody bodies, burning fields, the scream of the horses and the clash of steel weapons. Jet pressed a hand against his face to slow the images and tried to steady his breathing, but it was impossible. His chest heaved. This woman… isn’t she the ultimate evil? Moreso than the True Dragon, shouldn’t we—?
Gideon wrinkled his nose. “Thanks, mom. I already said I don’t want to be king. I don’t care what kind of ludicrous plots you come up with. Leave me out of them.”
“Oh, come on, dear, just try it. If it’s boring, you can step down. I did,” Ravenna said, shaking her head.
Jet jumped out of his chair and drew his sword. Teacups flew. The table crunched under his foot, and the teapot and tiny sandwiches went flying. In the space of a breath, his blade pushed into Ravenna’s throat.
“Tell me. Tell me why I shouldn’t kill you!” he shouted.
Beside Ravenna, Gideon nodded. “See? You finally understand it, Jet! See dragon, kill dragon.”
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