《Die, Dragon, Die!》51. Dance (If You Want To)

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Darkness stretched out before them, so black they could hardly see their hands in front of their faces. Gideon frowned at the darkness, then looked at the others. “Anyone have a light?”

Angel groped in her pants pocket and came up with a small copper medallion. Red lights glowed on the medallion’s surface, and a small flame came to life, hovering over the medallion’s heart.

“Huh,” Gideon said.

“Bought it a long time ago. Figured fire made more sense than light. Fire can be used to light a campfire, burn something down, er, you know, cook… light is only light,” Angel explained.

“Should’ve gone for lightning. You can make fires, you still have light, and, most importantly of all, it’s effective against dragons,” Gideon replied.

“It makes a very inefficient light. Conjuring bolts of lightning one after another that each only light up for a few seconds? Plus the noise… thunder isn’t particularly stealthy. Isn’t very atmospheric, either,” Angel replied.

“Atmospheric?” Gideon clarified.

Angel glanced at Kat, then shrugged. “You know, uh… I usually did an Angel and Demon kind of show, so… fire… you know. Mostly only did pyrotechnics outside… too risky on inside shows.”

“Ooooh, it was part of your stripping show,” Gideon said, nodding.

“It was more of a burlesque dance show… anyways,” Angel said, waving her hand.

Gideon gave her a look. “There was definitely stripping involved.”

“Well, yes, it was a burlesque… I mean, I had multiple choreographies. The one you watched was a bit more… er, adult,” Angel said.

“Multiple choreographies? You should show us,” Gideon said.

“Choreographies? Angel, you do real dancing, too?” Kat asked, her eyes wide.

Angel frowned. “I’d argue my combat dancing is the realest dancing out there. Not everyone can conjure mana by dancing.”

“Yeah, but it’s just…” Kat wiggled her hips and waved her arms in a poor approximation of Angel’s dance. “It’s boring! And you do the same thing every time. I don’t understand why Gideon likes you.”

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“There’s only so many ways to move to summon mana! Besides, do you know how many people can truly call themselves dancers? Bardic magic is a lost art! I’m far rarer than… than those boring sluts who strut on stage and do nothing but wiggle their hips!” Angel burst out, frustrated.

“Yeah, but you have to admit, they do it well,” Gideon said with a scholarly demeanor, one hand on his chin.

“Yeah! Angel’s dance is so boring. Boring, boring!” Kat sang. Her voice echoed off the hallway, bouncing off the walls.

“Oh yeah? Let’s see you do better, little girl,” Angel said, a glimmer of condescention in her eyes.

Kat scowled deeply. “Little girl? I’m a grown woman!”

Both Gideon and Angel chuckled at that.

She stomped her foot, indignant. “I am! Stop laughing!”

“Then prove it. Show me your dance,” Angel replied, hands on her hips.

Gideon put a hand out. “No, no. There’s no need.”

Both Kat and Angel looked at him.

He shook his head. “There’s nothing sexy about a little girl shaking her hips. It’ll just look disgusting. I’m not that kind of pervert, after all.”

Angel burst out laughing. “Fair enough.”

Kat stomped again, her face red. “Shut up! Shut up! I’m grown! I’m older than Angel!”

“Sure you are, sweetie,” Angel said, patting Kat’s head.

“Eh, are you?” Gideon asked, raising his eyebrows. “But wouldn’t that make you… a dragon?”

Kat froze.

Angel waved her hand. “She’s just throwing a tantrum. Don’t pay her too much attention.”

“Is that what you expected me to think? Kat… I’ve suspected you for a while now. And now… I’m sure.” Gideon reached for his tome.

“Wait, wait, wait!” Angel said, stepping between the two of them. “You’re going to kill her over a tantrum?”

Gideon paused. He looked at Angel. “I mean… yes?”

Angel paused as well. “No, I can kind of see where you’re coming from.”

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Kat cowered. She looked at Angel with a pitiful look on her face.

“…but we can’t just kill brats because they’re throwing tantrums,” Angel finished.

Gideon looked at Kat and crossed his arms. “So? The gig is up. Why’d you insist on coming with me? Just the two of us in this dark… what were you going to do with me, huh? Were you going to take advantage of this poor, pitiful mage while I couldn’t fight back and had no one to defend me?”

“Alright, your phrasing is a whole mess,” Angel said, putting her hands up. “Also, I am here. Don’t immediately forget about me when it favors you.”

Kat shrank back. She turned big eyes toward Gideon. “I… I’m just a kid. You…”

Gideon gestured her on, propping his hand cockily on his hip, and coincidentally on his tome as well. “Come on, out with it. Here we are, as isolated as we’re going to get. What’s Angel going to do, wiggle her hips at you? I already know what you are. Come at me, dragon.”

A distant, scratchy scream caught everyone’s ear. Gideon and Angel whipped around to face it.

“Leo?” Gideon muttered.

In that instant, Kat’s expression turned from innocent to vicious. She threw herself at Gideon, limbs out, mouth wide open. Mid-leap, green scales crawled over her body, and her limbs contorted. Pearly white fangs spread wide. Vicious claws curved toward Gideon. A small green dragon hurtled at him, ready to strike.

“Ah, so that’s what you were waiting for!” Gideon shouted, throwing his hand out. Lightning sparked in his palm.

A cloaked figure dropped from the ceiling, dagger bared. Angel shrieked. Gideon whipped around, and the lightning slammed into the cloaked figure instead. Kat collided with Gideon, and the two rolled over the floor. Blood streaked after them, soaking into the dusty rug underfoot.

“Gideon!” Angel screamed.

“Dance, dammit!” Gideon shouted back.

“As if I’ll let you!” Kat snarled, heaving back her head. The pressure around them suddenly changed as all the air in the room compressed in Kat’s jaws.

Gideon’s face twisted. He hammered Kat with his fists, but his blood continued to soak into the floor. Deep gashes revealed mangled flesh beneath his robes, and Kat’s claws only dug deeper.

“Come out, already. Come out, you hypocrite!” Kat shouted joyfully. She hauled back her head and released a blast of wind into Gideon’s chest.

Gideon let out a dull huff. His chest caved in. In the flickering firelight, his already pale face paled further. Blood oozed out the corner of his mouth, and he trembled, biting back a scream.

Angel paled. She rushed forward, then hesitated, not sure what to do. “Gideon! Elly, come here! Elly!”

“Ha, were we wrong? Then die. Die like the worm you are!” Kat howled, overjoyed.

“I’m… no wyrm!” Gideon replied. He frowned at her, deeply insulted.

“Then—”

A heavy clang rang out. Kat fell back, dazed. Angel stood over Gideon, chest heaving, clutching a fire poker in both hands. Wide-eyed, she shouted, “Fuck off, you dumb lizard!”

“You’re… getting there…” Gideon gasped. He clutched his wounds, blood leaking everywhere.

“Stop, stop talking. I’ll… go get Elly…” Angel turned.

Gideon shook his head. “No, don’t… don’t go. They’re… probably… dealing with… whatever else Kat brought along. I…” He broke off, coughing. He gestured her closer.

“Gideon?” Angel asked, kneeling.

He gave her a sheepish look. “Er… could you look the other way? It’s a bit embarrassing to show people my naked body.”

On the other side of the hall, Jet sneezed suddenly. He rubbed his nose and frowned. I feel like someone just said something incredibly hypocritical…

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