《Die, Dragon, Die!》21. The Heist
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Angel slithered down the vent, inching her way through the smooth stone passage. Gideon glanced down from above. “How’s it going? Can you see the exit?”
“It would be going a lot better if I could see,” Angel grunted, looking up the vent at him.
Gideon looked around, brows furrowing in confusion. “It is oddly cloudy today.”
Angel stared into his eyes for another beat, then sighed. Giving up on getting more light in the vent, she wriggled downward. A small magical circle came into view by her head, a pale white stone faintly glowing in its center. As she passed, a rush of wind blew by her into the depths. Angel shivered, scowling at the icy blast. She wiggled down a little faster, hurrying away from the cold. “You didn’t mention it’d be cold.”
“I didn’t think you’d get naked to go spelunking,” Gideon replied with a shrug.
Rolling her eyes and muttering curses under her breath, Angel continued downward. The vent continued, on and on, descending into the earth. Gideon watched from on high, biting his lip.
“You don’t have to stare at my tits the whole way down,” Angel commented, wriggling deeper.
“I don’t have to,” Gideon agreed.
Angel sighed.
“Right there!” Kat said, pointing.
Gideon snapped around. Jet and Elly stood silhouetted at the end of the alleyway. Elly looked at him, her head tilted in confusion, and Jet scowled, arms crossed.
“Fancy seeing you two here. Come to visit the red-light district together? Kinky. I didn’t know you two were so close already,” Gideon greeted them with a smile. He leaned casually against the wall, letting his robes fall over the opened vent and hide it.
“Hey! I can’t see anything!” Angel hissed.
Gideon coughed, covering up the sound of her voice.
Elly took an awkward step away from Jet, a faint blush appearing on her cheeks. “We came here for you, Gideon.”
“Oh sure, sure. That’s what everyone says,” he replied, grinning.
“Everyone says ‘we came here for you, Gideon,’ when they go to the whore street?” Kat asked.
“I’m only the most handsome attraction in the red light district. It’s only natural,” he replied, tossing his hair luxuriously. It fell around his head in clumps, a bit oily and dirty to toss properly.
“What are you up to?” Jet asked, eyes narrowed.
Gideon tutted. “That’s the first thing you say when you see me? No trust, honestly. Elly, can you believe it? This man can’t trust anyone. He’s no good for you, really.”
“Gideon,” Jet warned him.
A low thump rang up the vent. Gideon glanced down. Angel gave him the thumbs up from the distant bottom and hurried out of sight, toward the vault door.
“No, no, the other one,” he called quietly, covering his mouth with a sleeve. He shot a glance at Jet, who frowned at him.
Angel froze, then turned around. She looked around her, then pointed at one of the doors.
“The other-other one.”
Turning a one-eighty, Angel pointed again. Gideon gave her a subtle thumbs-up.
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“What are you doing? Who are you talking to?” Jet asked, walking closer.
“Uhhh… it’s, uh, a new type of play. You know, that kind of play. You should probably get Kat out of here before it gets really kinky,” he said, risking another peep down the vent.
“Gideon. Tell the truth, or I’ll take your tome back,” Jet growled.
“I am telling the truth! Do you want to contribute to the delinquency of a minor? It’s not my fault if she gets corrupted, okay? I warned you!” Gideon said defensively, putting his hands up. He shifted slightly, putting the hip with his tome behind him, out of Jet’s reach.
Elly frowned at Gideon as well. “Gideon, if you tell the truth, we can help you. Just tell us what’s happening. I’m sure you have a good reason.”
“I do, I do have a good reason, that’s a very good point, Elly,” Gideon agreed.
“So? Out with it,” Jet demanded.
A low click rang up the vent, followed by the scrape of wood and the squeal of hinges. Good. She’s getting close!
Jet glanced downward, where his robe covered the vent. He loomed over Gideon, glaring down at the other man. “What’s that? What are you hiding?”
“I’m not hiding anything,” Gideon insisted, standing his ground.
Jet raised the pendant. “Gideon…”
“Zap me! Zap me like you always do, daddy!” Gideon shouted, grinning mischievously at Jet.
Jet pressed his lips together. His face reddened with anger, and a vein throbbed on his forehead.
“What the fuck,” Angel muttered from the vent.
Jet glanced down. “Who was that?”
“No one. Nothing,” Gideon said, moving to block the vent with his whole body.
Jet pressed the pendant.
“Ow! Hey.”
“You told me to,” Jet pointed out, his face stony.
Gideon paused for a second, then shrugged. “I guess I did.”
Jet grabbed him by the shoulder. “Enough stalling.”
“Jet! Ah! Don’t touch me there!” Gideon squealed, twisting away from Jet.
Elly whipped around and stared at them. Kat covered her eyes and hunkered down.
“That was your shoulder,” Jet replied, tired.
“It’s an erogenous zone for me,” Gideon declared, equally deadpan, looking him dead in the eyes.
“Liar.”
Gideon sighed. “He doesn’t believe a word I say. How disgusting. No trust at all!”
Jet shoved him to the side. Gideon stumbled. A book fell out of his robes.
Instantly, Jet snatched it up and stepped back, holding it up for all to see. “Now your precious tome belongs to me. What’s happening?”
Elly gasped and blushed. Kat peeked, then made a disgusted face and turned away again.
Gideon covered his grin with a hand and looked aside at Jet. “Oh dear, Jet, I didn’t know you were also a fan.”
Jet turned to look at the book in his hand. Bound in black with yellow accents, it looked like Gideon’s tome, except that the yellow accents were in the shape of a handsome man and a beautiful woman, her head tipped back, crying out in ecstasy. Fluct Me Harder was written in bold letters across the top of the book, bright enough for all to see.
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As if burned, Jet threw the book on the floor and stepped away from it. “You—shameless…”
“It’s just a bit of romantic literature, Jet. From the way you’re acting, you’d think it was some unholy dark tome,” Gideon sighed, shaking his head. “Don’t tell me, have you never read a spot of romantic literature in your life? I’ll do you a favor and loan this one to you, it’s pretty good. I know you’re a soldier, not used to reading, but there’s nice illustrations to help you out in the more intense parts. You’ll enjoy it.”
A siren sounded out, bouncing up the vent. Angel’s voice echoed up the vent. “Shit! Gideon, the thing was trapped. I’ve got the stone, but we’ve got trouble.”
Jet whirled, forgetting the book. “Gideon! What was that?”
“Angel, we’ve got company up here. Can you get out another way?” Gideon muttered down the vent.
A heavy thump was his answer, followed by scraping, then another thump. Distant shouting and a series of dull impacts chased soon after.
Angel scrambled up into the vent, crawling her way back up it, the stone in one hand. “Fuck you! This is the fucking Count’s manor? Fuck! I can hear guards coming right now. There’s no time!”
“The Count’s manor? Gideon, what have you done?” Jet asked, aghast.
“Nothing,” Gideon said.
“Gideon…”
“No, really. I just sat up here the whole time. I’m completely blameless,” Gideon said, spreading his hands to Jet.
Jet’s expression darkened. “Give me that tome.”
Gideon backed away. “Absolutely not. Over my dead body.”
Jet raised the pendant. “We can make that happen.”
“Jet, no,” Elly warned, stepping forward.
“Try it, zappy boy. You can’t kill the True Dragon without me,” Gideon replied, crossing his arms.
“I can take your tome and give it to another mage,” Jet said, eyes narrowed.
Gideon sighed dramatically. “Paladins are always so—the tome is a very nice tome, yes, but the tome is not what makes the mage, unlike you enchantment-using paladin babies. Give my tome to another lightning mage. Sure. Do it. They’ll struggle to kill a single wyvern, let alone a lesser dragon. The power is in me, Jet. The tome is just how I channel it. There’s no way around me.”
“We’ll find another mage. You aren’t the only powerful mage out there,” Jet snarled.
Gideon laughed. “Good luck. No, really. Good luck finding someone stronger than me. You’d have a better chance fighting the True Dragon one-on-one.”
Jet jabbed the pendant. Gideon shrieked, tugging at his collar. He stumbled back and fell to the ground, and the collar still burned red. Screaming in pain, he thrashed around on the floor.
“I warned you. It can get much stronger,” Jet said, glaring down at Gideon.
Hands wiggled through the edge of the vent. Angel popped out, gasping for air. She leaned against the vent and stared at both of the men, who stared back at her, Gideon even forgetting to thrash for a moment. “Fuck, just whip them out already.”
Jet blinked, his brows furrowed in confusion.
She gestured, the stone in hand. “The two of you, whip out your dicks. I’ve got a measuring tape right here. We can figure out whose is bigger, and then the two of you can both calm the fuck do—hey!”
Jet snatched the stone out of her hand. He stared at it. “Isn’t this the stone from the Count’s necklace?”
“It’s some kind of sealing stone or something? I don’t know, little guy wanted it. I’m just the hired help,” Angel said, climbing out of the vent.”
“Hey,” Gideon snapped, glaring at Angel.
“Hey, yourself. I don’t rob nobility without a hefty premium, you damn liar,” Angel returned.
“Sealing stone…” Jet’s eyes landed on Gideon’s collar.
Gideon adjusted it self-consciously. “What? I was just borrowing it. I’d give it back when I was done.”
“Just borrowing it? Borrowing it!” Jet said, scowling. Borrowing it, sure. Sealing stones work both ways. They can seal and unseal, including breaking sealing enchantments. He was trying to unseal the collar, the damn criminal! Once the collar was gone, what’s holding him back? I bet he’d have raced right off, sealing stone in hand, and sold whatever remained to the highest bidder.
Elly looked at the stone in concern. “We have to return it.”
Gideon shook his head, sitting up. “No, no, look, if we return it, it’ll just cause more confusion, they’ll blame us. We should just—”
Jet jabbed the pendant again. “We’re returning it. Let’s go. And Gideon, give me that tome.”
“Fuck you! Make me,” Gideon scowled.
Jet stomped toward Gideon. Kat peeked around the corner, watching, her eyes wide.
Just as Jet’s hand closed on Gideon’s collar, Elly put her hand on his shoulder. “Jet, no.”
“He needs to be punished. Clearly the collar isn’t working,” Jet said.
Elly’s eyes blazed white. She stared into the distance, at something very far from them. “If you take his tome now… Gideon dies.”
“I’m starting to think that would be better for everyone,” Jet muttered under his breath. He shrugged off Elly’s hand and reached for Gideon.
Around the corner, Kat’s eyes got even more round. She hunkered behind the brick, almost afraid.
Elly slumped. She stumbled backward, her eyes no longer glowing but still blank. Blinking, she frowned around her and rubbed at her forehead. Her lips moved, but no words came out.
Angel stared around at all of them, her brows raised high. She snatched up her clothes and backed away, quickly yanking on her shirt and stepping into her pants, stomping her feet into her boots as she walked. “Alright. Well, since no one needs me, I’m just going to go…”
Jet yanked Gideon up and reached for the tome. “I’ve had enough of you. I really have.”
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