Chapter Four: Good Riddance

In final verse, she made it known, that their loving end had come, the heavens had wrought the doom of millions into the Titaness, but she was not alone.

Groaning, Briddy shoved her hair back behind her ears, attempting one last time to tie it tight with a length of cord and have it all stay tied. It wasn’t every day she got ready to leave her family home, indeed she couldn’t remember the last time she had spent more than a night away from these walls.

She couldn’t wait to get out. Apparently, neither could her hair, because just as she began to wrap the tail in the leather string, a chunk escaped, flopping forward and into her eye as though mocking her.

With a deep breath, she decided to leave it. An hour spent on fussing over her outfit was already too much, especially for the simplicity of the clothes, and if she continued fussing she was going to end up being as bad as Nolan.

Briddy finished off her horses’ tail and flung the long mass of heavy hair behind her shoulder, wrinkling her nose at her reflection in the mirror that hung on the wall. Her upturned nose was looking particularly swine-like today, and she felt like one large breath would result in a snuffling snort.

Tearing her eyes away from the looking glass, she smoothed down the thin-strapped top for the hundredth time, checked the pockets of the thick-clothed shorts, and tightened the laces on the brown boots which hugged her ankles. Another deep breath, in and out. She couldn’t delay this for much longer.

Straightening up, she turned towards the door to her room, rolling her shoulders as she looked at the flowing garment hung on the hooks nearby. The soft green and white cloth, looking so much like a heavy mist clinging to a morning meadow, waved of its own accord in gentle, slow undulations. The movement might’ve looked natural had the windows on the opposite wall been thrown open, but they remained tightly fastened without any hint of a draft.

“Sculptor be, that’s unsettling,” Briddy murmured, approaching the garment and gingerly taking it down. The way that it had clung to her in the Shroud shop hadn’t left her memory, but the fabric didn’t seem to be in a clingy mood as she slipped it on. It still felt cool, like water rippling over her skin without any hint of moisture, the school crest proudly emblazoned on her chest.

Tugging it on straight, Bridget took a step towards the door, pausing with her hand on its handle and partially turning her head towards the mirror next to it. She could see the outline of her shoulder beneath the fabric, see the spill of her tawny hair, but she turned away before looking further. She knew she wouldn’t be satisfied with what she saw.

Yanking the door open, she walked out into the hall, glancing towards the end that led to the stairs. It was time to face Kerr and the rest of the family, who hadn’t spoken to her since the shopping trip and interview a few days past. She made it all of three paces down the hall before changing her mind, turning towards Nolan’s door.

It had always used to be open, the stairs to her brother’s turret twisting upwards and inviting anyone who wanted to come in to climb up and see him. Nowadays the door was shut tight, dissuading any would-be visitors, but Briddy wasn’t going to let that stop her. Twisting the handle, she pulled it open, making sure to loudly close the door behind her so he knew she was coming. Gathered on the steps that circled upwards was a smattering of birds, pecking and cooing at each other and fluttering in and out of the paneless windows that lined the walls.

Making her way up the spiral stairs, Bridget realized she had no idea why exactly she was going to bother Nolan before going; if he had wanted to say goodbye he would’ve gone to the entry hall with everyone else. A short distance up, the birds exploded into a cacophony of squawks and screeches, irritably pecking at her and leaving trails of feathers as they exited the way they came.

She paused at the top, her hand raised in front of the second door in a knock. Should she just go? She’d end up either fighting with or being lectured by her brother again.

“Don’t just stand out there, it’s weird.” His voice floated through the cracks in the wood.

Grimacing, Briddy pushed the door open, taking a step into the interior.

She glanced around Nolan’s room, from the alphabetized bookcase on her right to the rainbow of color-coded jackets spilling out of the closet on the other end of his room. He was sitting at a desk pushed up against the wall opposite the door, several tomes and scrolls of parchment laid out before him in a neat row.

Briddy noticed that despite the fact that he was holding a twisted pen of glass in his hand, the nib was dry, and the parchment before him blank. Had he been waiting for her?

“So you’re going today.”

“Yes.”

“You don’t sound excited.” He laid the pen down, fiddling with something in front of him.

“I don’t know what to feel. Or expect, for that matter.”

“There’s good people there. You won’t be lonely.”

“I don’t care about being lonely.” Her throat tightened. “I don’t know what I’m doing. I didn’t have to take the entrance exams just because I’m an heir, so what if I get there and…”

Nolan turned in his seat, a dark eyebrow raised.

“So? There’s other heirs that attend the school too, it’s not like this is a unique case.”

“Those other heirs had bearers to teach them before coming in.”

“If they’re blood heirs, sure, they have parents to teach them. If they’re not, or if the previous bearer is dead, most of those kids have never summoned their relic once and can barely remember the name.” His nonchalance was grating, raising Bridget’s hackles.

Raising his hands, Nolan said “Look. I know that’s not what you want to hear, but it’s true. You’re there to learn, and you’re on an equal playing field in terms of physical skills, even if your magic is lacking. That’s better than most.”

“Equal playing field?” Bridget scoffed “I sparred Adelaide when she first started there, I’m nowhere near on a level with that.”

Nolan chuckled, standing and crossing the room to stand in front of her. “No one’s on a level with Adelaide here, except Kerr.” He put a hand on her shoulder. “You’re never going to be Adelaide.” He squeezed, gently, and added, “I think that’s probably for the best. One is enough.”

Briddy opened her mouth to reply but he cut her off, bringing up his other hand, which was closed in a fist. “Here. Wear this and stay out of trouble, and you’ll get through the Palanquin just fine.”

Nestled in the opening palm was a hair clip, intricately shaped into the many strands of a downy feather, cast entirely in delicate silver. A wire looped around the back to help secure it into place, and the entire ornament was the length of knuckle to fingertip.

Without waiting Nolan popped the wire off the small hook in the back, looping it under the chunk of hair that had escaped her horsetail and pinning it back against her head.

Gingerly, Bridget reached up to feel the dulled spikes along the edge of the pin, and then looked up at her little brother, whose mouth was twisted into some unknowable expression.

“Stay out of trouble? Seems a bit rich coming from you.” Her tone was gentle, teasing even.

“Well, you’re not me. Just keep your clip in and behave, try not to bring any more attention to yourself than you already have.”

She could feel that door closing again, and scrambled to try and keep it open. “Thank you, Nolan. It’s beautiful.”

“Of course it is, my taste is impeccable.” Nolan smoothed the pale grey shirt that clung to him

under a heavily embroidered coat emblazoned with bluebirds taking wing. “Just make sure you keep it in.”

“I’ll try.” Bridget paused, considering her next words. Should she ask him? See if he knew? But if she was wrong and he didn’t believe her, she could end up slamming that door for good.

“Nolan do y-”

“You should get going, your arrival time isn’t too far off, and you do not want to miss your window.” Her brother ushered her towards the door, hand firmly placed in the middle of her back.

“You could come down with me, you know.” She said, turning once he took it away.

The door shut in her face.

Letting a soft, slow sigh escape her lips, Bridget placed a hand on the door, feeling the smooth, polished wood underneath her palm for a moment before letting it drop. The birds were still gone as she made her way down the stairs, silence following her all the way out onto the central staircase at the end of the wing she shared with her siblings.

She paused there, looking over the balcony railing and down into the main hall where a small huddle of people stood near the entrance to the drawing-room. Adelaide was yawning sleepily, their parents fussing over her mussed hair and rumpled clothes with loving attention.

A quiet, soft smile filled Ruba’s mouth as she tucked a lock of unruly gold behind her daughter’s ear, murmuring something that made Adelaide share the smile, shaking her head and freeing the hair in the process. Kerr clapped her shoulder, tugging the shirt that was off-center on her shoulders back into place. He wasn’t smiling, but the constant line that normally creased his brow was gone, a warmth flickering in the depths of those grey eyes which were normally as cold as steel, and could cut just as well.

Briddy had never hated her sister more than in that moment. Her stomach twisted, hands shaking as they gripped the railing with such force that her knuckles turned white. It was one thing to lack a parent’s love who had no capability for it, but to see them lavish affection on Adelaide when they had shown nothing save anger towards their other daughter was agony.

“You’re never going to be Adelaide.” Nolan hadn’t known how true those words were.

Swallowing the lump that had risen in her throat, Briddy slowly made her way down the staircase.

She wished it was her. That much was clear when she looked at the hurt inside, that which she wanted more than anything; to have them look at her with the same eyes that tenderly looked at Adelaide. Head hanging slightly, Briddy bit her lip, using the pain to clear the emotion.

Maybe they had looked at her that way once, before she grew up and shattered their dreams.

Vex…

Maybe one day they would again, a small part of her whispered, the part of her that still hoped. She took that piece of herself and shoved it down, deep into the pit of pain and emptiness left behind by what they had done, and buried it there. She didn’t need them to look at her. Bridget couldn’t be who they wanted her to be, because they already had that girl standing between them.

Vex.

She didn’t even realize she was calling the relic until she felt the first warm, feathered touch on her wrist and looked down to see a shimmering stand of particles slowly wrapping around her arm and flowing into the palm of her hand.

Below, Kerr’s head snapped up and she felt a pull, the mist snapping back towards him in an instant as his brow slammed down in a frown.

“Quit wasting time and get down here girl, you’re due to leave soon.”

Ruba and Adelaide’s heads swiveled towards her as well, and Briddy quickly scurried down the rest of the wide staircase, the silken touch of the Shroud brushing against the backs of her bare legs.

She noted, at the bottom, that none of the staff had turned up to wish her farewell, though it was doubtful that either Ruba or Kerr had felt her departure a significant enough event to have them there. When Adelaide and Nolan had left for the university, a throng of people had filled the hall, pressing tightly against each other with well wishes and goodbyes filling the air as they stepped through the door.

Now, Ruba and Kerr rounded on her as she stepped off the bottom stair, considering their middle daughter with gazes that were better suited to a hunter looking at a feral animal that might claw at any second.

“Everything has been sent ahead to your dorm, you’ll find it labelled near whatever bed they’ve assigned you to.” One could’ve chilled an entire household’s larder with the ice in Ruba’s voice.

Briddy cocked an eyebrow. No private dorm then, not that she had expected her parents to go out of their way for her like they had for her siblings. That would be an unreasonable thing to do.

“Your knob is over here.” Adelaide’s voice said from behind Kerr’s bulk. She walked out of the drawing room, the lump of faceted crystal held in one hand.

“Remember to check your Keepedish daily. You will be giving updates on your progress and studies while at the Palanquin, do you understand?” Her father’s voice held no question in it, nor did he wait for her reply. “Talia’s son, Warrin, is in your class, as is Lekshi and Karun’s girl. You would do well to keep their company, if nothing else than to show some loyalty to your guild.”

“Not because I’ll be hunting monsters alongside them someday?” Briddy challenged.

“You would need to have the capability to do that first.” Ruba cut in “Worry more about that than what your future occupation will be.”

Adjusting her jaw, Briddy turned to the diamond doorknob that her sister still held out. “So what, I just stick it in and it works? I just walk into the school?”

“Yep.”

“What if someone else sticks theirs in at the same time and we both try to walk through the same doorway?”

Adelaide began to respond, but Kerr cut her off with his deep rumble. “Don’t waste time on foolish questions girl. This institution has been operating for hundreds of years, they have measures in place to ensure that doesn’t happen.”

Leaning out from behind their father, her sister added “They have the times staggered.”

Slowly nodding, Briddy looked over to where her mother stood, arms crossed, adjacent to the front door. Wrought from rich brown mahogany, the door was taller than Kerr’s massive bulk by only half a head, the top of it carved out and replaced with several slices of clear crystal, inlaid in a pattern of a half-moon.

Their eyes met, and Briddy quickly noted the tightness in the corners of Ruba’s expression, though the tension seemed to be holding something else back. Fear? Anger? She couldn’t be sure, and the longer she spent staring, the more likely-

“If there’s nothing else, you should be going.” Her mother’s voice was like a whip.

“Eager to be rid of me?”

“You would find a way to be dramatic about this. If you actually acted-”

“It’s not time yet anyway.” This came from Adelaide, who seemed as surprised as Briddy that she had interrupted.

“There’s no harm in getting ready and standing by the door.” Ruba sniffed, tossing her hair.

“Standing by the door won’t make it come any faster.” Her sister’s voice was mild, quickly continuing. “In the meantime, make sure you’re polite to the housewatcher if no one else; they control every detail of the dorms and can make you miserable if you get on their bad side.”

Briddy blinked. Apparently, it was time for advice, now. Adelaide launched into a series of do’s and don'ts covering everything from not eating the soup served for meals unless it was the start or the end of the month, which of the library nooks had the most privacy for naps, where the safety exits on the dorms were in case she needed to make an escape from teachers.

“-they have them on all of the dorms of course, but Liberty House has one on the second floor that looks like a window- Briddy are you listening?”

Bridget was not listening, she had instead been watching the heavy brow of Titanium Kerr slam down with the force of a landslide, his arms slowly folding across his chest. A pair of slim fingers, covered in calluses and scratches, snapped in front of her face, bringing her attention back to her older sister. There was a twinkle in her grey eyes that suggested she wasn’t angry, so much as amused, but before Briddy could get a grasp on what was funny, the twinkle hardened into a scamp’s glint.

“You…may want to avoid Instructor Hennigan, we didn’t exactly see eye to eye in my time there, Lady Carmine always hated me for some reason and I don’t think Cardenas ever really forgave me for the business with the ficus…” Adelaide trailed off, lips pursed thoughtfully. “Maistwel hated Nolan’s guts, but we always got on fine so you should be alright there.”

“Didn’t see eye to eye?” Briddy inquired, a smile curling her mouth before falling away. She wished that Adelaide weren’t so easy to love, even when she hated her moments before, that she was as petty as Nolan or cruel as Kerr, instead of distant and perfect. Instead of being the one that their parents chose.

“Bridget.” The warmth that had slowly seeped into her fled as her stomach dropped, and she turned slightly to look back at Kerr.

“Father.”

“A word.” Without waiting, her father strode into the receiving room, and she followed close behind. Glancing back over her shoulder, she saw Ruba move into to gently rub Adelaide’s back, as though her sister needed comforting after enduring the tragic trauma of having to speak to Briddy.

“Bridget.” His voice was cold, empty of any emotion.

“Father?” Hers was ironic, twisting the word in a drawl at the end.

“I want you to swear that you will take this year seriously. Don’t spend your entire time with your nose stuck in the library, you need to excel in all of your courses and not just the ones you find easy.”

She scoffed “ Of course I-”

“Must you always run your mouth? You would think that nineteen years spent under my roof would’ve taught you some smidgen of respect.”

Briddy clenched her jaw, the words rolling out before she could stop them. “And you would think that three children would afford you the ability to love them, yet here we stand.”

She regretted the statement the moment she spoke, a growl rumbling deep within the steely cage of her father’s chest. “You child. Swear it. On Vex-” His mouth moved around the rest of the name, but she could not make sense of the word, try as she might. Tried she had too, many times, to put a consonant or vowel to the shape of her father’s mouth as it moved when he spoke of his relic, but the farthest she had gotten was the first bit.

Her hand shot forward, almost of its own accord, fingertips lightly resting on the intricate scrollwork of the bracer.

“I swear it.” Her voice was strong, steady. There was no question in her mind that she took this extremely seriously. As though to reply, she felt the metal stir under her hand, softening at first and then slowly rising into a small cloud of metallic particles that glinted as it shifted.

Her father swatted her hand away, the rejection stinging more than the passing blow. “You’ve made your promises. You have a year to keep them or I will pursue other options.”

Briddy’s expression hardened, icy fury spiking in her veins with each heartbeat, a hundred different replies circling in her mind, battling against logic and reason to be freed. Instead, she raised her chin, meeting his eyes with her own and not breaking the gaze. Her mouth was shut in a hard line, keeping the bite of her anger contained within as she looked at her father, hard.

They sat there in silence, which was fine by her, two stubborn rocks that refused to bow before the waves of the other’s anger, waiting for the first crack to appear. Bridget refused to let him see her crack, and eventually, her father looked away, breaking the gaze to glance towards the entrance hall.

“You should go say goodbye to your mother.”

“I shouldn’t have to make promises like that.” The words burst out. “I’m your daughter. Not your guildsquires, not your servants, your daughter.” Bridget’s voice wavered, and she silently cursed herself for the weakness.

“You’re welcome to the alternative.” Her father’s words held no emotion, no inflection. Their meaning was more than clear enough for Briddy, and she turned on her heel, walking away without looking back. The Shroud she wore flared behind her, the fabric sweeping with the arc of her motion as if to brush her father away, out of her sight.

Ruba was standing in the doorway, Adelaide lounging nearby against the side table which still held the diamond doorknob.

“Your things should already be put into your dorm when you arrive, make sure you drop some blood onto the Keepedish to establish the connection and reply to your letters.” The instructions spilled out of Ruba’s mouth as her eyes flew in between Kerr and her middle child, that unknown tightness back in the corners of her face.

“He gave me a year, mom.” Briddy wasn’t sure why she said this, but the words bubbled past the tight seal of her lips anyways.

Looking over at her husband once more, Ruba slowly shook her head, dark curls tumbling back over her shoulders. “A year isn’t enough.”

Bridget looked down at her hands, which were slowly releasing from a ball. She hadn’t even realized they were clenched, but she unfurled her fingers, turning and walking over to pick up the doorknob. She looked at her sister, who had a small, sad smile on her face like this was the last time they would ever see each other. The sorrow in her eyes only served to stoke the embers of Briddy’s anger, the cold ice in her veins shifting to a boiling heat as she turned back to her mother, whose face was not dissimilar from her sister’s.

“Nice to know that you believe I can do it,” Bridget said, looking at each of her family in turn.

Without another word, she strode to the door, slamming the crystalline doorknob into the empty hole that usually held a regular one, turning it and throwing the door open. A white curtain of fuzzy light awaited her, but she barely took notice, striding through and listening to the resounding click that filled the absence of any voice correcting her.