Pogonophile (noun): a person who is fond of beards

There was once a man with a very colorful beard.

Every day and every night, he would dutifully soften every strand with conditioner and comb through it with a small brush. The beard was as neat as can be.

The hair next to his chin was a soft, lovely orange. The ombré continued, giving away to humble, gentle reds. In the last few inches, the beard flowed with a calm, elegant purple. Some irregularly-shaped white beads hung throughout the vibrant curtain.

His grandchildren would always ask, “Why does your beard look like that?”

He’d smile, give them some candy, and reply, “Your grandmother loved my beard, so I have to keep it in great condition, don’t you think?”

Bribed by the sweet treats, the children simply nodded and ran off. “You’ll have to take us to see her one day!”

The promise redeemed itself on a wonderful evening of gentle zephyrs and a glowing, heaven-like sunset. Drenched in miraculous paints of reds, orange, yellow, and purple, the sky looked…

…familiar.

It was on that day, when the children learned the truth behind the beard.

The old man pointed to the fiery nightfall and said, “Meet your grandmother, everyone.”