“You think you can dodge? You think staying away can keep you safe?” The agent had been gauging their powers, almost playing with James in his own twisted way, seeing that his side had the numbers advantage. But with Lunaris arriving, new pieces were added to the chessboard. The time for play was over.

Up until now, the agent attacked James with a blade or two. But now he extended his hand and slashed, and immediately thirteen dark blades flying at James.

Even with some distance between them, and with James dodging using SARM, dodging 13 attacks at the same time was not something James could successfully do for very long.

However, Lunaris’s arrival didn’t mean just support and healing. Not when it came to James.

A sane person would see Lunaris’s healing as an opportunity to feel better and not be on the verge of death anymore.

But for James, sanity was more of a reference point than anything. Sanity doesn’t help win fights against murderous psychopaths.

As soon as he felt reinvigorated from her healing, James sacrificed any HP he had regained, strengthening his barrier. And more importantly, activating his [Reckless Abandon] skill.

The dark blades were not only faster than before, but they seemed to have a will of their own. Just like James’s saws, they were maneuvering and moving in random patterns.

Most mortals would indeed find this very hard to dodge. And James wasn’t an expert at dodging or anything. SARM was good enough, but there was only so much it could do.

But with Lunaris here, he didn’t necessarily need to dodge. Even though the pain made him want to jump off a bridge, Reckless Abandon enhanced him in every imaginable way.

It wasn’t sacrificing the HP itself that empowered him, the pain was the real fuel. But the lower his HP, and the more he sacrificed, the less he would be able to endure repeated sacrifices. Lunaris’s healing was therefore a godsent.

As soon as he sacrificed his HP, the thirteen swift blades seemed to slow down to a crawl. James could’ve had a picnic and still managed to dodge.

“Oh? The effects seem even better than before. Did it level up or something?”

As if to mock the agent, James dared to check the skill’s level in the middle of combat, while moving past the blades without much effort.

[Reckless Abandon has reached level 7. Buffs to speed, mana, spell power, strength and reaction time have greatly increased. Warning: amount of pain received will be increased as well.]

“I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not.” James said as he recoiled at the thought that there would be even more pain. Still, he couldn’t suppress his smile. All the pain had been worth it after all.

The agent was slowed down just like the blades, moving in slow motion.

But everything was already slowly speeding up, so James had to sacrifice his HP again. The pain was stronger each time he used it, since he didn’t give his body time to recover. But after torturing himself so many times already, he was mentally a lot more prepared to deal with the pain.

Still, he wouldn’t be able to use it much longer. Pretty soon the pain would become debilitating, and lying in the fetus position begging for death wasn’t exactly a good combat stance.

He had to act fast. The agent was his obvious target, but he could see the nine neophyte’s blades striking at Helios. Logically he knew he should probably take care of the true agent first, but he couldn’t let Helios be butchered like that.

James leapt past the agent, immediately conjuring two [Overloading Mana Prongs]. Each set of prongs struck a neophyte, James’s mana pouring into them, cooking them from the inside out.

It all happened so fast that time was still running slowly from the effects of [Reckless Abandon]. And yet, in this short amount of time, he had already managed to kill two neophytes.

James smiled, trying to conjure two more Prongs to deal with the other neophytes.

But before he could do that, he felt a cold and urgent sensation near his heart. It was so sudden that he thought he was dying of a heart attack.

Suddenly, he felt a sharp pain that was even more overwhelming than the pain of his sacrifices. SARM managed to react in time and it moved him, so it wasn’t his heart that was pierced. But he still wasn’t able to avoid it altogether.

The next thing he knew, a blade had pierced his left shoulder. He could see the agent’s dark blade coming out of his front, having fully pierced through him from his back.

If he hadn’t developed [Combat clairvoyance], his heart would’ve been pierced instead. SARM had managed to push him out of the way slightly, but he couldn’t escape unharmed.

Even with all his defenses, the agents were trained murderers. He thought that by taking advantage of [Reckless Abandon], he could save Helios and join up with him against the true agent. But he had been duped.

“You even managed to dodge that? Well, perhaps you’re not as useless as you look.”

The agent who was supposed to be moving in slow motion, had used James’s desire to help his friend as a chance to literally stab James in the back.

“How the fuck are you that fast?” James cursed angrily. His Reckless Abandon was still active, so his speed and perception of time were still greatly enhanced. The agent should’ve still been as slow as a slug compared to him.

“Just how stupid are you? Did you think that you unlocked some great mystical power? There are plenty of people who can enhance their speed, and there are plenty of ways to respond to that. You really thought I had no answers to a guy enhancing his speed? When I saw your stupid ass zooming around, thinking you’re hot shit, I knew I had my chance. I had to take a little time to charge my attack in order to penetrate that annoying little shield of yours, but it was worth losing two of my guys to see your ugly face distorted in pain.”

The agent laughed. His creepy smile was looking a lot creepier to James now that he had a huge hole in his shoulder, which suddenly made the pain he inflicted on himself feel pleasant in comparison. The Darkness infused in the blade was corroding his skin, causing excruciating suffering.

As soon as she sensed James’s wound, Lunaris’s face was drained of all color. She redirected most of her healing towards James, immediately stopping the corrosion and bleeding. But the attack had been too vicious, the wound was too big. And James was already cursed, taking even more damage than usual. Since he was also already low on health because of all the sacrifices, he was a lucky he was still alive.

Even though the Chaos Barrier was broken, it still managed to block a huge percentage of the damage. But even though he wasn’t dead, the situation was still dire.

Lunaris’s healing was slowly working, but James didn’t have time to sit around and be healed.

Lunaris spawned her butterfly of light and sent it toward the agent, hoping to prevent him from attacking James for at least a few moments.

“Are you all morons?” The agent scoffed and sent a wave of Darkness, immediately destroying the butterfly.

The fact that the spell she worked on was beaten in less than a second was disheartening in and of itself, but it was the fact that she couldn’t help her friend that almost made her cry. She couldn’t even jump in, she had to keep healing them. Wanting to help at least in some way, she intensified her healing, hoping that at least her support would make a difference.

The agent had already launched another thirteen blades at James, hoping to finish him off.

James immediately sacrificed the little amount of HP Lunaris had managed to heal, but the pain was nearly blinding. He barely managed to remember where he was. He dodged the blades, but his mind was nearly blank from the pain.

He felt like he was going to involuntarily activate his [Dissociative trance], but he wasn’t fighting a bunch of faceless demons this time around. He couldn’t afford to zone out behind his barrier and launch spells mindlessly.

He needed to have his wits about him, so he couldn’t go into a trance. But his mind was filled with pain. The pain from his shoulder, the pain from the repeated sacrifices. It was too much to handle.

The pain was so great that he began questioning his own values and worldview, to the point he was experiencing what he thought was ego death. Did his own life even matter? If he just gave in, it would be all over. No more pain, no more struggle.

He was just one life out of billions, trillions. There were countless universes out there, each filled with life. Even trillion was a small number compared to the amount of life in the universe.

Was it really a big tragedy if he died? Death happens all the time, it’s a natural part of the universe. His ego cared about his own death, but his wants and needs were absolutely meaningless in the grand scheme of things.

A part of him genuinely believed all these things. The excruciating pain was more powerful than any drug, he’d have given anything for it to stop.

But as meaningless as his own life was to him in that moment, he pictured Helios and Lunaris. He pictured his parents from his past life, along with his cat.

If he let go and just died here, the pain would be gone. But he wouldn’t ever see the people he loved again.

That thought stirred something in him, a small desire to live. But the pain was still too overwhelming, his body still wanted to give in, to slowly drift off into oblivion. So what if his cursed soul would be gone forever? It’s just one soul out of many.

But then he shuddered, a certain realization sending tremors throughout his mind. That’s not all that would happen if he died now. He could accept his own death with glee, but his mind filled with pain had just now realized that Helios and Lunaris would die too if he died now.

That changed everything. The pain was still overwhelming, his ego still partially dead, preferring death over the continuation of his own life. He still didn’t care enough about his own life to the point he’d push through the pain and fight to live.

But this wasn’t about him. It wasn’t the desire to survive that snapped him back to reality. It was the desire to keep his friends alive.

James opened his eyes and saw the agent about to strike him again. Everything happened so fast that [Reckless Abandon] hadn’t run out yet, but he didn’t have much time left.

He quickly dodged, SARM immediately pushing him far from harm’s way.

But for some reason, he couldn’t land properly, falling to the ground. SARM always pushed him violently, but he had learned to land properly long ago. But this time around he couldn’t land properly for some reason.

Only then he noticed something. His pain was completely gone.

He didn’t feel his shoulder at all, nor the pain from the sacrifices.

And then he saw the notification.

[Dissociative trance has evolved into: Split Mind]

He was so concerned with dodging the agent’s attack that he didn’t have time to think about anything else.

But now that he had a second to think, he noticed that he could only see through one eye. And he couldn’t move his left hand and leg either. But the pain was gone.