《The First Flame》32. But I Sometimes Forget I Do This for You
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Iris was frozen in place, almost held in place, by Arylos’s sudden action. An embrace from out of nowhere. This isn’t like him and something was obviously disturbing him. All she could do was return his embrace, hoping to offer some comfort for him.
“Arylos, you’re scaring me,” she whispered. “Is everything alright?”
“No,” Arylos responded while letting go of Iris. “But you make everything alright.”
The two stared at each other as Iris weighed Arylos’s words, trying to figure out his pain while feeling a familiar pain of her own. Iris’s thoughts were interrupted by Arylos suddenly clearing his throat and looking around.
“Did Bellona already leave?” he asked while moving back towards the sofa.
Iris quickly collected herself and started taking out her hair tie. “Yeah, she said something about having work to finish up and you need rest.”
“I didn’t use the bathtub so it’s still clean for you,” Arylos responded with a nod, understanding why Bellona left.
“Eh? Why didn’t you use it?” Iris asked with shock in her voice.
“I didn’t need it, and I already used the hot water in the shower,” Arylos explained, nervously rubbing the back of his neck. “I figured I can at least leave the tub clean for you.”
Iris sighed and let out a chuckle. “Alright. That’s some spicy soy soup. My mom used to make it when I was sick so hopefully it brings some life back to your stomach.”
“You’re not eating your portion now?” Arylos asked while tucking himself into the blankets.
“I won’t be long, just don’t eat mine,” Iris responded with a pat on Arylos’s head before going upstairs.
Arylos smiled and settled into the torotsu while taking the bowl into his hands and drank some of the soup, feeling the heat of the broth and the spices and savouring the flavour of the herbs and the richness of the stock. It was light, refreshing, and made him feel alive again, about as ‘human’ as he could get. He did question the pairing with the hot chocolate; apparently Iris found the recipe so easy that she couldn’t stop making it. Or drinking it more accurately.
Arylos relaxed with a deep sigh, feeling the heat of the flames, the torotsu, and the soup. He took in the sounds of the crackling flames and the water rushing through the pipes to the room upstairs. He could feel sleep pulling him in once more; is this why humans sleep? He couldn’t help but wonder. He could only look through the windows and see that the sun was starting to set soon in a few short hours.
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He returned the bowl to the table for the time being and laid back and closed his eyes. He felt a pop in his right knuckles and through moving his fingers, he could feel a couple of bones still loose. He took his right hand into his left and started massaging the knuckles to get the bones to situate, feeling the stinging pain run up his arm and hearing the bones clatter and grind around. He could only assume a tendon had not fully healed either and closing his fist pointed out that a couple of fingers could not close completely.
He could only sigh; this kind of damage is miniscule by comparison and yet it’s not healing as it should. He felt a portion of his anxiety return briefly before being dashed by the sound of footsteps. He opened his eyes to Iris coming back into view, her hair done up in a loose bun and wearing a thick robe and rubbing her arms together to combat the cold.
Without hesitation, he lifted the blankets of the torotsu and Iris climbed in, sounding like the air had been knocked out of her chest from the cold as she took the hot bowl in her hands.
“You really weren’t long,” Arylos commented, going back to situating the knuckles in his hand.
Iris took a spoon of the broth to her lips and blew on it before drinking. “I just needed to get sweat off of me; you were the one doing all of the fighting.”
Arylos chuckled under his breath and closed his eyes again, focused on fixing his hand. In a few moments of silence, he could feel Iris take his injured hand into hers as she examined the fractured bones and torn tendons.
“Does it hurt?” she asked, heavy with concern as she felt the bones move unnaturally.
“It’s just uncomfortable, that’s all,” Arylos assured, tempting to pull his hand back.
Iris continued massaging his hand for him and she noticed an odd sound as she continued. “It feels like something is wrong with your wrist too,” she commented.
“Likely caused by some injury to my forearm too,” Arylos sighed. “Not something to be too worried about. Once I get the tendons to grow back to their normal places, the bones should fall into place.”
Iris’s lips dipped into a sad frown as she held his hand close. “I know if I was hurt like this, I would be in serious pain. I would not want anyone poking around it.”
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“Is that a hint that you should give my hand back?” Arylos commented.
Iris shook her head in response and examined his hand closer. “It should be excruciating. You should be fighting against me. And yet you’re still moving your hand around and even let me move it. Do you not feel any of it?”
“I do,” Arylos answered, opening his eyes and looking towards the concerned human. “It’s just not something to be concerned about, that’s all.”
“I’m concerned about it,” Iris returned, feeling how loose his fingers were when he tightened his hand. “Concern goes both ways between friends, Arylos. You can’t be concerned about me but not let me be concerned about you in return.”
“I’m just not worth the worry, that’s all,” Arylos assured. “I can take a lot of pain and injury while you cannot. I can shoulder that for you.”
“That’s the other thing,” Iris continued, not taking her eyes off of his injuries. “You can’t treat yourself like you’re disposable.”
Arylos’s hand instinctively twitched and he could feel some of the tendons reposition. He turned his hand over and could feel the bone in his forearm reconnect with a solid pop. “It’s better me than you,” he told Iris, keeping his voice soft. “This is all my own fault, so it’s better that I shoulder the pain.”
“Is us living together a bad thing?” Iris asked with pain in her voice.
“If things had been different, your family would still be alive,” Arylos answered. “You wouldn’t have to be concerned for me.”
“And you wouldn’t be here,” Iris whispered under her breath.
“Me losing this body is better than you dying,” Arylos responded, biting back emotions he was leaving unchecked. He could then feel his tendons reposition again and the knuckles fell back into place. He took his hand back from Iris and opened and closed it repeatedly, checking the alignment and grip strength while showing Iris that his body is healing. “I can recover, and even when I can’t, I cannot die; not by mortal means in any case.”
“But if the others of your kind died, so can you,” Iris whispered, looking away from Arylos.
“Again, better me than you,” Arylos explained.
“And what about those you leave behind?!” Iris shouted, her anger getting the best of her. “I lost everyone else, I lost everything. Are you really so suicidal and selfish that you’ll just die and leave me here because you dying is better than me losing you? Who are you to decide that?”
Iris’s words cut like a hot knife, knocking the air out of Arylos’s chest. “I’m sorry,” Arylos said clearly while gritting his teeth, angry at himself. “You are right; I’m being selfish and trying to write it off that I’m doing what’s best for you. It’s easy for me to say I’m not worthy of your concern.”
Iris looked back to Arylos, surprised at how quickly he admitted he was wrong. “You are all I have left right now, so I will worry about you; no matter how eternal you say you are. If your role is to protect me, then my role is to worry about you.”
Arylos bowed his head and took his hand back under the warm blanket as he felt a cut on his knuckles start to heal over. As it began to heal, he dug one of his nails into the cut and held it there.
Iris took her bowl of soup from the torotsu’s table and went back to drinking while admiring the flames in the fireplace. “Just promise me that if you have to choose between fighting for me and dying for me, you’ll fight until nothing stands against you,” she ordered. “You set a mountainside on fire in an attempt to fight for me. I want you to do that again before you even think about letting yourself die for my sake.”
Arylos nodded and pulled his nail out of the cut on his hand as it healed over, forming a scar on his hand similar to the others that cover his body. “I promise,” he assured in a quiet voice. “I will raze a world to the ground before I leave you behind. If I’m going to die for you, I will take anything that would threaten you with me.”
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