“A Garylomania? Woah.” Goo Daemon Dude, that was his title, froze in thought.

“DUDE!” The world ungooed, and the Daemon materialized, as an orange gooey humanoid. They were now in a black void. Gary was seated on a chair. 8 other daemons appeared form the void. “IT'S THE GUY!”

“THE GUY” They all said in unison.

The Claw of Carjiar, a giant stone claw daemon, grabbed Gary gently, and he was lifted off, and thrown into a special room. This was a spiritual comfort realm that kept him content. He did not resist.

In this room Gary was analyzed, cleansed, washed, torn, worn, replaced, displaced, manipulated, gesticulated, masticated, de-genesised, re-genesised, apotheosized, re-nadired, mended, transmogrified, and reconstructed.

The stone claw gave him a thumbs up.

He reappeared on the floor of a white room. This wasn’t ANY white room. It was THE white room. An infinite realm of infinity, and infinites that was also shared commonly amongst sapients. Anything could be manifested here if one had the capacity to enforce their domain.

In the distance Gary saw what he thought was a missile rapidly approaching.

It was a missile, and you know the rest.

Gary ran, but he couldn’t run very far, since it's a missile.

He teleports away at the last second.

When he reappears a bullet passes through his chest. He grabs his chest, and collapses to the floor. Blood pools around him.

The missile is hovering upright, a pistol floats at its side. “I knew you would do that. You are TOTALLY the GUY!”

Gary felt himself being restored “AAA-” He jumped as the missile rapidly approached his face.

He reawakens in a dark, cold, room with a wooden floor. He gets up quickly. He begins moving, and shifting strangely. Consumed by the flow, he began to perform his choreographic magnum opus. His body performs a bizarre, and intricate dance, a pure, raw expression of pain, rage, and deep personal conflict. If only it were voluntary.

No, Gary’s cowardly instincts had kicked in, and he had just dodged an unceasing stream of magic missiles. He still was, and he was dodging everything.

After an indeterminable time, the sapient infinite magic missile runic defense array, another of the daemons, imagine a floating self-replicating rune, got mad. “Bro, what? not ONE HIT?!? FUCK it! Approved!”

Gary appears in an arena. A crowd of shadow creatures watch. His opponent, a dreaded femmenicorn, a daemonic variant of the friendly, and social ones, are a race of horned humanoids that were, like the amazons, indeed all female. They were all shredded. Femmenicorns are all shredded, not just the daemonic ones.

THIS ONE was EXTRA SHREDDED!

Gary did not survive the first round. Teleportation was against the rule of the duel, apparently. He could use it tactically. Not that it helped. He did it once, was grabbed, smashed into the ground, and pummeled.

He rematerialized, and grabbed a shadow creature. He threw it at the femmenicorn, and waited. As the creature crashed into her form, Gary teleport-dashed in, and stabbed through it, into the femmenicorns chest.

The femmenicorn, a black-haired beauty, Gave him a thumbs up, and the realm dematerialized.

Gary was battle-ready as he appeared in a library.

A guy was seated behind the front desk reading a book, sight beyond sight, knowing beyond knowing. He placed a bookmark into the book, and closed it. He looked up at Gary. He was an average-looking librarian with a small crystal necklace.

Gary readied himself.

“You read books?” The librarian asked.

Gary looked around. “Yea.”

“Approved.” The librarian waved him away.

“You’re not a daemon?” Gary asked.

The librarian grimaced. “Look I..” he tapped his fingers on the desk. “Daemon is a title not a type of creature, ok? I was a regular librarian and I read too much. It happens. Then I joined a gang of daemons. It happens.”

Gary relaxed his posture, and raised his eyebrows. ”Ok.” he looked down then back up. “What’s your name?”

The librarian scoffed. He pointed at himself with his hand. “Obviously it’s Obi. Get out.” Gary dematerialized.

Gary appeared strapped to a chair in a suspiciously normal café. Rapid breaths escaped his body. It was a nice, quiet atmosphere. The shadow patrons all kept their arcane conversations in a low-murmur that Gary could not make out. Light rain struck the window, and the lighting was just right. Gary felt good? This was bad.

A floating book with pictures of mushrooms floated in front of him. “I am the mushroombook(she/her). I don’t have a name. Would you like to hear mushroom facts?”

Gary took a deep breath, and blinked rapidly. He made a variety of complex calculations in his head. What. Was. The. Best. Possible. Reaction.

“Sure.”

That wasn’t it, but after ~300 years he did earn her approval.

Gary then reappeared on a luxurious bed. It was early morning, and he was in his apartment. The bed was different. It was a long time ago, but now. He was comfy. He knew where, and when he was. He knew he had free time, some money, some liquor, some weed, and videogames. Things he had not seen together in a long time.

He drank, he smoked, he ate, he shat, he played, he cherished every moment, every detail, and when he laid down to sleep, do you know what he did? He waited.

The scent of obsidian, the last daemon, came down and comforted Gary. It was a scent so it communicated through odor. Gary did not speak olfactory, but he got the gist that the scent of obsidian had been watching him, and quietly rooting for him.

“Thank you.” A single tear rolled down Gary’s eyes. He rejuvenated 200 years in an instant. The scent helped him calm down, and he dematerialized.

He reappeared in front of all of the daemons.

Gary took a deep breath, and sighed. “Are you going to kill me?”

Orange Daemon Dude grinned. “Is that your only question?”

Gary raised an eyebrow. “Yea?”

All of the daemons kneeled, or otherwise expressed some form of yielding gesture. Give me a break here.

“All hail! BELOVED DAEMON KING” They said in unison.

Gary had just become a player on the galactic stage, not that he knew that yet, or was strong enough to do anything about it, but he did earn the OFFICIAL title of The Guy.

Gary thought being The Guy was pretty cool.