Alue, please whisper in my ear,

Guard me from the wicked in this world,

In your grace I shall find no fear,

Your mercy is my shield, your love is my sword,

“Don’t let him die, Mender!” A voice broke out as Jetta tried desperately to triage the wounds of the dying man before her. Her hands were a clumsy, shaky mess. She prayed again, harder.

Alue, please whisper in my ear,

Guard me from the wicked in this world!

In your grace I shall find no fear!

Your mercy is my shield, your love is my sword!

“His life is in your hands, and your incompetence is killing him!” The voice lashed out again. The dying man did not flinch or cry out in agony as she weaved the needle in and out of his raw flesh. He just lay there – a bloody, motionless heap. A deeper, more severe panic began to set in on Jetta and she desperately tried to mend the broken body before her.

Alue, please whisper in my ear…

“He’s dead,” Tyric stood across from Jetta with his arms folded and a disgusted look scrawled across his face.

Jetta folded forward in agony and wept, her eyes hot with tears. Her hands were drenched in blood. She slowly lifted a blood soaked gauze from a gaping puncture wound under the ribs of the corpse in front of her.

“Not everyone can be saved. You must come to terms with this,” The medic’s voice was emotionless as he spoke. He gestured for the other medics to come and carry the corpse away. They swiftly moved forward and lifted the body.

Jetta was mortified at her abject failure. Her mind raced. What could I have done differently? A million different scenarios played out in her head at once and she found respite in none of them. Then a dark anger rose up inside of her, “There was nothing I could do, was there?” Her voice did not even thinly veil her fury and disgust. She looked up from her bloody, quivering hands, “Why would you purposefully kill this man? To teach me some petty lesson?!”

The instructor shrugged off her reproach and placed a hand on Jetta’s shoulder, “He was a criminal, a no name vagabond. His life did not matter until he was used for this lesson. We gave him a purpose to fulfill. Do you weep when you tug a weed from a flower bed?”

“No,” Jetta hotly replied and wiped the warm tears from her face.

“Then you do not have to weep now.” Tyric passed a warm wash cloth to the student, “Clean yourself up. In the future you’ll see weeds be pulled and their death will allow flowers blossom. Weep when you must, otherwise make sure that above all else, you did your job.”

Jetta took the towel and walked away, shaken and angry from the ordeal. Alue, where are you?

***

Jetta rested under a large gnarled tree. Its branches were dotted with tiny flower buds and a crisp early spring breeze waved the leaves in a slight rocking motion. She held a medallion in her hands. Its silver linked chain was wrapped around her wrists and locked her hands together. Her eyes were shut in concentration as she whispered a set of prayers in a now forgotten tongue.

Speak to me o angel of mine,

And let the sun upon me shine,

Take me to your world above,

Fill my heart with mercy, grace, and love,

Chase away the wings like shadow,

And calm me in your gentle meadow,

The shadow of a figure broke her focus, “The angelic tongue. Your dialect is a bit off, but I can tell you were educated. You are no normal fishing village girl.”

“Master Jesevik, I…I thought I was alone,” Jetta said, slightly taken aback by her medical instructor’s presence.

Jesevik was an elf like she was. His hair was silver and tied in a long braid that fell down his back. He wore the traditional gray and deep purple robes of a Black Rabbit medic, and was revered as such, but was classically trained. New medics, or menders, were now expected to also be present on combat missions.

“Jetta, you and your peers were given this time off to hone your skills. Yet, I find you here praying instead.”

Jetta draped her necklace hastily around her neck and tucked the medallion into her tunic. Jesevik took notice of the symbol, “That is not the emblem of Alanna,” he said, with an air of suspicion and disappointment.

Jetta attempted to stand and walk away before the conversation turned troublesome, “You are right, Master. I should go practice my craft.”

He grabbed her by the arm, “You’d be wise to aim your prayers toward Alanna. The goddess of mercy can not help you here.”

Jetta eyed the darkness in her master’s eyes, “Alue protects me. I shall not fail her.”

“Your prayers fall on deaf ears, child. Only Alanna listens to a Rabbit.” Jesevik whispered harshly.

“I tend to Rabbits, but I am not one of them,” Jetta spat, now seething with anger. She could not hide her frustration with her situation. Her master’s words hung heavy on her heart. The last few weeks had been an era of darkness in her otherwise enlightened life. A year prior she had been given the opportunity to travel the world with a priest of Alue, but chose to stay with what was left of her family. Now she did not even have that. She had nothing anymore but her faith.

“Don’t say such ridiculous things, Jetta. We are not your enemies. Your enemy is your own doubt. Doubt in yourself and your future. This is your new life. We are your new family and Alanna is your new god.”

New life, new family, new god. The impact of this reality hit her like a heavy oak club to the gut. She stumbled back against the rowan tree, her face scrunched up in anguish. She stammered as she attempted to collect the revelation, “I ca-can’t go home. I-I’m stuck here, fo-forever. My family, friends, village… Alue, why have you forsaken me?”

Jesevik lifted her chin to expose her teary eyes, “Jetta, the quicker you leave your past behind, the faster you can go on living your new one. Alue may have abandoned you, but Alanna will always embrace you in her wings.”

“I want to speak to Elucard. Where can I find him?”

“An old friend from your village? And here we all thought he severed the ribbon of his past,” Jesevik smiled, “It will do you some good to speak to a friend that has been where you stand. I will arrange some time for you to spend with him.”

“Thank you, Master,” she said calmly.

***

Elucard found Jetta waiting on a small wooden bridge that spanned across a brook. Jetta smiled as her old childhood friend approached her, “Elucard, it’s been so long. I’ve nearly forgotten what you looked like. This bridge isn’t exactly the old willow tree, but it’ll have to do.”

Elucard did not break a grin, his eyes were vacant compared to Jetta’s, which were still full of life. Jetta’s smile vanished in his cold presence, “Elucard, what’s wrong? You and I are reunited. Friends forever, just like it’s suppose to be.”

Elucard cupped her hands and gave her a faint, hollow smile, “Jetta, things are never going to be like they used to be. The life we had as children is frozen in time, far in the past.”

Jetta’s eyes swelled up, “Elucard, not you too…”

“Jetta time stands still when you’re a kid. You hold onto meaningless things, but when you grow up… when you mature, you have to let go and learn what is truly important.”

“Meaningless things? Like our friendship? Like the promise you made me?” she shouted, flustered by the fact that everything she held close was now escaping her like a withered leaf breaking apart in the wind.

“Jetta, Jesevik tells me you are having trouble adjusting to your new home,” Elucard said, ignoring Jetta’s questions.

“Elucard, you are all that’s left of… of…” Jetta stuttered, trying to keep her composure.

“I’m here Jetta, but I’m different now. I had to let go of the weak-willed child that I was. I had to let go of silly dreams. I had to let it all go in order to survive.”

Jetta collapsed into his arms and sobbed. She did not want it to change, but she knew her old life would soon be just as dead as the man she could not save. The Rabbits had cut and stabbed it and left it for her to mend, and she knew already that doing so was an impossible task. No one was better at killing than the Rabbits.

“Jetta, you need to embrace your new lifestyle. This new world wants to chew you up and spit you out. It's a harsh, bleak world. It will shove you and kick you when you're down. You need to take in what the clan teaches you. The Rabbits don’t want you to fail, but will discard you if you do. Please listen to me. I’ve seen what happens when you don’t adapt… first hand.” Elucard hung on those last words reflecting on that night in the cave.

They both fell to their knees, Jetta’s crying slowly stopped, “Elucard, will you be there for me if I fall, or will you be the one kicking me down?”

“Jetta, I serve the Rabbits now. If you become a Rabbit, I’ll protect you, but I can’t stand by you if you defy us. Forgive me Jetta, this is my life now.”

Elucard brushed her aside as she still shivered. He walked away, hoping he got through to her. She sat alone on the bridge until the sun went down, and contemplated the choice before her. Fight or submit.