《The Bartender at the End of the Universe》Ch 212: A Drowned Rat is still a Rat
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"I think the last brain cell in my head has finally died," Narissa sighed as she floated up on top of the water.
Og'drimun was sitting on her stomach as he fired his slingshot haphazardly. "Come on, it isn't that bad."
"WHOOOAAAA! Is it always this difficult to handle for you guys?" Pockets asked as the firehose shook her around the room like a rampaging snake. "I mean, no wonder your bathrooms are always such a mess."
Bro, I've never made a mess. Like any sort of mess. Death said as he hung from a tower of technology.
"I mean, are you sure? That scythe seems like it'd make a big mess," Og'drimun pointed at as he motioned to the scythe being swung around by the swarm.
Death looked over at his scythe. He opened his jaw and then shut it again. Then he scratched his chin and shook his head. I mean. I don't think so...but that feels so long ago. I couldn't even taste anything back then, and don't get me started on my work outfit. Talk about boring.
Ted was struggling to keep his head above the red water. More and more just kept pouring in, and the artificial waves pushed him back under again and again.
Despite the struggle, he couldn't help but smile at the banter between them. It was a small comfort with the flooding room and angry swarm around them.
BANG!
Splash!
Pockets plunged into the water. Sentenza's head was just above the water and the barrel of his pistol was poking above the waves. His one shot had ruptured her hose where it went into her pants, and while it continued to spray water, she was cut loose.
"I thought you had magic for occasions like this." Sentenza grumbled as he held a small pouch in his unarmed hand. "Or did a little distraction actually make you forget that?"
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"Hey! I'm doing my best here with limited resources." Og'drimun complained as he continued to fire teeth from his slingshot.
Sentenza shook his head as he stuffed the pouch into his shirt pocket. "What? Slinging rocks is the best you can do? And what about you Narissa. Floating like a corpse is the top of your abilities?"
Narissa scowled instinctively before it seemed like a light bulb went off in her brain. She slapped her forehead and sighed.
"Dang it, I knew dealing with their nonsense was dumbing me down." She sighed.
Narissa reached down to her belt and opened a small pouch. She reached in and pulled out a pinch of dust. As she closed the bag she rubbed the dust between her fingertips.
She started to mutter in a strange language as she closed her eyes. Somehow the waters all calmed down and became still. Even the severed hose stopped spraying.
When she flung open her eyes and started to chant louder, the water started to get choppy. They steadily got worse and worse. Almost as if they were ocean waves in a terrible storm. Yet, Narissa's body seemed to raise up just slightly above them.
The dust among her fingertips sparkled and shined as she raised her hand into the air. The bat creatures looked confused and continued to turn their heads this way and that. Almost like they could hear something coming, but couldn't quite see it.
The air around the creatures began to sparkle, and then the sound of fireworks went off. One by one they started small, but quickly grew in intensity. Then, flashes of light coincided with the noise around the beasts. More and more went off, and they just got bigger and louder.
Then, the first one hit. A twinkle appeared on the skin of one of the bat-like beasts. The next moment, it's body was consumed in a fiery explosion. It's allies watched in horror and confusion before another one exploded in deadly flames.
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When the fire went away, nothing was left. No flesh, no bones, not even any ash seemed to remain.
The creatures let out various shrieks as they started to scatter. Several dove underwater, but the sparkling followed them even there. Completely submerged they were still consumed.
BANG! BANG! BANG!
Sentenza joined in and started to shoot down the stragglers. Sid leaped up from underwater with his trusty speed limit sign, and crushed their skulls. Og'drimun pinged several of them with his tiny teeth. This didn't kill any of course, but it sure seemed to irritate them just before they were painfully consumed by fire.
Ted gasped for air as Death pulled him up into a giant paper boat. Pockets must've found the time to fold it when she was finished riding the giant hose.
Hey bro, glad to see your only half drowned. Hahaha... Death paused to look down. His ribs were absolutely chocked full of various knives. It was to the point that you almost couldn't see his bones from how tightly packed together all the knives were.
He turned to look at Pockets. She had folded a paper hat for herself, and was trying to whistle nonchalantly as she looked away from him. She pulled out a limp balloon, and while failing to whistle, she blew it up and started to fold it into a balloon animal.
Dude, is this really the time? Death asked as he motioned to his full ribcage.
"I really have no idea what you're talking about," Pockets lied as a bead of sweat rolled down her forehead.
Look, we seriously need to have a talk about...wait, what's that? Death gulped as he took a step back and raised up his hands.
"I couldn't possibly know." Pockets lied again as she finished making a balloon animal dog.
It was twice her size, and currently staring at Death with its unnerving lack of eyes. When it took a step forward, Death ran to the other side of the paper boat away from it.
As the inflatable dog chased him, Death called out. Down doggy! Down boy! These bones aren't for eating!
Ted couldn't help but chuckle as the balloon dog knocked him to the ground of the boat. It got even funnier as the bouncy dog started to bark in a high pitched voice. Almost like it had swallowed a ton of helium.
The threw of them were too distracted by the antics on the boat to notice the water had stopped pouring into the room. Not only that, but large cracks had started to appear all over the room. Narissa kept chanting, but looked around nervously.
Sentenza smirked. "Finally managed to grab what we came for." He said. "I'm sure you know what that means."
Narissa's eyes widened and she immediately stopped. "You...you what! You ripped it out and still made me drain it like that?"
Sentenza tipped up his hat with his gun's barrel. "Figured it'd be better to leave on a clean break. Speaking of which..." he said before he dove under the water.
"You insane..." Narissa grumbled. "Everyone! We have to get out of here now! Dive down to the control room near the center if you don't want to die!"
Death looked up towards her from the squishy jaws of the balloon dog that held him. Ted looked confused, but Pockets just pulled out a periscope from her pants and winked.
"Looks like it's time to dive!" Pockets cheered before she made an "awoooga!" Sound like the alarm on an old submarine as it dove.
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