《The Bartender at the End of the Universe》Ch 202: When a Fool is Your only Hope
Advertisement
It was cold, and isolated. Dark, and alone. Sinking amidst a sea of frigid waters so salty no ice could form. Then, a bright light shone from above. It got closer and closer, faster and faster.
Then it was gone. Leaving nothing but a handprint burned onto the edge of the tomb. The light faded, and with it gone the isolation came flooding back in. Alone, cold, and lost with nothing but a single handprint to prove someone else ever truly existed.
"Come on, you had trouble with these losers?" Og'drimun scoffed.
The small demon was flying above the red water as it continued to pour into the room. The others all seemed to be struggling to keep from being pushed under the water to various degrees.
Lulu climbed up onto one of the various machines, and spat out the red liquid. She wiped her face off and then pushed her hair back and threw off a large amount of water with it.
"Well, why don't you take the first swing at them then?" Lulu suggested.
Yeah bro! You can fly, they can fly, it's basically an even fight. Death agreed as he appeared out of thin air behind Lulu.
SKRRRTT!
A knife plunged in between Death's ribs. It rattled against the two bones before it was retracted with a giggle. Lulu had disappeared, and in her place was Pockets, who had a crazed, yet loving look in her eye as she stabbed between Death's ribs again and slowly twisted the knife.
"Even fight? Hah! I'm far superior to them, why it wouldn't even be called a fight really it'd be so one sided." Og'drimun boasted as he carefully made sure to float away from the swarm of aggressive creatures.
Hey! You can't just like do that dude! Death complained. As he looked down in astonishment at the knife treating him like a fresh onion.
Advertisement
Narissa grabbed ahold of Pockets ankle and managed to pull her head up from the water with a gasp. She was completely drenched, and looked absolutely irritated. "Oh Death dear," she said in a dangerously cheery sing song voice. "Care to explain why you three chose to flood us down he..urk!"
Narissa fell under the water again. The leg she grabbed turned out to be a wooden peg leg in a clown shoe that broke off rather quickly as she used it to support her weight.
Pockets took a moment to stop toying with Death to glance over at Narissa's struggling. Her real leg also decided to slide out from her oversized pants to slip down into her shoe. She glanced back at Death's exposed chest with glee before she turned back towards Narissa's struggling.
"Don't worry," she finally relented. "I can help!"
And with that, Pockets shoved both of her hands down her pants and rummaged around for something. She pulled out a bowling ball that she tossed into the water with a "Nope."
She pulled out a garden hose and then tossed it aside as well as she said, "Closer, but still not it."
A third time she pulled something out of her pants. It was a rubber ducky, but it was so small it fit on the tip of her finger. "Perfect!"
Pockets turned towards Narissa. She grabbed a baseball cap out of her back pocket and put it on backwards. She popped some big league chew from another pocket into her mouth and she nodded seriously as she wound up like a baseball pitcher. Then, she threw the miniature ducky out into the flooding room where Narissa was still struggling.
The tiny toy landed with a dainty splash right by the witch. Narissa managed to keep her head above the rapidly rising water just long enough to glare at the clown. Almost as if to say she would kill her if she could.
Advertisement
So, uh...how exactly is that thing gonna help her? Death asked.
"Huh?" Pockets asked in a very confused tone. "Help her?"
Narissa's glare got more violent as she tried to wave her hands around under the water. But when she tried, the force of new water coming in would move her hands off course. While trying to do something with her hands other than treading water made her sink further below the waves.
"Oh yeah! Help, of course." Pockets giggled as she pulled out a bicycle pump.
It was now that it became obvious that the tiny ducky had a comically long hose attached to it that connected to the bicycle pump. Pockets began to pump as quickly as she could, and the rubber ducky started to grow in size.
It grew bigger and bigger and bigger. When it was the size of a pizza, Narissa lunged towards it and wrapped her arms around the bath toy. But, it didn't stop there. Pockets kept pumping more and more air into it, and it continued to grow bigger and bigger.
The duck's head pressed against the ceiling as it gently rocked back and forth. It was now the size of a cargo van. Narissa sat with her legs to one side of its neck. She looked like a drowned rat, and her white gloves were stained a dark pink.
"Hey look out!" Og'drimun cried.
SCHWING!
Death had been too distracted by the show to notice the swarm had started to dry itself off and approached with his scythe. They swung the weapon and sliced right through the neck of the fake skeleton Pockets was holding like a puppet.
Whoa! Death cried out as he appeared behind Narissa. That was way too close. For a second I thought they'd just sliced my neck, not the dummies.
"There's no need for name calling," Pockets pouted. "Cal is no dummy. Why he's from the noble line of Seeum after all."
Pockets pulled some strings connected to her finger and the beheaded skeletons jaw began to move. "That's alright," the skeleton seemed to say in a poorly disguised voice being done by Pockets. Although her lips didn't seem to move at all. "I don't have a bone to pick with him."
"Oh Cal you're so generous!" Pockets squeezed.
SCHWING!
The swarm seemed indifferent to her antics and swung the weapon st the clown. Luckily enough, at that exact moment, she managed to slip on a banana peel and flew out of the way off the blade.
Sentenza had his back pressed up against the bars of the prison with the false back. He looked exhausted with antics going on around him. He reached down and pulled up Ted, who gasped for air before he started to hack and cough.
"Bad move there boss," Sentenza chided. "You've given away your position with that."
It seems he was right. Despite the clown and her skeleton dummy being right there, the swarm seemed to turn their gaze over towards the coughing Ted.
"Well excuse me,*cough cough* for almost drowning." Ted managed to wheeze.
"Apology accepted," Sentenza said with a slight nod of his head. "Now you better get ready, because here they come."
Advertisement
- In Serial8 Chapters
The Last Breath
When Yezzu first sent his sons to the realm of men, they brought with them the magic of the gods. They created the three kingdoms we now have today being Dremshen, Ex'ol, and Kantillion. In the five thousand years since the gods left, much has changed. Great wars were fought, Universities were built, civilizations were created. One thing remained after the gods' departure though, their powers. Today, the balance of crafting the three gods brought has shifted. In the beginning, each had the same skill as the other, but the magic that was passed down through the millennia has diminished. The struggle for power that started long ago is coming to a defining moment. Plots of war and assassination are being weaved. Don't despair, for we may yet be saved from the disasters to come. Our hope lies in three young crafters. The first is William Divus, who sets out from his small village into the Dremshen Kingdom to study crafting after his father's passing. His questions about his father and his quest for knowledge drive him. Next comes Ehzahn Obasi, an Ex'olian thief with unparalleled skill. He steals for the thrill, no longer needing the rewards that come with it. He has just achieved his lifelong dream, but he will soon learn how much he underestimated the fallout from his daring theft. The last is Ki Soru, the niece of a powerful duke. She showed promise with crafting at a young age, so she had the best training the Kantillion Kingdom had to offer. Ten years have passed since her lessons began, leaving the king unsatisfied with the results. Her life is upended when her new teacher arrives, revealing a secret kept from her that changes her whole life. These three are our heroes. They were born in separate kingdoms under vastly differing upbringing, but each with their own part to play in the challenges to come. Here begins our tale of mischief and misery with only but a sliver of hope.
8 144 - In Serial13 Chapters
Run to the Sky
What do you intend to pursue? He runs. He runs more. What do you intend to finish? He fails. He fails hard. Because...? He quits. Whether by choice or by accident, it has been seven years ever since. There is more to life than running... and he runs away from it. And now? Does the track call you back? Who will listen? Is this just another running narrative? Shall we go then?It was 2015. It is now 2022. Follow the story of Rendo Lobo, a poverty-stricken student who left his running passion to pursue something... or someone... else. Yet, is it worth it? In the seemingly endless difficulties of an apparently normal life, will it be fight or flight? The passing moment is here!Read the latest work of Al Raposas, "Run to the Sky" (Takbo Papuntang Langit) here. #RTSPlanning: January 17, 2017Writing: February 7, 2017Published online first on Wattpad: February 17, 2017Published online in Royal Road: March 4, 2017
8 160 - In Serial56 Chapters
Mastery
An ex soldier is dropped into a forest unfamiliar. He meets people who speak a language he doesnt know, they wield weapons unfamiliar and fight forces unimaginable. This soldier chooses a path, a path few walk and none ever complete. He has chosen the path of mastery. Pic isnt mine! Daily chapters are the aim, at a minimum of 2000 words. DO NOT HOWEVER EXPECT FLAWLESS WORK, THIS IS RAW AND UNEDITED, QUANTITY OVER QUALITY!
8 208 - In Serial12 Chapters
The Castaway Isle
8 102 - In Serial16 Chapters
Unlimited Wishes. (Re-write)
My name's Vincent Heflin, god accidently summoned me, hoping I'd be a hot babe... he was quite obviously, dissapointed, so to get me the hell out of there, he asked me what wish I would like, and I chose Unlimited Wishes, and he accidently agreed... so, now I have a lot of power, and a lot of fun is to be had :D
8 164 - In Serial71 Chapters
Tidel Wave Nico Di Angelo x Reader
Completed (: Warning: this is my first work! To me, it's kinda cringe but I need to edit it. (: kinda cliche I guess.You are 15 years old and the only half-blood that Nico Di Angelo can stand. Little do they know that they have crushes on each other. This is after the second titan war and war with Gaea. This will have quest, drama, almost dying and more.I DONT OWN THESE CHARACTERS: ALL RIGHTS TO RICK RIODAN!!!!
8 111

