《The Bartender at the End of the Universe》Ch 202: When a Fool is Your only Hope
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It was cold, and isolated. Dark, and alone. Sinking amidst a sea of frigid waters so salty no ice could form. Then, a bright light shone from above. It got closer and closer, faster and faster.
Then it was gone. Leaving nothing but a handprint burned onto the edge of the tomb. The light faded, and with it gone the isolation came flooding back in. Alone, cold, and lost with nothing but a single handprint to prove someone else ever truly existed.
"Come on, you had trouble with these losers?" Og'drimun scoffed.
The small demon was flying above the red water as it continued to pour into the room. The others all seemed to be struggling to keep from being pushed under the water to various degrees.
Lulu climbed up onto one of the various machines, and spat out the red liquid. She wiped her face off and then pushed her hair back and threw off a large amount of water with it.
"Well, why don't you take the first swing at them then?" Lulu suggested.
Yeah bro! You can fly, they can fly, it's basically an even fight. Death agreed as he appeared out of thin air behind Lulu.
SKRRRTT!
A knife plunged in between Death's ribs. It rattled against the two bones before it was retracted with a giggle. Lulu had disappeared, and in her place was Pockets, who had a crazed, yet loving look in her eye as she stabbed between Death's ribs again and slowly twisted the knife.
"Even fight? Hah! I'm far superior to them, why it wouldn't even be called a fight really it'd be so one sided." Og'drimun boasted as he carefully made sure to float away from the swarm of aggressive creatures.
Hey! You can't just like do that dude! Death complained. As he looked down in astonishment at the knife treating him like a fresh onion.
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Narissa grabbed ahold of Pockets ankle and managed to pull her head up from the water with a gasp. She was completely drenched, and looked absolutely irritated. "Oh Death dear," she said in a dangerously cheery sing song voice. "Care to explain why you three chose to flood us down he..urk!"
Narissa fell under the water again. The leg she grabbed turned out to be a wooden peg leg in a clown shoe that broke off rather quickly as she used it to support her weight.
Pockets took a moment to stop toying with Death to glance over at Narissa's struggling. Her real leg also decided to slide out from her oversized pants to slip down into her shoe. She glanced back at Death's exposed chest with glee before she turned back towards Narissa's struggling.
"Don't worry," she finally relented. "I can help!"
And with that, Pockets shoved both of her hands down her pants and rummaged around for something. She pulled out a bowling ball that she tossed into the water with a "Nope."
She pulled out a garden hose and then tossed it aside as well as she said, "Closer, but still not it."
A third time she pulled something out of her pants. It was a rubber ducky, but it was so small it fit on the tip of her finger. "Perfect!"
Pockets turned towards Narissa. She grabbed a baseball cap out of her back pocket and put it on backwards. She popped some big league chew from another pocket into her mouth and she nodded seriously as she wound up like a baseball pitcher. Then, she threw the miniature ducky out into the flooding room where Narissa was still struggling.
The tiny toy landed with a dainty splash right by the witch. Narissa managed to keep her head above the rapidly rising water just long enough to glare at the clown. Almost as if to say she would kill her if she could.
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So, uh...how exactly is that thing gonna help her? Death asked.
"Huh?" Pockets asked in a very confused tone. "Help her?"
Narissa's glare got more violent as she tried to wave her hands around under the water. But when she tried, the force of new water coming in would move her hands off course. While trying to do something with her hands other than treading water made her sink further below the waves.
"Oh yeah! Help, of course." Pockets giggled as she pulled out a bicycle pump.
It was now that it became obvious that the tiny ducky had a comically long hose attached to it that connected to the bicycle pump. Pockets began to pump as quickly as she could, and the rubber ducky started to grow in size.
It grew bigger and bigger and bigger. When it was the size of a pizza, Narissa lunged towards it and wrapped her arms around the bath toy. But, it didn't stop there. Pockets kept pumping more and more air into it, and it continued to grow bigger and bigger.
The duck's head pressed against the ceiling as it gently rocked back and forth. It was now the size of a cargo van. Narissa sat with her legs to one side of its neck. She looked like a drowned rat, and her white gloves were stained a dark pink.
"Hey look out!" Og'drimun cried.
SCHWING!
Death had been too distracted by the show to notice the swarm had started to dry itself off and approached with his scythe. They swung the weapon and sliced right through the neck of the fake skeleton Pockets was holding like a puppet.
Whoa! Death cried out as he appeared behind Narissa. That was way too close. For a second I thought they'd just sliced my neck, not the dummies.
"There's no need for name calling," Pockets pouted. "Cal is no dummy. Why he's from the noble line of Seeum after all."
Pockets pulled some strings connected to her finger and the beheaded skeletons jaw began to move. "That's alright," the skeleton seemed to say in a poorly disguised voice being done by Pockets. Although her lips didn't seem to move at all. "I don't have a bone to pick with him."
"Oh Cal you're so generous!" Pockets squeezed.
SCHWING!
The swarm seemed indifferent to her antics and swung the weapon st the clown. Luckily enough, at that exact moment, she managed to slip on a banana peel and flew out of the way off the blade.
Sentenza had his back pressed up against the bars of the prison with the false back. He looked exhausted with antics going on around him. He reached down and pulled up Ted, who gasped for air before he started to hack and cough.
"Bad move there boss," Sentenza chided. "You've given away your position with that."
It seems he was right. Despite the clown and her skeleton dummy being right there, the swarm seemed to turn their gaze over towards the coughing Ted.
"Well excuse me,*cough cough* for almost drowning." Ted managed to wheeze.
"Apology accepted," Sentenza said with a slight nod of his head. "Now you better get ready, because here they come."
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