《The Bartender at the End of the Universe》Ch 130: An Unexpected Reunion
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Ted let out a loud cough. He was on his hands and knees, and it felt like his lungs were filled with phlegm that his body was fighting to push out of his mouth. After what felt like hours of coughing, he finally managed to get ahold of himself and stop.
He was panting. He was exhausted, the violent convulsions had taken it out of him, and the constant pressure from his lungs had made it hard to get much air at all.
Ted closed his eyes and tried to focus. Where was he again? Why was he here?
Then it hit him. Of course. He was brewing beer. What else would he be doing.
Ted pushed himself up and looked around. The open-air brewery always felt off to him. The lack of a roof and most walls made him feel exposed, but he knew that the design was a firm choice.
Ted clapped his hands together and then rubbed them quickly. "Alright, just need to remember..."
"Phew, seems that one really took it out of you. Huh, nephew?"
A deep baritone voice called out to Ted. The voice had this strange underlying playfulness despite the rich, low tones.
Ted turned back and smiled. "What? I mean, I think I handled that pretty well all things considered."
His Uncle raised an eyebrow as he smirked. "Did you now?"
Ted felt strange. There was this strong, almost overwhelming sense of sadness when he looked at his uncle. It started small when he heard his voice, but now that he saw him, it was almost enough to force him to cry out.
It didn't make any sense. Why would he be so sad? He was staying with his uncle after all. It started to frustrate him. Out of everyone, why would seeing his uncle make him sad? He was the one who made an effort, who actually tried to show that they cared about him.
While Ted wrestled with his internal feelings, his uncle walked forward and put a hand on his shoulder. Almost like magic, his sorrow and confusion seemed to all but melt away with just a small ember of sadness burning deep within him instead of the storm that threatened to overtake him a moment ago.
"You're looking a bit green there, kid. Do you need to go rest inside for a bit?" Ted's uncle asked as he tried to look him in the eyes.
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Ted tried, but he couldn't meet his gaze for some reason. "Huh? No. I'm fine. Just thinking about some stuff," Ted shrugged off his internal concerns. There was no reason to burden his uncle with those.
The hand on Ted's shoulder quickly turned to a firm pat on his back. "Alright then! You know yourself better than I do, haha! Just no point in pushing it. Alcohol really does love a lazy brewer. Why this one time I had a batch of water jug mead I was making see, but that was back when I still worked for the hospital. Real busy just trying to survive back then, and..."
"Yeah yeah," Ted smirked as he rolled his eyes. "You try and tell me that same story at least once a week if not every day."
His uncle paused as he tilted his face to the side. "I do? Hmm, nope. Doesn't sound like me," he said after a moment of fake contemplation. He tapped his forehead as he smiled broadly. "My mind is like a steel trap, nothing gets out. So I'm sure I'd remember telling you a story."
"Riiiiggghhhtttt," Ted rolled his eyes again. "I think you mean your head is like a brew bag. Stuff just flows straight through it."
"Well," his uncle said as he seemed to mull over Ted's words. "Not the chunks. Those important bits I'm sure I've got kept up in there."
Ted couldn't help but laugh. Although, for some reason, a single tear rolled down his cheek.
His uncle joined him with his own laugh. "So, the real question now. Which tasted better?"
"Huh?"
"Come now, the whole reason you were losing your lungs earlier," his uncle said. "Which one tasted better, the scorpion pepper or the ghost pepper?"
Ted tried to think back. "It's kinda hazy..."
"Oh, that bad huh?"
"No. Yes. I mean..."
"No problem, take all the time you need," his uncle offered.
Ted closed his eyes and thought back. There was this warm sensation. It started on his tongue, and then spread to coat the entire inside of his mouth. It was like siting by a fire after getting through a snowstorm. Then the warmth spread down his throat. It was pure bliss. But, things changed. Quickly the warm sensation grew hotter and hotter.
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Then, it was burning, like his entire mouth and throat were being stabbed by a million tiny demons with their pitchforks. The heat rose until he felt like he would surely lose consciousness. Death would have been a relief, but he had to endure it.
"It was," Ted finally managed to wheeze as even just the thought of it seemed to bring back some of the pain. "Just pure hot."
"Hmm?" He picked up a bottle and swished around the red liquid inside. Then he put it to his lips and threw it back. He smacked his lips as he took it away.
"You know." Ted's uncle said in a raspy voice. "I think you're right. Can't even taste the nutmeg or oak. Just liquid fire here."
He sniffed aggressively and nodded. "Yeah, not one to keep around for friends and family. But..." he set the bottle down and picked up a second one that was a golden amber color. "Maybe the scorpion will be more subtle."
He took another swig and his eyes started to water as he seemed to contemplate the flavor.
"Oh yeah...feels like I'm going to die," he wheezed out before he started to get into his own coughing fit.
Ted watched in slight horror as it went just how he expected. He looked around and grabbed the small carton of cream. He quickly handed it to his uncle. After all, this must have been what he gave Ted to help him overcame when he tasted the devilish drinks.
But, his uncle held a hand up and refused it. "No...no," he groaned as he regained some of his composure. "If I want to subject people to this as a joke sometime, I'll need to be able to endure through the full effect."
"That sounds...stupid," Ted said bluntly. "You're making yourself suffer for literally no reason uncle."
His uncle shook his head. "I told you the reason," he groaned. "It makes perfect sense!"
"You already know what it's like." Ted reasoned as he pushed the carton of heavy cream closer. "Why not do what you can to end this early?"
His uncle faltered a moment. There was a strange weariness in his eyes as he reached for the carton, but it was gone in a flash. It was replaced by a fierce determination as he pulled his hand back towards himself and then threw himself onto the ground and rolled to his back.
"Instead of the cream. Do you want to just lie here a bit and watch the clouds?" His uncle offered as his voice got raspier and raspier. "It kinda hurts to talk."
Ted rolled his eyes and joined his uncle on the ground. "You're a real weirdo, you know that?"
His uncle just smiled as him.
The two of them lied there for hours. Neither one said much as the sounds of nature around them made a quiet lullaby as they lazed around.
Finally, the silence was broken by Ted's uncle. "Nephew?"
"Yeah Uncle?"
"Thanks."
"For what?"
A lot of the harshness from the spicy drinks had faded from his uncle's voice. It had returned to its reassuringly deep and soothing tones. "For being here. It means a lot to me."
"Uncle..."
"You mean a lot to me, kid." His uncle let out a deep sigh as a look of sadness washed over his face. "Try not to be too harsh on your grandparents. It wasn't because of you."
"That they moved across the country?" Ted asked with a cold venom in his voice.
His uncle rolled over to look at Ted. "People make plenty of mistakes but let me be clear. You are not one of them."
"You're not a mistake Ted." His uncle said firmly. "And just by being here you've made my life a million times better. I love you kid, I really do. And nothing will change that."
Ted rolled away from his uncle as tears started to form in his eyes. It wasn't just what his uncle was saying, but there was something else. Something deeper about this that made it even sadder, but he just couldn't put his finger on it.
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