《The Bartender at the End of the Universe》Ch 110: Starting Back Up
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Hey uh...want to let me go?
Death's question fell on deaf ears. His skeletal head was locked in a cage attached to the hip of the one-eyed attacker. The cage looked like two flat, circular pieces with bars of pure, yellow energy trapping his skull inside. The device looked like it had seen much better days, with rust and age worn into the metal top and bottom.
Hey! Hey, listen to me. Death called out as he tried to rattle around inside his cage.
But again, he was ignored. Then, the high-pitched beeping of an alarm started to go off. The one-eyed creature looked down and reached an arm inside its strips of fabric. It pulled out a disc with a small lightbulb in the middle and a small screen on the bottom that displayed a constant flashing of symbols. The lightbulb was slowly illuminating and then dimming again. All while the beeping rang out from the device.
Could you at least turn that thing down? It's giving me a headache man. Death asked as he tried to roll to the side to get a better look at the device.
Suddenly, the entire building began to shake. The one-eyed creature grabbed onto a railing with a three clawed hand, while he inspected the device. Gravity quickly shifted, and as up became down, the creature easily maneuvered around the railing and landed on a set of stairs. Death bounced around the small cage, and as he settled back again, he looked over and gasped.
Oh man, my body! He whined as he saw his headless body in a free fall. How high up even are we? Dude...you couldn't even catch the rest of me and, I don't know, set me down somewhere?
Yet again, Death was ignored as the machine suddenly lifted its head from the device and looked over the side of the stairs and down away from Death's still falling body. It glanced back at the device once more before it tucked it away underneath it's clothes and then began to walk down the steps at a quick pace. Death's skull was rocked up and down as their body moved shook around with their rushing legs.
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Whoa! Come on bro, I didn't sign on for the rodeo. Death remarked. I know I'm tough, but I'm not meant to be jostled around so much. Man, if I could hurl, I would totally have plastered you by now. Consider yourself lucky for that.
"Curious, for someone without a voice box you sure talk a lot." The voice sounded like it was coming out of an old drive through speaker. Frazzled and crackling it rang out.
Aha! I knew you could speak, now seriously. My body? And maybe a little less shaking. Death suggested.
"You seem to misunderstand the situation," came the reply. "You are a prisoner and will be dissected to better understand how you work."
If you're going to tear me apart, shouldn't you at least have taken all of me with you? Death asked as he tried to keep himself from bouncing around too much by opening his jaw and closing it to try and balance better.
"Your remains can be retrieved at a later time. The importance of your control module far exceeds that of the rest of your form." it explained.
Look man, I know remains, trust me, and those bones you are letting fall down? Those are definitely not remains. Death said. Besides, my body may not be the brightest, but it can do pretty well for itself. I just hate to see it crash like that.
"Curious. It can operate independently of your directions?" it asked.
Uhhh...kinda? Then, a flash of inspiration struck in Death's eye sockets. I mean, yeah definitely. You should go grab it and see for yourself.
The creature glanced down at the skull in its cage and then nodded. "An excellent suggestion. After I respond to the distress beacon, and secure you in the lab, I will do just that."
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Lab? I gotta say. I never really got that whole science schtick bro. Why not just grab the rest of me now?
"It is not a priority." came the unenthusiastic response. "And you do not have any say in the matter, as you are a prisoner."
Pretty harsh man. Wait...what was that about a distress thingy? Something going on down here? I mean, we've just been walking through pretty much.
"It is odd."
Huh? What is bro? Death asked.
The one-eyed creature glanced down at the skull again. "Responding to your questions is not beneficial. Yet, it seems the correct thing to do here. It would make more sense to continue to do my work in silence as I always have, but here I am conversing with you."
It's not your fault. Death grinned. It's my charm and personality. I'm completely irresistible, you know?
"Curious..."
But you can't just say something and then bury it man. What's the distress stuff about? Some science bros in trouble because of an escaped experiment? Death theorized. Did they try and combine a gorilla with a chimpanzee so they could try and lure out bigfoot? Or maybe they gave a pig rocket legs so it could fly, because they wanted to prove a point to some girl that said they'd date them when "pigs fly" or something?
"Those are certainly some thoughts, but no." the creature explained as it continued to make its way down the stairs. "One of the core reactors was forced online and disconnected from remote operation. Power is not unlimited, and the reactor started a chain reaction that is bringing the full facility online. There is a high chance that once it is fully online the strain on the power reserves could make the entire building go critical. This is best avoided, and so I am going to safely shut it down again."
Dang, that sounds like a tough job. If only you had a totally buff skeleton to help you combat this crisis. Death sighed. If only there was some sort of freefalling body nearby that could easily be grabbed on the way and help fix this pressing issue.
"Too bad no one trained in how to operate the facility is nearby, yes." the creature agreed, as they seemed to completely miss Death's point.
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