《The Bartender at the End of the Universe》Ch 104: A Flower or a Weed
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"It feels like we haven't had much time with just the two of us," Narissa said as she carefully jumped from one pipe to another a few feet away.
Ted looked down past the pipe and felt what he thought was a very reasonable fear of falling to his death. I mean, so many video games conditioned him that pits were a death sentence, and he could even see the bottom of some of those! Yeah, he was sure that was it. This fear was just reinforced from video games, like how his worry about quicksand came from cartoons he watched as a kid. I mean, who has actually run into quicksand in their life?
Narissa raised an eyebrow as Ted seemed to be struggling to even attempt to make the simple jump. "Ted? It's just a little hop dear, nothing to stress over so much."
Her voice shook him out of his spiraling thoughts. "Huh? I mean, every jump is kind of worrying, isn't it? That's a really long way to fall. It's so far down, I bet I'd get tired of screaming before I actually hit the bottom."
Narissa put her hand under her chin and laughed. "Why, if you fell, I'd just have to jump after you again, wouldn't I?"
Ted smiled weakly. "Right. Of course."
He took in a deep breath and closed his eyes. He tried to calm himself down but forcing himself to focus on calming down only seemed to make him worry even more.
"Well, whatever you're thinking about, it clearly isn't working sweetie." Narissa sighed. "How about we talk about something to get your mind off of the worry of falling to your death?"
"You know, pointing it out so bluntly isn't really helping either," Ted bristled.
"All the more reason to change the subject, so why don't you talk about some alcohol you like, or something like that?" Narissa suggested. "Maybe something about an actually flavorful drink, and not just the harsh stuff the others all love. How they tolerate paint thinner, I'll never really understand."
Ted opened his eyes and shook his head. "Alright alright. Let me think." He paused as he tried to remember something that wasn't how incredibly high up he was without a single safety railing.
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"One thing that was a fun addition to making alcohol, was foraging." Ted finally said.
"Foraging? What do you mean?" Narissa asked with a smirk as she stepped back a little from the edge of the pipe.
"Like, gathering ingredients from the great outdoors to use in drinks. I mean, early on, most of my flavoring was done by adding syrup after distilling or just after fermenting. That's a lot easier, because fermenting can strip a lot of sweeter flavors away, but adding flavor after that's done makes sure you get it all in there. Distilling doesn't strip away as much, but it can concentrate some weird aspects while leaving others much lighter than you'd expect." Ted continued.
"Sounds like making a flavorless alcohol and then adding things later is preferable then." Narissa pointed out.
Ted swayed his head back and forth before he took a short running start and jumped across the small gap. He landed well across, and he and Narissa started to walk along the pipe as he continued.
"Sometimes flavors develop better after distilling and fermenting. Like, absinthe can be pretty foul before it's finished, and it's the same for rum. I wouldn't drink a rum wash if I could help it. Especially if it has some dunder in it like any good rum should." He continued. "A lot of sweeter things do better added later, like blackberry anything is always much improved if you make it with blackberries, but add a little blackberry syrup once its done. Really makes the flavor pop, you know?"
"I think I do."
"I think I'm kind of bouncing around topics, aren't I?" Ted chuckled as he rubbed the back of his neck.
Narissa shrugged. "Staying on topic isn't really the point right now, but if you're worried about it, you were talking about foraging?"
"Right! Well, a good example of something that's better when put in before and through the fermenting process that's foraged, would be dandelions." Ted said as he walked along the pipe. "Although it's a real pain, and every time after I made some, I would think that it was definitely not worth it."
"Well, then why would you do it repeatedly if it wasn't worth it?" Narissa asked.
Ted scratched his chin. "I think. I think I'd just get bored each spring and end up doing it again out of habit. But you need a ton of dandelions, because you just want the yellow petals. None of the stem, leaves, or anything. Just those tiny yellow bits. So, I'd go out and gather a ton of dandelions, and then strip them down to just the petals. And when I say a ton, I mean, a ton. For just a gallon of dandelion wine you need like three quarts of the petals."
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"That does sound like a good amount." Narissa added. "What did you do with the rest of the dandelion after plucking the petals?"
"Hmm? Well, I'd throw them away." Ted shrugged.
"Ah, such a waste. They really are quite nice. With the leaves being great to help with digestion or even just in a salad. The root is a fairly good drink as well. Surprisingly beneficial to help awaken your body."
"Sure sure," Ted chuckled. "Just incredibly bitter."
"Bitter is a flavor like any other." Narissa countered. "It's good to have a balance now and then."
"Like with the unflavored rum?" Ted asked.
"That's...different."
"Oh, I'm so sure."
"Why don't you get back to how you made that dandelion wine then, hmm?"
Ted thought about continuing to tease her but decided against it. For now, at least. "Okay. The simplest form of the recipe was a gallon of water. three quarts of dandelion petals, a lemon, two oranges, three pounds of sugar, a tablespoon or two of yeast, and some raisins. You boil the water, then add in the dandelion petals. Cover that with a towel and let it steep for three days, stirring it a few times each day to keep the petals from just settling on the top."
Ted stopped and took in a deep breath. "Ah, they'd have this musty smell. Always reminded me of camping. Like when there's just a little too much water indoors that's been left alone for a long time, but not enough that there's mold, you know?"
"Sure..." Narissa said not very convincingly.
Ted didn't notice however and continued with the instructions. "Well, after three days, zest half the lemon and one orange. Then peel the rind off, and then slice the fruits. You want to try and get off as much of the white stuff that connects the rind to the fruit. If you can get all of it completely gone, that'd the best, but as much as possible to avoid extra bitterness from that. Add just the zest and bring the flower water to a boil again. Once it's boiling remove from the heat and strain out all the flowers. With the dandelions gone, add the sugar and let it dissolve and cool down. Add the fruit and put it in a glass container to ferment, with an airlock."
Ted paused and added, "You could also just use something like a clean towel over the pot and hold that down with rubber bands. Really, people put too much into specific equipment. You don't have to get things perfect, alcohol can be very forgiving as long as you don't need exact flavors reproduced every time. If a ballpark is good enough, you could use what any kitchen will have on hand to do it all."
"If you keep it in a warm and dark place, after about two weeks, it should be done fermenting. Then you transfer it to bottles, by racking it, or just pouring it in with a funnel and several layers of some really good cheesecloth. Then store those bottles in a cool and dark place for about six months and they'll be ready to drink." Ted added. "it's not bad actually. Definitely feels almost like drinking spring itself in a bottle."
"How romantic," Narissa teased. "You think of that yourself?"
"Pfft, I can be creative when I need to be! But there's no dandelions here, so that drinks out."
"For now, maybe. But you never know with how this place is."
Ted nodded. "Fair enough. But you seemed to know a good deal about dandelions, so why don't you talk about that?"
Narissa put a hand over her chest. "Sharing the conversation? Why I never thought I'd see the day."
Ted blushed. "Sorry, I just..."
"Come on, I was only teasing you," she said as she patted his shoulder. "Now, why don't I regale you with the true value of the humble dandelion."
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