《The Bartender at the End of the Universe》Ch 101: Slippery Footing
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Ted's leg slipped over the edge of the pipe. As he stretched his hands out, he couldn't help but turn his face down to see where he was falling. It was a straight shot down that from his perspective seemed to stretch for miles and miles. As he stared and slipped backwards, it seemed to grow further and further. His stomach lurched as he felt a spark flow through his entire body.
Ted stopped abruptly, and then his other leg slipped off of the pipe.
"Bbbbeee aaa llliiittttllleeee mmmooorrreee cccaaarrrreeefffuuulll." Bakade said as she gripped Ted's shirt.
RIP
Ted turned back to look at Bakade as his shirt ripped in her grip, and he started to fall down.
"Ted!" Trizel called out as he fell quickly out of their reach.
Sentenza put a hand on Trizel's shoulder and shook his head. "You're too heavy. You'd only risk him more." He said coldly.
I've got an idea! Why don't I head down and catch him? Death declared before he cracked the bones in his neck as if he was playing a xylophone. Maybe I can hook us onto a different set of stairs or a pipe or something?
"So, is this a bad time to practice some banana peel tricks?" Pockets asked as she winked and stuck out her tongue playfully.
"I mean, I'd offer to help," Og'drimun said as he stretched his arms over his head. "But, falling is a lot faster than flying. At least when you're as large as he is. Shoot, just sucks that my hands are tied like this."
Narissa frowned as she listened to Og'drimun, but then a small smirk crept onto her face before she looked over at Sentenza. The cowboy was looking over the edge and seemed to miss her glance. So, she backed up towards the opposite edge of the large pipe. She spread her arms out and then closed her eyes as she leaned back and fell off of the edge.
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Don't panic, Death said as he appeared behind Ted. He put a bony hand onto his shoulder and fell with him. I wouldn't just leave you hanging dude.
Ted tried to force a smile. He knew Death meant well, but there was something about being terrified for your life and seeing the personification of Death appear that only really served to unnerve him more. Almost like his arrival was a sign of how bad his prospect of survival really was.
Death held out his scythe, completely unaware of how nervous Ted was. A narrow pipe that wasn't even wide enough to stand on safely was getting closer as the two of them fell. As they started to pass it, he held his scythe to catch it. For a moment, it seemed to work, and they slowed down. However, it was only a brief moment as the scythe quickly slid through the pipe as if it was water.
Uh...okay. Maybe we're in a little trouble now. Death admitted.
Ted finally managed to find his voice as his brain tried to rush and find a way to survive. "What if you pulled off one of your arms, and tried to hook with that instead of your sharp weapon?"
A scythe is really more of a tool than a weapon. Death explained.
"I'm not sure that's really the point that should be made right now?" Ted suggested.
"Now now boys, don't fight."
The two of them turned their heads up as they saw Narissa falling down towards them like a rocket. With her arms back by her side, and a crazed look in her eyes. Before either of them could respond, she crashed into the two of them, and grabbed onto Ted's bicep.
"Hold on tight but stay relaxed if you don't want to hurt something." She said as she plucked a single hair from her head. She twisted it between two of her fingers before she gently blew onto it. The hair twisted and stretched, until it grew into a wooden broom.
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After a moment, it stuck in place in the air, and the three of them came crashing to a stop. As Ted let out a sigh of relief, the broom fell down a good six feet or so.
"Uh oh," Narissa said. "I was afraid of that."
Neat trick! But uh...afraid of what?
"The magical density in here is interfering with my spells. This should have no problem flying constantly for months, but it's already running out of juice." As if to punctuate her words, the broom fell down another few feet.
"Then you need to hurry and land it...how about there!" Ted pointed his finger towards the underside of a set of curved stairs.
Narissa nodded, and the broom lurched like a nervous teenager driving stick shift for the first time as they shakily made their way to the stairs. The three of them landed safely, but as soon as firm ground was under their feet, Narissa let out a sad sigh.
"I gave up a hair for that too..." she pouted.
"Well, it saved us from what would've likely been a much more violent landing." Ted said as he tried to look on the bright side. Although, his body was already starting to feel stiff from all the rough stopping.
"Are you alright!" Trizel shouted.
Yeah! We landed on some stairs. Death called up, We're all good!
"Actually, why did you stick around?" Ted asked. "You could've just popped back when your plan didn't work out."
And leave you to try and land alone? No way bro. I was in it until the end!
Ted smiled and chose not to mention that he probably made their landing more difficult with his added weight. Not to mention that he had been hanging directly onto Ted, so he had gotten to deal with the skeleton's extra weight with each lurching stop.
"Well," Narissa shouted. "Seems like we'll have to go our separate ways for now. It doesn't seem like these stairs meet back up anywhere near you guys."
"We could..." Trizel started to say before he was interrupted.
"It's doubtful," Sentenza said. "Especially since they went off to the side. If they'd gone straight down, maybe we could manage with having them climb up the rope. But who knows how long it'd take us to reach them down there? We'd risk more people and them if we try and chase them down. Our best bet is to reunite on the other side."
"But they do not have any rope?" Trizel grumbled as he kept his voice down.
Bakade looked at the torn fabric in her hand and clenched her fist tighter. "Tttrrruuusssttt tttthhheeemmm. Ttthhheeee cccaaannn ddddoooo iiittt," she said with some added apprehension.
"Fine," Trizel grumbled. He leaned over the side of the pipe and shouted down, "We will meet you on the far side! Screw this left nonsense! Just head towards the far wall from where we entered, and we can get to each other from there!"
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