《The Bartender at the End of the Universe》Ch 50: Death's Artistic Side
Advertisement
Death turned towards the others in the room, and despite his lack of expressions, it was clear how serious his face was. Guys, I think I have a plan. I just need something to draw with.
"Draw?" asked Ted. "What do you want to draw? Especially right now."
I've got... Death slowly lowered his sunglasses as he added, A boner to pick with him.
"What?" asked Ted and Sentenza in unison.
Huh? Don't you guys get it? Death asked.
"Get what?" Ted looked around as Death's intent was completely lost on him. Subconsciously he hoped he would see something else in the room that might enlighten him, but there was nothing that made Death's cryptic words any clearer.
Death pointed to his rib. You know, "I've got a bone to pick with you," but I changed it to boner, because I'm going to draw a penis on his face while he's sleeping!
"How's that going to help anything?" sighed Sentenza.
Duh! He'll either be too embarrassed to fight, or he'll be so impressed by my artistic skill and anatomical accuracy that he has no choice but to surrender. Death explained matter-of-factly.
"I don't really think things will turn out quite as you're planning." coughed Ted. He could only imagine whatever the thing was getting furious at being the victim of such vandalism.
"I'm gonna have to agree with Ted here," added Sentenza. "Seems like a bad idea. Especially since he didn't exactly stay still when we first found him."
Pfft, have a little faith, huh? It is me we're talking about. Like, remember that sweet kickflip Ted?
Ted sighed. "Yeah, I remember." He shook his head as he recalled his promise to Death. "But we don't really have anything you can use."
Huh? What about some permanent markers or something like that?
Ted raised an eyebrow at death. "I'm pretty sure you already know that we don't have anything like that here. With how low we are on regular supplies; you think we'd have something like markers just lying around?"
Before Ted even finished speaking, Pockets reached into her pants pockets and pulled out two fistfuls of markers. "Which color do you want?" she asked as markers stuck out between her fingers, and a few even fell to the ground while she stood there.
Advertisement
Ted sighed but couldn't keep from smiling. "Of course, you'd have some on you. But why wait until now to offer them?"
"I don't know, it just seemed like the funniest time." she shrugged.
Death's mouth opened wide, and he rubbed his bony hands together. All of them! If the option's there, might as well go all in and make it truly a masterpiece, right?
Pockets nodded. "You have a good grasp on what's important." She started to juggle all the markers before tossing them one by one to Death.
For his part, Death did not do so well. He fumbled with the first marker but was able to grab ahold of it. The problem was the other markers came one after the other. By the time he had caught the first one, the next five had hit him and fallen onto the ground. He tried to catch up, but only managed to drop the first marker as all of them landed around his feet.
Pockets shook her head and pulled out a rake from in her shorts and helped Death collect the markers by raking them all into a pile. Then, she tossed down the rake and nodded in approval as Death stood up with a pile of markers collected in his arms. Alright, now on to show this reaper killer a thing or...
WHACK!
The markers along with Death's skull flew up into the air as Death was hit smack in his skull by the rake's handle. He mistakenly stepped onto the teeth of the rake and sent the handle flying up towards his own face.
"I don't know how I didn't see that coming." Ted sighed.
Death's body stumbled back and landed on his tailbone as he fell onto his butt, or at least where one would be if he had one. Dang it. I just picked all of those up.
Again, Pockets helped him by raking up the markers, and when they were finished, Death stepped onto the rake and lost all their progress as it knocked his block off and sent the markers crashing back to the floor. The third time went the same way, except as Death approached the rake he looked down and then stepped to the side of it.
Advertisement
"Pockets!" Ted called out in a harsh voice.
The clown had pulled out an oversized rubber mallet and was creeping up behind death. When Ted called out her name, she deflated and let out a "Harumph. Fine you big old spoil sport." She stuffed the mallet back into her massive shorts, but as her hand was down, she let out a small smirk. She quickly pulled out a knife and lunged for Death.
BANG!
The knife went flying out of her hand as she pouted even more. "No one lets me have any fun!"
"I think you've had plenty," snorted Sentenza, before he winced from pain for just a moment. "But I still say this is a dumb idea. You don't go poking a bear just because you think it's hibernating."
"Well, I say you should..."
WHAM!
Pockets turned towards Death as she started to talk, but she walked right into the rake, and after it hit her face, her eyes started to spin, and she twirled around on her left heel before she landed on the ground with a thud. Her eyes turned to just x's and her arms folded over her chest as a tiny flag sprung up between them.
"Drama queen," mumbled Sentenza.
Death was ignoring them it seems, as he didn't say anything, and just walked outside with his horde of markers while giggling. huhuhu Death crept up towards the hollow king, who was sitting with his back up against The Oasis a few feet to the side of the front door. He really did look like a corpse that was left to rot. Man, my whole body is practically screaming at me to rip your soul out...but...Man, I can't pass up an opportunity like this.
Death barely missed kicking the hollow king's discarded sword with his foot as he approached. He dropped all of the markers to the side of the desiccated man, except for a single black one. With slow, careful strokes, he began to work on his masterpiece.
"Darn fool's going to get himself killed," grumbled Sentenza as Ted finally walked out from behind the bar.
"You didn't seem in that big of a rush to stop him earlier," Ted commented as he knelt by Sentenza. "So, how did you get all beaten up like this? I don't really see any marks on you, or torn clothes this time."
"Some accursed magic." Sentenza spat out. "Just pointed an eye on his hand at me, and my insides felt like they were all lit on fire. Luckily Death distracted him, or I'd be in a lot worse shape. Couldn't even manage to reload while he did it."
"Well, I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to move people when they're hurt, but why don't I carry you up to your room?" Ted suggested.
"Yeah, and what if that guy wakes up and breaks in here?" Sentenza pointed out.
"I think it'd be better if you left that to someone else," Ted said. "Just focus on getting better."
"Why worry about me? Aren't you still furious with me like Trizel is?"
Ted sighed. "I just wish you'd tell me your reasons. But I get not wanting to share everything. I just wouldn't be as aggressive about it myself." Ted offered a smile.
Sentenza smiled and shook his head. "You're a weird kid, you know that? Fine. You're the boss after all. I'll follow orders."
Ted put Sentenza's arm over his shoulder and grunted as he helped him to his feet. He turned towards Pockets who was still on the ground. "Make sure Death gets back in here in one piece, alright?"
Pockets immediately turned towards him and nodded. "Oh sure, no problem!" Right after she finished speaking, she returned to her old position of pretending to be dead.
Advertisement
- In Serial60 Chapters
Tides of Time
One moment Elvie Harper is playing along a beautiful beach in Australia, the next she is lying on a cobblestone street in 1930s London. Except this London is different... it is part of a world with magic. Thrown into a world with different rules, Elvie desperately hopes to learn magic to make her way back to the future. But the road for a magician is never a simple one, and the politics and intrigues of the 1930s have the world on edge. There are things stirring in the darkness, and those who seek power amongst chaos. What hope does one girl have in such a world?
8 209 - In Serial12 Chapters
The Core, The Recordings of Raan - Fantasy LitRPG Story
The blue screens all around blink like crazy with red letters saying how I'm dead. I rage and wave my hands, but punch nothing but air. Then I remember what I was told, breathe in deeply, trying to steady my mind, smooth my anger, letting the blue vertigo take me with it, letting myself go...Hard-time convicts from a space orbital penitentiary are sent to a hostile planet where odds of survival are minimal. To make things even worse, their memories seemed to be wiped clean. But their killers' instincts are not, and they soon kick in.For a space wars old-timer Raan, it's all different. He remembers everything. And that's a problem. As others fight for survival, he remembers how most of them, himself included, should not even deserve to have a second chance.In a strange new world, as he fights his own demons, he is faced with new ones whose names he does not even know. But giving up is not inside his DNA and fight on he must. For to stop is to die, and to die means he failed, failed himself and all those who still desperately need him.***The Author's Note:This is another in the Core series, the first one being The Wardens of Destiny while there is also a side story The Memoires of Eisen that's exclusive on Patreon for those who would like to support me.The Recordings of Raan occurs after the events in The Wardens of Destiny, and it's a separate thread from the main story. Among other things, I separated it into a new book as it has elements of progressive LitRPG and a fantasy-world setting.Since I'll keep on writing The Wardens of Destiny, this will be one of my side-projects. Eventually in the future, I plan to integrate some of the protagonists in this story with the main storyline.
8 81 - In Serial38 Chapters
Testing Fate
International pop sensation, Justin Bieber, left girlfriend and actress, Selena Gomez, pregnant. What will happen when they run into each other 5 years later? Something neither of them ever imagined.
8 157 - In Serial65 Chapters
The Faction Contributor [Sci-Fi LitRPG]
While casually studying for his upcoming university exam, Aven suddenly felt the world around him start warping. It started with flashes of light appearing from nowhere, quickly escalating into his whole world becoming an absolute mess of flickering pixels and chaotic color flows, as if reality had become a malfunctioning glitched screen. What he could recognize as numbers, letters, and strange symbols flew everywhere around him, obviously trying to form a coherent whole to be displayed before his eyes, but such attempts kept failing, again and again. Before he could even start thinking about how both mesmerizing and absurd this spectacle was, however, it all stopped, as suddenly as it had begun. Accompanying the end of this unique show, 2 things happened. First, knowledge had spontaneously appeared in his mind and he could perfectly understand it, as if it had always been there, just inaccessible. Second, a weird simultaneously hot and cold energy had made its apparition inside his body completely unannounced. Aven had just simply and purely awakened his innate ability and the energy potential of his cells, joining the world of the supers, a minority that had always controlled and protected the world since ancient times, by becoming one of them. *** Do you have a sci-fi itch to scratch? Maybe that story can help~ It’s not a comic story that doesn’t take itself seriously. It’s also not a grimdark story, going to the depth of making sure the environment is the worst one ever. It’s just a serious story, a rational one, one you can comfortably dive into, written by a guy who already got some writing experience by having seriously written more than 2 000 pages of another serious story prior to starting this one. Enjoy *** Update: 3 chapters every week (Friday, Saturday, Sunday) Chapters: Around 3 000 words each.
8 313 - In Serial24 Chapters
Jade Green
Mist Ji, originally next in line to be one of the honored Sword Saints. He is betrayed by those closest to him, and becomes a monster. From that point on, everything goes downhill, and he can only turn to the Devil, kneeling before it and gains unrivaled power. Often, we find that demons do not exist in power, but in the hearts of humans. Join Mist Ji as he experiences the initial betrayal, and is later forced to watch as those close him are forced to leave the world of the living, one by one. Witness the darkness of society force him to become a Demon, and read on to find out how a monster slowly revives his dead heart. He gains unrivaled power and destroys enemy after enemy, conquers both gods and demons, but is destined to never be able to hold onto the hands of those that he loves. Or rather, he will hold onto their hands, but that may very well be all that's left of them. When he is able to control the world as he pleases, he finds that she has disappeared from his side. "There are tens of trillions of dimensions that I control. Yet they mean nothing to me, if you do not exist in them." Ten thousand years...I await your graceful return. "I died. I came back a monster. I died again. I came back a husk. You gave me life again. So, what could I do, when you went? I could not do anything. Like a filthy coward, I could only pick up the pieces of your soul and run. All along, I'd thought that there would be someone that was watching us above, and led us together. Turns out, there was. But they didn't care. I promised myself...never again. Never. So I turned my back on the light. And I stepped into the darkness. For you, I stepped into the pits of Hell. For you, I tore out my eyes and offered them to the Demons. For you, I was hunted for a hundred years but the Conquerors. For you, I groveled before the Devil's Statue for a thousand years. For you, I burned myself alive to appease the Devil's wishes. For you, I cut out my soul and offered it to the Devil-King below. Only...if I could see your jade-green eyes sparkle as they had before. When...will I see your jade-green eyes again?"
8 82 - In Serial3 Chapters
It's not all "Roses"
If I try to write a desc I'm gonna end up writing the whole story sooo all I can say is: Sad bakugou 😌!ART NOT MINE!
8 183

