《The Bartender at the End of the Universe》Ch 50: Death's Artistic Side
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Death turned towards the others in the room, and despite his lack of expressions, it was clear how serious his face was. Guys, I think I have a plan. I just need something to draw with.
"Draw?" asked Ted. "What do you want to draw? Especially right now."
I've got... Death slowly lowered his sunglasses as he added, A boner to pick with him.
"What?" asked Ted and Sentenza in unison.
Huh? Don't you guys get it? Death asked.
"Get what?" Ted looked around as Death's intent was completely lost on him. Subconsciously he hoped he would see something else in the room that might enlighten him, but there was nothing that made Death's cryptic words any clearer.
Death pointed to his rib. You know, "I've got a bone to pick with you," but I changed it to boner, because I'm going to draw a penis on his face while he's sleeping!
"How's that going to help anything?" sighed Sentenza.
Duh! He'll either be too embarrassed to fight, or he'll be so impressed by my artistic skill and anatomical accuracy that he has no choice but to surrender. Death explained matter-of-factly.
"I don't really think things will turn out quite as you're planning." coughed Ted. He could only imagine whatever the thing was getting furious at being the victim of such vandalism.
"I'm gonna have to agree with Ted here," added Sentenza. "Seems like a bad idea. Especially since he didn't exactly stay still when we first found him."
Pfft, have a little faith, huh? It is me we're talking about. Like, remember that sweet kickflip Ted?
Ted sighed. "Yeah, I remember." He shook his head as he recalled his promise to Death. "But we don't really have anything you can use."
Huh? What about some permanent markers or something like that?
Ted raised an eyebrow at death. "I'm pretty sure you already know that we don't have anything like that here. With how low we are on regular supplies; you think we'd have something like markers just lying around?"
Before Ted even finished speaking, Pockets reached into her pants pockets and pulled out two fistfuls of markers. "Which color do you want?" she asked as markers stuck out between her fingers, and a few even fell to the ground while she stood there.
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Ted sighed but couldn't keep from smiling. "Of course, you'd have some on you. But why wait until now to offer them?"
"I don't know, it just seemed like the funniest time." she shrugged.
Death's mouth opened wide, and he rubbed his bony hands together. All of them! If the option's there, might as well go all in and make it truly a masterpiece, right?
Pockets nodded. "You have a good grasp on what's important." She started to juggle all the markers before tossing them one by one to Death.
For his part, Death did not do so well. He fumbled with the first marker but was able to grab ahold of it. The problem was the other markers came one after the other. By the time he had caught the first one, the next five had hit him and fallen onto the ground. He tried to catch up, but only managed to drop the first marker as all of them landed around his feet.
Pockets shook her head and pulled out a rake from in her shorts and helped Death collect the markers by raking them all into a pile. Then, she tossed down the rake and nodded in approval as Death stood up with a pile of markers collected in his arms. Alright, now on to show this reaper killer a thing or...
WHACK!
The markers along with Death's skull flew up into the air as Death was hit smack in his skull by the rake's handle. He mistakenly stepped onto the teeth of the rake and sent the handle flying up towards his own face.
"I don't know how I didn't see that coming." Ted sighed.
Death's body stumbled back and landed on his tailbone as he fell onto his butt, or at least where one would be if he had one. Dang it. I just picked all of those up.
Again, Pockets helped him by raking up the markers, and when they were finished, Death stepped onto the rake and lost all their progress as it knocked his block off and sent the markers crashing back to the floor. The third time went the same way, except as Death approached the rake he looked down and then stepped to the side of it.
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"Pockets!" Ted called out in a harsh voice.
The clown had pulled out an oversized rubber mallet and was creeping up behind death. When Ted called out her name, she deflated and let out a "Harumph. Fine you big old spoil sport." She stuffed the mallet back into her massive shorts, but as her hand was down, she let out a small smirk. She quickly pulled out a knife and lunged for Death.
BANG!
The knife went flying out of her hand as she pouted even more. "No one lets me have any fun!"
"I think you've had plenty," snorted Sentenza, before he winced from pain for just a moment. "But I still say this is a dumb idea. You don't go poking a bear just because you think it's hibernating."
"Well, I say you should..."
WHAM!
Pockets turned towards Death as she started to talk, but she walked right into the rake, and after it hit her face, her eyes started to spin, and she twirled around on her left heel before she landed on the ground with a thud. Her eyes turned to just x's and her arms folded over her chest as a tiny flag sprung up between them.
"Drama queen," mumbled Sentenza.
Death was ignoring them it seems, as he didn't say anything, and just walked outside with his horde of markers while giggling. huhuhu Death crept up towards the hollow king, who was sitting with his back up against The Oasis a few feet to the side of the front door. He really did look like a corpse that was left to rot. Man, my whole body is practically screaming at me to rip your soul out...but...Man, I can't pass up an opportunity like this.
Death barely missed kicking the hollow king's discarded sword with his foot as he approached. He dropped all of the markers to the side of the desiccated man, except for a single black one. With slow, careful strokes, he began to work on his masterpiece.
"Darn fool's going to get himself killed," grumbled Sentenza as Ted finally walked out from behind the bar.
"You didn't seem in that big of a rush to stop him earlier," Ted commented as he knelt by Sentenza. "So, how did you get all beaten up like this? I don't really see any marks on you, or torn clothes this time."
"Some accursed magic." Sentenza spat out. "Just pointed an eye on his hand at me, and my insides felt like they were all lit on fire. Luckily Death distracted him, or I'd be in a lot worse shape. Couldn't even manage to reload while he did it."
"Well, I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to move people when they're hurt, but why don't I carry you up to your room?" Ted suggested.
"Yeah, and what if that guy wakes up and breaks in here?" Sentenza pointed out.
"I think it'd be better if you left that to someone else," Ted said. "Just focus on getting better."
"Why worry about me? Aren't you still furious with me like Trizel is?"
Ted sighed. "I just wish you'd tell me your reasons. But I get not wanting to share everything. I just wouldn't be as aggressive about it myself." Ted offered a smile.
Sentenza smiled and shook his head. "You're a weird kid, you know that? Fine. You're the boss after all. I'll follow orders."
Ted put Sentenza's arm over his shoulder and grunted as he helped him to his feet. He turned towards Pockets who was still on the ground. "Make sure Death gets back in here in one piece, alright?"
Pockets immediately turned towards him and nodded. "Oh sure, no problem!" Right after she finished speaking, she returned to her old position of pretending to be dead.
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