《The Bartender at the End of the Universe》Ch 30: Tears and Laughter

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"Seems he was all bluster," chuckled Trizel as he poured himself another drink.

Og'drimun had fallen asleep right on the table. Although, his stomach didn't look any different despite having three pints. He had been too much of an irritant, and Nugget had left to her room after he started his second drink.

"Is he going to be okay? That was a lot of alcohol." mentioned Ted as he sipped his drink.

"He did seem to overestimate his abilities quite a bit," agreed Sid.

Trizel waved a dismissive hand. "Pssht, a normal human drinking that much, I would be worried. But a demon? No. Their bodies defy our expectations."

"Maybe we should try and get him to throw up, just in case?" Ted suggested.

"I believe that is the preferable action to him succumbing to alcohol poisoning," agreed Sid.

"No need to worry about him. He's survived far worse than this."

Narissa descended from the stairs looking almost completely refreshed. She had a new outfit on, and you could barely tell she had red peck and scratch marks all over. She strolled through gracefully, and then plopped down into a seat at the table, where she grabbed the mug Og'drimun had let roll onto its side again.

"What are you all having tonight?" she asked.

Og'drimun groaned slightly, and she grabbed his long ears, and draped them over the top of his face and body like a blanket. She shook her head and turned back to the others with an expectant look.

"Rum, the hard stuff," nodded Trizel.

"Hmm, seems a bit much to just be drinking," she mused as she looked down into the mug.

Ted nudged over a long spoon, and a bottle filled with a light green liquid. "Try it with some of this. About equal parts is a simplified daiquiri. The lime and sugar really helps to cut the harshness of the rum."

She nodded at Ted. "Thank you."

As she started to pour her own drink, Sid commented, "I see you have expanded your selection of drinks."

"Well, you reach a point where you realize that sometimes you just need some alcohol. Flavor becomes less important."

"You are also mixing it yourself instead of requesting it be done for you. A curious change in your normal." Sid continued.

Narissa smiled at him mockingly. "Look, it's been a rough day. I'm not really in the mood to wait around for other people to hopefully get things right."

Sid seemed satisfied with his questions as he returned to slowly drinking as she joined in by downing half of her mug. She shuddered, and let out a "whoo," as the rum hit her.

Trizel's gaze was distant as he traced his finger along the top of his mug. Ted turned to him and asked, "Still worried about what's going on out there?"

Trizel nodded. "Death still has not returned. Og'drimun's boasting was a convenient distraction, but now it seems my mind is drifting back to them."

"Huh? What's going on exactly?" Narissa asked.

"Bakade went out after Sentenza," Ted explained.

Narissa's eyebrows raised. "Really? Huh." She took another sip before she added. "Though I can't say I'm surprised. She seemed absolutely furious at him the last time I saw them together."

"It's strange, after our first encounter, she has been pretty calm. Definitely not violent." Ted said as he rubbed his chin. "Do you think..."

SLAM!

They all turned towards the door as it was slammed open. Looming in the doorway was that same familiar smile wrapped in darkness.

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"I have fantastic news! I've solved the water issue and brought another gift I'm sure you'll love!"

From out behind him, an eerie laughter was echoing in the distance. "Ha...ha...ha...ha." it was unsettling how slow it was, like it was just an unnatural imitation of someone laughing from nervousness.

BANG!

Sentenza's bullet barely missed Bakade's arm as it embedded into a tree.

"Stop chasing me already," grumbled the grizzled man as he expertly reloaded his pistol in moments.

Bakade flowed through the trees like the wind. This was her playing field.

Wai...and they're already gone. Death sighed as he tried to catch them again, but they kept moving so quickly they were already moving out of his reach by the time he appeared behind them.

Ahead of Sentenza was a deep fog, and he ran straight into it. The fog was so thick, Sentenza had trouble even seeing the pistol in his hand. As he kept running full speed, he found himself heading over the edge. He dropped down and grabbed desperately at the ground, but his momentum was too great. The constant waterfalls had disappeared, but the ground was still too muddy to help him.

Then, a hand grabbed ahold of his arm. He looked up in surprise to see Bakade's outline keeping him from going over the edge.

Sentenza smacked his lips and finally said, "Well. This is awkward."

"Bbbbeeee hhhoooonnnnneeessstttt wwwiiiittttthhh mmmeeeee." Bakade said.

"I don't like where this is going." Sentenza lifted his gun towards her.

BANG!

Bakade was quick, but he was quicker. She reached down with her other hand and grabbed his gun, but not before he got off a clean shot right through the middle of her forearm that was holding him. She let out a howl of pain, but managed to keep her hold on him as she ripped his gun from out of his other hand.

"Dang it," grumbled Sentenza. "Why is everyone here so gosh darn tough!"

Bakade looked down at her bleeding arm and then turned to him. "Dddiiiidddd yyyoooouuu..."

Sentenza quickly reached down to grab his other gun, but Bakade was quicker this time. She reached down and grabbed his free arm with hers, and then lifted him up into the air by both of his arms.

"Wwwhhhaaatt? Yyyooouuu'ddd rrraaatttthhheeerrr dddiieee ttthhaaannn tttaaalllkkk tttoooo mmmeeee?" she said accusingly.

Sentenza struggled a bit before he finally sighed as he relaxed his body. "No. It's. Dang it, it's complicated, and I hate that. Killing is simple. All action."

"Wwwhhhyyy ccaaann'tt yyoouu kkkiilll mmeeee ttthhheeeennn?" Bakade pressed.

Sentenza turned his face away as he mashed his teeth together in frustration.

Bakade shook him back and forth as she commanded, "Ttteeelllll mmmeeee!"

Sentenza groaned. "Come on, can't you just drop me over the edge?"

Bakade leered at him with her fiery eyes.

"Dang it," Sentenza murmured. "It's...you're...I can't..."

He grunted in frustration, but Bakade just patiently held him in place. She didn't say a word, and just waited as Sentenza dangled by his arms.

"I...come on. Let's go practice shooting." Sentenza conceded.

"Jjjuuusssttt uuussseee yyyoouuurrr wwooorrrddsss." she stated firmly.

Sentenza's face kept scrunching up as he mashed his teeth together as hard as his jaws would let him. "I..." he let out another grunt of frustration. "Take it."

"Tttaakkkee wwhhhaaattt?" she asked.

"These pistols I have. They aren't just any run of the mill mass produced trash. They are custom. Modified by the best gunsmith in Santa Fe. Each part was made in a pair. Like two sides of a coin. Twin guns, born together. They're worth more than any one job I've ever done, and probably more than my life. I'd rather die than lose these things." he explained.

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"IIIII kkknnnooowww," Bakade sighed. "Tttthhaaatttt'ssss wwwhhhyy IIIII ppprraaacccttiiccceeedd wwwiiitttthhh ttthhheee rrriiifffllleee."

"Well, that, and your fingers are so long, actually using a pistol would be real difficult for you." he smirked.

"Hhheeeyyy! IIII'mmm tttrrryyyiiinnggg." she complained.

Sentenza chuckled as he looked at her with the same eyes a grandfather would look at his newborn granddaughter. With a small smile and in a gentle voice he said, "I know."

He sighed and shook his head as his voice returned to its normal gruffness. "I've been thinking about this a while. But I'm not great with words, so I'll just say it. The pistol at my waist, it's yours. I want you to have it, I mean."

Bakade was so surprised she let go of him. Sentenzalet out a small yelp as he landed in the mud. He was ready to catch himself, but the fall had his feet sticking into the soft earth up to his ankles. He looked down and sighed as he scratched his neck. He quickly drew his pistol, and then flipped it around so he was holding the barrel. He held the gun out towards Bakade, or at least the vague shape of her he could make out in the fog.

Slowly, Bakade reached down and grabbed the gun. It was quite small in her hand but was in near perfect condition.

The two of them stood in silence for a bit before Sentenza scratched his neck as he grumbled under his breath. "Why don't we go practice shooting together now. Seems like as good a time as any. Besides, you need to work on using a smaller gun like that."

Bakade wrapped her arms around him and lifted him up in a hug. Sentenza's face turned pink as he kept his arms wide. "Hey now! Isn't this a bit much?"

"III tthhiinnkkk III uuunnnddeerrrsssttaannndd," Bakade said softly before she set him back down.

Sentenza coughed awkwardly as he grumbled under his breath. He walked past her towards the pistol she had tossed back as he added, "Good, good. Now you really should get some practice in. We'll just need to set up the squirrels a little differently."

The two of them made their way back into the forest, but the thick fog seemed to have seeped its way further into the woods. Making it much more difficult for Sentenza to move quickly with massive trees suddenly appearing from the fog a few inches from his face.

Help me! Please! Death called out to them as they made their way back through the trees.

"Huh? Death? Where are you? Your voice is coming from inside our heads, so we can't really follow that." Sentenza called out.

I don't know where I am! It's all foggy.

"Fffoollloooww mmeee." whispered Bakade as she grabbed ahold of Sentenza's arm.

Within no time they came upon Death's skeletal body lying face down on the ground.

Oh, it's horrible, absolutely horrible! Death bemoaned.

Sentenza closed his eyes as he tried to focus on his hearing. He held his pistol out and slowly turned around in a circle. "What happened?"

I was out here trying to check on you guys, right? Well you both kept running away whenever I tried to appear behind you. Then this fog rolled in, and when I tried to keep following you, it didn't work! I couldn't appear anywhere, and then...and then... Death almost sounded like he was about to cry.

"Ttthhheeeennnn wwwhhaattt?" Bakade asked as she knelt in front of the skeleton.

I had to actually walk! I tried. I did. I tried to run after you guys, but my bones just kept clacking together and I felt self-conscious, so when I fell, I never ended up getting back up. I've been calling out for help since then, but you're the first to show up.

Sentenza lowered his gun as he opened his eyes. "So nothing happened? No one knocked you down or anything?"

No, but I'll never make it back like this. I'm afraid... He looked past Bakade and right at Sentenza. I'm afraid you're going to have to carry me bro.

Sentenza tapped his gun's barrel against his chin. "Hmm. I wonder if anyone would even notice if we left you here."

Harsh bro. I just need a quick lift. I'll get you back next time, I swear!

"What? You'll carry me?" Sentenza scoffed. "Not only can I not see you actually doing it willingly, I doubt your body is capable of it."

Bro.

"IIIII wwwiiillll cccaaarrryyy yyyoouuu," nodded Bakade as she easily grabbed the skeleton in one hand and draped him over her shoulder.

Ah, thanks fellow bonehead! I knew I could count on you. Death said as he gave her a thumbs up.

"I guess we should get him back before we practice," grumbled Sentenza. "Alright then. If you want to go quicker, you should probably lead the way Bakade."

Bakade nodded and took point as she jogged around the trees. Sentenza couldn't see what was coming but followed closely behind Bakade so he could just keep in line with her shape in the fog and avoid the trees the same way she was.

Things went well, but as they made it out of the Forest, Bakade slowed down. "Ssssooommmeettthhiinnngg iiisss ooofffff," she whispered.

Sentenza turned his head this way and that as he said, "Huh, I don't..."

Then they heard it. A pipe organ playing an eerily discordant melody. Each note felt like it had to be forced out from a long series of pipes, until it was rough and jumbled when it finally escaped. The song was strange, almost like it was an old man who had been fun and outgoing in his youth, but now was just a pale reflection of that filled with bitterness, regret, and envy. The hints of something that had been fun was there, but it felt so far removed from the actual sounds.

Then there was this laugh. "Ha...ha...ha...ha."

It was unsettlingly slow, and somehow clashed with the slow music. The laugh sounded like an alien's imitation of what it thought written laughter should sound like. All it did was send shivers down all of their spines.

"Let me guess, you still can't appear behind people?"

Hhhrrrnnnnggghhhh...nope

"Well, that's inconve...what in Sam Hill is that?" Sentenza put a hand out to stop Bakade as he looked up at a strange metal tower barely visible in the fog. But even with the clouded vision, it was clear the once vibrant paint covering it was now faded and chipping away.

"Ha...ha...ha...ha." the exact same laugh rang out as if it was coming from a recording. Except, it was clear that whoever or whatever was making the noise was much closer than they had been before.

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