“Why can’t you do anything right?”

Large dark figures hovered above me, blocking out any light.

“I can’t believe you’re my daughter. You obviously don’t take after me, or you wouldn’t be this worthless.”

There were so many of them, leering down at me. I didn’t look at their faces, I was too scared. Even if I did, I knew I wouldn’t see anything.

“You’re such a loser, you know?”

I tried to open my mouth, to get up, but I had no voice. I was tied down firmly by something I knew not what, and I couldn’t move, couldn’t scream.

“What a disappointment. In the end, you’ve brought us nothing but shame.”

Someone began to shriek. Suddenly, the figures moved aside, revealing a blinding tunnel of light, and two people standing in front of it, casting long shadows.

Mom and Dad. I couldn’t see their expressions clearly, but it was clear enough. They wore the same dissatisfaction they’d always shown me.

‘No, I’m sorry! It isn’t fair! Please, I’ll be good, give me another chance!’

Behind them, a monster creeped out. Horror gripped me and I tried to move, to run, but no matter how hard I struggled, I couldn’t. It came towards me until it was right before me and it opened its mouth wide, to swallow me whole. I could only lay there, terrified.

So completely weak and powerless.

“My lady, are you all right?”

I sat up straight, breathing hard. I could move again, and I could see. It was just a dream, that was all. Nothing more, nothing less. These days, the memories of my past life were beginning to mix in my head, and my nightmares were almost never pure recollections anymore, but normal dreams formed of my thoughts and imagination.

The trauma they didn’t tell you about reincarnation. I sighed.

“Get me a glass of water. And open the windows.”

Tia stood by my bedside, eyes wide with concern, and scuttered off to carry out my orders immediately. Giving out commands made me feel better, reminded me that I was powerful. Power brought security, so I was safe.

I drank the water Tia brought me and glanced outside the windows. A blanket of snow had fallen, the first of the season, and the excitement of my original nine-year-old self took over.

“Tia, get me a coat!”

I rushed to the window as Tia went rummaging in my closet, breathing in the cold winter air. It did wonders to calm me, and before I knew it I could barely recall my dream.

The glass pane fogged with my breath, so I left. I quickly ate breakfast and had Tia dress me in my favorite coat, dark red with black fur. I hurried through the halls of the castle as fast as I could while maintaining grace.

I met Delilah and Annalise with our clique halfway to the drawing room we normally occupied. They had been coming to meet me, because we all knew we wouldn’t be doing any lessons or spending this fine day inside.

“It snowed last night, Lady Valentina, half a foot deep!”

Even Delilah’s usually elegant demeanor was brightened, because on the inside, we were really only children. Her eyes twinkled, and everyone was already dressed in coats and gloves.

“Then let us go, shall we?”

I was proud to remember the names of some of the girls in my clique, and we made our way through the castle eagerly in joyful conversations.

At the first breath of crisp cold air, the moment our boots hit the snow, we left our etiquette behind, though we still had our natural poise. We laughed and ran, throwing snowballs. It took a while to get to our actual destination, but the journey was fun.

The field we went to was part of the royal castle and behind the main royal garden, stretching as far as the eye could see, all covered in white. It was a popular spot, and many noble children were already there, but the place was large enough that we could all play without interfering.

“Annalise, watch out!”

My warning resulted in her turning just in time to get hit in the face by a snowball from Delilah. Delilah bent over laughing, only to get hit in the back by another girl. I narrowly avoided one myself.

“You’re gonna pay for that!”

I grabbed a fistful of snow and threw it right back where the one that had almost hit me came from. It found its target easily, and a battle was on. Surprisingly, I found that I was better than previous years, perhaps because of my shooting training.

“To your right!”

“Ahhhhh!”

“Hey, where’d that come from?!”

“I’m going to get you!”

“Don’t you run!”

Teams soon formed, the closer friend groups that existed within my clique. Annalise, Delilah, and I built a small wall to hide behind as we assaulted the other makeshift forts that were quickly forming. Snow was flying everywhere, and it was war.

Delilah aimed with the precision of a hunter, so I must’ve been right about her liking the sport. Annalise wasn’t as accurate, but she could throw hard and far. Though there was no way to measure, we were definitely winning.

“Ah… I’m exhausted.”

Snowball fights were serious physical work, and most of us aristocratic girls that rarely exercised quickly grew tired. Despite the shooting lessons and the self-defense I had recently started again, I was worn out too.

We laid in the soft snow, in the tranquil peace that came after intense combat. I waved my arms and legs around, and I wasn’t the only one who had the idea. Shortly, snow angels were forming all over the field. Though the snow was no longer fresh after our fight, they still looked cute.

“Look!”

One of my friends pointed to a massive snowman that some other noble children had made. We gazed in awe for a moment, and immediately began to construct our own.

Pushing a snowball, when one was as tall as you, was tough work. We knew that from years of experience, so we settled for making one as a group. It wasn’t bad at first and a few of us hung around with nothing to do, but before long everyone was at one of the three giant snowballs.

“One, two, three, push!”

We shoved with all our might, rolling the snowball until it got bigger and bigger and finally it wouldn’t budge an inch. The one we were making was the base, so thankfully we didn’t have to move it any further. The others brought over the body and the head.

The ones that had worked on the body tried to lift it on their own, but as expected, it didn’t rise at all. This was going to be the hard part. All of us gathered around and gripped the ball as steadily as one could with snow.

“On three. One, two three!”

It was like trying to pick up an elephant, but it worked, barely. We gradually raised the snowball and carefully placed it on top of the base. When we let go at last, my arms felt like they were going to fall off.

We did the same for the head, and though I really couldn’t control my limbs anymore, I was incredibly proud. We found some sticks nearby and added the finishing touches. Our snowman stood tall, smiling down at us.

“Wow!”

We admired our handiwork for a long while.

Yet as it did with children, we were now in need of something else to entertain us. We had just created, so the urge to destroy was rising, but we weren’t in the mood to fight among ourselves, given that we were so recently comrades in creating this magnificent man.

I’d always had an eye for spotting targets. My gaze wandered until I locked onto a lone girl not from my clique, taking a walk a short distance away. I nudged Delilah, who was right beside me.

“Isn’t that one of the princess’s friends?”

“Sure is. You want to?”

Delilah and I exchanged a knowing glance and smirk.

“Come on, let’s go have some fun!”

The rest of my friends caught on fast, and we all prepared a few excellent snowballs. The girl didn’t have a single hint of what was about to happen as we creeped up as quietly as we could.

When we were in the ideal throwing distance, I signalled for us to stop. I grinned.

“Hey, shorty! What are you doing here, without your princess? Don’t dare to mess with us without her, eh?”

She wasn’t even that short, but she did turn around, her face red with rage, but not for long.

The first snowball from Annalise hit her square in the face and she stumbled backwards. The rest of us followed suit, pelting her with snowballs. She took a few steps back and fell onto the ground. We ran out of the snowballs we had prepared, so our attacks slowed as we tried to make more.

“You- you-”

She couldn’t complete a sentence, stuttering with all the snow that must’ve gotten into her clothes and boots. While we were still restocking, she got up and ran.

Laughing, we gave chase, with cries of victory as we bombarded her with snowballs. We ran all the way back to the royal garden, until she dashed inside the castle. We fell back, panting and giggling.

“That was so fun!”

“Hahahaha, she looked like a wet cat!”

“We have to do that again!”

“Serves them right, sucking up to the princess!”

It made me feel powerful, knowing that no one could punish me for attacking that girl, and that all these people followed me willingly. I was no longer a helpless weakling at the bottom of the social hierarchy, but part of the most important family in our kingdom, only below the royal family. And one day, I would be at the very top.

Annalise held onto my arm to keep herself steady, still gasping for air and shaking with glee. On my other side, Delilah laughed her heart out. In a normal situation, she must’ve been under even more stress than I was, but in that moment, she was only a carefree child.

The best fun was always had with friends, and I loved mine. Treasured them, treasured every delightful moment we spent together. But of course, the same irritably persistent thought came back, whenever I was enjoying myself.

My dearest friend, why would you betray me?