“Nope. No. Never. No boons. No pacts. Nothing.”

The disappointment never reached Glom’s face as I rebuked another attempt on my soul. Just because the Wolf dropped two eye-openers like that didn’t mean I was magically ready to see things his way. Though it did get me to start doubting again. Doubting I was in hell. Doubting I was a demon, that Glom was a demon, that everyone was a sinner, and this was our punishment.

It’s probably still some sick punishment, living in this dark place like bugs under a rock. It doesn’t have to be hell for that.

After delivering the tree-croc to the temple, the Wolf immediately set out, leaving me without an explanation for all my many questions. Again. Which was kind of rude, as I was being very clear and insistent that I wanted to know more about, well, everything. I pestered him all the way until we were a bit past the bridge again.

“We start training in the morrow.” Was all he said as he disappeared into the dark. There was no chance of following him. The moment he stepped out of my bright light he was swallowed by the void.

I walked back, disappointed, but also somewhat relieved. I wasn’t going to have my entire worldview turned sideways today but I had enough doubts to reasonably assume that maybe things weren’t as bad as I had made them out to be. Like that, an invisible weight sloughed off me and I felt nearly reborn again.

Rye the second! Actually, it should be Rye the third. Not exactly a knight, not exactly a demon. Just Rye. The new me.

On a different note, I have to come to terms with the fact that, well, I was the one being a bit rude to the big frog in the bowl, and a bit unfair as well.

I called her ass fat and slimy.

My dislike came only in part because he – she – was a toad. If she really was a god-like-ish being and not a demon, then what did that imply about her boons? Why did she want my soul when the gods were supposed to guide and protect them, not eat them like a snack? Did she need them for something?

I… didn’t ask her. I was content to wait it out and hope that the whole pact-boon thing was one of those issues that could just be ignored.

Thus, there was little I could do but wait for the next day to roll on by. Which, due to the ever-present darkness, could be anywhere between ‘soon’ and ‘later’.

I tried to busy myself in the meantime. I talked to Avice about my training. She didn’t seem inclined to move out of her pile of furs yet. She was less withdrawn than a week ago, though without anyone to buy her wares I got the impression that she wasn’t all that happy either. I’d have to cheer her up somehow.

She was my first female friend in this dump after all. Nothing against Pim, or George, or the Wolf, but some things I just didn’t feel comfortable sharing with them. She’s also a human. Or, well, a human with a surprise extra arm. Still, she was a person like me and that made it easy to understand what she was going through. She felt lost, like me. Scared. Uncertain about the future. Powerless. I’d have to find something to trade for her furs. They looked comfy and if I at all could make her day better, I would.

I went over to Harris and convinced him through incessant pestering and a little bit of guilt tripping to lend me his knife. Which was actually my knife, the one I had gotten from the old lady’s shack. The Wolf paid for my medicine with it. It evidently wasn’t enough, so he also paid with… his soul.

Wow, ok, I feel even worse about how I've been treating him now. He did all that, sacrificed a part of his own soul, his own being, all just because he is sworn to serve me. Can I just release him from bondage tomorrow?

Wait, would he still train me after that?

Ugh. Maybe. Possibly. I don’t think so.

In the end, I concluded that I still needed the guarantee of the Wolf’s training. I took the knife and went down to the spring. There, I sat down in front of a bowl and started cutting my hair. The knife was very much not a razor and after I was done with most of it, my scalp hurt, itched and ached all over.

I didn’t cut myself. Of course not. Me? I would never.

Setting the bodily pain aside, there was still a pang of sadness as I looked at the pile of ratty hair in my hands or touched my unevenly stubbly head. When I came back up, Harris recognized the downtrodden look on my face instantaneously.

“New look?” he asked. I swear he was being facetious. Woah, what a word. Fa-ce-tious. It fit his smug grin and I grumbled something in his general direction.

“Wellll…” he said, starting with a voice like a sales pitch. “if ya’ don’t like what’s on your head, how about a dramatic remedy instead?”

The rhyme caught me off-guard and I nearly stuttered. “What’s a dramatic remedy?”

“Well, it’s a remedy. From Drama. The city, not the play.” He presented me with a small soapy stone.

Uh-huh. That didn’t tell me much.

“And this does…?

“It’ll regrow ya’ hair, an inch a day. Simply dissolve it in water, an ounce a cup, apply it generously for the greatest effect.”

I think the desire in my eyes came across as a bit too much, as he immediately pulled it back away again before I could touch it. I wasn’t going to steal it, but he didn’t know that. He just saw the greed.

“H-how much?” I asked, hoping against reason that he might accept something else. I really wanted it, but I didn’t have any trinkets and baubles I’d be ready to trade with.

“One dim, for ya’.” He gave me a smirk and a twinkling smile.

Dammit.

“I… I’m sorry. Still can’t.”

“Oh well.” Said Harris “It’ll still be here if ya’ change your mind. Hair grows awfully slow in the dark. It’s like grass.”

Wait, it it does? Is that a thing? If it is, then it sucks.

With that deal busted, I went on back and spent my time doing nothing much until the next day arrived. The quiet, clanking footsteps of the Wolf preceded his entry, another critter’s corpse slung across his shoulder. With a mighty wet smack, he threw it on the floor. He didn’t give me any indication we were starting training, but I followed him nonetheless

We entered the back-graveyard and as he searched for an open area free of most gravestones and clutter, I couldn’t hold my flood of questions back any longer.

“Why is Glom closer to a god than a demon? What’s up with boons? Why haven’t you told me your name, do you know why it’s so dark, is it true that I’m not in hell, not a demon, where-“

The Wolf suddenly kicked one of the bigger stone tombstones. It exploded.

I jumped a bit and covered my face as gravel plinked off my armor.

Holy…

The Wolf stood like a menacing statue, breath heavy and deep. I was left shocked as well and scared almost right out of my boots. Almost.

“A-are you ok?” I asked.

The Wolf never seemed like an unhinged man to me. Cold yes, maybe even cruel. But there was always a sense of reason and thought behind that metal visor of his.

He paused for a moment. The tinny sound of a long breath being drawn in through his visor filled the otherwise tense silence.

“It is… not your concern. Nor your fault. Apologies. For the outburst.”

I wasn’t going to force the matter. Not with him. I had to admit, he was scary in that moment. And just because I’d faced worse didn’t mean I wasn’t allowed to admit as much. Something bad probably happened out there. Very bad. Though, what exactly could rattle the Wolf I didn’t want to know.

“Alright.” He said with a voice that implied we were finally starting in all seriousness. “First off, let me tell you something you cannot deny. You, savior, are weak.”

I was not going to dispute it. It was true.

“I know.” I said. “But I did alright for being me, right?”

Ok, maybe I was going to dispute it a little bit.

“No.” said the Wolf, flat and blunt. “You did not do alright. Look at your hand.”

I held up my arm. It hurt less than before. The injury was two weeks old and while not healed, the swelling had gone back a few days ago.

“Does that look ‘alright’ to you?” he asked.

“I…”

“It is not ‘alright’. A wound like that means months of recovery, if you even survive that long.”

“…but it was worth it.” I said quietly.

The Wolf eyed me through his helmet, a searching gaze.

“Worth it for what?”

“I-it’s the price I paid. For saving you, Pim and all the others. For letting the old warden die, for killing the bekki woman and everyone else.”

He remained silent for a while.

“The old principle of sacrifice.” He finally said. “Nothing comes without a price. The last universal law.”

He nodded and sat down, motioning for me to do the same.

“You’re from the Empire then?” asked the Wolf.

That sounded vaguely familiar. Enough for me to give a careful nod.

“If I may ask, when did you die?”

I closed my eyes and thought back to my sarcophagus, the stone bed I had woken up in.

“Second harveis moon. Harvest moon? Definitely seventh century. I remember that. And age of wan.”

The memories seemed muddied, unclear as if looked at under water.

“The new Empire then.” He concluded. “Alright. So, you possess partial knowledge from two-thousand years ago.”

“Two thousand years!?”

“Yes. Two thousand. That time has taken a toll on body and mind no doubt. Still, you navigated Regent’s Rest successfully. And you had no guide either. Gods, how you survived is beyond me.”

Once again, silence reigned.

“Well…” I started, before being cut off by the Wolf.

“Yes, yes, you may have done alright, given everything stacked against you.”

I was starting to realize that getting compliments or even any sense of validation from the Wolf was like trying to swim through butter. Not that I ever did that. Or did I? Let’s hope not.

“Now.” The Wolf said. “Back to the first point. You are weak. Are you absolutely sure you want to be a knight? Or fulfill the role of one, at least?”

I nodded. I’d settle for learning how not to die, but if there was any set of abilities, I wanted to learn from him, it was still how to be an upstanding and noble knight. Even if all I remembered about them was from stories, hearsay and my own imagination.

“A poor choice of occupation. I will tell you now in detail why I think this is the case for you. Do not take offense with what I am about to say. My words hold no intent of malice. But I feel it fair to tell you exactly how you are uniquely unsuited for this path.”

At the lack of any protest on my end, he continued.

“Firstly, you are weak because you are short. It is your biggest disadvantage. Your arms are short, your legs are short, and you weigh as much as a feather. If you were a knight, you would find yourself disadvantaged by your lack of leverage, weak strikes and lesser range against most foes out there. You would be thrown about like a boat in a storm and all because your build is not suited for throwing yourself head first into conflict.”

He paused, giving me time to digest. It was true, my size was one of my greatest weaknesses. I noticed that in the fight against the bekki woman and against the one-armed giant. I couldn’t even approach either from the front. And the other people I fought at the bridge? Well, I only got through them because of luck, because they came at me basically one at a time and because their attacks didn’t find their way around my armor.

Bless armor, by the way.

“Secondly, you are weak because you are young. You have just come back from the grave not a month ago and you looked to have been not older than sixteen before you died. Your body is in horrid shape. Bone brittle, muscles slow and soft and beyond that, you have no boons and a below average amount of soul to strengthen your body with.”

Hey, I’m at least eighteen. I even had a dream about it. I know when I died, I don’t know when I was born but I’m sure that I was even older than eighteen when I died. I’m just short.

Also, I have plenty of soul. I have seventeen feet dim light, five of which are bright. I feel better than before and since the first day, through hurdles and tribulations, my body at least was feeling better and better. And the no boons part, well…

“Thirdly, and this I am the most unsure about, you are weak because you lack experience. It will come with time, and I will teach you how to take advantage of your left-handedness as well. Many will not expect it and won’t know how to fight you with techniques learned against only right-handed combatants. But that will come later because for now, I have only seen you flail around like a fish in the mud. And your right requires extended rest before I teach you about the shield.”

Ok, well… half a point for me, I guess?

“The last weakness may seem an oddity to you, having perished before the confluence of races. You are weak because your descent is unremarkable. You are not descended of giants, you have no three hands or belch acidic fluids, you have no claws, no unusual flexibility, no scales, no sharp eyes or hearing, nothing. Under those aspects, you are as average as humans come and your only benefit is that you can sweat. Almost everyone can sweat. No matter how much you train, the ceiling to your abilities lies well beneath those of many. Some natural disadvantages cannot be overcome with only sweat and tears. And if you put yourself out there in violent combat, the monsters and beasts aside, as a woman, you are opening yourself up to other risks besides disembowelment and decapitation. Civilization has fallen far, and what it means to be civilized with it. You cannot expect the law to protect. You cannot expect your fellow human to help or respect. You cannot expect kindness to be repaid, nor can you expect injustice to be avenged. If you wish to be noble, and save whoever you so fancy, I would call most unworthy of your kindness. Thus, I ask you once more: Are you sure being a knight is the calling for you?”

When he put it like that, it was almost as if I was supposed to say no. I didn’t have much going for me. I’ll admit, it was intimidating. But I remembered what he said about my training. It ended only if I was finished being trained or if I gave up myself. And he was trying to push me towards the latter because it gave him an easy out.

Ha-ha, you will not catch me with your wily mind-tricks mister Wolf. I see what you’re up to. And I know that I’m weak. I always have been my entire life. I don’t need you to list me why.

“Yes.” I said as firmly and resolutely as I could.

The Wolf merely sighed.

“Nobody ever listens. I did not expect you to. Not with this or with the boons. You should still get one. It could help negate some of your biggest weaknesses if you know what to ask for. Or make up the advantages others have over you. The sooner the better.”

I only heard one thing out of that. “It can make me taller?”

He scoffed. “Maybe. If that is all you wish and you are willing to pay the price. Are you?”

“…no.”

“Very well.” He stood up. “Without a boon, your first weakness is unsolvable. Your second one we shall fix over time. That is the first thing you need. Time. And medicine. Here, eat this bug.”

He gave me an oddly familiar looking beetle. “Hey. The pretty lady gave me one of these too. Do you know her?”

He looked at me like I was an idiot. Or he was just looking past me. Hard to tell with his helmet on.

“Eat. If you want your arm to heal at all.” He said.

I swallowed the bug as quickly as I could. It still tasted horrible, but all medicine did. That meant it was good. Though, most remedies didn’t try to climb out of my throat again.

I should chew the next one better.

I finished the beetle and looked to him for instruction.

“You have little soul for someone who made it to the temple. Though it will be enough for our purposes. We will work on weakness two for the time being. Only when your body is actually able to withstand the rigors of training will I begin to teach you anything beyond footwork and endurance. Weakness three will have to wait. You are in no shape for mock combat due to your arm, and I don’t have to tell you why weakness four isn’t something we can change, right?”

I shook my head. I very much so preferred being me, in my own body and all. Maybe a bit taller, but I was fine as I stood, for now. In my mind, it just meant I had to put in more effort than anyone else to achieve the same results. I didn’t have to be the best, just the best I could be.

“Well then. Weakness number two. For now, we keep it simple. Any questions?” asked the Wolf.

I raised my hand.

“Good. Today, we will be doing some running. Until you drop.” He said, ignoring me completely

I gulped.

“Around the temple, you will run, and run, and then run some more. I need to know your limits to see where we start off. Make sure not to fall on your bad arm, that would add unnecessary weeks of recovery. And the time for rest is over.”

He shooed me away and I did as commanded, near happy that I was finally beginning the training to get back in shape. My body wasn’t horribly brittle, or weak like before, but if I truly wanted to hold my own, then my arms were too thin and legs too weak. Pains and aches I’d come to associate with the slow, laborious process of un-deading my body in detail still marred my skin and flesh. But as I started running, I felt my heart warm up, then my head, then my chest and everything else.

I was running. No threat of death, no rush, just running as long and far as I could. The ground was horrible, muck and dirt splashing with every step. But I went on.

The temple island, which was more like the wide flat top of a stone pillar than a chunk of land floating in the ocean, had enough space for me to complete a full course around the entire building. Gravestones, trees and the occasional boulder sat in the way and between them and the winding narrow paths that were beaten into the earth, it took me roughly ten minutes of light jogging, walking and clumsy climbing to complete a lap.

The distance wasn’t particularly long. I just wasn’t very fast. My armor was weighing me down, yes, but mostly I had to be careful not to hit my arm on anything. And the heavy metal plating was more of an endurance issue anyways. So much in fact that by the end of that single lap, I was sweating and panting like a dog, my knees wobbly and legs like lead.

“You were slow.” The Wolf said.

“I-I’m being careful. As you said.” I stammered.

“Good. Another lap then.”

And I ran once more. I didn’t finish the full loop this time. My legs gave out half-way and I had a bout of dizziness that refused to go away even after sitting down for a few minutes. It wasn’t like I didn’t want to run; it was that even through only a short period of exercise, my body ran dry and simply refused to obey.

Ow! Cramp, cramp, ow, ow my leg. Gah! Stupid, stupid body.

The moment the Wolf got into my viewing range (he went out to look for me) I tried to stand, but promptly collapsed onto the muddy ground again. I lay there, struggling and squirming as I tried to get up on legs that jerked stiffly and simply refused to obey.

He chuckled. “Well. Looks like Glom was right. You really are a worm.”

“Ugh.” I didn’t even have the energy for a good comeback.

“Are you still disinclined to accept her offer for a boon?”

“Yes. No soul stuff. No deals, no pacts, no gifts. I’m good as I am.”

He looked at me, then to the sky. It had started raining again, if ever so slightly.

“Then we’re done for today. Wash up and stay out of the rain.”

I sat up quickly, almost tumbling to my side. “But we just started! That was barely half an hour if at all!”

He gave me a look that shut me up again. I… thought I could run a lot further. I was wrong. I was weak. The road to recovery and improvement then seemed almost infinitely long.

I’ll get there. I just have to put some trust in myself. And the Wolf. He knows what he’s doing. Maybe.

Maybe I should get a boon from Glom?

Wait, no, bad. No soul-pacts.

It was time to rest, and the Wolf instructed me not to run or do demanding labor for the next two days. But I didn’t sit still. How could I? After all, if I was as weak as he claimed (and a based claim it was), then I’d have to do more.

Work harder.

Push myself.

Until I couldn’t stand no more.