I sink back into the warmth of She-Dragon, unaware until that point how I had sat up straight and stared ahead as if I were a soldier reporting to a commander. I didn’t tell Jed all, but I told him more than anyone alive knows, except for the Black Master.

With a sigh, I let my eyes move over to Jed, who has a taught jaw and flashing eyes. His brows are furrowed as if in pain.

“You did all of it—“

“Almost all of it,” I interrupt, knowing where he’s going.

“Almost all of it, because anytime you d-d-didn't, they hurt people?”

My jaw clenches and I trace a scar along the side of my neck. “They razed a city to the ground when a spy leaked knowledge about the guild—all because I did not kill the reporter. His entire family and the town—“ I cut off abruptly, smelling the rotten stench of entrails and bile, all while the pyre burned red hot when I added another body.

I remember I’m speaking with but a boy and know now why Frida did not wish me to tell them things of my past. I go too far, describe too much. Because I myself am callous to such things does not mean others aren’t. And naïveté is a gift I should work to uphold, not tear down every chance I get.

His eyes are wide and his face pale. His chest does not move. “Jed. Jed—breathe!” He doesn’t even acknowledge me.

I blow into his face, gently smacking his cheeks, being careful not to use my Shifter stregnth in my panic and hurt him.

He gasps in a breath. His body shakes. Guilt curdles my stomach as he loses his dinner, his entire body wracked with sobs.

I wipe his mouth when he’s done, ignoring the splatters on my boots. He gasps again, shaking uncontrollably.

I don’t know what to do... my fists clench and unclench, and all I can do is sit and watch my brother as he panics, his eyes wild and his heart thundering in his chest.

She-Dragon glares at me, then keens a low, soft thrum. She does it again, butting her nose against Jed’s head and ruffling his hair with her breath. She hums again, and Jed turns, wrapping his small arms as far as they will go around her nose.

My story was too much for his soft heart to hold.

I should have never told him.

You sure can be an idiot sometimes, you know that? Cynic says.

For once, I agree entirely.

My soul sinks as my brother at last is enfolded in an uneasy sleep, holding onto the dragon as if she is the only thing tethering him to the world.

When will I stop hurting the ones I love most?

~~~

Flash finds me in the cold, dark winter's night on the other end of the dragon cavern. The snow shimmers around us, and the rushing river far below barely meets my ears. The calls of coyotes and the roar of a drake resound in the night sky, far enough away not to be a worry.

Flash sits beside me, snow crunching under him, not saying a word.

Eventually I release a breath, the sky overhead clouded and pitch black, about as dark as my soul. My pleas to the Allfather... all I heard was silence. I asked him what to do, how to move forward, how to make it up to my brother—but I received nothing in response.

“I am honored at your trust.”

I glance over at the cat, his face uncommonly serious as he keeps his gaze on the plains bathed in shimmering snow.

I nod, accepting his words, turning back to gaze at the sky. I knew he was outside the tent, assigned as our guard for the night, I suppose. I knew he could hear. And he knows I knew.

“He will be alright, you know.”

I hiss out a breath, sounding a lot like the cats. “I’m an idiot.” Amusement flares from Cynic.

“Can’t say I disagree, but he did ask for it.”

“Do you give a child a knife because he asked for it? My story is just as dangerous.”

“That is true.”

For some reason, that amuses me. I glance at him from the corner of my eye, one eyebrow raising a miniscule amount. “You aren’t making this any easier.”

“Nope. Not here to make it easier. I’m here to be your friend because you need it.”

A smile tips my lips. “Thank you, shadhon.”

His eyes widen. Then a broad grin alights his face and his blue eyes twinkle in joy. He gets me in a headlock, and I let him ruffle my hair. “Kinky! You actually called me brother? I’m your brother. I’m Bloodfang’s shadhon!”

I chop his throat, making him gurgle a protest and let me go.

He rubs his throat with a glare as I turn my eyes back to the sky, leaning back on my elbows, a smile turning my lips and my heart lighter than before. “Don’t press your luck. You’re still annoying.”

His brows lower in a glower like the Imperial, but his throat is likely still too sore to make words.

My chuckle grows into a full-blown laugh as he scowls at me, but he smiles too, shaking his head.

“Should’ve been... more aware,” he croaks out, still rubbing his throat.

“Play with fire, shadhon, and you’ll be burned.”

Good one, Cynic comments, amusement flaring within.