《Baron Britpop Blastfurnace》Explaining My Plight
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Once we were on board The Jellyfish and out of view of the Sea Merchant II, Captain Peanut Butter retired to his cabin without saying a word. His first mate, a man with unusually large muscles and a scar that ran the length of his left cheek, walked up to us and abruptly asked, “Are you sailors?”
“I am a blacksmith, and Andelbert is a baker,” I replied.
“I thought as much. You are worthless to me. But you paid to be part of the crew, and you will be. You’ll be swabbin’ the deck and helping the cook. I got no use for layabouts. And we got a sturdy plank we ain’t used in a while.”
Then he smiled an unnerving smile and walked away. I instantly began to second guess my decision.
Andelbert broke my train of thought by saying, “Don’t lose hope. I watched the men working on the Sea Merchant II closely, and I am confident I can do several of their jobs. I will teach you. But for now, let’s begin swabbing the deck.”
So we swabbed the deck vigorously. The threat of a short walk into a vast ocean is a surprisingly powerful motivator. When we finished swabbing, we reported to the cook who tasked us with chopping onions. Andelbert asked me if he should tell the cook about his baking skills, and I said it was probably best to wait a day and not upset their routine too soon.
That night we slept in the hold with the crew. In the morning, Andelbert rose early and shook me awake.
“I am going to the kitchen to ask if I can bake bread,” he whispered.
“I will join you. We must stick together.”
We arrived in the kitchen, and the cook was preparing porridge. Andelbert explained to the cook that he was an experienced baker who baked bread onboard the Sea Merchant II.
“I am really quite good at it. Perhaps it will please the Captain if I make some bread for him. Of course, it is your galley, so you will rightly take credit for it if he enjoys it. And I will take full blame if he does not.”
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The cook stared at him. I thought he might throw a knife at Andelbert’s face. But instead, he laughed and said, “Boy, you can’t hardly be a worse baker than me. I can make a stew out of a fishbone and a bucket of soapy water that will have you beggin’ for more. But my baking skills be my downfall. You can bake your bread on one condition. If Cap’n likes it, you will be teachin’ me how to do it.”
“Agreed,” Andelbert said with a smile. My heart smiled a little also, and a ray of hope shone down on us both.
We baked bread that morning, and as expected, the crew wasted no time eating it all. Except for one loaf, which the cook stashed away for the Captain.
One of the crew, a large man with no hair on his head and a booming voice, asked the cook, “Cookie, when did you learn to make good bread. Usually, I break my teeth on the stuff if I don’t soak it for several hours.”
The cook ignored the insult and stated matter of factly, “I didn’t. The boy we brought from the Sea Merchant made it.”
“Then the boy is the best plunder we took yet. I ain’t ate bread so sweet since I was a wee lad, and my dear Mum baked it.”
“You never was a wee lad, Stout. It is widely known you was birthed a fat, ugly babe and only grew fatter and uglier as you aged,” Cookie said.
The crew all laughed.
“Tis true. ‘Ceptin’ I lost a considerable portion of my size once I was under your cookin’. No man could stomach enough of it to put on any measurable girth.”
The crew laughed again, with Stout laughing louder than anyone.
The cook snickered and replied, “It can’t be that mighty awful. I ain’t never seen you turn away from any plate set before you.”
“You have me there, old man,” Stout said and then turned to Andelbert. “Lad, please say you will be baking more bread for us.”
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“I will indeed. If cook allows it.”
Every eye went to Cookie, who simply said, “Aye. ‘Course, I will.”
Once again, Andelbert had proved an excellent choice of companion.
Stout turned back to Andelbert and me and said, “My real name is Winston, but everyone calls me Stout. Not ‘cause of my size, mind ya, but ‘cause of my love of dark beer.”
Stout held our stare for a moment, and then laughed long and loud. “I see you don’t believe me, and you’re wise not to. So tell me why you was crazy enough to ask a bunch of pirates to give you passage.”
Andelbert looked at me with apprehension, and I said, “That is a tale I feel obligated to tell the Captain first.”
“Then my timing is impeccable.”
I quickly turned around and saw Captain Peanut Butter standing in the galley door.
“Both of you come with me to my cabin,” the Captain said. Then he turned around and walked out the door. Andelbert and I both jumped up from the table and chased after him.
Once inside Captain Peanut Butter’s cabin, the Captain motioned for us to sit. Then he silently stared at us. His stare was unnerving, so I began to tell my story.
“Captain, I fully intend to give you the tenth of my silver as promised.”
“Indeed you shall,” the Captain replied.
I swallowed and continued. “But the truth of the matter is I made my offer out of fear for my life.”
“I’m not following you, boy. If you fear a lion, you don’t ask to sleep in its den,” the Captain stated.
“That is true. And I truly was afraid to board a pirate ship. But I was even more afraid to stay on the Sea Merchant II.”
“Why is that?”
“After many days at sea, Andelbert and I earned the friendship of the Sea Merchant II crew. One of them confided in us that a stranger had offered the crew a reward of silver if we were not to survive the trip. This news weighed heavily on my mind. When you arrived, I saw an opportunity to escape.”
“I see,” the Captain calmly said.
He took a long pause and said, “I will tell you this as plainly as I can. Had I been any other pirate, you would be at the bottom of the ocean, and the crew would be splitting up your silver. Did you not think to offer the Sea Merchant crew an even larger reward if you made it safely to your destination?”
I sat there, stunned at the simple and obvious answer that never occurred to me.
Peanut Butter continued. “It’s plain to see you are as unskilled at being rich as you are at making wise choices. Fortunately, luck sometimes shines on the foolish. Put your mind to rest. You are safe on board my ship and will arrive safely in Spain. That is if we aren’t captured by the Spanish.”
I thought about that last remark for a second, then put it out of my mind and said, “I am truly grateful, Captain. And shamed at my stupidity. I do not know how I will face the Grand Duke again if I make it safely home. And I shudder at the thought of meeting Captain Desmet again. I can imagine nothing less than a good thrashing on that day.”
Captain Peanut Butter laughed and said, “He would be more than justified. You placed him in an impossible situation. My heart almost went out to him. Now return to your duties. You wanted to be crew members, and crew members don’t spend their days loafing in the Captain’s cabin.”
“Yes, Captain,” I said. Andelbert and I quickly rose and returned to the kitchen.
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