~ 5 ~

The Edgy Wedding

I entered a slow glide after seeing the princess being walked out into the open. Two hooded guards stood at her side, holding her arms, taking the place of where her father was supposed to be. She wiggled and fought against them but, with a yank, they pulled and threw her toward the altar.

They're being aggressive with her! How come her family isn't doing anything about it? Is it because they can't? Or because they won't?

Now wasn't the time for useless thoughts as the bride took her place a foot away from the groom. Everyone eating had stopped to look at the ceremony ready to commence. The princess looked around for a moment, trying to glance at the sky without giving that fact away.

Was she worried that I wouldn't come?

Everyone's entitled to their suspicions.

Oh, well.

Here goes nothing!

I opened my mouth and unleashed a roar that rattled the sky, bombarding those below. People rose from their chairs just as my body struck the church's back wall. Parts of it crumbled from my contact, dust floating out from my arrival. Those who had stood were knocked back into their seats.

And once the dust had settled.

All looked up to see the invading beast.

"It's... him! It's the beast!" People shakily pointed and rose from their seats, stumbling away from the scene. They never broke eye contact with me. All they saw was a dragon affixed to the wall, a fire-breathing monster, a mass of shifting scales that sought to eat and devour. "A dragon... a dragon!"

I uncurled from the wall and slowly showed myself, revealing more of my size, exposing more of the terror of my mere existence. I opened my eyes wider to the crowd before me. My tongue slipped out from my muzzle, slithering in the air, drawing more cries and screams that the beast really was here.

During my show, I looked down to the princess, who looked up at me in relief. She was smiling, a hand over her chest. Then she nodded, winding her hand, a gesture for me to get a show on the road. With a nod, I tilted back my head, opening my mouth as I wiggled it about.

Another roar crawled up my throat and unleashed into the vibrating air; most had dropped to their knees, plugging their ears, unable to deal with the threat of a creature. My roar was followed by an expulsion of purple flames. The constant jets blew upward, steam rolling upward from it.

Little fires fell to the ground, and many started to run, escaping the church.

The rest, the groom and creepy family, were stunned by the sudden arrival of a beast. That was my cue to snatch the princess. With a nod to her, I raised my claw, making a show to open it in the air. Then I glared down at her with a lick to my lips, another roar, the battle cry of my kind, the claim that this woman would now be mine.

She stumbled backward in horror and fear, but the little smile on her face showed that the coast was clear. With my open claw held to the sky, I readied myself to thrust downward, to make a show of calming and crushing her within my hold.

The stereotypical dragon stealing the princess and whisking her away to some tower in a distant land. Shitty little fairy tales that, no matter the world, always seemed to be included its myths. It should be enough of a cover story for people to buy.

"You fucking liar!"

My claw froze in the air.

I recognized the voice.

Oh, no fucking way.

"You're such a fucking asshole, dragon!" the voice of the knight appeared through the twin doors of the church's entrance. He brandished his sword and leapt onto the table. "I came to you days before this wedding. Sufficient time to slay you. You told me that not all dragons were the same. That you didn't fuck with people."

He spread out his arms. "But here you are now! Fucking with people! You fucking asshole!"

My mouth opened, and I blinked. This guy was a hero for the family?

"You fucking dumbass!" The princess was next to shout at me. "Out of all the guys you carried back to your cavern, you didn't think to say this generation's Laleen Hero was one of them?"

The groom shook his head and looked at them both. "Why the fuck are you two attempting to speak to a dragon?"

Another voice cried from the crowd. "Why the fuck is everyone saying fuck so much?!"

Both the hero and princess looked at the voice. "Shut it, granny!"

In an instant, our plan had fallen apart, and the people that lingered were those clued in on the heist. I was left confused for a moment. Then an idea struck. If everything was going to be based on bullshit in this world, I should try my claw at expressing some.

"Fools... the lot of you! Fools, fools, fools!" I tilted upward and spurted a quick flare of flames, washing the constant stream left and right. I adjusted my claws perched on the wall, shuffling over the morsels. "The hero tricked by mere words. A princess fooled by a beast of all creatures."

I laughed, and the princess looked at me, wincing at my acting and pointing a finger downward for me to turn it down a notch. "Hero! What did you say when you entered my lair? That the dragons able to speak..."

His eyes widened. "...that those are the ones you must not listen to the most!"

"And yet your feeling of morals holds you back." I shot my tail downward and wrapped it around the princess, ensnaring her in my hold as I lifted her from the ground. "And the princess! Willing to believe that, if she trusted me, that I would deliver carts and carriage of resources and food! Your kind isn't supposed to be that easy! Haven't you humans learned anything in the last hundred years!?"

The groom—cultist family included—stepped forward.

"I don't think so, Mister Edge." I smiled at him sinisterly with narrowed eyes, nudging toward the princess caught in my tail. "My grip tightens with your every step. How many until she pops? What's the number you're willing to risk?"

The groom paused and seemed to have started thinking of a plan. That meant less time for me to figure out a way to both resolve and escape the situation. Holding the princess out for everyone to see, I curled my tail tighter but, at around the princess's waist, actually loosening my hold.

She thrashed, screaming in agony, and I laughed, looming my head above her, opening my mouth to reveal the inside of my maw. Saliva glossed my fangs as droplets fell from them, splashing the princess with spit.

Now I feel like shit.

I spoke in a whisper with an open mouth, doing my best not to betray that I was speaking.

"You doing alright?"

She groaned and wiggled herself free from my spit and, with a closed mouth, yelled back at me. "Jhast fwine!"

I winced.

It was an answer enough.

"Unhand her!" The hero said as he started to dash forward. "You unbecoming beast!"

He cocked his sword over his shoulder and chucked it forward at me, the blade disappearing into my shoulder. Only the hilt stuck out. I winced and ground my fangs, attempting to hide the pain from my face. I couldn't let them know that being stabbed by a toothpick was enough to decently hurt me.

"Ack! W-What the fuck, dude?" the angry words escaped me before I could catch them. "Can you try this shit after I'm speaking? What if you hit the princess with that throw? Think before you fucking act, next time."

I cleared my throat.

"None of you know the agony of being a smarter dragon. The boredom to be found after all your fighting and fucking has been done." I settled back into my role as I returned my tail behind me, taking away the princess. "You humans were put here as entertainment for our kind. We instil treachery so we may have something better to watch. But more and more, your kind has been boring mine."

I grinned. "And this requires us to intervene every now and again."

My wings unfurled and flared to their full size, a single, mighty flap, to cast slashing winds on those below. Plates and glasses flew and smashed against the walls. "Hunt me if you dare! Make yourself rich from the treasures that I hoard! This princess will live until my amusement dies out. You have until then before you're searching for a corpse."

Feeling as though I had taken the show, I prepared myself for flight, though something told me... getting away wouldn't be so easy. Before my wings could flap, I saw the once hooded people join together. Their hands lifted out from their sleeves, held toward the groom.

Purple aura burned into existence from their hands, an amethyst magma that should have melted the skin from their bones. Their magic shot outward in beams, each person's magic connecting to the other. All of their magic, once collected, funnelled in the largest beam yet into the groom.

His hair blew backward as winds slashed the ground beneath his feet. His eyes lifted from the ground, a smile sliced across his face. His eyes trailed a mist that escaped from the sides of his eyelids. And he looked up at me with an agenda already pre-booked.

"You won't be going anywhere." Mister Edgelord chuckled as his hands lifted next, and he pointed them at me, empowered by his family. "Devouring your corpse will make a splendid addition to our power." His magic spread into the shapes of various daggers, each appearing around him, their sharpness—and capability for explosions—aimed at me. "Now, please prepare yourself for death."

I knew he was a fucking edgelord.

"Uh, Cole!" a voice cried from behind me. "Let's get the fuck out of here!"

It was too late.

The blades had all formed and lifted into the air, joining together, and, even if I could survive the attack… the princess might not.

Quick! Think! How do I deflect this asshole's magical attack! Think, Cole, think! When you weren't being lazy or useless, what have you learned that works well against magic? Quick!

An idea came to mind.

And then the knives flew forward.