“I’ll go right!” My auntie disappears and I pray that she can find her. Even if Meera’s been in a coma for a month, she might still be faster than me.

[Stormy Breeze of My Loneliness, Gather Forth-Gust]

Chanting, I summon twin jets of wind to propel me into the sky. Up high, I use my birds-eye vantage to scan for movement. Down below, I see Elina running through the streets to our right. I’ll check the left. Using Foresight I simulate turning my neck in various directions. It’s marginally faster than actually looking. The result though? A bunch of empty streets. No one’s out at this hour, it’s past curfew. But then, I spot a blur of movement going down an alleyway at ten o’clock-

“There! Elina, turn around!” I point with one hand while throwing the other hand behind me. Gust turns me into a rocket, but the blur I’m aiming at changes direction as soon as I move. “Damnit, Meera stop!”

“S-STAY AWAY!”

*Shing*

Something flies at me. I dart out of the way as a silverish line streaks past my temple. How the hell did she get a throwing knife?

“Elina, over here!” I shout. My auntie appears next to me a second later.

“Where is she?!” Elina swivels her head around.

I point at the alleyway, and the Healer flickers away, on the hunt. Meanwhile, I take to the skies again. Several lights have come on in nearby buildings, but nobody dares to go outside. I can already hear shouts from nearby Rainstopper sentries. They’ll be here soon to investigate, but by then it’ll be too late. Flying up until the figures on the ground start to turn blurry, I squint, trying to find Meera again. However, I see nothing. Eventually, I’m forced to drop to the ground and wait for Elina. Please…please tell me you found her!

*Flicker*

Auntie Elina returns about five minutes later. I look up hopefully, but she shakes her head. “I can’t find her. She’s hiding somewhere.”

“Damnit!” Tapping my foot on the ground, I think fast. “When Meera woke up, she just lost it. I think the spell did something to her. We have to keep searching!”

“Myrr…” Elina puts up her hands awkwardly. “I know you want to find her, but if she doesn’t want to be found…I don’t think…”

“We can’t just let her go! She’s out of her mind!” I shout back.

“Sure.” Elina winces, seeing my panic. She steps towards me. “But…how do you plan on catching her?”

“I…you’re fast. We’ll get Jarshan and…”

“Myrr,” my auntie sighs, “Jarshan and I are a bit faster, but we’re also Rainstoppers. Meera will know how to evade us.”

“But…but…!” I try to find some way to refute her logic. “We can’t…just give up. Right?”

“I’m sorry.” The Healer waits beside me as Rainstopper sentries flicker in one-by-one. “We’ll lock down the gates. And maybe we’ll get lucky. But I just want you to be prepared, okay?”

“Prepared for what!”

“Just…” Elina’s face turns awkward as Jarshan appears next to us. “Remember, that girl’s been through a lot. People need time to think.”

“She’s not in her right mind!” I wave my hands. “Half the Omniscient Guard are still missing. And who knows what the Upper Houses are planning!”

“Calm down.” She puts a hand on my shoulder as my world spins. “She’ll come back when she’s ready. Besides…if Meera doesn’t want to see you…what are you going to do about it?”

Huh?

“I’ll…” Gulping, I realize that Elina’s right. Meera is the person I’d send to track someone down. Now that she’s gone…how am I going to find her?

…

I…can’t.

Goddamit!

“Elina, she’ll come back right?”

My auntie tries to be comforting. But she can’t hide the doubt in her voice,

“Just give her time.”

#

The search proves to be fruitless. I comb the city all night, but just as Elina predicted, finding Meera is a fool’s task. She knows how Rainstopper’s think. As well as how I think. Like everything else in Merekeep, my ex-employee just seems to vanish into the shadows. When the sun comes up, I’m forced to call it quits. Elina gives me a worried look, but I wave her off and she strides away to discuss the night’s events with Jarshan. As for me, I head back inside the shop. Crossing through the front lobby, I make a mental note to have the window in Meera’s room replaced. In front of Nya’s room, I stop. Maybe I should check on her…actually, Elina said that she was sleeping, right?

I’ll wait a few hours.

Continuing onwards, I’m about to go to my own room when there’s a creak. My head swivels around towards Natalia’s room. A thought occurs to me. Meera woke up…does that mean?

I don’t wait another second-

*Bang*

Barging through the unlocked door, I search desperately for the person on the bed. But her cot is empty. My heartbeat grows loud in my ears. Staring at the rumpled sheets, I gulp. The blankets flutter, a slight breeze coming from the broken window next door. She’s…already gone?

“Natalia?” I call out brokenly.

The shadowy room swims as my fear grows.

…

…

Gone…everyone’s gone…

*Creak*

A slight hint of motion. My mouth opens, not daring to hope. But then a pair of ginger ears pop up from under the bed. Natalia rises like a resurrected ghost. Her short frame is clothed in a small white nightgown.

“I’m here.” She looks at me with a lost expression. Gone is the rage which drove her after the Stranger. Instead, there is a pensive hesitation. She’s still here! My sister looks down at her feet. “Did you find Meera?”

…

I stand still, not daring to move. “We lost her.” Watching her carefully, I keep my magic at the ready. Who knows if she’s going to do something crazy. I better be careful.

“She…we…” Natalia touches her cheek. She keeps staring at the floor. Shadows hang off her gaunt features as she warbles, “That spell you used…I was barely awake. But I still felt it. Things twisting…bits of me coming…undone…”

“I didn’t know that would happen,” I whisper regretfully.

“Stop. I don’t care.” The Demi-Cat shakes her head. She glances up at me briefly then her gaze darts away to look out the window. Turning her back to me, Natalia hunches over and shudders. “I’m just…trying to let you know. If she was awake during that…it would have been hell. I would have lost my mind…worse than I already have.”

…

…

Neither of us speaks for a long time after that. Every once in a while, Natalia peeks at me out of the corner of her eyes. But I don’t know what to say. The half of her face I can see is covered in shadow. It seems sad. Is she thinking about the Stranger?

I start to talk. Natalia answers at the same time.

“You know, I killed Shadow-”

“I’ll get going then-”

What?

Both of us pause awkwardly.

“Natalia, you want to leave?”

“Shadow’s dead?”

Confused, I try to figure out what’s happening. Natalia looks away from the window. She meets my eyes with disbelief. But then her gaze drops as her lips press together-

“I’m sorry.” She shakes her head again and wraps her arms around her chest. “His death was my responsibility. I failed again.” The small Demi-Cat takes a deep breath. And slowly walks around the bed. She pads towards me, heading for the door. Her stoney-face has an expression so bitter that I’m struck dumb for a second. “Sorry…for everything, Myrr. I won’t cause trouble for you anymore.”

What do I say?

“...” My brain fails to find words. “Natalia…”

*Tap*

She passes me by. And I close my eyes in pain. There’s so many things I want to say. But right now, none of them will come out. I keep remembering Kisa’s face. Those peaceful eyes begging me to take care of Nya. I can’t…I don’t know what to say.

“Goodbye, Myrr.”

…

*Creak*

Behind me, Natalia pulls open the door. But then…another barely perceptible noise-

*Plop*

It’s faint. But I hear a single drop of rain hit the floor under Natalia’s feet. And I know the roof isn’t leaking.

She’s…crying?

Whirling around, I throw out my palm!

[Stormy Breeze of My Loneliness, Gather Forth-Gust]

A roaring tornado blasts past Natalia-

“Where the hell do you think you’re going!”

*Bang*

The door slams shut.

Natalia freezes, her unclipped hair billowing in the wind. Jumping forwards, I give her no chance to escape. Wrapping my arms around her neck, I concentrate and cover the entire room in frost. Behind me, the window pane cracks from the sudden cold-

[Frozen Water of My Soul, Come Forth-Chill]

*Kacha*

Over the empty window frame, an even harder sheet of crystalline ice forms. Within seconds, we’re surrounded by a magical glacier. Natalia doesn’t move, but I clench her tighter. She’s become crafty after growing up. I can’t trust that this isn’t a ruse to escape.

“You aren’t going anywhere!” I keep my hands around my sister and hold on for dear life. Natalia shivers in my embrace. Despite our frosty cage, drops of something warm spill onto my forearms.

…

…

“But I…killed her.” Natalia sniffles. She puts up no resistance. Just stands there, in my arms, without looking back at me. “That girl next door…the one that looks like me. She’s alone now. And it’s my fault.”

“It wasn’t your fault.” I feel my jaw clenching as I say it. Maybe I don’t entirely believe what I’m saying. But I’m going to say it anyway, “The Stranger made you do it.”

“No, he didn’t.”

“Yes he did. He manipulated you. And even if he didn’t…” My heart skips a beat. “Then it’s my fault! I left you at the Sect! I knew it was a bad idea! But I did it anyways! I left you alone…and vulnerable. You can’t blame yourself!”

“Myrr, I…I can’t stay here.” The Demi-Cat in my arms shakes her head. She turns back to look at me, and I see her despairing face. The violent hatred within her no longer has a target. So it’s turning inwards. She’s chewing herself to pieces. The guilty girl chokes as sobs break out, “You know it’s true. Even if you want to…some things you can’t forgive.”

Damnit. I can’t let her leave.

“If I can’t forgive, then I’ll forget!” The Voice told me these words, right as I was about to kill Natalia. Now, I understand what she meant. Blinking tears from my eyes, I silently think of the one who guided me away from the wrong path. Thank you for stopping me. I almost made the biggest mistake of my life.

“You won’t forget.” Natalia closes her eyes and reaches weakly for the door again. “It’s impossible. You’ll always hate me.”

“Never.” I hold fast and don’t let her go. In the end, no matter what the Stranger has done to her, in my arms, she is just Natalia. The sweet bullied girl that wanted a friend. “You promised me that when you were strong enough, you’d follow me anywhere. Did you change your mind?”

“I’m not strong enough.” She whimpers.

“We killed the Stranger together.”

“You killed Shadow.” Natalia shakes her head sadly. Over and over. “Stop it. Just let me go! I’m worthless!”

“I only got him because of you.” I sigh, still confused about the whole affair. How did he know my mother? It sounded like they were lovers. But I can’t be…his child. Why would someone send assassins after their own kid? Blinking tears from my eyes, I tighten my arms around Natalia’s neck. And steel myself. The road ahead is hard, but I’m certain this has to be the right choice. Forgive. And if you can’t, then forget. “Recently, I lost the head maid of my household. And now my number one employee is missing. Everyone in this city is out to get me. Natalia, I need someone I can trust.”

“You can’t trust me,” Natalia whispers with torment, “I betrayed you.”

“No. You didn’t.” Loosening my death grasp around her neck, I reach up with one hand and stroke a fuzzy ear. Just like I used to when she was younger. “I left you behind. It was my betrayal. But this time…I need a maid. Are you willing to be mine?”

…

…

“You’ll regret this.” She says softly. “I’ll let you down again.”

“I’ll never regret you.” I let my spell go. The frost covering the room starts to fade. “No matter what happens, you’ll always be family. So I’ll ask you one more time.” Pausing for a second, I think of a fitting way to say this. When I find the words, I let them come out slowly. But they feel more binding than any spell, “Will you…Natalia, stay by my side, no matter who or what I may face during my travels? Will you travel the world with me and obey my commands till our unfortunate end? No matter who tests your loyalty, be it Witch, Devil, or God, will you answer them the same way? Are you willing to tell the world that you are…my maid?”

…

…

…

Natalia leans back into me. I hear her sobbing cries as the storm clouds in her eyes break and rain splatters on the floor.

“Y-Yes! Natalia will always be Myrr’s maid!”

“So be it.” Waiting for her tears to subside, I close my own eyes and think on what to do next. “As long as you want me, I’m yours.”

Forgive. And if you can’t, forget.

Thank you. It was good advice.

But I have a question.

What do I do when someone doesn’t deserve to be forgiven?