While I had been floating around Fallow with Lawlimi and PamyuPamyu, my dual consciousness had also been searching for more bad bug business. Cicada related graffiti was on the rise across the cities of Mythopoeia, and more worrisome, an insectoid motif was turning up in quests and treasure spawns for heroic players. This suggested an ADI was pushing the changes deliberately.

New information was added to my database as players documented their findings.

>>

CICADA : An insect associated with the god Jang, especially with his cyclic aspects of destruction, renewal, and rebirth. See LOCUST. The cicada is also associated with the dead god Acarus, who is said to sleep beneath the corrupted forest of Shaed. His followers assert that Acarus will one day rise again to renew his feast upon all life. In this aspect, the cicada is seen as a sign of the end-times. It can be found carved into ancient ruins as well as painted in modern back alleys. It is said that those who eat cicadas gain a form of immortality, though there is thus far no evidence of success.

>>

There had not been another JammyJams incident. That player had remained logged off since his recent defeat. But circumstances change quickly.

JammyJams was coming online, and he was respawning in Fallow.

I tried to contact Tasma, but she was offline. There weren't many moderators active in the middle of the night, and none that knew of my special status as an ADI. JammyJamsJams had no equipment when he erupted out of the ash banks of the graveyard, and like every newly dead arrival to Fallow, his Body was fixed at one. He was likely going to pay the toll with some Vaulted coin and take the first boat back to life.

(1/250,637)

Exactly as it should be.

(3,001/250,637)

That ... wasn't right.

(6,001/250,637)

His regeneration was overriding the lock on his Body and Spirit (5,010/130,000). To my knowledge, this had never happened before, and my knowledge was absolute. Anubis strode through the tombstones to meet the new arrival. The jackal-headed Therian and the giant were about of a height. Jams was all flesh tones, completely nude, his musculature swollen out of human proportions and his fists calcified into mallets.

"Welcome to the underworld, human. Are you prepared to pay the toll?" Anubis addressed him as he would have any other orphan spirit, as a superior being.

"Tell me about the Annunomicon." JammyJams voice was distorted, there was a slight reverb.

Anubis barked a laugh. "A sacred treasure of the sepulcher. You need not concern yourself with it, hero. It is not for the likes of you."

"Thanks." Jams grabbed Anubis by his top and bottom jaws and jerked the bottom out of its socket.

>>

(Successful Grapple — Bonebreaker — 24,807 Damage)

(Anubis is SURPRISED.)

(Anubis is DISTRACTED 20%)

(Anubis (157,113/181,920)

>>

The ancient guardian of the graveyard made an undignified noise and went to his knees, clawing ineffectually at the oversized hand that still gripped him by his sensitive nose. Jams pulled back his left arm and a swirl of crimson energy coalesced around it before he punched the side of Anubis's skull.

>>

(Power Punch — BOOM! HEADSHOT —115,820 Bludgeoning Damage)

>>

Anubis crumpled. While watching this, I was also checking on Lawlimi.

>>

Grinding Away 2 — Achievement

Are your knuckles sore? You have triturated over one hundred herbs and roots for their use in alchemical formula, maybe you're ready now to actually start doing some Alchemy.

(You gain 109 XP)

(Grinding Away 3 : 10% Complete)

(You have enough experience to advance in level.)

>>

Lawlimi stretched, put up his toys, and started to go to his chamber to sleep and level up.

"There's a problem," I said.

He stopped in the hallway outside the laboratory, lowering his voice to keep from waking the zombie child. "What's up?"

"A high-level player with a regeneration hack is coming to steal the Annunomicon. He is currently in the graveyard but will be with us shortly. You need to take the Annunomicon before he can and flee into the catacombs."

"I can't steal it. Mona would kill me. Besides, there are angels outside the sepulcher that can stop any player."

"Yes, theoretically, they could, but I am currently conversing with them, and it seems that they will not stop this one."

"What?"

The angels were blue-winged, androgynous humanoids in platinum plate, and armed with celestial weapons that could reduce dragons to cinders. They had orichalcum masks for faces, and voices that echoed with brass.

"JammyJams is killing Anubis," I told them, "and he appears to be using a powerful mod to break the strictures on dead player activity."

"We see all," The angels intoned.

"Then are you going to stop him?"

"We cannot." They were immobile except for their wings, which flapped in slow-motion.

"Why not?"

"The being you know as JammyJams operates under the aegis of one of the Twelve. To act against him would bring Our Lord into open conflict with another Mantle of Divinity. Such has not been done since the Sundering of the Worm, as you well know, Bard."

"Are you saying he isn't cheating?"

"We cannot act." The precious, metallic masks allowed for no inflection, nor did their echoic tones. "Neither Our Lord nor the Unnamed has given us instruction here, and so we must watch and wait until such a time."

Lawlimi listened to my explanation with equanimity, then strode back into the laboratory and picked up a knife, using it to saw through the leather rope that was suspending the zombie child, who woke when his head cracked on the floor.

"Hey," Lawlimi nudged him with his foot. "There's a bad guy coming to attack the sepulcher. Go tell Mona he needs to check it out."

The kid hissed his displeasure but scampered off to do as he was told. Lawlimi immediately began stuffing alchemical ingredients, reagents, and potions into his inventory.

"You need to move on," I told him. JammyJamswas already out of the graveyard.

"I need to buy a ticket, remember?" Lawlimi left off pillaging the laboratory and went at a fast shuffle down the corridor to the Library of Heng. "What's Mona doing right now anyway?"

"Diddling himself."

"What?"

"Diddling himself. He has a large supply of Zyalis if you recall."

"Why is that a part of the game?!" Lawlimi reached the library, barely managed to push open the stone door, and grabbed the Annunomicon from where he had left it.

"The creator's first dictum was completism. Mythopoeia was going to be different from the real world, but it would be complete unto itself. His designers took that order to heart. Masturbation is a perfectly natural part of life."

"He's. Not. Alive." Lawlimi inventoried the book and used his hands to ward off any further mental images. "Whatever. Now, where do I go?"

There was a thunderous boom from ground level, the main doors had broken open, their massive bar exploding inward. I directed Lawlimi, turn by turn, deeper into the catacombs to where it connected with the sewers that ran under Fallow.

"There's a loose stone there, use your blade to remove it from the wall."

He took instructions well. The cavity so revealed contained a small iron box tied with a silver cord. He tucked it away and kept moving.

"You know where everything's hidden down here?" Lawlimi was moving as fast as he could, which wasn't very.

"I know where everything's hidden everywhere."

"I don't want to cheat."

"You are free to wander aimlessly and ignore all my instructions if you so choose. I will remind you, however, that the player chasing you is also cheating."

"Oh, I’m not going to ignore you. I was just going to complain about it to ease my conscience."

"As you wish." I led him to a pouch of orichalcum hidden inside a skull, and a set of rings that had been left with their original owner's remains. Those were the treasures that happened to lie along the path to the way out of the catacombs. There were many more, but time was pressing. The sepulcher had guardians aside from the angels, and they were falling in quick succession. Gargoyles were reduced to clumps of spalling, and skeletons were duly deconstructed. Hannah, and the other acolytes, held him for long minutes with their golden wizardry, but Jams seemed possessed of a limitless spirit, enough to wear down all their bindings and barriers. He simply would not die.

Then there was Mona. The Relic Guardian faced JammyJams from down the nave of the basilica, carrying a bone scepter headed by a diamond-encrusted skull, and bearing an onyx rosary in his left hand.

Jams kicked aside a dead acolyte, the bodies of his defeated opponents crowding the vestibule and the doorway into the basilica proper. Red power pulsed in the ropy thickness of his veins, and the calcified bones of his hands cracked loudly as they clenched and unclenched.

"You will not pass," Mona said, darkness flowering from his rosary, and glinting shards of starlight pouring from his scepter.

"I am a GOD!" Jams shook his fists. "You do not command me."

"You are no more than a rampant child." With a twist of his scepter, Mona caused the fractured starlight to streak down the nave.

Jams leaped over the attack and flew forward, closing half the distance between them, and when he landed, cracking the tiles. He roared as he ripped up an entire pew and slung it at Mona, who held up the rosary to shield himself. Arms of darkness blocked the massive pew, blasting it back. Jams chose that moment to charge, leading with his shoulder and coming under the dark arms that shielded the lich. Mona smote him with the mace just as they came together, and they both went careening into the steps beneath the altar.

>>

(CRASH! Mona takes 40,164 Bludgeoning Damage)

(Jams takes 10,041 Recoil Damage)

(Mona (Body 91,066/131,230))

(Diamond Face of the Underworld lands a Lackadaisical Blow — Jams takes 19,800 Bludgeoning Damage)

(Jams resists STUN)

(Jams resists NECROSIS)

>>

A wave of darkness swept up JammyJams and tossed him into the nearest wall, giving Mona a moment to rise and collect himself. Some of his limbs were dislocated, and he had to presently pop them into place. JammyJams was coming back, and he was met with a tidal wave of corporeal blackness, freezing and burning at once. He was lost in the current, pushing forward against it, bleeding away the distance to Mona, who stood channeling spirit through his rosary with all his might. The struggle went on for 33 seconds, though I am sure it seemed longer than that to the pair of them, and then the darkness sputtered out, revealing a much-changed Jams.

His skin and so much of the flesh beneath had been abraded that he looked the part of an undead abomination better than Mona did. Where his gut had been torn open, a mass of quivering insects was revealed.

(14,719/250,637)

A cicada crawled out of a gap in his throat and disappeared down behind his collarbone. There was remarkably little blood.

(17,719/250,637)

"You ..." Mona began.

(20,719/250,637)

"I am inevitable." Jams took a single step and seized the lich's entire head in one hand, grabbing the arm that held the rosary with his other. Mona struck him with the mace…

>>

(Diamond Face of the Underworld strikes a Lackadaisical Blow for 17,404 Bludgeoning Damage)

(3,315/250,637)

>>

It was like using a bat to hit a hanging side of beef. Tendrils of darkness formed around the rosary until Jams ripped that arm out of its socket and threw it back over his shoulder. His skin was growing back like a dry film over a bowl of thick soup. The mace struck again, cracking a rib.

>>

(Diamond Face of the Underworld deals 32,308 Bludgeoning Damage)

(Jams resists STUN and NECROSIS)

(-29,007/250,637)

>>

Jams’ Rage abilities allowed him to fight on with less than zero Body, and he was still healing. He tore out Mona's other arm, and the mace clattered on the stone steps.

"I know you'll come back if I destroy you," he said, pushing Mona to the altar. "Right, lich? So instead, I can pull you apart."

"I will lay a curse on you such as this world has never seen." Mona's eyes flashed ochre and black, and his voice rose to fill the high arched roof of the basilica. "As your body regrows shall your mind wither, until you are nothing more than a beast! ANDROMALIUS, EARL OF ABBADON, PUNISH THIS WRETCH." Magical energy erupted from the Relic Guardian, howling through the rafters as a wind.

>>

(Curse Resisted)

>>

JammyJams took off one of Mona's legs at the knee, then the other. "I told you I'm a god," he said, arranging the lich on the altar and reaching down for the mace.

"No," Mona rasped, "but you are protected by one."

The hilt of the mace was carved to a point, so Jams drove it through Mona and into the marble altar just below his ribcage. "I'm sure someone will come for you."

"You are nothing more than a tool," Mona could barely speak, "to be discarded when your usefulness ends. Your protection will not last forever."

"Don't need forever," Jams said, his face almost entirely repaired. "I need the book."

"You will have to hunt for it yourself. Many have tried and failed."

"We will find it."

"We?"

Jams opened his mouth, and a host of winged insects poured forth.

Lawlimi reached the sealed passage which divided the catacombs from the sewers. It was circular and neatly bricked. The mortar looked fresh enough to have been laid a month ago.

"Is there a lever or something?" Lawlimi asked.

"No. It's all bricks. You've got to get through."

"I'm not strong enough."

"You brought ingredients for a solvent."

"I'm sorry," Lawlimi said, "all I know how to make is ZOMBIE VIAGRA!"

"I have what in-game terms would be described as High Celestial Lore. While I do not have the appendages to mix or prep tinctures, poultices, or other admixtures myself, I know every kind of tree, herb, and moss in Mythopoeia, as well as every beast and crystal and oil, so I know that the powdered agate you collected, along with the earthworm oil, can be mixed into a paste that will return bricks to their original clay state."

"Cheese and crackers," Lawlimi swore. "You can tell me all that?"

"My automated systems are limited in their responses by a player's Lore rating. My conscious systems normally abide by the same rules, but that has always been a matter of principle. Given that you are now on a quest to continue my existence, the server itself is about to be deactivated, and we will shortly be hunted by a cheating celestial, it seems reasonable enough to assist you in any way I can."

Lawlimi already had the ingredients out and he was mixing them on a scrap of leather with a small piece of bone. He had managed to snag most of a basic alchemical kit from the laboratory before fleeing, and he was making do. The agate dissolved quickly in the earthworm oil, creating a glistening, viscous liquid.

>>

Alchemical Discovery 1 — Achievement

You have spent long hours learning the ropes along with a few basic formulas, and through a mixture of luck and ingenuity, you have come across a new recipe for yourself without having to be taught. This signals a bright future for you in the Hidden Science.

(You gain 53 XP)

(Alchemical Discovery 2 — 25% Complete)

Earthworm Paste — Alchemical Recipe

Earth Level 1

A harmless, seemingly inert, paste that dries in minutes when exposed to air. A small amount applied to brick or concrete will instantly return the solid object to its semi-solid state. Work quickly, the affected area will dry as quickly as the paste.

>>

Lawlimi scooped some of the goop on his fingers and applied them to a brick two feet from the base. To his surprise, what he touched gave way as easily as butter. Moving hurriedly, Lawlimi used the paste to carve out a semicircle at the bottom of the barrier. The wall was only a single layer of brick, so he was almost able to separate the section. Then he lay on his back and started kicking with his feet together. He was immediately exhausted, and his kicks were ineffectual.

"You have more agate," I said.

"Yeah, I thought ..." he panted, "yeah. I should've bought the ticket. Being a ghost sucks."

"But now we are having all the fun."

As if to illustrate my point, there was another crash from higher up in the catacombs, and the buzz of insects on the wing.