Lair Action : Detect creatures in region

Small creatures 90

- Field Mouse 12

- Fish 10

…

Medium creatures 7

…

I leaned back in my chair in the library and flexed my cramped fingers. It was the day of the party and I still was only half done with the personal heaters. Most of my time I had been occupied messing around with the keeper pool powers. So far I had found out I could detect what was around the town, into the tree line, and down the river for about a mile in all directions. It was something I had absently been doing and checking every once in a while to keep tabs on things.

I also had the ability to influence the weather to a certain degree. When a rather harsh blizzard had blown through I was able to get the crystal to channel the power in the pool to lessen the storm around us. When we checked the next morning there were massive snow banks all around the forest, but a rather mild snowfall in my town.

While playing around with new powers was all fun and games, I was now in crunch time. I had my spellbook, the Igni textbook Rolada had shown me, and my own personal sketches for how to accomplish a goal I only knew a passing amount about. A tendril from the crystal had come out of the wall and I was using it to power the experiments.

“Can you give me a new clay pipe?” I asked Drone 2 beside me.

He shook in his chair, sounding like an unbalanced load in a washing machine, and spat out a perfectly formed twisted clay pipe. The pipe dried out in seconds and I slid aside my latest failure and tried again on this new one. My goal was to get a produce fire spell minautized, make it appear in the pipe, travel down the length of it and back into a reservoir.

“Merp?” Drone 2 asked, tapping one of the Ingi symbols on my notes, and then the book. “Turrrn?”

I picked up my notes and turned it upside down, finding the missing symbol I needed. I slapped my forehead and then dipped my quill into an ink pot. After laying down a quick row of text onto the pipe I put it into the clay box on the desk. The simple clay cube’s only features was a row of slots to direct the flow of heat it was supposed to produce, and a button to turn it on or off.

“Big f-fire?” Drone 2 asked, waving his hands over his head.

“No, just a little one,” I said. I wiped off a layer of clay dust and ink off my arms and tapped the on button. “It should make a nice warm-”

A torrent of flames spewed out of the slots, and Drone 2 screamed in terror as the flamethrower swept over his head. I slapped the button again and it turned off. Yet inside the clay box I heard something rattling and then the heater started to shake.

Drone 2’s arms shot out and he grabbed the whole thing and shoved it into his mouth. The heater vanished and a moment after there was a distant explosion. Smoke rose out of his ears and the minion blinked in confusion.

“I…think it needs more work,” I said.

Drone 2 tried to reply but when he opened his mouth a cloud of black smog rose to the ceiling followed by a thunderous belch. He jumped off his chair and went back to the pile of clay he had brought and started throwing chunks into his mouth to make me more parts.

It took another half hour but we were left with the newest prototype and when I turned it on we both crossed our fingers. The clay pipe inside glowed orange, and a wave of dry heat came out to warm us. When Drone 2 turned it back off the fire went into the lower proportion of the heater and dissipated.

New recipe added.

Magical Heater created +10 XP gained.

I unplugged the tendril from the back of the clay box and let go, watching it retreat back into the wall like the end of a tape measure being let loose. The whirring sound went into the wall and back to where the crystal now resided.

I held out a palm to my little work buddy, “good work?”

Drone 2 grinned madly and slapped my hand with as much force as he could. With the recipe added to the list he began assembling more, one for each member of the dungeon, and I left to go take a bath. As I approached the door to the library I waved my hand and the door opened on its own.

It was another helpful lair action, opening and closing doors. It had been quite useful when my arms were full but there had been a few occasions of a bored minion running around and opening doors for fun. It had led to him getting kicked upstairs by a rather annoyed demoness, and he hadn’t been near her since.

As I walked into the bathing room I felt someone grab me from behind, put me in a headlock and ruffle my shaggy hair. “Guess who?”

“Lin!” I protested, and tried to get out of her grip. After wiggling, squirming and like usually failing, I eased up. I ended up face first into her chest and my muffled voice was barely audible. “I’m still not telling you what I’m making.”

Lin let me go and pouted. She was already in her underwear, or more accurately the underwear that went with my cloak, and had a towel around her shoulders. A sheen of sweat was on her cheeks and stomach, telling me she had been working out yet again.

“Got another rank in unarmed yet?” Lin asked as she walked with me towards my personal bathing room.

I rolled my shoulders and stripped off my shirt, bundling it under my arm to hide the clay dust and ink. “Not yet, maybe you should ambush me with hugs and kisses instead?”

“Fat chance,” Lin said, sticking her tongue out at me. “I already got the bath ready.”

I opened the door and found the bath was already set, the side tub for clothes was already filled and Lin’s clothes were soaking. My tub was already filled with bubbles and an open bottle of wine was beside it.

“Why are you using mine?” I asked.

“Because if I use the women's bath I’ll end up eating chocolate till I'm sick again,” Lin said. “For being a wizard sometimes you're not the brightest.”

Lin walked ahead of me, swaying her hips and making a show of stripping down. As I tried to give her a playful spank on the rear I got slapped in the face by her swift tail and heard a splash.

Lin looked up at me and purred. “Come on Josh, no rough housing in the bath today, dinner is soon.”

The hot water was wonderful and eased up my tense back muscles after being hunched over for the last few hours. Lin and I passed the wine bottle back and forth while enjoying the hot water and company. She had picked out a nice mint scent this time and it cleared my nose of clay dust too.

“Clay?” Lin asked.

“I’m not saying Lin,” I said flatly.

“Hmm, magic?” Lin poked.

As Lin’s finger touched my chest and the cat girl let out a satisfying purr it was hard to hold my cards to my chest. I cracked a smile and Lin’s fluffy white triangles on her head shot up as she did a happy dance.

Lin had the biggest smirk in the world. “So it is magic based, and cla-”

“Not saying,” I said, and started to get up. “Thanks for drawing the bath Lin.”

Lin pouted but to save myself a later problem I washed our clothes while she soaked. The herbs in the water rubbed their scent onto our clothes and once everything was clean I used a few mana points to dry them off.

“I rather like having a wizard around, when I’m rich and famous I should get a butler with that spell,” Lin mused to herself.

“Fancy yourself a princess?” I teased.

A fistful of soapy bubbles made their way towards me but I dodged the half hearted assassination attempt. I waved goodbye to Lin and headed upstairs, meeting Sten at the top and shared a quick greeting. Sten barely seemed to register my presence, mumbling a greeting in his beard and made his way elsewhere, speaking in poetic verses.

I made my way to the mess hall and saw a flurry of activity in the kitchen half. Rolada conducted an orchestra of pots, pans and ovens, each one sizzling or letting out the sound of frying. Yet despite the chaotic mess in front of her she was able to manage every single one, and not a thing was burned. I felt bad for Rolada shouldering all the work for supper and went over to help.

Without missing a beat she pointed at a pot and said in a commanding tone. “Stir that, but not too swiftly. If you let the bottom burn I’ll smack you upside the head.”

I jumped in and started to stir, feeling a bit worried. “Is this a good speed?”

“Yeah it's- Josh!” Rolada exclaimed, she quickly apologized before getting a roast from the oven. “I’ve been so distracted I lost my manners.”

I saw Rolada’s hair and tail were frazzled and she looked stressed. I stirred like my life depended on it and used my free hand to give her a hug. Rolada took a brief moment to hug me back, take a light sniff of my clean shirt and went right back into cooking.

“Lin chose mint tonight I see,” Rolada said in a much more relaxed and playful tone.

“How did you-?” I asked, feeling completely lost.

“I didn’t, but now I do,” Rolada winked.

I tried my best to apply my limited knowledge of cooking, doing all the small tasks or fetching Roalda the needed ingredients. I found she had made the minions carve out a larder behind the kitchen to store all the herbs and spices we had picked up from Wyrmbreath. I only recognized salt and pepper, with all the others being from native flora here.

“Second shelf, on the far left,” Rolada said from the kitchen.

I picked up the little container of bright yellow and red powder and returned to the kitchen. She opened it up and put a healthy dose into the pot of stew she was making. The rather sharp scent of it was a hybrid of garlic and chilies to my palate, with a robust sea water scent undercutting it.

The cooking frenzy went on for several more minutes until most of the food was on the table with only the stew left. Rolada looked exhausted, and tied her hair up in a ponytail to keep the sweaty strands out of her eyes.

“Rolada, why don’t you take a bath, I’ll watch the stew,” I said, placing a hand on her back and moving her towards the door.

Rolada blinked and looked down at her clothes covered in sauce, sweat and grease. She gave me a tired thankful smile and hurried off to get cleaned up. I was left alone in the kitchen and I kept stirring the stew. While Rolada was a bundle of joy and fluffiness I wasn’t about to find out what her wrath would be if the stew was burned. After all, she did have a direct line to a goddess.

“J-Josh,” Drone 1 said, tugging at my sleeve. “Merp!”

The minions were assembled and each one held a sack in their arms filled with cubes. I motioned for them to hide the heaters in the larder, praying no one had seen them. As the wonderful scent of food wafted through the dungeon it summoned the denizens. People filed in one by one, sitting at their place at the table, cleaned up and looking expectantly at the food.

After everyone was seated I took a glance around and noticed something odd. The girls were in dresses, with Lin wearing the magical one from the Overseer. The guys had on a type of neck scarf with a pin in them, with Sten’s being far fancier with a hammer engraved on it. Even Sten’s beard was waxed, flattened and had ties at the end, with his hair being done up too.

“Man that feeling when everyone is at their best and the boss is in casual wear,” Burn snickered.

Everyone shared a low laugh and I waved it off. After getting confirmation from Rolada the stew was done I brought it to the table and took my seat. Before we cut into the roast Lin clasped her hands together and bowed her head, with the rest of us following suit after.

Lin spoke in a hushed whisper, “Heinekia please reign in your sister’s winter howl, and let us live in our little dungeon in peace. Josh really is a nice keeper and I think you should bless him for putting up with all of us. By your grand tits please shower us with your blessings.”

When Lin finished her prayer she clapped her hands and a chorus of claps echoed hers. With a goddess thanked,Lin and Yara crossed knives to decide who got the best cuts of meat.

“Hey, my goddess blessed the meal, back off priestess!” Lin shouted.

Yara pushed at Lin and the two of them shot up in their chairs. Yara grinned and leaned heavily into Lin, using her size and greater strength. “You didn’t even give me the chance, I could have prayed to Ishaka!”

“I wanted the goddess of nature to bless the bounty, not for the goddess of magic to make the fish do a strip tease!” Lin snapped back.

Perception skill : Success!

+2 XP gained.

While the two of them went at it I saw the sneaky hands of a goblin carve up the roast and put slices on other people's plates. I locked eyes with Burn and gave him a proud nod, motioning him to help himself. I grabbed myself a roll and sat back, grabbing a plate full of vegetables when I could get in without the fear of catching someone’s fork in my arm.

Conversation was light, as the mood in the room seemed to be to speed through dinner and move to the fun part. I spied in the corner of the mess hall a huge bundle of sacks and a pile with a blanket tossed over the top of it. Now I was starting to feel nosy like Lin and wondered what they were.

Dinner was short and sweet, and after a round of applause for Rolada’s efforts we cleared the table. I clapped my hands to get the room’s attention and stood up.

“Well I have to say it feels like a lovely evening is with us tonight. Firstly I want to say thank you to each and every one of you. Because if it wasn’t for you guys I would probably be dead by the hand of an angry baby deer that spits fire or something,” I said, trailing off.

“Aye lets skip the feelings and get to the fun stuff,” Sten shouted across the table.

“I know, I know. Let’s get rolling, show off what we brought and then I want to do something fun,” I said. “It's time we name the minions.”

The minions cheered and rocked in their chairs, tipping them over and crashing to the ground. Once they were sorted out I decided to go first and had them fetch the heaters. After everyone had one on the table in front of them I walked up to the wall and crouched. A tendril from the crystal popped out between the tiles and I stuck it into the clay cube, and turned it on.

“To keep our wood stocks in order I made this. While I agree a wood fire is awesome, this is like the next best thing, and you can carry it around with you to different rooms,” I said, brandishing the heater.

“Can I have more than one?” Rolada asked with her hand up.

I was caught off guard. “Well…you can take it to another room-”

“But I’ll forget. Can I have one for each room I’m usually in?” Rolada asked, giving me a pout and putting on her pleading face. “Like six more?”

I went to refuse but saw a work order appear for six more heaters, just for Rolada. I just shook my head and returned to the table to see each member of my team look at their heater with a smile.

“Hey I won’t freeze my ass off upstairs now,” Burn said. He then jumped up in his chair and ran off with Bent. “Our turn next!”

They returned with a crate and Burn started to set up some alchemical equipment. Once he had set up for an experiment he got out a stack of leaves and made room for Bent Plate to crack his knuckles and put the leaves into a press. After the ogre started to apply force the table violently shook, so he stopped, put it on the ground and continued to push down.

The dungeon is under attack!

A mighty creature threatens to break through the floor!

I rolled my eyes and dismissed the notice. It was good our mighty ogre could scare the crystal, meaning I had a way to spook it back into place if need be. Once Bent was done tenderizing the leaves, Burn took out a white clump of crumbly material left behind.

“Using the waste from the underground crops I can use this plant material as a base. With a bit of goblin alchemy and some scented soap I have created a new invention. Arm stick!” Burn announced, and lifted a fist size piece of wood high.

“Ogre strength and weight lifting champion approved,” Bent said, tapping the side of one of the other products.

On the side was a label of a goblin and ogre lifting weights over their heads. Bent started to empty the crate, showing off a healthy variety of choice. They passed around some samples and people took a sniff, complementing on the scents.

“What’s it for?” Lin asked, sticking her tongue out to lick it.

“For your armpits!” Bent said excitedly.

Lin gagged and held it out at arm's length. “Why didn’t you say something first?”

“They haven’t been used yet you goof. They are to keep body odour down when you're working out and it should help hide the scent of sweat,” Burn said.

Lin’s ears shot back up and she raised a finger. “I’ll take one for me, one for Rolada and five for Josh.”

I crossed my arms and looked at Burn across the table. He had been talking to me during the last few days about things I missed from back home, and of useful things he could make. I assumed in the next few days he would grace us with other new inventions like ‘shampoo’ and ‘conditioner’. I could call him out, but it didn’t matter, what mattered was we had something new to sell.

“I made things for everyone,” Rolada beamed and ran towards the pile. She returned with an arm load of scarves and handed them out. “I know it’s not fancy like a magic heat box, but I put everyone’s name on theirs.”

I held the long length of warm, black and red fabric in my hands. At the end she had stitched on white and red tassels, and I could almost swear she had put a cat and fox head over the tassels. My name Josh was embroidered and I wrapped it around my neck.

“At least I’m dressed up finally,” I said. “Thank you Roalda.”

I shared a quick hug with her and watched the others tie theirs around their necks. Yara fingered the tassels on hers, looking at the gift with worry. When Yara noticed I was watching her she shrugged.

“Sorry, didn’t bring anything,” Yara said.

“You saved my ass last week, that's more than enough so don’t worry about it,” I said. “Nice outfit by the way, it suits you.”

Yara looked down at her long one piece black dress and its gold threaded neckline. She brushed off the comment and sat back in her seat throwing the black scarf around her neck like a deva. I could tell at the corners of her mouth she was trying to fight back a smile.

“I have something less tangible than…arm stick,” Sten said, sniffing his. “Oh by my beard, did you get me one ale scented?”

“Got a whole line of alcohol ones for you buddy,” Burn said, snapping his fingers towards the dwarf. “Help me get the dwarves in Wyrmbreath on it and we can buy our own brewery in no time.”

After Sten gave his arm stick a taste test and quickly washed it down with a glass of wine, he pushed himself away from the table, and stood on his chair. The dwarf took out a page from his breast pocket and cleared his throat.

“Down by the river’s banks,

Is a wizard whose resolve is hard to shake.

With dancing fiends around his feet,

Who built brick houses to let all sleep.

A wayward cat and cunning fox, play games all day,

While the dwarf and goblin work in shops to pay.

The mighty ogre lifts the sky,

The demoness below keeps a watchful eye,

While our wizard friend rolls his die.”

A friendly wave of applause greeted Sten’s last line. The minions were extra enthusiastic at being included. That last phrase struck an odd chord with me. I really felt like I had been coasting on a spree of good luck as of late, and I worried what would happen when that ran out.

“Alright, time for big sister Lin to pass out your goodies,” Lin said. She straightened out her dress and picked up the first sack within reach. “I’m not fancy enough to make things, so I did what all rich family members do, buy things.”

“You begged me for drinking money last week,” Burn said.

“I’m rich because I spend money only on important things,” Lin said back as she tossed the first sack to Rolada. “Also because I steal all the time.”

“Lin!” Rolada’s tail stuck up.

“I didn’t steal from you Roalda, or anyone else here, relax,” Lin scolded.

Rolada’s gift was a pair of soft bright pink pyjamas, which Rolada immediately rubbed her face into. Sten opened his to find a brand new set of combs and started to brush his waxed beard into new shapes. Burn got a Tired Lad brand ‘my first alchemy set’ and greedily tore it open, pocketing certain materials. Bent Plate got a new tailor made work out shirt and he high fived Lin, the force knocking dust off the ceiling.

“Where did you get his stuff?” Yara asked hesitantly.

“Ordered it with the last shipment from Rodney,” Lin said.

Yara gingerly opened her present, tearing off a healthy amount of packing paper. A stubby, seafoam green, glass bottle was freed and Yara was shocked. “Southern Malkans Scotch, my favourite.”

“Hard to source this far north, but leave it to big sis,” Lin said. She then took out a heavier and larger bundle. “Now for our wizard that keeps trying to get himself killed.”

I put the bundle on the table and tore open the packing paper. The first thing I freed was a simple looking steel sword and I hefted the weapon feeling a comfortable amount of weight. It was about the same size as my last sword and I felt Yara hover over my shoulder.

“An archer’s sword, simple but a reliable sidearm,” Yara said, and she picked it up to check it against my arm. “Good length for him too.”

“A replacement till we find him a better one, but that’s not the real gift,” Lin said slyly, poking the paper in front of me.

I tore off the last few layers and it was my turn to be shocked. In bright blinding white was the set of white dragon scale armour, however instead of looking worn and abandoned it now looked brand new. I narrowed my eyes and reached out to touch the cold armour. I saw an interwoven tight layer of magic between the scales and a pop up appeared.

White Dragon Scale Armour

Rare Armour

This magically enchanted armour greatly reduces the damage from cold damage spells and makes the wearer impervious to low rank cold auras and cold weather. The enchantments in this armour reduces the damage dealt by physical weapons, but can be overcome by rare tier magical weapons.

“Was this the one in Rodney’s shop?” I asked.

“Yup, even got Rodney to re-enchant it back to full,” Lin smiled. “Got it for a good price too.”

I downed the rest of my wine to steady my nerves. I didn’t detect anything off, but I wouldn’t even know where to look first. Still, the nice weight of the armour would give me confidence that the next skeleton who tried to run headlong into me wouldn’t even scratch me.

“Thanks Lin,” I said, and pulled the kitty into a tight hug. “Can I wear this while we spar-”

“Nope,” Lin whispered into my ear. “I like kicking your butt too much.”

“Merp!” Drone 1 shouted, flailing his arms into the arms. “Na-me!”

The minions started to bounce and chant in sync. “Name, name, name.”

I held out my hands and tried to calm them down. “Okay guys, line up and we can start-”

I barely even got the words out of my mouth and the minions were already in an orderly line, with Drone 1 being at the front. The minion stepped forward and shook with barely contained energy.

I crouched down to be on their level and held out a hand. “What would you like to be called?”

It was an easy question, I figured I’d ask the minions first, and then ask the others for help if they couldn’t come up with something. My hope was the minions could have a name they could repeat.

“Dan,” Drone 1 said.

I froze up, as memories of a world away flashed through my mind. It would be ironic wouldn’t it, leaving my old life behind and now being in charge of my old bosses namesake. A life I had been stuck in for years, until a literal god had shaken things up. Yet it was kind of childish to think such things.

“Are you sure?” I asked.

“Dan,” Drone 1 confirmed. “I Dan!”

“Dan, Dan, Dan,” the minions chanted.

“Okay, you are Dan,” I said, and patted Dan on the head.

Drone 1 is now called Dan.

With that out of the way Dan ran to the side and made way for Drone 2, our resident mason. Drone 2 was instrumental in the recent upgrades to the dungeon and helped me create the personal heaters.

“I…Mason,” Drone 2 said.

“Yes you're a mason, but that's like a job name,” I said. “I mean, I did have a friend called Mason before.”

“Mason,” Drone 2 said again, holding up his hammer. “I Mason.”

“Mason, Mason, Mason,” the minions echoed.

“Alright fine, your Mason,” I said, and patted Mason on the head.

Drone 2 is now called Mason.

Drone 3 was next, and from his tool belt I could see he had made himself into a carpenter. In fact a glance at his character information told me he was a carpenter.

“Car-pen-t-”

“You can’t be called carpenter,” I said, cutting him off.

He tapped his chin and tried to think, “Je-s-”

“I don’t like where this is going,” I said, thinking of a certain famous carpenter back home. “Let’s not tick off one of the big guys.”

“Car-ter,” Drone 3 struggled to say. “Carter.”

“Glad to have you, Carter,” I said, rubbing his head.

Drone 3 is now called Carter.

Drone 4 and 5 walked up together. I hadn’t had a chance to really talk to them since I summoned them during the hectic days as of late. I could see one had a garden trowel and overalls while the other had a miniature pickaxe and hammer on his belt.

I shook both their hands. “Glad to have you two, sorry I haven’t chatted much. I’d like to thank you both for helping the dungeon run smoothly.”

The minions gave me a toothy smile and nervously tapped their claws together. Drone 4 looked at me with his big red eyes and stepped forward to speak first. A quick check did tell me he was a farmer, while Drone 5 was a miner.

“Fr-ank, Frank,” Drone 4 said.

“Farmer Frank, glad to have you,” I said, and gave him a fist bump.

Drone 4 is now called Frank.

“Mike!” Drone 5 exclaimed, and slammed a crude mining helmet on his head. “Me dwarf.”

I chuckled and gave him a high five. “You can be Mike, but I don’t think I can make you a dwarf.

Drone 5 is now called Mike.

While Mike was happy with his new name he seemed sad I couldn’t magically turn him into a dwarf. The minions made way for Scout 1 and he came up next holding his battered hat in his hands.

“Scott,” Scout 1 said nervously. “Scott t-the sc-out.”

“Sure thing buddy, you have been with us a while so Scott is all yours,” I said.

Scout 1, now Scott, hugged me and made a cat-like purr. He broke the hug with his fuzzy tail swinging behind him and put his hat back on.

Scout 1 is now called Scott.

Guard 1 was the last one and he held the little clay fox piece in his hand. “I Ro-la-”

“You can’t be Rolada buddy,” I said with a barely contained grin.

I took a glance at his character sheet to see interestingly enough his class was guardian. Guard 1 sat down on his rump and took out a bundle of scrap paper with drawings on them. There were all manner of strange fantastical sketches, and while they were child-like I could make out most of them, minotaurs, slimes and dragons.

I looked at the dragon and a thought dawned on me. “What about George, like St. George who slew the dragon?”

“Ge-orge,” Guard 1 mumbled. “George. I George.

I patted him on the head and agreed. “George it is.”

Guard 1 is now called George.

“Let’s celebrate, everyone grab a drink and toast our new named lads,” Sten said, raising his mug.

It was going to be a long night of drinking after all.