Kevin was the first one to start walking over that way. He seemed quite excited to being putting the horses up and going in. And it was getting cold outside. It hadn’t been this cold yet while we were out here. In fact, it was never this cold inside the city. Guess the big bubble also worked climate control magic.

We led the horses into the barn from a small side door that a woman was standing near. She was wearing brown trousers that looked like they were made of a soft leather and had an unsheathed sword hanging at her hip tied by a strip of a leather to a similar looking belt. Were women like her why Dan thought it was strange that I couldn’t use a sword? A matching leather vest was tightly laced over an undyed cream colored woven blouse. The sun caught on strands of bright platinum blonde hair pulled back into a pony tail like some of the middle caste women used to wear in the city.

Right about when I was almost out of sight I saw Dan walk up to her and wrap his arms around her hold her for a second, and then he leaned back a little and kissed her in public. This was such a strange place.

I wished someone cared for me like that. I remembered Bryan holding me and how much I had been afraid of his very touch. But he hadn’t loved me. He cared for me yes, but that was because he cared about people in general. I remembered how he had spoken of my sister, and suddenly I realized the truth.

I realized I was staring and ducked my head leading the giant Kingston into an open stall. He made the stall look small. I closed the door and then stared at him. How did I get his tack off? It was tickling my memory, but I couldn’t quite remember. I looked out the door and realized that the guys had their stuff in a pile outside their stall already. I would figure this out myself. I didn’t need their help.

I stared at Kingston again and he sat there just mellow and looking at me waiting for me to decide what to do. Thank God he was such a patient creature. I decide to start with the packs and saddle. That was the easy part. I unclipped the balancing strap that helped balance the load, the harness that went over the butt and around it to keep the saddle and weight from shifting forward and the harness on the chest that kept the weight from shifting back. I undid two buckles that connected the strap around the belly, the girth, to the saddle, and then I dragged the saddle and its straps and packages off the back of my horse. He looked at me as if rebuking me, but I had gotten the saddle off and that’s what mattered.

I dragged the stupid saddle and all its’ gear to the front of the stall and dumped it in a heap. Now time for the head stuff, or the bridle as my memory supplied. Why was it that I could remember the name but not how to take it off?

I just started undoing straps until I had enough of it unbuckled to pull the bridle off the head. As soon as all his gear was off Kingston ambled over to the water trough and drank thirstily from it. He seemed to be enjoying not having rationed water anymore.

I grabbed my water bag from the pile of outside his door and gulped down what was left. No need to conserve water anymore.

He looked so content as he swished his head around in the bucket that I couldn't help smiling, and I left him to drink his water in peace. I took the bridle out and dumped it in the pile with the saddle. I realized that both the guy’s piles had disappeared. Where had they taken them? I looked around but I couldn’t see anyone.

The blonde girl that had been at the door of the barn walked in. “Hi, I’m Sandy. Dan told me he met ya in da woods.” She looked at the pile of tack and smiled in a happy and carefree manner, “Need help with that? Ye man Rod told me ya didn’t actually know much ’bout ’em horses ya have. Now there’s an interesting lookin man. What with his curious white looks and pale almost colorless blue eyes… Do ya know if he has trouble seein in da day cause of that? Just curious.”

Boy could she talk, but I hadn’t ever wondered if he had trouble seeing. Now I felt bad for never wondering if the sun hurt his lovely pale eyes. And she was calling him Rod. I normally didn’t give people nicknames unless they introduced themselves with the nickname. Rod, I liked it.

“Ya there Liv?” She was waving a hand in front of my face.

“Oh, yeah. I could use help. Just really tired. We've been riding for a while,” I felt my face heating up in embarrassment that I had ignored her.

“Mmmm, you were thinking about that yummy man of yours weren’t ya?” I was surprised she didn’t think Kevin was cute, but then again ‘Rod’ was the different looking one.

“He’s not my man.” And he wasn’t. I didn’t have a man. I mean, technically we were dating, but not really? But that didn't make him mine.

“Coulda fooled me. That look in his eyes… mmm. Such a yummy look. If he’s not ye man, mind if I dona try for him meself?” Her smile was still there but I thought I saw something of the predator in it and suddenly my heart sped up slightly.

“No!” I forced myself to calm down. Rod, God I loved that nickname she had given him, was able to take care of himself, and he wasn’t my man. I needed to be reasonable, “I mean, aren’t you with Dan?”

She shrugged. “For now I am. Nothings permanent round here. A woman goes to da man she wants and shares her body with him went she wants his child, and when she tires of him or he mistreats her she leaves him for a better man. She chooses to keep or leave da child with da man. I’m with Dan now, but notin bout later.” She patted her stomach, “And he hasna put no child in here yet. My last child I left with da man, and Dan himself was raised by his papa. He would understand if I moved on cause his seed failed. Of course, ya brother… he’s pretty cute too, n’ he carries his weapons like he knows ’ow ta fight…”

I shuddered. I couldn’t imagine moving from man to man. I wanted to find a man I loved and stay with him. “Don’t you ever feel a need for the security and love of staying with one man? Having his protection and love for the rest of your life?”

Again she shrugged, “Not right now. Maybe later. Some women settle early and stay with a man, but whats da fun in that? Nah, I wanna keep trying out men while I’m young and pretty, and then, when I’m old I might look for a man to settle in with.”

What a strange way to live. It was like they were selling themselves except they chose who bought them and for how long. In the city any woman who lived like that carried dishonor for letting multiple men use her. Only lower caste women would sell themselves. And fully dishonored women had no choice in the matter, but it was considered digesting and low.

And Rod was so innocent. Kevin on the other hand… I knew for a fact he had used those women before. Kevin would sadly probably enjoy her type of woman. Of course, he did have that girl back in the city he had been planning on marrying, but that was probably just politics. And Sandy was his type with her bright blonde hair and bubbling personality.

“Whatcha do to ya tack? Just take every buckle ’part or somtin?”

I looked at the pile of leather she was holding up and shrugged, “I knew it had to come off so I just started undoing buckles.”

She sighed, shook her head and threw it to the side. “Ima goin to start with da saddle. I’ll get thata beast later."

She unclipped one pack and threw it at me, and then another, and another till I had them stacked up in my arms. “Now, ya go take all that stuff to da main house. Its da house in da center. I’ll sort out da rest of this, and hang it up for ya, but tomorrow ya and I are goin to learn how to work with ya horse.”

I nodded about to tell her thank you, but it felt like a rasp was taken to my lungs, and a fit of coughing hit me.

“Mighta also ask for some hot water ta ease ya throat. Sounds like ya got yaself a cold.”

A cold? I guess this was part of the trouble with leaving the city. No one in the city got sick anymore. It was one of the nice things about the city, sickness was wiped out. As a child we were often reminded about the good things the city did, like wiping out sickness, which none of us understood at the time.

“Thanks. I’ll do that.” But it wasn’t my throat that hurt. It was my chest that ached.

She nodded as if to herself and then frowned at my gear and started pulling out pieces of leather here and there muttering something about ignorant people, but I couldn’t make out the rest of it.

I turned away to leave, and right as I was almost at the door she called out, "Oh, and a warnin' to ya, der is a festival in da main house tonight. It's da pre-harvest celebration in hopes of a good harvest!" She laughed as she said this.

Why would she need to warn me about a festival? I shrugged and exited through the door I had entered from. The sun was gone but it was that state where it wasn't quite dark yet.

I hurried over to the central house and knocked while carefully holding my packages. A red haired woman opened the door and dragged me in shutting the door behind me. The dim room was packed with people dancing and eating and singing. A festival. I didn't have the energy to face this.

A fire was lit in an alcove on one of the walls warming the room just as the bodies of people warmed it. There were couches along the walls of the room for people to sit.

The woman grabbed my hand and I looked back at her smiling and happy face, “Come with me. I will show ya ye room.” She laughed and pulled me around the outside of the crowd. In the mix I could see Kevin dancing with a dark haired girl as if he was a natural at their energetic and high stepping dancing. Of course, Kevin was a natural at dancing so why not their style of dancing?

Off to the side I could see Rod sitting on a couch looking uncomfortable surrounded by giggling girls. I would have to save him later from his flock of giggling girls.

As we went I could see two girls kissing in the corner. I had never seen two girls kiss before. I dragged for a second staring at them, and then hurried along with the woman leading the way.

We came to a door and she pulled me in and shut the door. “This will be ya room. The bed isna much, but itsa place to lay ya head. Put ya stuff down and lets get ya dressed for da party!”

I was expected to attend this party? I started laughing and found that the laughter seemed to spin my brain above the exhaustion.

The laughter bubbled out of me as all the days of worry over dying out in the waste lands fell tumbled out of my mouth and were lost on the floor of the room. I set my pouches down and smiled. The joy of laughing lingered in my belly and it felt good. I hadn’t felt this good in years.

Suddenly the other woman was there, kissing me on the mouth, and I was surprised by it. She pulled back and asked, “Do ya no like girls, or do ya? I saw ya starring at Eva and Liz. They like men and women. Women for fun and men for putting children in ya belly.” She proudly patted her own belly. “I got meself a child no more than a week ago.”

She looked so happy to be with child and I couldn’t help but wonder what this cultures fascination with children was. I hadn’t seen any children in the room, but maybe they were all already asleep. “Where are all the children?”

Suddenly her joy became a look of sorrow, “So many die while birthing, or the child dies soon after, and ’em that survive go to bed early before festivals. None of mine have survived yet. If dis one don’t… I might no put another in me.”

Such a hard life, but better this than a dishonored life. There was joy and happiness in these people, and they worked for themselves not another person. They weren’t beaten when they didn’t work hard enough.

She kissed me again but this time on the cheek. “No more talk of sorrow. Only joy at night. Lets dress ya for ya pale man that waits outside for ya.”

She pulled at my jacket and I pulled it off. She spun me around and loosened the laces and unclasped the collar, so I quickly pulled the corset and collar off. I pulled off the boots and the leather pants as she was holding dresses up to me and whisking them away. Finally she chose a navy blue Grecian style dress. I was surprised these people would have a dress in this style, but they all seemed to have one nice dress.

“Every woman must have a dress. This one is ya’s now. Ya wear it for da festivals. It was a simple dress so she just pulled it over my head and I was ready to go, but she wasn’t ready to let me. She pulled me to the side of the room and put some heavy make-up on my face, muttering things to herself as she worked. She finished, and pulled a brush through my hair.

“If ya need me, ask for Fire. Ya’ll have to get yaself ready from now on though for da rest of da festivals. Now ta party!” She laughed and danced out of the room sucking all the joy out with her. I took a deep breath and went to the door. I pulled it open and forced myself out into the merry crowd. The youngest of which was maybe twelve or thirteen. I had to push and slip through opening to make my way over to where I had last seen Roderick, or Rod as I preferred what Sandy had called him. It fit him so well.

For a second Fire was in front of me and she winked and kissed me quickly on the lips before being whisked off by her laughing partner. This was such a strange place.

Finally I saw Rod, but he wasn’t sitting anymore. He looked slightly scared as he was being swung around from one girl to another in their high stepping dances, and he clearly had no clue what he was doing unlike the other men bouncing around on the floor constantly changing partners. I got myself close to him, and as he was swung by I grabbed him and extricated him from the mass of dancing people and pulled him back over to the couch with him holding on to me tightly even as another girl tried to pull him back into the dance, but I tugged him away.

We got over there, and he sat down before I did. As soon as I was sitting he leaned against me and held me tightly. “Hold me.” He growled into my ear while pretending to lean on me.

I wrapped my own arms around him and then asked, “Why?”

“Because to keep these crazy women off of me I might have told them that I was your guy. And you just acted like a jealous woman in their eyes.”

A jealous woman, me? I started to pull away but he clung to me tighter, “No, please don’t. I’m grateful. I’m glad you came in and saved me. I didn’t want to be clung to and to give them children as they keep talking about.”

I looked around and I could see a couple of the girls were still focused at us, glaring at me, and I suddenly had an idea. I pulled back just enough to kiss him on the lips. He stiffened obviously surprised and unresponsive. I pulled back and glared at him, but this time it was him who initiated the kiss. When we pulled apart I looked around and none of the girls looked interested anymore. I caught Fire’s eye and she winked at me. I could see Sandy dancing with Kevin and not even glancing our way.

And Rod pulled me back to face him and kissed me again. I liked his touch and I liked kissing him even better. It was just days ago when I was rejected. What was wrong with me? Was it this festival thing making me go crazy? Maybe it was. Maybe it was relief of leaving the wastes. Whatever it was I didn't care. I let it embrace my mind.

An idea flittered across my mind, and after our kiss finished I leaned a little more till my lips were brushing his ear. “Let’s take this to my bedroom where there aren’t as many prying eyes.” A place where he was safe from all these village women.

He nodded unable to say anything that would be heard over the noise of this place. He held onto me as I made my way back through the crowds and back to the quieter room. I pulled him in and shut and locked the door. We could still here the noise, but it wasn’t as loud.

“That’s better.” I smiled at him, but he wasn’t smiling. I reached my hand out till it was touching his face, and suddenly he was holding my hand against his face.

“Did you… Were those kisses real or for show? I mean… knowing you I was surprised. I don’t know what they did to you when you were dishonored. For all I know… I mean you said you weren't quite ready.”

I shook my head trying to tell him no, but he seemed so frantic so I just leaned forward and kissed him which quickly shut him up.

I was crazy. I shouldn't be doing this. I was using him.

The itch in my chest suddenly made itself know and I turned away to cough into my hand. The coughs tore at my chest and hurt. I turned back and realized that Rod looked worried.

“What’s wrong?”

It’s just a minor cold. That’s to be expected after living in the isolated city.” But that didn’t seem to make him less worried.

“That’s the problem… our immune systems. There are diseases out here and our immune systems aren’t as strong as these people who have dealt with sickness their whole life. We are as likely to die as any of their children!” He started pacing obviously agitated.

I grabbed him and pulled him close to me, “We’ve survived this much. Hell, you survived a gaggle of girls tonight. I think we can survive any nasty little cold.”

He frowned down at me with worry, “Elizabeth, this isn’t something we can beat with stubborn pride. It takes medicine, and all that’s left of that is back at the wall. I hadn't even thought about the diseases that used to exist before we retreated into the Wall.”

“Well, if I get deadly sick I will ride back to the wall and get medicine to get better and be a hero to the city for finding this place of safety beyond the wall."

He shook his head, “No Elizabeth, anyone not on the radiation medicine would get radiation poisoning or something from that much radiation exposure. I wouldn’t let you go back there unless you are about to die.” He fingers were gently combing my shoulder length honey blonde hair. “I like your hair this length.”

I couldn’t help but laugh, which led into another coughing fit. He was there with his hand on my back. I looked at him and his face was lined with worry.

“Don’t worry Rod. I’ll be fine.”

He started to shake his head and then he realized what I had called him, “Rod? Where did you hear that from?”

“From Sandy. I don’t know. I kind of like it. It fits you, ya know…”

He laughed, his deep voice rumbling against me.

"So why did we come in here?" He asked.

"To be free of the craziness out there. I'm tired and I'm am fairly certain Fire who dragged me out to the party won't complain if I avoid the festival with you." It was so strange being close. He'd sat next to me and sometimes had reached out to touch me, but we'd never just stood like this before.

"Well if this is an acceptable excuse to escape their weird celebration I don't mind.In fact-" He yawned mid sentence, " Can we just lie down on that bed and take a nap.

The strange energy that had filled me when I went out into the main hall was draining away leaving me an exhausted shell. A nap sounded wonderful.

It felt strange to lay down on a bed next to Roderick, and again my thoughts drifted back to my strange night with the guard Bryan. That night seemed like a lifetime ago.