[You have Killed a Body Refinement(High) Monster |Experience Points +2000|]

Its head fell to the ground. I released my Umbra Hands and I directly grabbed the body of the monster with my claws, then brought it up the tree after making sure there was no other monster nearby.

I'm becoming a monster more and more every day. Not in the psychological sense, as in heartless and bloodthirsty. Just a monster or animal in the very practical sense of the word devoid of any psychological implications.

I'm part of a food chain, I kill and eat what I kill, raw.

I catch myself turning more bitter, cynical, and cold with each monster I kill.

Every life I take, I feel responsible for and that weight is heavy. I see my mind running, like a man holding a ticking bomb, desperately looking for a place to throw it. I'm the same, due to the guilt of killing I start looking for ideas for my guilt to take shelter in.

I don't care, it's do or die!

The strong prey on the weak, so I'm strong I will devour everything that is weak.

The law of the jungle.

It's either them or me. I prefer me.

I have no other choice.

This is a different world, I must either adapt or become a monster's dump.

All of these reasons and ideas hold some sort of truth to them. However, this isn't what I'm concerned about.

Can we accept a fact, without turning bitter? Can I accept all of these facts as just that, facts? Without seeking any form of security in them?

An example would be when you need to do something that you hate you can either accept it as inevitable, or you can keep complaining and cursing your luck throughout the whole deal. Other than the extra suffering you have inflicted upon yourself, it would also change you. Not a big noticeable change, but a subtle one that will accumulate through time.

Because I see the danger of it. Very, very clearly! When my mind takes that route, I start to feel like I'm slowly dying inside. Becoming a true monster in the full psychological sense of the word.

I get afraid and guilty and I hate myself. So, I react according to that fear which only makes it more and more twisted.

I don't give a fuckkk, If they dare touch me I will kill them. This world is cold and heartless, the moment I show weakness I will be swallowed.

A saying by Seneca comes to mind that I've heard in my previous life. "All cruelty springs from weakness."

I think I understand what he meant by it. For instance, If I was weak to the point that I was unable to just face those cold hard facts directly without hiding behind any ideas, I would without a doubt change. A change that is twisted, ugly but most of all a change that is brought about by tremendous fear and thus dangerous.

People who are afraid do crazy unimaginable things! Well, what if there is a fear hidden dormant beneath all of our problems, deep in the darkest coldest places of our minds. A fear that is so strong that it becomes twisted, I would be able to kill people without batting an eye.

I will become a bringer of destruction into the world, and everyone I come across would suffer. If not physically, then psychologically.

Maybe someone will try to humiliate me in a way, due to my fear I will lose my shit, I will be triggered by their words. Because deep down I agree with them. That fear that was always hidden and dormant will awaken, and I will do unimaginable things. I might kill them just for a word.

However, if I just accept these facts as simply absolute and just how the way things are. I won't have any fear to hide, even if I have it I will be able to simply see it and try to grow above it.

So, in my previous example when someone comes along to humiliate me. How will I react? I will simply see that their act of humiliation is merely a reflection of themselves, a reflection of their fear and weakness that is trying to find any semblance of power over others.

Because to be clear. We only seek what we don't have, just like how someone who's thirsty longs for water, how a hungry man longs for food.

And most importantly, how a weak man seeks power over others.

It is now very clear to me that there is a difference between outward and inward strength.

There might be people in this world who can turn on seas, split mountains and cleave the skies in half. But, all you have to do is insult them and you will see the scared and fearful person within.

This is my path in this world, to find out the truth. Not some divine truth or something, just the truth about something. I want to be the strongest I could be, in terms of outward magical and physical prowess, and most importantly mental.

I don’t want to live just for survival, and to satisfy my sick emotional desires. I want a life of passion, honor, and something beyond.

Whether there exists something beyond these animal instincts is relevant for now, I will find out.

To do so I need Absolute strength in every goddamn aspect there is!

-Ding!

``

[Title Unlocked: {Dauntless Spirit}]

Dauntless Spirit: Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love.

Spiritual Resistance +50%

+50% Spirit

All Spirit-related abilities are greatly enhanced.

New Skill Unlocked:

[Piercing Gaze(Active): The user is able to launch a spiritual attack that affects the mental state of the target. Cost(50SP) |Beginner|]

``

Looking at the new title rewards and information, I smiled.

Then, I felt a strange power surging from the depths of my mind, spreading all over my body like a gentle breeze.

I felt my mind becoming clearer, and my senses turning sharper and more sensitive.

Closing my eyes, I could feel the delicate and minute movements of a Praying Mantis on a tree branch more than 200 meters away from me.

Two squirrel-like animals mating, Shit I didn't want to see that.

Regardless.

All good things come to those who wait, huh? That is exactly the type of strength enhancement I needed currently.

+50% Spiritual Resistance plus my Firm Stand passive then it becomes a big +100%.

+50% Spirit is even more overpowered, coupled with my Blazing Heart title the total is a shocking +200% Spirit.

The third line is a bit vague because it doesn't mention any numbers. However, I'm sure there is a qualitative change to my Spiritual attacks.

The new skill is also a godsend. It's able to offer my combat techniques a lot more versatility.

In my previous fights, I noticed how everything happens so quickly. For a battle to last while there needs to be a lot of similarities between both parties. Strength, Magic, Spirit, Combat experience, Reaction speed, trump cards, etc ...

Piercing Gaze affects the mental state of the target, I think it'd put them in emotional and mental states in which their judgment becomes more clouded maybe it's fear, confusion, shock, etc...

I'm starting to have a bit of faith in myself and my abilities.

I need it, otherwise, if I don't have faith in my power, the moment something goes wrong I'll freak out, start messing around, and eventually get killed.

In this world, low self-esteem means death. However, you can't expect years of torture to be healed overnight.

I opened my Status Window to see my recent changes.

[~Status Window~

Host: Zed - Umbra Storm Eagle.

Titles: {Blazing Heart}, {Truth Seeker}, {Dauntless Spirit}

Level: 16

Experience Points(Exp): 7250/16000

Rank: Body Refinement(Low)

Health Points(HP): 171/171

Magic Power(MP/Mana): 231/231

Spiritual Power(SP): 254/254

Magical Resistance: 21(10)

Physical Resistance: 16(8)

Spiritual Resistance: 25(25)

Vitality: 32(48)

Strength: 31(46)

Stamina: 33(49)

Intelligence: 42(63)

Agility: 49(73), Dark: +14, Nearby Enemy: +12, Sky Dash: +14.

Spirit: 41(82)

Available Stat Points: 0

Available Skill Points: 0

Karma Points: 50

[Skills]

[Quests]

[Shop]

[Map(Locked)]

[Party(Locked)]

]

My Stats coupled with my various skills would enable me to fight on par with Peak Body Refinement Monsters. Those are my targets currently, I need to level up!

I started eating the panther-like monster, it was very beautiful. It was exactly like a black panther, but it had purple eyes and small horns protruding from the side of its head, and a spear-like tail that looked especially sharp!

Originally, I planned to eat the panther and continue exploring. However, due to my sudden increase in power, and the feeling I got. I just felt as if I won't be completely rational in my judgment, in simple words, I feel very cocky right now. Returning to the nest to rest and calm down both physically in mentally seems like the most sensible choice at the moment.

It didn't take a long while for me to return, I knew my way back plus the increase in my Spirit helped me navigate my way back safely.

The Mama bird had her eyes closed, cultivating. Kali seems to be sleeping, due to the nature of my species and skills my flight was soundless. I didn't bother anybody and just sat down to cultivate.

I need to prepare for tomorrow!