《Fighting to be Kind in a Cultivation World》Chapter 80 - Cheap Words
Advertisement
My eyes roam the walls of the room, from floor to ceiling. The curvature and sharp cuts of the room show the surprising finesse that Gong and her spiders took with hollowing out the room.
Or maybe this was the work of her friend… the one who was ‘taken’?
As this thought drifts through my mind, my eyes land back on Ai, who is seemingly waiting for me to speak further, while appearing as if she isn’t.
“I used to work for a tech company, one that focused on making some kind of software item for other tech companies. All I basically did for them was shuffle papers or information from one area, to another area. Sounds simple, but it involved so many aspects. It paid enough for me to survive, but not much else.
“Every single day, I would pass by this kid hanging out on the street. Clearly homeless. Definitely in a bad state. On a whim, I brought him something every day. Maybe a sandwich or a few dollars. Nothing much. Just something to start a conversation.
I shake my head at the memory.
“I’m not even sure of why I started doing it. I think it was just… I don’t know. He reminded me of one of my cousins when I was younger. If I could be considered poor, in the sense that we ate some form of soup every day, well my cousin was the type of poor that literally ate trash food, if he was lucky.
“I couldn’t see this kid go through that as well. Even if it cost me a little more, I didn’t mind at all.
“Every day, he thanked me, and smile a little brighter… it was nice. We’d hang out for a tiny bit and just threw verbal jabs at each other, enjoying each other’s company. We’d chill, drink some sodas, and just enjoy the small amount of time we had together. After a while, we really built a pretty good rapport with each other.”
I can feel my face tighten again.
“One day, while me and a coworker were walking back to our cars from a nearby bar from a company outing, I heard a really familiar voice demand money from behind us. As we got out our stuff to give him, all I could hear was, ‘fuck. Fuck! Get out of here! Just go get out of here. Keep your shit! Get the fuck out of here!’ before pushing us away. The other guy and I sprinted to our cars and rushed out of there.
“But I knew exactly who that robber was. And I didn’t see him at his usual spot since then.”
It’s always felt like I’ve helped a little, but never enough.
From that story to the next, I just spoke to the wind. Airing out things I’ve gone through in life. From losing friends in college, to my first relationship, to my frustrations in not being able to connect deeper with her, and ultimately, us breaking up.
Ai stays silent through it all. It’s not until I bring up a certain subject that she speaks.
I continue with saying, “… I miss my mom. I miss how she used to laugh with my father and with the little we had, make soup together with the family. I wish I could go back to the times after college, when I would come back to visit, and there would be a radiant smile on her face. ‘My children are back yet again, Hun. I guess, there’s nothing here but food for them.’ As she says that, she would cook enormous meals and make sure me and my sister left with full bellies.
Advertisement
My lip curls in as I stare at the ceiling, feeling my eyes tearing up.
“I-I couldn’t look into her casket, when she died. I didn’t want to see what they had turned her into. She was killed in some kind of freak car accident, after a church group session. While we stood there, I’ll never forget how dad looked. His face was like the world had ended. They were already old, by the time she passed, but that didn’t matter to us. Not even the slightest. We just… wanted her back.
“Dad didn’t last long after that. There really wasn’t anything left for him with her gone. It was pretty much just us left.”
I feel a sad chuckle escape me. “Well… he wasn’t the only one. When he left, I didn’t know what to do with myself. It was just day in and day out, at the office. A dull, grey life. Mom was always telling me ‘You Can be better.’ Just slow down. Don’t be so impulsive. Be more careful about who you trust. But, don’t give up trying to help people, even if it’s uncomfortable.”
My head shakes almost unconsciously.
“I definitely took her first batches of advice, but stopped the last bit. I just wasn’t worth it. ‘Why should I help other people, when they are going to leave you, anyway?’ Eventually, I managed to find myself again, thanks to my sister, Tammy…
“It was hard… so hard. Difficult, painful even, to just breath. Exist. But I did it. We did it…
“… And then I found myself here, a few months later. Ha. Yay for me, eh? Definitely the best place to go. 10 out of 10 stars.”
My teeth are gritted, but I feel my neck relax and I can’t stop myself from crying. I turn away from Ai.
“I-I don’t know why I’m saying all this. You don’t want to hear this stuff from some privileged guy. I haven’t been through nearly the sam…”
“… We used to be happy, you know?”
Ai’s voice, soft, low, but sharp, cuts through my words.
I stop moving, breathing. Practically in shock.
I’ve talked for so long that it felt like I was trying to fill the space with my words. Hearing her is like waking up from a dream, from a darkness.
She continues past my thoughts.
“We didn’t eat every day. Maybe a bug, a rat, or if we were lucky, the scraps from one of the main shops’ kitchens. Even so… it was different when we were younger.
“Lin probably doesn’t think I remember, but I remember when he was kind. Cool. And most importantly…”
She pauses for a moment. I turn back toward her, seeing that her face quickly turns back into her knees. Still continuing with her words.
“… he loved mom. He loved her so very much. With her silvery hair and glowing smile, how couldn’t we all? Living in an area on the outskirts of a city, we somehow found a way to be happy. Even with an empty belly, we always ran back home after collecting scraps, just to see that smile of hers. Her praise for our hard work. The four of us, huddled around a fire. Sharing stories. D… Rong was so proud of her. He’d sing her praises every time, regardless of how food tasted.
Advertisement
“But… she was too beautiful for her own good. I didn’t understand it at the time, what Rong meant, when he said they took her in front of him… but, I could see what it did to him. We moved away from there soon after. He never explained why.”
Her hands cover her face and she suddenly laid backwards.
“The next years were covered in silence. Not bad, not good. We moved to this city and… weren’t really there to him. Just two mouths that were once close to him. Until I had starting growing up…”
Eyes blank and gray, she speaks dispassionately. Like she’s not really all there.
“I still remember the first time he talked about my hair, after Mom died. ‘It’s just like hers…’ he would say. It started with doing my hair for me. I think Lin was jealous at first until she saw what it meant for him. He started to connect with us again. We began doing things together. In a strange way, it was fun. We were getting our dad back.”
Her hands are clenched and I can already see the tears flowing down.
“We weren’t his daughters anymore, though. We ignored the drugs, the yelling, the screaming… the fighting. Eventually, we just were some women to him. I’ve always hated this hair, because of that…”
She shakes her head and her voice returns some life to it.
“… but we made it through. We had a plan. We knew our situation and how to work it to our advantage. With time and planning, we would get there.”
She looks a little sad before continuing. “Though… I guess that isn’t exactly true. Things would have ended pretty quickly, if you hadn’t come. He had enough. At that point, he was just using us for the next fix. No matter what it was. I didn’t see it in time to warn Lin.”
She sighs and there’s silence in the room before she turns to me.
“Why do you help us, James?”
I can tell this is a serious moment. She’s heard me. I’ve heard her. But do I understand her? My mind’s a mess. I… I’ll just speak and respond. To address to her fears.
“I help you guys… because I… I just…”
I pause my words. And try to restart.
“I know you’re worried about why I would want to help people who might not normally be ‘worth’ helping. Where I come from… it’s normal, to try to be friends with people for no other reason than feeling a connection with them. Or to help people who might need help. Even if it is bad for you in the short term.”
I feel myself subconsciously moving my hand to the back of my head, rubbing it slightly.
“And if I’m being honest with myself… I feel like I’m not doing the right thing if I’m not using my powers to help people. After helping you two with your conditions, I want to see it through to the end. It’s not only that, though. I think you guys are awesome. Truly, amazingly awesome.
“So, I stay here. I work with you, hoping to get to know you better. Helping you in whatever ways I can. Ultimately, I’m happy, when my friends are happy. I can’t sit by, as you and Lin are hurting. Frankly, it hurts me to know that you’ve been through. If you guys aren’t doing well… I feel bad about it.
“I just want to be there for you guys… in whatever way I can. I don’t need any sex from you. I’m not looking for anything from you, except your friendship. I know it may seem and sound weird, but that’s just the type of person I am. I’ll keep saying it as many times as I need to.
“I just want to do the right thing by you two. For you to be safe, happy, and… I don’t know… I’m talking in circles. D…Do you understand where I’m coming from?”
She pauses, not saying anything else.
She swallows before speaking, sounding exhausted.
“You really don’t seem to get what I need from you. What we need from you.
“But… I… I… also can’t believe that there is any sane person who would only look for friendship in a relationship. Especially, if you have no initial reason to know them. It makes no sense to me. What I can understand and live with… is that you are clearly weird one. Who goes around healing people… with no reason other than, ‘they were sick?’ Who definitely comes from a place that I’ve never heard of and with so many things that are strange.”
She looks away. Then looks back at me, her eyes less narrowed than before, but still hard.
“Fine. We’ll see what you do. I’m not accepting this, though. You want to be friends? Okay then.”
Her eyes narrow further. Her chin lifts slightly.
“I’m not giving up. I know what you’ll want. Talk is easy. So, I’m going to be right here. I’m not leaving this room. We’ll see what kind of friends you’ll want to be after tonight.”
She rolls directly onto me, catching me by surprise.
She’s still naked. Lips tightened, as she looks up at me from my chest. She places a hand on my leg.
“So. What are you going to do?”
…
…
Advertisement
- In Serial37 Chapters
Level Down
Hell is for children. Thats not a social commentary, its open mockery. After finding out the supernatural world has a video game interface I figured not much could shock me anymore. Guess I shouldnt have tempted fate. WARNING: This is a long form story. The chapters starting out will be buildup and it might take some time to Reach the litrpg elements. please enjoy the first infernalRPG.
8 173 - In Serial8 Chapters
Rise of the Green
This is set three hundred years before my other fiction, Journal of an Adventurer. With the age of disbelief coming to a close, people shoved to the side and rejected from mainstream sociality came together to form an organisation. If they worked together, they would protect their way of life, which conflicts with their technological mindset. In Favinonia, a place of learning and advancement. Where the world’s new technologies are created and studied. University Engineers reworking various new designs of past do-dads and gismos to serve the need of the populous. In a world still filled with magic, the Favinonian people have turned away from magic to embrace this new reasoning. Deprived of faith, the populous was yes advance but lacked humanity and needed to move onto the next step, losing emotion and losing touch with the higher realm. These cause some to fall for other means, pursuing that need to fill with devil and demon cults. In the chaos and ignorance came a community of healers with ancient knowledge before the Massacre of Magic. These few will eventually found the church of the Trinity whose three aspects of Green, life and death with healing and agriculture, Orange, retribution and protection with the flame of passion and Blue, knowledge and law with the clarity of the mind.
8 136 - In Serial44 Chapters
The Guardian of Magic
New chapter every morning. Oliver Kapur, a successful politician, is part of a world where reality is the only thing worth believing. Where the people no longer believe in magic or the savior that is destined to save the world from calamities every one thousand years. Oliver doesn’t either. He’s never believed magic has ever existed and more than anything, he holds personal hatred for the savior, the Guardian of Magic.But with the arrival of a mysterious man, everything Oliver thought he knew changes when he’s sent two thousand years to the past. Here magic is commonplace, believed in, and loved. All Oliver wants is to go home and return to his life, where life and reality are painful but make sense. But he has no hope of leaving until he helps win a rising war against darker forces and, to his horror, accept his responsibility as the Guardian of Magic.
8 133 - In Serial8 Chapters
Destined for Talent
Kingdom of Crystal's Soldier Dillon Caudry had just been promoted to General Soldier of the Barrier Unit. Just when events in his life were going great, and he found a beauty he believed to be the love of his life, war struck again and he must return to a world enveloped by pain, fire, and unchanged history. It was the same thing all over again, and he knew he was at the end of his rope. His colleague, General Soldier Aster, trapped in the same net as he and grieving just as badly, never lost hope no matter their circumstances. Will he press Dillon to grow his talent once more, for the sake of their nation? Or do their people face a life of lost courage and defeated hopes? A/N: Includes BL, GL A spin-off to another title, Rage of Fire. I'll post ROF when I have more chapters.
8 145 - In Serial34 Chapters
Volturi kings mate
Maya has been hiding nearly her whole existence. She is an angel, and no I don't mean she acts like one, no she actually IS an angel! The angel of death to be exact. She makes sure that vampires that have abused their powers were punished. It's funny how they always seem to beg her to please stop and instead hand them over towards the volturi instead. It might be because she is ruthless when she is handing out her punishments. Not only were they tortured for long period of times but in the end she killed them as well. Since she is extremely powerful she has gained a lot of enemies, but to her luck no one knows her secret to whom she really is.When however one of her oldest friends asked her to help him fight against the volturi, she agreed! Not because they where after her ever since they heard of her, but because Carlisle is her only true friend! What will happen when right on the field all three of the volturi kings find their mate in her? Will she ran away? Or is she going to stay?
8 125 - In Serial56 Chapters
The Event Master
It is a reincarnation/transmigration story where the MC can only do magic that is socially condemned, but is protected somewhat by his powerful political station. For as long as he can keep it, anyway. With a little luck and some modern world thinking, perhaps he'll come up with something to change people's minds. Not forcefully though, that would be unethical. ** The MC is not a fighter. He's a gamer. He loves rpgs, movies, modern music, and telling stories. I intend to post at least once a week in the range of 2k words. If work eases up I'll increase the amount again. ((Work has instead intensified to the point where I'm struggling to get a chapter every two weeks. I'll pick it back up properly when I can, but for now it is on temporary hiatus while I still might post every once and awhile. This winter, I plan to go back to regular posts until the story finishes.))
8 169

