《Fighting to be Kind in a Cultivation World》Chapter 50 - Innocent Hearts and Guilty Minds

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As me and Gong travel back through the caverns to the main hall, slowly, it seems both of us want to talk a bit.

I’ll ask first.

“So.”

At my words, she tenses up slightly.

“They call you the Maroon Spider now, apparently.” She turns her head to look at me in confusion. I don’t think this was the question she was expecting.

She seems to laugh a bit and relax, before responding.

“Yeah, apparently I looked really scary. I heard some of the escapees say something like that, but it seems like it caught on. I could have sworn it was the Maroon Monster though…”

“Well, honestly the giant pillar of spiders did seem pretty flashy. But I have to say. Damn, did it look cool as hell. I see what you meant earlier about using the spiders in a different way.”

She tenses up a little, which changes to a curiously wry face. “Well… I didn’t want to go out all out against them like that, but when they were throwing that many cultivators at us, I didn’t really have a choice.”

She pauses in the tunnel, causing me to accidentally walk into her a bit.

Speaking quietly, she practically whispers her next words. “I’m sorry about not protecting you.”

It would be easy to just act like I didn’t hear her, but I should address this the right way.

“You’re wrong on that. You made the decision anyone would have, especially in such a precarious position. Plus, I’m sure you haven’t needed to actively protect someone before, right? From what I can gather, usually you are either fighting alone or scaring someone away from others.”

“No. I’ve protected people before. I just… I just got so scared. All I did was tell you to run, but I know… I know I could have protected you there.

“I saw the cultivator throw you into the wall. I thought you had died, but I didn’t come after you. I only focused on myself. Even after all you had done for me.”

“Okay, you have to stop that.”

I place a hand on one of her spider legs, in what I hope is a comforting way.

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“Look, that was a serious battle. No one else in this city who isn’t a cultivator could fight against 15+ cultivators, no matter how poorly trained they are, and come out on top. Even then, if you make one mistake, it would’ve been over in a second.”

I try to maneuver around her slumped body until I can catch her downcast eyes. She closes them, but I get a little closer. “Hey… seriously. All we can do is try to be better for next time. Even if you felt you messed up this time, let’s be better together for next time, okay? I know there were so many things I could have done, that would have gotten me out of that situation, that were in no way your fault.”

She opens her closed eyes and I realize how close we are, with my head less than a quarter of a meter away. My eyes dart to her soft looking lips and then her eyes again.

Got to stop doing that.

She gives a half-chuckle at that.

Suddenly, she slaps her cheeks and seems to cheer up a bit.

“You know, you are right. Next time, we’ll be better prepared for anything. All we have to do is plan things out and practice them.”

As her words flow out, her confidence seems to grow more and more. “Not many people will be looking to fight us, since we did a number on the Vermillion Stripes lower ranked members. We’ve already made some good connections- oops, I mean alliances. That’ll make them a lot more cautious in getting revenge for all the people we killed. We should be a lot more secure in our location as well.”

She seems to be feeling a bit better, with a slight smile on her face. It’s such a nice sight.

“Well, I’m glad then. Let’s get back to the group and battle plan for the upcoming times.”

I keep walking, assuming that she’s following.

However, that doesn’t appear to be the case. As I look back, she has an accusatory look focused on me.

Oh no, what did I do?

Ah. Actually, I think I already know.

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“So, James? I heard from a reliable source, that the reason why the Yellow Sashes were interested in you was because for some reason one of their members were magically healed. You wouldn’t know why she was suddenly and magically healed like we were… would you?”

“Ahhhh, umm… about that.” She moves scarily fast to my side. She places a heavy hand on my shoulder.

“You know James, I feel like we had a conversation before. One that specifically detailed why it’s such a really bad idea for you to reveal your abilities. Especially, to one of the strongest gangs in this area. And, I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t have been the only one.”

Ahhhhhh.

I can feel myself shaking a bit.

Her grip increases slightly, but then relaxes as she sighs. “Look, I’m just worried. Healing people randomly will win us friends, but maybe not the right ones. Though, I’m sure you had your own reasons, with this in mind.

“I will say that this time it also turned out to better for us, as they seem to have appreciated your help as an alchemist enough to make an alliance. However, we will need to be more cautious around them. You must always have an alchemy or acupressure solution to problems. Their leader will definitely try to steal you away, though.”

She hesitates before speaking, “She is likely the type that will try to give you what you want, unless you overly decline. Be cautious with her. It may seem nice, but remember they are still a gang. They may seem ‘righteous’, but they are anything but.

“Even now, she’s likely only holding back because of Big Sister Crane.”

Yeah, she’s right on this. I knew when I saw that girl alone out there that I could have handled that better.

It still is frustrating though. How am I supposed to just pass these people by?

“Yeah, you are right on that… it’s just frustrating to see all of these people who are injured all time. And no one seems to care.”

She bites her lip at that, holding her tongue.

Her voice cracks a little, as she speaks up.

“I… I feel the same way. I told you earlier about my friend who built these tunnels?”

“I remember. She must have been pretty awesome to have managed making all of this…”

“Yeah… she was pretty amazing…” Her eyes unfocuses a little, before snapping back to me.

“The reason I brought her up, is that she actually made all these tunnels to house demi-humans. She wanted to give them a place they could stay that was safe.

“As you know… we aren’t too welcomed up there and are barely given anything to survive. This place was meant to help give us a more permanent home.”

She looks up at the ceiling, “Thinking back on it, there were so many flaws with her plan, but even with that… I don’t know. I just can’t help wanting to bring her dream to fruition. My territory is meant to be that safe haven for demi-humans.

With your help, however, we can make the underground a safe place… for cultivating demi-humans.”

She sighs again and then turns around, away from me. “Look at me, I’m rambling over here. Point is, I understand you wanting to help people… we just need to get to the point where we can do it without being crushed. Even with the spiders… all it would take is a single foundation establishment to wipe away all the progress we’ve made here.”

“So please. Be careful with your healing. Wait until you can get a cultivation manual to use your healing powers openly. Please. I don’t want to lose another friend.”

It kind of touches my heart, that she’s willing open up this much…

I’ll try.

This just means that I have to truly start working on my alchemy skills. So, that I can heal people without needing to rely on my healing aura.

“I understand. Thank you… for telling me all that. I know it couldn’t have been easy for you.”

She nods slightly to that, with air softly escaping her lips.

Her next words stop me in my tracks.

“I like you.”

Wait. What?

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