《Pay me in Venison》38. Wrap Him in Chains

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After they led the third prisoner back to his cell, the interrogator walked around the partition and bowed to the queen, "my staff should be done with making transcripts of the first two interrogations by now, Majesty. I have just sent the third upstairs for copying."

"I believe we can begin discussions without transcripts for now," a grim Queen Margo stated. "Please, Justicar Salsa, instruct your staff to bring the transcripts to the cabinet room, and then please come and join us."

As the Justicar left, the Queen glared at the floor for a moment and then straighten, "Gargle!"

"Here, my queen," the Generalissimo stood up.

"I want all the Nordwegians confined without violence. Use gas if you must. Put the Duke and the Prince under house arrest in their guest rooms, after removing all their weaponry. Put each soldier in a separate cell until we can interrogate them all. Shackle, chain, and gag the bishop and put him in the pit."

"What about diplomatic immunity?" Magrat protested.

"That's a human conceit, not a goblin one," Queen Margo said in a level and calm voice. "I believe I am favoring a more elvish approach given that one of the people the Bishop targeted was my blood sister. He meant to either burn you to death or to frame you for the death of a foreign princess who was our invited guest. Had he succeeded with the latter, it could have caused a war. You know how intolerant and hot-headed the elves can be when they've been wronged. We do not need to be kind to someone who just committed an act of war."

Gargle looked at the two sisters, waiting to see who prevailed.

"I would argue not to put our friend the Bishop in the pit. He has not been judged yet therefore it is not lawful," Magrat said in a monotone.

"You agree he's a danger if not confined?" the Goblin Queen posed.

"Oh yes," Magrat was thoughtful, "especially his mouth."

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"I will amend my orders, Gargle," the Queen ordered. "Gag the bishop and wrap him in chains from shoulder to foot. Then put him in a cell, preferably far from any other prisoner, window, or skylight. Let him sit in the dark in chains. He's a bit on the fat side. We will do him the favor of looking after his health and help him to lose some weight. Don't bother to feed him until tomorrow." The Queen looked at her sister, "is that acceptable, sister dear?"

"It will suffice," Magrat said in a pleasant tone of voice.

"Well then, shall we retire to the cabinet room?" Margo smiled sweetly.

- - -

Wren and I were not invited to the meeting of the queen and her ministers. We went shopping in the souk guided by Gragoy. Having the opportunity to talk to him at length, he grew up in a village that specialized in orchards. He showed a significant liking for books and was disinterested in fruit and nut trees. Noting he was unsuited for the village trade, his family adopted him out to a family in Kizdangengar in the ward of scholars, librarians, and teachers. He was now retired and spent his days keeping house for his busy wife or reading in the great library on the seventh ring.

He was a marvelous guide since he knew all sorts of obscure trivia about the city, regaling us with all kinds of interesting stories from goblin history. I'm sure our walking down the lane with the book store run jointly by the scriptorium and the library was purely by accident. It was a terrible experience for me. All those books and no way I could buy any and take them with me on a hunting expedition. I found one that both Cat and I wanted.

"Fuzzy?!" I was pulling on the hem of Cat's elkskin tunic, which is as big a hint as I can give. "What, Fuzzy? Don't tell me you found a book? Now, why am I not surprised? Alright, alright, I'm coming."

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I led him to the bookshelf where I saw the title on the spine of a codex. Then I bonked his leg so he would put my glasses on my nose first. If I didn't get my glasses now, Cat would get too absorbed in looking at the book that he would forget. I think every goblin in the shop stopped to watch Cat put my glasses on me. Was it really all that interesting? To be honest, I thought it was a bit of a pain. I'd much rather not be farsighted because I like reading.

Having greatly improved my near vision, I spotted the book immediately and stood on my hind legs, balancing with one paw against the bookshelf and putting my other paw on the book. Then I dropped back to all four on the ground.

"Oh Fuzzy, what a find! Here, hold my staff," he held it so I could grab it with my teeth. "Oh my! Oh, this is heavy." He pulled it down but started to lose his balance. "Dammit!" The book started falling but Cat was already chanting. Everything stopped. Then Cat got his balance and standing position back, followed by the book righting itself in midair and floating sedately. Cat made a little gesture with his hand the book placed itself on the nearest viewing table. There was an unexpected outburst of applause from all the goblins in the shop. It startled both me and Cat. Cat regained his composure first and made a panache-filled bow to his audience.

"I should have asked for help," Cat said as he pulled out a chair for me to sit on. I just barely fit. He seated himself and opened the Lector Achflakalstrebr's Compendium of Races, Monsters, and Arcane Creatures, with a Special Appendix of Life Forms of Caves, Caverns, Ruins, and Dungeons. Revised Edition. On the title page in Goblin Gothic script was printed: Reprinted By Special Arrangement of the Royal Scriptorium with the Royal Gorgurak Academy Library, Seventh Ring, West Quadrant, Mail Stop Three.

"Let's see what the table of contents looks like," Cat turned the page, which was a dedication to King Kobaltkartoflen. The next page started the text with the first entry on Aardvark, whatever that creature was.

"Wow," Cat's eyes were wide behind his mask, "this must be an old text if it doesn't have a table of contents." He flipped through the pages and then stopped when he spotted: "Ælf, argent. Ðe tallest tribe of þe tallest of þe humanoid peoples, þe argent ælfs reside in ðe Getcel Forest betwixt ðe Blasted Steppe and ðe Mountains of ðe Moon on ðe Continent of Zhataffeln. Unlike oþer æfen peoples, ðe argent ælfs..."

"Oh Fuzzy, this looks like a great book! Let's try wyverns." He went to the back of the book, looking for W. There was no W. "Tell me I'm not going crazy."

* Alright. You're not going crazy. Happy now? *

"Fuzzy," he gave me an impatient look, "that wasn't helpful."

* But you told me to tell you that, * I retorted.

"Why is there no W?" He glared at the book.

* Look for the letter wynn. It looks like a Y that's lopsided to the right or a cursive P that's missing its stem. It may also look like a letter rho. It's an old form of W. *

"Oh!" He found it quickly once he knew what he was looking for. He read: "Ρyvern, schnee. Ðe race of ρyverns ðat resides in ðe norþ are pure argent and prefer cold places. Ðey may come souþ ρen it is ρinter and find food by finding animals ðat move. If one is still, ðe schnee ρyvern and all oþer ρyverns too ρill not see you..."

"Fuzzy, we need this book. What a find. Go find the others. They need to see this."

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