Cloud Eye went out with Magrat to the souk first thing in the morning. When they returned before the noon hour, Cloud Eye sat Cat down at the kitchen table.

“I want to try something, Cat," Cloud dumped some brown powder with an intriguing smell into a bowl and added a little oil from a vial. He stirred it for a minute, inspected it, and then stopped, "can you push your sleeve up, Cat? On your left arm, please."

Cat gave Cloud Eye a wary look and pushed up his sleeve, exposing the angry red puckered scars of his cooked flesh.

Cloud Eye dipped a rag into the liquid, “this may or may not work, Cat, but if there is any pain at all, you must tell me." He brushed the liquid onto the back of his hand first. His skin turned a much darker brown where the fluid had been applied. "Huh," he studied his hand.

“Ready?” he asked Cat. Cat nodded. Cloud Eye applied the rag to the scar. The skin turned even redder and started to blister.

“It hurts, it hurts, it hurts a lot,” Cat clenched his right fist and his teeth.

I immediately stood on my back legs, put a paw on the table for balance, and held my other front paw over Cat’s arm. I invoked the healing spell for burns and watched the blisters go away. Cat took in a shuddering breath,

“Thank you, Fuzzy,” Cat exhaled in relief.

"Damn," Cloud Eye grimaced. "You're one of those people that react to gannum bark. It's funny stuff. Half the world is okay with it and the other half reacts like you. It's a shame because it will darken skin and lasts for several weeks. But it’s not something we can use. Now, please bear with me. I want to try one more thing.”

Cat gave Cloud Eye an even warier look. Cloud Eye took out another vial. He wetted a rag and dabbed some on Cat’s arm. We all stared at the spot as nothing happened.

“What’s supposed to happen?” Cat asked. “It’s not getting any darker.”

“It’s not supposed to,” Cloud Eye explained. I’m just making sure you don’t have any reaction to this stuff. It will turn your red hair blond.

“Really?”

“Yep,” Cloud Eye smiled. “So we can at least give you some proper elven hair. We can keep you bundled up and tell everyone you have sensitive skin that can’t be exposed to sunlight. Sun disease is a known elven skin infliction. It's uncommon but not unknown. I also picked up some spirit gum and some crepe latex. They've got everything in the apothecary shops here. I never thought I'd ever see crepe latex right when I wanted some."

“What’s crepe latex?” Cat asked.

"With a candle, I can warm it and mold it, and it's roughly the same color as your pale skin. Then I can glue it onto the top of your ear, and you'll have an elven ear tip for as long as the spirit gum lasts."

“But spirit gum is a permanent adhesive,” Wren said.

"Yes, which means when we take it off, it will hurt," Cloud Eye nodded.

“Can I go home now?” Cat squeaked, holding his head.

The other thing that Magrat and Cloud Eye picked up was a lovely full-length white houppelande. Magrat had Wren put it on and then had her hold her arms over her head. Magrat whipped out a pair of shears and trimmed fabric from the front. I was shocked. I padded over and looked at the fabric, which I thought might be a close-cropped velvet. It wasn't. It was white deerskin. It draped beautifully on Wren and accentuated the golden brown of her skin and the pale yellow of her hair

“There, now you won’t trip walking in it,” Magrat pronounced. I was amazed at how perfect Magrat’s cutting was.

“Is this really necessary?” Wren grimaced.

“If one must negotiate with humans, one must dress the part,” Magrat announced. “You and Fuzzy are the most eye-catching members of your party so we will use you to catch eyes and draw them away from the boys.”

Cat, Owl, and Cloud Eye were all gaping at Wren in the houppelande as if they had never seen a woman in a long dress before.

“Wow,” Cat managed to say, “you look gorgeous in that, Wren.”

- - -

An open-topped coach pulled up to the front of Magrat's house. Wren emerged, ducking her head under the too-short door jamb made for much shorter goblins. She was stunning in the houppelande. She was also the highest-ranking elf so Margo, the Goblin Queen, suggested she should be our party's representative at the meeting about the wyvern problem. She suggested I should go too after she had a good laugh over my story of playing chaperone for the elven princess.

I was wearing my usual riding pad, mostly because it was the easiest way for me to carry my reading glasses. Magrat rode with us. She was wearing a rather amazing white and dark green set of robes covered with gold embroidery and an elaborate hat that matched. She carried a white staff topped with a gold knob.

Magrat sat next to Wren and across from me. I took up the entire seat. I am a bit bigger than any goblin, after all.

* So, Lady Magrat, are you really just the head of the Equalizer's Office? After all, your sister is the queen. *

"We goblins, don't have a hierarchical society like the humans do. We don't have territorial lords like humans or chiefs like elves or meisters like the dwarves. People sometimes call me lady because of my office, not because my sister is queen. We choose our queen by the election of the three government wards. I'm just the head of the equalizer's office, though there is another name for my office that you probably aren't aware of."

* And what is that? *

“First Minister.”

Wren laughed and shook her head. “I’m beginning to appreciate why my father likes you people as much as he does.”