《Pay me in Venison》31. The Attack of Fuzzy the Chaperone
Advertisement
Prince Willam began to close the distance as he followed us. His two companions, who I guessed were guards, looked startled and concerned as they increased their pace to catch up with the prince.
All three were in dark green fur-lined knee-length houppelandes with big droopy sleeves and thigh-tall black boots. They had jaunty flat-brimmed hats with feathered plumes. I guess that was what passed for fashion these days in Tammerhof.
The contrast with my elves could not be more stark. All four were dressed in brown wool hoods, elkskin tunics, and deerskin hosen. Cat had thigh-high boots to disguise that one that was his false leg. The other three wore thick knee-high boots, mostly for protection from snake and rodent bites. The elves all carried backpacks with our two tents and cooking gear, plus their bows, and quivers. Two things made the elves stand out: their height and their white wyvern-skin cloaks. Those two things made us easy to follow, even among goblins riding horses and driving wagons.
Even though my head hurt, I needed to do something to slow these Nordwegian round ears down. * Μει εασιλλι jο φυοττεν φαν λεαδ jααν * I invoked the spell of giving one's enemies metaphorical lead feet. When your mind tells you that each foot suddenly weighs four times as much as usual, walking becomes slow and painful.
I felt a force shred my spell and send a mental slap back at me. I yipped in pain and then growled in anger. Just what I wanted on top of a headache.
"I felt that, Fuzzy," Cat looked down from his pony in concern. "Did you try to delay them?" I nodded.
* Σjεν * I closed my eyes and opened my mind's eye. I saw the swirl of a magic amulet hanging as a pendant around the prince's neck under his clothes. So, the prince was wearing protection from magic against his person. I was feeling like I would hurt myself if I cast any big area effects like the fog of confusion or sticky air right now. Giving myself a worse headache from over-using magic struck me as a bad idea. I wouldn't be much protection for my boy if I put myself in bed for several days with a backlash headache.
I did the only thing left to me as a viable option to stop this prince from following us. I hopped out of the cart and started walking toward the three humans. I had never stopped wearing the riding pad that Cloud Eye made for me while we had been traveling. It was a visual sign that I wasn't some wild beast out of the forest. Even if I could delay the round ears for five to ten minutes, it should be good enough for Magrat to get my friends off the main roadway through the souk.
Advertisement
"Fuzzy?" I heard Wren behind me. "What are you doing?"
"Wren," Cat replied, "she going to slow them down. She tried a spell and it got canceled. She's got a bad magic overuse headache so she's resorting to physical intimidation. She'll catch up. You know she can."
"Well, then," Magrat interjected, "let's break up for now. Make the next right turn and then take the second left. Meet up under the big red sign four columns down with the blue boots painted on it, next to the potted birch tree out in front of the bootmaker."
Confident that my people would take care of themselves, I approached the three Nordwegians at a slow menacing walk. I started up a low growl just to get myself in the right mood. The goblins around me noticed and moved away from me as fast as they could. Then the curious and the cautious stopped to watch.
All three youths stopped when they noticed me padding toward them.
"I thought that the hunting cat was under the control of the elves? Isn't it trained to stay with them?" The shorter but well-muscled brown-haired youth remarked with worry all over his face. He unsheathed his poignard but held it down next to his side casually, looking unthreatening but ready to defend if needed.
"Maybe it is under their control," said the tall red-haired boy with peach fuzz on his face. "Maybe they sent it to keep us from following." His hand was hiding a throwing knife. He must have a wrist sheath like those that Motley Owl liked to use.
"No," the prince studied me as I got close enough to see the blue of his eyes. "That's not a trained hunting cat. That's a spirit beast and she's probably the one who normally lives at the home of the King of the Green Elves."
"A spirit beast?" the brown-haired youth gaped. "That isn't just a peasant tale? They actually exist?"
I stopped about ten yards from them, sat on my haunches, and glared at them.
"Now, this is an amazing sight," Prince Willam smiled thoughtfully. "I take it I am addressing the Lady Fuzzy?" he took off his cap and made a proper bow, the kind that one makes to a noblewoman.
I nodded. He was a very smart young man. This could be a problem.
"It seems like you do not approve of our following your companions," he smiled a sincere and charming smile. Oh, yes, this boy was going to be a problem.
Advertisement
"I merely wanted to introduce myself since they are surely the elven hunting party with the young mage who felled a wyvern." The charming smile was unwavering. This kid was good. His courtly charisma routine was flawless. "Surely that would not be a problem for you since it's in both our best interests to work together? Would you not take us to your friends so we can get acquainted?"
I tilted my head and gave them a half-lidded stare. I let the silence draw out a little more as the prince looked at me with a friendly, hopeful expression. Then I straightened up and shook my head no.
"Certainly, it would not be polite of you to stop us from merely going on our way?" he asked brightly.
I wasn't going to trust this con man's smile one bit. I just sat there and growled just loud enough so they could hear me. I say the prince whisper something to his two friends. They each ran in a different direction. I didn't care one whit about the other two boys. I leapt to where I calculated the running prince to be once my leap was over. In midair, I wrapped my forepaws around his torso and twisted, so I landed on my side and rolled on my back.
"Oof!" The prince found himself in my embrace, looking at me with a startled expression. Once again, I wished I had an advanced case of halitosis. Oh well.
The prince recovered his wits quickly and gave me a resigned look. "I see you are determined to keep me from meeting your friends. There are always proper diplomatic channels and I will use them if I must," he spoke in the tones of someone who knew exactly how the game was played. "Such a shame you can't talk. I'm sure we could work something out."
I knew I would pay a price for what I was about to do. I licked his face to get him to lift his chin. He obliged by lifting his face away from my tongue. What a good prince. I quickly shifted my tongue to stick it down his now-exposed neck and fished out the amulet. I got my fangs around it and pulled to snap the chain it was on.
"Ow!" Prince Willam cried in pain. "Hey! What are you doing? That's my pendant. Give it back."
Now that his mind was no longer shielded from me, I cast mind talking. * Now that you no longer have this thing preventing me from speaking to you, I can make a few things clear, young human. *
"You can mind talk? You're a mage?" He looked surprised. His eyes were as round as silver pieces.
* Now let me make one thing clear to you, young man," I growled softly for the sake of his education, "I saw the way you looked at my princess and that is something I will not tolerate. Were it not for the invitation of the Goblin Queen, I would see that we would quit this place and your adolescent-human hormone-driven lustful stares. Don't think I missed what was going on below your belt. Nobody looks at my girl like that and gets away with it. *
He had the good manners to blush. "Oh dear," he looked appalled and probably was. Boys his age often lack control. "I didn't...I mean, I wasn't going to..." He turned even redder. "Oh my, what a muddle." He pulled his face back together, "might I please stand up, Lady Fuzzy. If we embrace like this much longer, people might begin to talk."
I pulled my paws off his back, * careful with your boots when you get up. * We both got to our feet and composed ourselves.
I still had the pendant in my teeth, * take your amulet. If you wear it on your belt, you will be able to hear me, but it will still give you protection from effect spells. Good luck with those diplomatic channels, and keep your naughty eyes off my princess. *
He meekly took his pendant and tied the broken chain around his belt, "say something, please, so I know it works."
* Something. *
"My, the spirit beast is also a great wit," he bowed politely, "until we meet again, my lady."
I watched him gather his two worried colleagues who were watching from a few yards away with poignards drawn and ready. I ignored them once I saw the prince lead them away from the souk towards one of the stairways to the higher rings. I sniffed the air and hurried to follow the scent of elven soap before the traffic in the souk dissipated it.
Advertisement
- In Serial20 Chapters
Twisted Tales
A she-elf, the last of her kind upon the earth after the rest of her race abandoned it centuries earlier, becomes entangled in fairy tales. Je Kinah's moral compass demands that she lend a hand to stories that were meant to have a 'happily ever after' but have gone astray. However, she is not without her own story and her past is coloured with tragedy and tainted with despair. Even as she unwravels each fairy tale, more of her own story is revealed and the ultimate conclusion is addressed. Can a she-elf ever hope for her own happily ever after, after all she has done?
8 232 - In Serial50 Chapters
Sarsaparilla's Scary Super Power. Completed
Sarsaparilla is an older teenage girl living on Mars. And, like many other young people around her, she has a super power. Or, rather, she is supposed to have a super power. Only she has never been able to activate it, she doesn’t even know what her super power is. This annoys her, tremendously. But she hides this behind a really sweet smile. Adalace is another teenage girl, also on Mars. She knows what her own super power is, and it is quite a good one. She is also really cute… so long has she keeps her feelings under control and doesn’t let out anything from her dark past. Teylon is a man, currently living on Earth. He likes to think of himself as still young, even if he is over fifty. He’s a bit smug about his successful career and is thinking of retiring… until a sadly unfortunate event leads him to the conclusion that he had better immigrate to Mars. Immediately. Apparently, meeting one’s own Angel of Death tends to cause people to make profound changes to their lives… Mars society had better brace itself, because once these three people, plus another three also not so quite stable individuals, collide with each other, the resulting explosion is not going to leave anyone on Mars unaffected. This is another Esmeralda, the Angel of Death, story. It follows on from my previous two such stories, but it is in no way dependent on the previous stories. They can be read in any order. It is fully written and proof read (using Word for Windows, no real editor touched this transcript) and comes to about 247,000 words (about 895 Royal Road pages). It is organized into 50 chapters and I will be publishing them roughly one per day. In my writing, there are multiple characters and multiple points of view. Each change in a point of view is introduced by a header, giving the viewpoint character’s name first, and possibly a title. Inside a Point of View section, dialog in italics represents the Point of View character’s thoughts, while dialog between quotes represent normal spoken dialog. This story is very much inspired by the anime A Certain Scientific Railgun. However I have only taken some elements from the anime, and changed everything I took to make my own story, and so it does not count as fanfiction. Yeah, I know, the book cover page isn’t very good. It’s the best I could do, by tracing over a stock image. The two ladies shown are supposed to be Adalace and Sarsaparilla. Ideally I would have liked there to be two images of this pair, one where they are smiling sweetly and looking cute, and one where they are looking really angry and dangerous. But that totally exceeds my graphics abilities. You will just have to imagine it.
8 116 - In Serial45 Chapters
Those Darn Sexy Kidnappers
OOOOH SNAP!Cassie Claire was in for quite the pickle.She and her bevy of BFFs decide to go to the store one morning, but little did she know that she was about to meet one sexy, sexy man. Like in a romance movie, they locked eyes, and the whole world came to a screeching halt. What happened next wasn't as similar to a romance movie.He put a gun to her headAnd kidnapped her.#Booksbooksbooks!#TheWiseWordsOfMe
8 148 - In Serial6 Chapters
Guilder Story
The Guild, the world's largest and most evil Sect, destroys the memories of its applicants to ensure their loyalty. For one lizardman, that may not be enough.
8 156 - In Serial6 Chapters
Odd Jobs for a Occult Handyman
Winston Shady is the Occult Handyman. Using batteries to power his spells, he does the jobs no one else can. Poltergeist haunting your garbage disposal he gots you but if your roof needs to be reshingled call someone else. I will post complete job stories once a month. I will attempt to connect each story sequentially into Winston's life by using interludes introducing more characters and issues during these.
8 190 - In Serial5 Chapters
My Belly Photos
I don't personally gain weight on purpose, though recently I've been having second thoughts about losing it...
8 195

